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Men’s Rights Redditor explains the mate choice process of the human female, and also why she won’t pay for dinner

Stick-up females waiting for men to bring them dead animals for dinner.
Stuck-up females waiting for men to bring them dead animals for dinner.

So over in the Men’s Rights subreddit, the fellas are doing their best to address the burning Men’s Right issue of “date inequality,” or, as one recent poster put the question,“Hey feminists. How come men are still expected to pay for dates?”

I’m pretty sure that feminists aren’t the ones expecting men to pay for dates, so I’m not sure why feminists should be held to account for something they’re not doing, but in any case, the Men’s Rightsers don’t seem much interested in hearing explanations from feminists. No, they’re rather offer their own theories.

Enter a new convert to Men’s Rightsism called MrKocha, who enlists the aid of SCIENCE to offer his own explanation of this terrible date injustice:

I see a lot of problems with every day inequality between the sexes in mate interaction in various areas.

Attention, human female. Initiating mate interaction protocol.

First being, the average female has vastly different motivations in her mate selection. How much is nature vs nurture is up for debate, but I tend towards believing millions of years of evolution probably have left a significant mark there.

Huh. What are the odds that these millions of years of evolution just happen to line up with whatever regressive assertions about women — sorry, females — this dude is about to make?

Anyway her mate choice process often involves looking for signs of genetic fitness in male (attractive appearance, displayed dominance socially or physically, risk taking, higher social status), and weighing this against his ability to invest in her long term future: such as pay her dinner/bills). Paying for dinner displays two things: one a willingness to self sacrifice for women, and two the financial resources to continue to do so.

Let’s see. Human beings for the majority of their existence on this planet were hunters and gatherers. Even if we assume that men mainly did the hunting and women mainly did the gathering, the gathered food made up the bulk of the diet. So really, men on dates should expect women to bring them large salads in return for the carcass of a small mammal.

The second part of the problem is women also have a significantly stronger in group bias, to the point where considering points of view don’t immediately benefit females is actively more difficult.

Uh, I think you accidentally the sentence there.

The process of asking women to merely consider in the name of equality, whether there are social solutions to reduce inequalities between the sexes in mate selection scenarios commonly triggers a strong negative emotional response, that her ‘turf’ is under attack and whoever presents such a question is a threat.

Really? Lots of women have no fucking problem whatsoever with paying for dinner.

How women deal with this varies tremendously. Some experience a great deal of cognitive dissonance, denial, and explain away inequalities with whatever rationalization provides the most reassuring emotional responses.

Wait, are we talking about women or about MRAs now?

Some project their outgroup hatred upon whoever voices the opinion by attacking the individual with petty, poorly thought out attacks on their character.

He must be talking about MRAs, right?

Others, immediately jump miles past the idea of social equality being a noble (if potentially impossible goal), to the issue of consent, making accusations that somehow even considering the idea of more equality in gender relations is an attempt to violate consent of female mate choice? (MY CHOICE! DISCUSSION IS RAPEFUL!)

Um, how did we get from talking about dinner to talking about rape? Is he really suggesting that women have literally accused him of rape because he suggested they pay for their own dinner?

And finally, there do seem to a minority of women who are able to consider the issue rationally, even if it admittedly, challenges her immediate self interests and might be harder than other subjects to think about?

Wow, some women — albeit a minority — somehow manage not to be spiteful, narcissistic children! What a generous assessment of half the human race.

How to tackle the issue, when women potentially have 4 times the amount of in group preference, reinforced by feminist doctrine and a potential biological preference towards the behavior?

How is “getting dudes to pay for dinner” part of feminist doctrine exactly? I’m pretty sure The Rules isn’t a feminist manifesto.

All I can say is to continue to challenge any social doctrine that reinforces in group bias of women and praise women when they display the ability to think outside the spectrum of their immediate self interest even if ultimately there isn’t much other benefit to you?

Who’s a good woman for thinking outside the spectrum of her immediate self-interest? You’re a good woman for thinking outside the spectrum of your immediate self-interest!

Always try to keep in mind, that the negative responses, are basically a reflection of why the question is a valid one in the first place.

