So over in the Men’s Rights subreddit, the fellas are doing their best to address the burning Men’s Right issue of “date inequality,” or, as one recent poster put the question,“Hey feminists. How come men are still expected to pay for dates?”
I’m pretty sure that feminists aren’t the ones expecting men to pay for dates, so I’m not sure why feminists should be held to account for something they’re not doing, but in any case, the Men’s Rightsers don’t seem much interested in hearing explanations from feminists. No, they’re rather offer their own theories.
Enter a new convert to Men’s Rightsism called MrKocha, who enlists the aid of SCIENCE to offer his own explanation of this terrible date injustice:
I see a lot of problems with every day inequality between the sexes in mate interaction in various areas.
Attention, human female. Initiating mate interaction protocol.
First being, the average female has vastly different motivations in her mate selection. How much is nature vs nurture is up for debate, but I tend towards believing millions of years of evolution probably have left a significant mark there.
Huh. What are the odds that these millions of years of evolution just happen to line up with whatever regressive assertions about women — sorry, females — this dude is about to make?
Anyway her mate choice process often involves looking for signs of genetic fitness in male (attractive appearance, displayed dominance socially or physically, risk taking, higher social status), and weighing this against his ability to invest in her long term future: such as pay her dinner/bills). Paying for dinner displays two things: one a willingness to self sacrifice for women, and two the financial resources to continue to do so.
Let’s see. Human beings for the majority of their existence on this planet were hunters and gatherers. Even if we assume that men mainly did the hunting and women mainly did the gathering, the gathered food made up the bulk of the diet. So really, men on dates should expect women to bring them large salads in return for the carcass of a small mammal.
The second part of the problem is women also have a significantly stronger in group bias, to the point where considering points of view don’t immediately benefit females is actively more difficult.
Uh, I think you accidentally the sentence there.
The process of asking women to merely consider in the name of equality, whether there are social solutions to reduce inequalities between the sexes in mate selection scenarios commonly triggers a strong negative emotional response, that her ‘turf’ is under attack and whoever presents such a question is a threat.
Really? Lots of women have no fucking problem whatsoever with paying for dinner.
How women deal with this varies tremendously. Some experience a great deal of cognitive dissonance, denial, and explain away inequalities with whatever rationalization provides the most reassuring emotional responses.
Wait, are we talking about women or about MRAs now?
Some project their outgroup hatred upon whoever voices the opinion by attacking the individual with petty, poorly thought out attacks on their character.
He must be talking about MRAs, right?
Others, immediately jump miles past the idea of social equality being a noble (if potentially impossible goal), to the issue of consent, making accusations that somehow even considering the idea of more equality in gender relations is an attempt to violate consent of female mate choice? (MY CHOICE! DISCUSSION IS RAPEFUL!)
Um, how did we get from talking about dinner to talking about rape? Is he really suggesting that women have literally accused him of rape because he suggested they pay for their own dinner?
And finally, there do seem to a minority of women who are able to consider the issue rationally, even if it admittedly, challenges her immediate self interests and might be harder than other subjects to think about?
Wow, some women — albeit a minority — somehow manage not to be spiteful, narcissistic children! What a generous assessment of half the human race.
How to tackle the issue, when women potentially have 4 times the amount of in group preference, reinforced by feminist doctrine and a potential biological preference towards the behavior?
How is “getting dudes to pay for dinner” part of feminist doctrine exactly? I’m pretty sure The Rules isn’t a feminist manifesto.
All I can say is to continue to challenge any social doctrine that reinforces in group bias of women and praise women when they display the ability to think outside the spectrum of their immediate self interest even if ultimately there isn’t much other benefit to you?
Who’s a good woman for thinking outside the spectrum of her immediate self-interest? You’re a good woman for thinking outside the spectrum of your immediate self-interest!
Always try to keep in mind, that the negative responses, are basically a reflection of why the question is a valid one in the first place.
Exactly. Whenever women recoil in horror at some astoundingly misogynistic thing you’ve said, that just means you’re totally right!
In a followup comment, MrKocha returns to the notion that women love throwing around rape accusations, not only at men who argue with them about paying for dinner but at “sexually inexperienced men” generally. It’s bad enough that women aren’t attracted to these men, he argues, but
the amount of shame, condescension and hostility thrown their way is quite impressive.
It can range anywhere from rape accusations to golden ones like “I hope you never find someone and stay alone forever!”
Fun fact: each and every man on the planet earth, no matter how sexually experienced, was once a virgin. Somehow most of them managed to garner themselves a certain amount of sexual experience without being accused of rape and/or having women express the opinion that they should remain alone forever.
