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creepy men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny PUA sexual exploitation

A creepy expat in Southeast Asia explains why money = tits and how this makes exploiting poor women for sex ok

The sexiest man alive?
The sexiest man alive?

Over on Random Xpat Rantings the terrible excuse for a human being who calls himself Xplat sets forth an intriguing proposition: for men in search of sexy times, having money is the equivalent of a woman having tits.

In other words, it’s not absolutely necessary for a man to have big bucks to garner the attention of the opposite sex, just as it’s not absolutely necessary for a woman to have something in the tit department in order to garner the attention of men, but it helps. A lot.

Oh, by the way, the title of the post in which he sets forth this theory is “ALL women are inherently gold diggers down to their pussy juice.”

Let’s let him explain, in his own icky way:

Women know their value. They know they can trade their value for their benefit. In [South-East Asia] this is not a dirty little secret. It’s not even an open secret. It’s just a fact of life. Money is part of the equation, blatantly and openly. …

Money-and-power-and-social-status is exactly equal to breasts. It can be a cause of sexual attraction in and of itself, and can maintain a relationship when there is nothing else being offered.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure when someone is literally interested in nothing about you except your money, you’re not actually in a “relationship” with that person.

Women aren’t men with vaginas. Their sexual attraction triggers are different. It’s not just that they fuck for food. Not JUST a matter of pragmatic sales of a service. Actual attraction is ALSO involved.

I like big bucks and I cannot lie?

Now, of course Xsplat here is challenging the common PUA gospel that men shouldn’t rely on money to win over their “targets” but rather on being cool and caddish and, you know, going to places where there’s a good chance a lot of the women will be pretty drunk.

Manospherians hampsterbate about this with a zillion “ya buts”. Ya, but you don’t NEED money. Yup, and girls don’t NEED tits.

Having tits is better and more attractive anyway, and girls with tits can get more and better quality men.

Having money is better in exactly the same way. You don’t see many flat chested Penthouse centerfolds, nor are there many broke romance novel heros.

Well, I don’t know much about romance novels, but from what I hear there’s a shitload of slash fiction about two dudes named Sam and Dean who basically live out of their car.

It’s not the case that SOME girls are gold diggers.

It’s just a matter of all the gold diggers mining for gold in different ways.

And of course all of this turns out to be a justification for Xplat’s own use of his relative wealth, as a western expat living in Southeast Asia, to exploit impoverished women for sex.

For me sex is about ecstatic intimacy. Money helps to get more intimacy with a greater percentage of girls, and higher quality girls. I choose to allow egoic esteem to include finances. Money is not cheating. Money helps to skin the cat. Money is not separate from my fantastic ethereal self. Money is part of what I am; part and parcel of what I am to a woman.

That’s got to be one of the creepiest and most delusional excuses for sexual exploitation I think I’ve ever run across in the three years of doing this blog.

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Alice Sanguinaria
10 years ago

LBT – I THINK this person’s a dude, but I’m trying to be more gender neutral about people whose genders I’m not 100% sure about. Still working on it! Slowly!

Eventually I’ll get to a point where gender-neutral pronouns would be the norm unless they/zie states otherwise and where I start doing that without thinking about it.

Cliff Pervocracy (@pervocracy)

They use “they,” but I think they identify as male? Not sure.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Oh and HI CLIFF!! *waves* it’s been ages. If you need real live brain bleach, the New Englad Aquarium is right near you right? Cuttlefish!

(Yes cuttlefish get me excited, they’re all tentacles and cute and CUTTLEFISH!!…no this one isn’t sleep dep, I just think they’re awesome)

…what I’m going for here is that the aquarium is full of awesome, and cute kids, and general AWW.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
10 years ago

Cuttlefish are truly awesome and amazing. And apparently delicious, but I haven’t tried them yet.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

They use “they,” but I think they identify as male? Not sure.

Ah, okay, if that’s what they prefer.