Exactly. Whenever women recoil in horror at some astoundingly misogynistic thing you’ve said, that just means you’re totally right!

In a followup comment, MrKocha returns to the notion that women love throwing around rape accusations, not only at men who argue with them about paying for dinner but at “sexually inexperienced men” generally. It’s bad enough that women aren’t attracted to these men, he argues, but

the amount of shame, condescension and hostility thrown their way is quite impressive.

It can range anywhere from rape accusations to golden ones like “I hope you never find someone and stay alone forever!”

Fun fact: each and every man on the planet earth, no matter how sexually experienced, was once a virgin. Somehow most of them managed to garner themselves a certain amount of sexual experience without being accused of rape and/or having women express the opinion that they should remain alone forever.

Assuming that McKocha is speaking from experience here, and assuming also (because I’m already disturbed enough by his comments) that the bit about the rape accusations is internet hyperbole, what exactly is causing all these women to get so angry at him?

I don’t think it’s the sexual inexperience. I think that maybe, possibly, it might be the fact that he obviously hates women?

Just a wild guess.

MrKocha started up a whole thread of his own to further discuss his scientific hypotheses about the human female and her mate choices. It’s called Females Oppressing Female Mate Choice. Because these evil females who put down sexually inexperienced men are also oppressing females who might choose to mate with these men!

Thanks to AgainstMensRights for clueing me in to the wonderfulness of MrKocha — here and here.

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baileyrenee
11 years ago

Blech! That sucks Ally.

Elam’s been talking for like, two minutes only, and already I’m rolling my eyes so hard it hurts. I’m scared to go on, this going to be so fucking cringeworthy.

Ally S
11 years ago

“print “My name is Alice””

PHP — echo “My name is Alice”

Yeah, PHP has nice syntax, too.

But what about this?


print "Enter your name: "
name = gets
puts "Your name is #{name}"

String interpolation is a lovely thing. Beat that, PHP!

CassandraSays
11 years ago

His rage-face photos are bad enough, I don’t need to see him on video.

Ally S
11 years ago

Oh yeah, my dad has the same rage faces, too. X_X It’s fucking terrible. Sometimes my dad’s rage faces are even worse, which is saying a lot.

baileyrenee
11 years ago

I’m pretty much jumping straight to Charles’ parts, for now anyway. I’ve heard Elams’ garbage enough times by now.

CassandraSays
11 years ago

@ Ally

I’m so sorry. Just seeing photos of Elam raging out gives me hives.

baileyrenee
11 years ago

Honestly Ally, Elam is being such an immature prick in this video I don’t think I could stand to watch it if he reminded me of a family member I had issues with. I’m just skimming over his parts and he’s already making me want to barf.

Ally S
11 years ago

I have never watched a video with Paul Elam in it because I’m too afraid of hearing his voice and possibly finding out that it’s like my dad’s voice.

baileyrenee
11 years ago

Ya, I wouldn’t then. I think this is the first time I’ve seen him in a video besides that really short 20/20 trailer, and he’s pretty as much smug and icky as I though he would be.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Ally — enter my name where, there’s gotta be some box to put it in and I doubt “gets” makes one. Or you mean handling HTML forms? In which case…

Echo “your name is:” . $_POST[‘name’];

But that’d be after an HTML form with something like <input type=”text” name=”name”> (nobody’s ever called HTML pretty)

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Er, put a space between : and ” or that’ll print out as

Your name is:Ally

Ally S
11 years ago

Argenti, gets is a method from Ruby’s IO (input/output) class that basically takes in user input. It’s similar to JavaScript’s prompt() method, but it doesn’t have any associated window prompt like in JS. I’ve mostly used it in the context of programs completely outside the context of the DOM/whatever. So there’s no HTML or anything like that needed.

I suppose the only problem with gets is that it coerces input into a string object, which then must be coerced into a float, integer, symbol (another neat Ruby-only thing), etc. depending on what kind of data you need to use.

cloudiah
11 years ago

I just got home. Did anyone watch/Is anyone watching the “debate?” How is it?