Assuming that McKocha is speaking from experience here, and assuming also (because I’m already disturbed enough by his comments) that the bit about the rape accusations is internet hyperbole, what exactly is causing all these women to get so angry at him?
I don’t think it’s the sexual inexperience. I think that maybe, possibly, it might be the fact that he obviously hates women?
Just a wild guess.
MrKocha started up a whole thread of his own to further discuss his scientific hypotheses about the human female and her mate choices. It’s called Females Oppressing Female Mate Choice. Because these evil females who put down sexually inexperienced men are also oppressing females who might choose to mate with these men!
Thanks to AgainstMensRights for clueing me in to the wonderfulness of MrKocha — here and here.
LBT,
Yes of course its not limited to Christians . I will say thought I think abuse (misuse) “twisted” interpretations of the Bible will actually attract “abusers” to convert based on like 2 lines .
It doesn’t even have to be rape either .But coercion /guilt tripping (beating over the head with Bible you are a sinner) can lead to sex under threat of punishment by God .Which I believe is predatory and spiritually abusive as well.
IOW I think there are some men out there (and of course women too) that “fake” being a believer to another believer to take advantage of taking “literally” (and out of context too)certain parts of the Bible for their own self seeking selfish advantage.
Ewww, lana, I can well imagine that. Much the same as the way abusers will use the BDSM community as we were talking about before.
I missed that. But I can see the parallel . Predators do “lurk’ around in many circles.
I’m a trusting person but . I have seen enough to know or lets say not be surprised by much.
OH …And the MRA and the manosphere ? As much as I wish people like that did not exist ?As long as they do I’m actually grateful for their public spew. One way or the other they are out there .At least this way we can know there are men walking around in public with this shit in their head .Easier to learn “red flags” when to dump their asses. RUN!!! LOL!!
This whole “creepshaming = racism” thing could get really recursive. If creeps are their own race, then I reckon creep-shamers count as a race, too, so the creepshamer-shamers are just being ignorant and bigoted about our cultural practices. Screw you dude, my people have always shamed creeps!
If you read about old Celtic divorce practices apparently it has always been the custom of my people for women to scorn men who fail to satisfy them sexually. So stop Celt-shaming me.
Creep-shaming has to do with race?
Dafuq?
kittehs – You know how it is. Being called a creep is TOTALLY the same thing as calling a black person a [slur], because MAN LOGIC™!
::head asplodes::
See: MYGAWDSMYBRAINSAREPOURINGOUTOFMYFUCKINGSKULLNOOOOOOOOOO.
Could be worse, could be the old “May your ears turn into arseholes and shit all over your shoulders!”
The stupidity in that guy is enough in either case. And it’s offensive.
Thanks MRAs! You have just made your anger over being called a creep equal to my rage whenever you suppose that all Asian women are submissive gold-digging sluts!
I wonder if it would be worth spamming them with strong female character images every time they start in on the submissive Asian women thing. I’m sure we could find some videos of Bridget Lin kicking ass without too much difficulty.
That’s a fantastic idea.
I vote for dropping them in a room with my sisters in-law to see how long it is before they get that submissive bullshit out of their heads.
Actually I have a music video to totally confuse them. One the one hand, sexy young women in skimpy clothes. On the other hand, the sexy young women drown their cheating boyfriend in a giant lab beaker.
Well lets not give the Asian girls a “bad name” .It would be a good idea to inform them they aren’t submissive sex slaves though .Cuz they aren’t.
Any dudebro who thinks Asian women are submissive has never met my Chinese landlady from my university days. THAT was the toughest little old woman you ever saw. Barely spoke English, took no back talk from anybody. I bet she could have Kung-Fu’d these guys into a gibbering pulp, too. I never bothered to try her patience.
Feminism says :
BOOH!
Ally — I think WP uses MySQL for it’s SQL stuff, but you don’t need to touch it. I did the devowelment in MySQL because it’s how the PHP tut showed it, but I’d assume any DB could handle that.
“print “My name is Alice””
PHP — echo “My name is Alice”
I’m not sure what’s “giving Asian girls a bad name” about a band making a music video.
There’ say other form of blockquote / italics “monster” (more a sprite) — blockquotes are in italics, so trying to use italics in them is pointless. But…testing
In italics.
Ok, it’ll close italics if you leave them open in the block quote. Odd, but nice of it.
HEY! Paul Elam debate!
Paul Elam actually looks almost exactly like my dad. So I basically have extra special hatred for Elam.