So over in the Men’s Rights subreddit, the fellas are doing their best to address the burning Men’s Right issue of “date inequality,” or, as one recent poster put the question,“Hey feminists. How come men are still expected to pay for dates?”
I’m pretty sure that feminists aren’t the ones expecting men to pay for dates, so I’m not sure why feminists should be held to account for something they’re not doing, but in any case, the Men’s Rightsers don’t seem much interested in hearing explanations from feminists. No, they’re rather offer their own theories.
Enter a new convert to Men’s Rightsism called MrKocha, who enlists the aid of SCIENCE to offer his own explanation of this terrible date injustice:
I see a lot of problems with every day inequality between the sexes in mate interaction in various areas.
Attention, human female. Initiating mate interaction protocol.
First being, the average female has vastly different motivations in her mate selection. How much is nature vs nurture is up for debate, but I tend towards believing millions of years of evolution probably have left a significant mark there.
Huh. What are the odds that these millions of years of evolution just happen to line up with whatever regressive assertions about women — sorry, females — this dude is about to make?
Anyway her mate choice process often involves looking for signs of genetic fitness in male (attractive appearance, displayed dominance socially or physically, risk taking, higher social status), and weighing this against his ability to invest in her long term future: such as pay her dinner/bills). Paying for dinner displays two things: one a willingness to self sacrifice for women, and two the financial resources to continue to do so.
Let’s see. Human beings for the majority of their existence on this planet were hunters and gatherers. Even if we assume that men mainly did the hunting and women mainly did the gathering, the gathered food made up the bulk of the diet. So really, men on dates should expect women to bring them large salads in return for the carcass of a small mammal.
The second part of the problem is women also have a significantly stronger in group bias, to the point where considering points of view don’t immediately benefit females is actively more difficult.
Uh, I think you accidentally the sentence there.
The process of asking women to merely consider in the name of equality, whether there are social solutions to reduce inequalities between the sexes in mate selection scenarios commonly triggers a strong negative emotional response, that her ‘turf’ is under attack and whoever presents such a question is a threat.
Really? Lots of women have no fucking problem whatsoever with paying for dinner.
How women deal with this varies tremendously. Some experience a great deal of cognitive dissonance, denial, and explain away inequalities with whatever rationalization provides the most reassuring emotional responses.
Wait, are we talking about women or about MRAs now?
Some project their outgroup hatred upon whoever voices the opinion by attacking the individual with petty, poorly thought out attacks on their character.
He must be talking about MRAs, right?
Others, immediately jump miles past the idea of social equality being a noble (if potentially impossible goal), to the issue of consent, making accusations that somehow even considering the idea of more equality in gender relations is an attempt to violate consent of female mate choice? (MY CHOICE! DISCUSSION IS RAPEFUL!)
Um, how did we get from talking about dinner to talking about rape? Is he really suggesting that women have literally accused him of rape because he suggested they pay for their own dinner?
And finally, there do seem to a minority of women who are able to consider the issue rationally, even if it admittedly, challenges her immediate self interests and might be harder than other subjects to think about?
Wow, some women — albeit a minority — somehow manage not to be spiteful, narcissistic children! What a generous assessment of half the human race.
How to tackle the issue, when women potentially have 4 times the amount of in group preference, reinforced by feminist doctrine and a potential biological preference towards the behavior?
How is “getting dudes to pay for dinner” part of feminist doctrine exactly? I’m pretty sure The Rules isn’t a feminist manifesto.
All I can say is to continue to challenge any social doctrine that reinforces in group bias of women and praise women when they display the ability to think outside the spectrum of their immediate self interest even if ultimately there isn’t much other benefit to you?
Who’s a good woman for thinking outside the spectrum of her immediate self-interest? You’re a good woman for thinking outside the spectrum of your immediate self-interest!
Always try to keep in mind, that the negative responses, are basically a reflection of why the question is a valid one in the first place.
Exactly. Whenever women recoil in horror at some astoundingly misogynistic thing you’ve said, that just means you’re totally right!
