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creepy men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny PUA sexual exploitation

A creepy expat in Southeast Asia explains why money = tits and how this makes exploiting poor women for sex ok

The sexiest man alive?
The sexiest man alive?

Over on Random Xpat Rantings the terrible excuse for a human being who calls himself Xplat sets forth an intriguing proposition: for men in search of sexy times, having money is the equivalent of a woman having tits.

In other words, it’s not absolutely necessary for a man to have big bucks to garner the attention of the opposite sex, just as it’s not absolutely necessary for a woman to have something in the tit department in order to garner the attention of men, but it helps. A lot.

Oh, by the way, the title of the post in which he sets forth this theory is “ALL women are inherently gold diggers down to their pussy juice.”

Let’s let him explain, in his own icky way:

Women know their value. They know they can trade their value for their benefit. In [South-East Asia] this is not a dirty little secret. It’s not even an open secret. It’s just a fact of life. Money is part of the equation, blatantly and openly. …

Money-and-power-and-social-status is exactly equal to breasts. It can be a cause of sexual attraction in and of itself, and can maintain a relationship when there is nothing else being offered.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure when someone is literally interested in nothing about you except your money, you’re not actually in a “relationship” with that person.

Women aren’t men with vaginas. Their sexual attraction triggers are different. It’s not just that they fuck for food. Not JUST a matter of pragmatic sales of a service. Actual attraction is ALSO involved.

I like big bucks and I cannot lie?

Now, of course Xsplat here is challenging the common PUA gospel that men shouldn’t rely on money to win over their “targets” but rather on being cool and caddish and, you know, going to places where there’s a good chance a lot of the women will be pretty drunk.

Manospherians hampsterbate about this with a zillion “ya buts”. Ya, but you don’t NEED money. Yup, and girls don’t NEED tits.

Having tits is better and more attractive anyway, and girls with tits can get more and better quality men.

Having money is better in exactly the same way. You don’t see many flat chested Penthouse centerfolds, nor are there many broke romance novel heros.

Well, I don’t know much about romance novels, but from what I hear there’s a shitload of slash fiction about two dudes named Sam and Dean who basically live out of their car.

It’s not the case that SOME girls are gold diggers.

It’s just a matter of all the gold diggers mining for gold in different ways.

And of course all of this turns out to be a justification for Xplat’s own use of his relative wealth, as a western expat living in Southeast Asia, to exploit impoverished women for sex.

For me sex is about ecstatic intimacy. Money helps to get more intimacy with a greater percentage of girls, and higher quality girls. I choose to allow egoic esteem to include finances. Money is not cheating. Money helps to skin the cat. Money is not separate from my fantastic ethereal self. Money is part of what I am; part and parcel of what I am to a woman.

That’s got to be one of the creepiest and most delusional excuses for sexual exploitation I think I’ve ever run across in the three years of doing this blog.

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LBT
LBT
10 years ago

I’m… I’m not sure, seraph. I’m pretty open to ideas, honestly. If you know Cliff, sending him supportive messages might be good?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

You know, I frequently disagree with the things that Cliff writes about kink, but telling him to kill himself has never struck me as a productive way to address those disagreements.

(Following links, that whole argument reminds me of why I nopetopussed away from the BSDM scene as soon as I got the California.)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

Oh FFS.

http://maybemaimed.com/2010/04/30/yes-men-can-be-feminist-leaders/

I’m not able to cuddle with acquaintances whether female, male, or intersex without being seen in a predatory light.

Maybe your acquaintances just don’t feel comfortable around you? Because I’ve been quite happily cuddling male acquaintances for as long as I can remember.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

More ugh.

Prodommes are supposed to be first and foremost professionals. There’s not a single prodomme I’ve spoken with (and I’ve spoken with quite a few, mind you) that doesn’t try to draw a very distinct separation between their work and personal lives. That right there makes their professional interests a lot less interesting to me as a submissive male, because why would I want to be with someone who is proactively separating me out of their personal lives? Again, it comes down to the fact that there are just too many pathetic men out there. Makes me ashamed to call myself male sometimes, really.

Dude, sex work is a JOB. It is completely unreasonable to expect a sex worker not to draw boundaries between her job and her personal life.

If he just wasn’t interested in visiting sex workers then cool, whatever, but the whole WAH THEY ARE FAILING TO MEET MY NEEDS BY HAVING BOUNDARIES thing raises so many red flags.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

The entry title alone makes me side-eye. Why SHOULD a man be a feminist leader? Is there some obvious candidate for the damned title?