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

So effectively it does create its own little input box, nifty.

Ah WP, making me resort to jQuery DOM insertion to deal with your standardized output fucking up on floats.

auguries8
11 years ago

Reblogged this on auguries14.

lana
lana
11 years ago

Oh, lord, yes, the guy whose ego is directly tied to his wallet.

I’ve been reading more of conversations linked . Im getting the impression its not ego. Its more about competition with other men.A guy that lets a girl pay is competing against 6 other men who will pay . IOW he has “better odds” if he pays.

Further (yes there is more) they calculated in that the female will see it as a sign that he is willing to invest (a whole meal ) that he must have better resources than the guys that go dutch .

freemage
11 years ago

lana: Is there a chart? Please let there be a chart. MRA charts are the most amusing things on the planet.

lana
lana
11 years ago

Freemage,

I don’t thing there were any charts or graphs.There may have been a link though to an in depth research study backed up with MRI’s and EEG’s.

lana
lana
11 years ago

Another thing I’m deciphering is I swear they are saying in their round about way feminism is not really about equality .If it were women would have sex with men she is not really attracted to because men do. Fair is fair ya know ?

lana
lana
11 years ago

This one guy on their is hilarious .He’s like dude ! What are you whining about ? You act like you have no power. Just say “hey you wan to go out ,we could go dutch?” If she says yes you haven’t lost anything if she say no ? Oh well again no loss plenty of other fish in the sea!You’ve lost nothing and avoided a glod digger.Hes like stop being a pussy!(he says he call is girls that are friends pussy’s too when they are acting like weak sniveling whiners (paraphrased)

The guy was like yeah but If I ask her that it may turn her off.Even if she’s not a gold digger.

LOL!!! I thought the whole point was women are looking for a free meal ticket ???

Oh my gosh what a conundrum !

lana
lana
11 years ago

Others, immediately jump miles past the idea of social equality being a noble (if potentially impossible goal), to the issue of consent, making accusations that somehow even considering the idea of more equality in gender relations is an attempt to violate consent of female mate choice? (MY CHOICE! DISCUSSION IS RAPEFUL!)

This one perplexes me . Last I checked consent laws were already equal. So how can we make them “more equal” for men as it pertains to female “mate” choice?

How is it a miles apart jump(rapey) since we already have equal rights to consent? When the suggestion is it isn’t (equal)and they are the ones complaining about getting rejected ?

Or is he suggesting if we were really into “equality” we should encourage women to have sex when they really don’t want to because the guy is horny and he would happily do it for her ?

freemage
11 years ago

lana: Pretty close to that. See, MRAs insist that women are leeching off of them in the dating scene. Rather than push for an end to gender roles, what they want to do is enforce the idea that a woman ‘owes’ sex to a man who bought her a drink/dinner/movie tickets/whatever. Furthermore, they want to negate the idea of consent–if you accept the meal, that’s supposed to represent consent to everything else the guy has in mind.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Gawd, what a twit. Does he really think women expect their meals to be paid for? Why can’t he ask someone out for coffee – nice and casual and cheap. Man’s an idiot, but that goes without saying, given he’s an MRA.

lana
lana
11 years ago

lana: Pretty close to that. See, MRAs insist that women are leeching off of them in the dating scene. Rather than push for an end to gender roles, what they want to do is enforce the idea that a woman ‘owes’ sex to a man who bought her a drink/dinner/movie tickets/whatever. Furthermore, they want to negate the idea of consent–if you accept the meal, that’s supposed to represent consent to everything else the guy has in mind.

So sex for food?

What I wonder is how many of them would be interested in a woman that pays ?

Wouldn’t he be thinking he’s wasting his TIME in the “friendship” zone if its 50/50 on out of pocket expenses and he hasn’t gotten laid yet?

kittehserf
11 years ago

Can’t you just see this guy sitting trying to figure out his time and money expenses and whether he’s breaking even or it’s all starting to pay? He’d be a fun date, not.

Just think how much happier these maroons would be if they started treating women like people. Heavens, they might even get to have sex on occasion!

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