In a followup comment, MrKocha returns to the notion that women love throwing around rape accusations, not only at men who argue with them about paying for dinner but at “sexually inexperienced men” generally. It’s bad enough that women aren’t attracted to these men, he argues, but
the amount of shame, condescension and hostility thrown their way is quite impressive.
It can range anywhere from rape accusations to golden ones like “I hope you never find someone and stay alone forever!”
Fun fact: each and every man on the planet earth, no matter how sexually experienced, was once a virgin. Somehow most of them managed to garner themselves a certain amount of sexual experience without being accused of rape and/or having women express the opinion that they should remain alone forever.
Assuming that McKocha is speaking from experience here, and assuming also (because I’m already disturbed enough by his comments) that the bit about the rape accusations is internet hyperbole, what exactly is causing all these women to get so angry at him?
I don’t think it’s the sexual inexperience. I think that maybe, possibly, it might be the fact that he obviously hates women?
Just a wild guess.
MrKocha started up a whole thread of his own to further discuss his scientific hypotheses about the human female and her mate choices. It’s called Females Oppressing Female Mate Choice. Because these evil females who put down sexually inexperienced men are also oppressing females who might choose to mate with these men!
Thanks to AgainstMensRights for clueing me in to the wonderfulness of MrKocha — here and here.
If they’re willing to pay for sex they should just do so directly.
(But that wouldn’t give them the trill of feeling like they’re taking advantage of an unwilling woman, I guess.)
Yes, they’re all about imposing their wishes on women, really.
Also I think they want to be able to pretend that women really do find them desirable, an illusion that paying for it directly would threaten.
Plus they’re too cheap. Like I said way earlier, they think dinner counts as payment in advance for sex? Not unless either the restaurant is really fancy or they’re in a very poor country. They’re basically saying “all women are sex workers, and their time is worth roughly $5-10 an hour”.
I picture him eating really fast and his leg shaking under the table and him checking his watch.
If I was accepting payment for sex, I’d want actual money I could spend on what I wanted to, not a meal – especially if it was his choice of restaurant.
… I wonder if “I can’t eat this muck?” cancels the deal?
LOL that’s all too easy to see!
That’s just it they are cheap and not only that they view women as cheap .What kind of self respecting woman is going to hop in the sack and give a wild ride to a guy just because he was “willing’ to invest in buying her a burger , some cheddar fries and a beer ?
Sorry even IF I was a prostitute it would cost more than $14.00 ..SHEESH!
Just for a BJ would be $30 and you better hurry up!
Wow Moobs. You’ve gone from rape apologia to making fun of disabled people. I’ve got to screencap this for the file
What on earth are you talking about?
Diz: what the fuck are you on about?
I thought we were making fun of dumb people, I didn’t see anything anywhere about the disabled. Hmm.
When did being an MRA become a disability?
Not being able to get a date is a disability? 😛
Maybe it’s the sexual inexperience that’s the disability. Are incels trying to qualify for welfare now?
If some of these assholes are going to start calling “incel” a disability I can’t even.
Fierce kittehninjas!
If incel were a disability I could sue the gummint for THOUSANDS in backpay.
I iz ninja!
No no guys, DiZ has resigned himself to life in backwards land in an attempt to correct the evil he has unleashed on the universe…no wait, that’s DiZ from Kingdom Hearts, not this fool, carry on.
Well, if this diz thinks we’re laughing at the disabled, zie is living in backwards land … there’s just no corrections happening.
diz is the same person who came to the CDC thread to talk about how awesome Toy Soldier’s response to the CDC email was. So diz is probably accusing David of being a rape apologist because of David’s initial stance on the categorization of female-male forced envelopment as rape (and even then, that accusation is pretty inaccurate given the nature of David’s stance). As for that accusation of ableism, that makes no sense whatsoever.
Toy Soldier … awesome …
OW there go my eyes again!
Oh, is it Hurl a Random Accusation at a Random Person Day again, already?
Well, dizzy, you’re loitering. And you’re jaywalking. Nah-nah-na-nah-nah!
I notice diz hasn’t deigned to explain just what this ableism is. Colour me surprised.
As the old sign says: Stupidity is not a disability. Park elsewhere!