Seeing the number of assholes who seem to try to claim it, I’d rather pass, thanks.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

You have to read it! Apparently the person who wasn’t cool with him wanting to be a feminist leader should have known that it was OK for him to be one because he’s submissive and Jewish. Wut?

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

why would I want to be with someone who is proactively separating me out of their personal lives?

Because they’re not your friend. They’re a professional, who you pay for the privilege of their service. Cope.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

I am so offended that my barista doesn’t want to come to my house and make me coffee. I think I’ll write a blogpost about it.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

The more I hear about this guy, the creepier and creepier and more awful I find him.

*rolls eyes* I’m submissive, queer, and trans. And my favorite treat is dark, dark chocolate. None of these facts have ANYTHING that make me capable of being a feminist leader. Ain’t nobody made you Queen of Madames, dillweed.

Ally S
10 years ago

I believe every inequality oppresses the oppressors as well as the oppressed because inequality erases opportunity and choice.

Translation: let’s render the concept of oppression meaningless by assuming that oppressors and oppressed people are equally disadvantaged by a system of oppression.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

You snarking this makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER, CassandraSays. Really. I couldn’t actually bear to read that shit myself, and I was getting pretty upset over it, but somehow, mocking makes it small and mean and petty, like it actually is.

Also, being a subby queer boy doesn’t make you an honorary woman. SHOCK.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

But… that’s not what oppression… means… AUGH MY HEAD IT BURNS

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

Obfuscating word salad, it’s what’s for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
10 years ago

Feminists are… submissive and Jewish? Um, yeah. I got nothin’.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

@ LBT

He seems to think that because he’s a sub women shouldn’t be allowed to view him as a potential threat, even if they don’t actually know that he’s a sub, which is just…dude, you fail feminism 101. Go stand in the corner and think about what you’ve done.

Alex
10 years ago

Just saw it now. That is incredibly awful. Jesus, these fuckers don’t even deserve to be compared to shit.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

The worst thing is that I agree with him that the BSDM scene is far less friendly to subs and concerned with their needs (especially their need to have their boundaries respected) than it pretends to be, but given his blithe disregard for other people’s boundaries and tendency to tell people to kill themselves, I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

RE: CassandraSays

Yeah, well, it’s stupid. My hubby’s a switch, and before he met me, he was definitely heavier on the subby side. He’s also 6’5 and built like a linebacker. Surprise surprise, he was always aware of the fact that a lot of people found him instrinsically intimidating!

Also, it’s not like people can tell your kink orientation off the bat. Also, subs can be hella awful people! Just because they’re into something doesn’t make them decent!

(And yes, shit like this is why I never joined the BDSM subculture here either. I kept hearing all these awful horror stories!)

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

Yeah, well, even a dead clock is right twice a day. Even NWO said something true once in a blue moon, I expect.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

I’m still stuck on how lulzy it is that this dude thinks that being a sub means he can’t be a dangerous person. Um, if you go around telling people to kill themselves when they disagree with you, I’m going to go ahead and suspect that you might not be an entirely safe person to be around.

cloudiah
10 years ago

Well you guys dealt with the creepy expat, so I’m left wondering if there’s anything we can do to help Cliff out.

Also wondering if anyone here has been doxxed, since some teenager on Twitter is apparently claiming he’s doxxed us all.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

Also, is he following Cliff around with this kill-yourself campaign of his? Because if so, um, ability to respect boundaries, you don’t have it, so please do everyone else a favor and GTFO the BSDM scene.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

But he’s an ACTIVISSSSSST! *eyeroll*

Seriously, I’m sorry I ever met this guy. Fucking creepy as hell. I mean, I have exactly one person who I hate. ONE. He almost makes me a theist, just so I could imagine a hell for him to burn in, and I wouldn’t tell HIM to commit suicide. (Even if he weren’t already dead, I mean.) So just… the fuck? What the fuck.

And WHY aren’t other people seeing through him? I mean, I know we get folks like Elam and Roosh, who have their own goddamned fan club. It’s just really gross to see more of it HERE.

cloudiah
10 years ago

My internet is wonky and I’ve been trying to post for a while. I think I missed a bunch of messages in the meantime. Ignore me.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

Eh, honestly, most of my encounters with the BSDM scene here have left me with the impression of a bunch of awful people being shitty to each other. This latest round of bullshit does nothing to improve that impression.

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