Cliff Pervocracy (@pervocracy)

I think sea creatures are creepy. 🙁

Fortunately, there are many pet stores near me with guinea pigs, and guinea pigs are awesome. Both as brain-bleach and as an excuse to get treats for my own piggies.

neuroticbeagle
10 years ago

Speaking of guinea pigs, I wonder how Marie and Fade are doing?

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

“I think sea creatures are creepy.”

Sacrilege! You’re as bad as pecunium with his hatred of mangos!

If that sounds mean outside my head, it’s meant to be funny and I am tired and actually going to bed now. Enjoy your guinea pigs, and g’night all!

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

I went and read the screed about the people who are making Baby Jesus cry by not linking to the maymay blog. I’ll be honest, not sure if I really understood the point (I stopped being an early adopter during Reagan’s second term). But sweet blue Krishna, what a whiner. I’m just sorry it’s so prolix and verbose, or it would be perfect for whitewhine.com, the compendium of First World problems.

And then he tells someone ‘you should die’? A Dale Carnegie success story he ain’t.

lightcastle
lightcastle
10 years ago

I too send hugs to Cliff (who I think I just saw recommended at one of SexGeek’s poly workshops). (BTW – there’s someone pushing back against “The Dom role is to push past boundaries”. Andrea’s got a whole workshop on it, and I quite enjoyed it.)

As for m^ym^y — I always had a soft spot since I kind of like gadflies and since I recall getting on his not good side for boring reasons, but I haven’t followed the blog in ages as I dropped out of the scene so hadn’t seen this. I think I need to go back and read this whole monster thread now.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Rogan – you and Mac and all are decent people with humanity and talent and wit. This dipshit is both appalling and laughable. There’s no comparison, whatever you’ve been through and however bad things have got in headspace.

This one … well, to dig up some good old Aussie insults, he’s a two-bob drongo and about as much use as a fart in a thunderstorm.

kittehserf
10 years ago

(That comment to LBT referred to m**m** wanting crash space and LBT saying they have to use it – hell, I know who I’d let in the house!)

Brooked
Brooked
10 years ago

@LBT

Submissives need dominants like lesbians need men. Think about it.

…I did. And I’m embarrassed, because it makes NO GODDAMN SENSE. Lesbians don’t need men sexually because they’re generally not attracted to them. This doesn’t hold true for subs and doms.

It doesn’t get better when he dives further into this nonsensical analogy.

Predictably, Dominant people who are long used to being revered in their communities (especially Dominant people with poor ethics or immature senses of self-worth) are terrified when they realize they are, well, not even ancillary to the whole kinky sex thing. We’ve seen this pattern before, of course. It’s the same way men—or, in the case of @DebasedAndRebased, domme lesbians—who have those traits of immaturity react when they realize they’re not the center of their target-identity fetish’s sexual world; that is, when straight men (who could be described as women-fetishists) realize that not all women are into “men,” and likewise, when dominants (who could be described as submissive-fetishists) realize not all submissives are into “dominants.”

So what do we have so far?

I’d say that we have something that still makes no goddamn sense. And go fuck your breakfast for the dickish attack on domme lesbians.

I’d like to point out how impossibly arrogant it is for him to further his role as the gatekeeper/non-attorney spokesman for submissives by dragging in the experience of a handy oppressed group that he doesn’t belong to, to lecture everyone about said group because he’s the master of all oppression and then say shit about domme lesbians because they are ignorant deluded “Dominant people”.

I’d like to a moment to explain the monolithic lesbian experience by explaining how all black people experience racism, then take a dig at black lesbians because they are doing it wrong. You can now thank me for enlightening the world with my mind-blowing revolutionary thinking.

This. Fucking. Guy.

kittehserf
10 years ago

people with poor ethics or immature senses of self-worth) are terrified when they realize they are, well, not even ancillary to the whole kinky sex thing

Is it just me who thinks (ignoring the bit about doms) this describes him perfectly?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

Have we run across a thing where he’ll refer back to someone with more personal knowledge rather than attempting to splain yet? I haven’t so far.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

Ending the existence of the BDSM community as a culture won’t end how people who do BDSM (like, y’know, most sexual people on the planet) get into BDSM, and thinking that it does makes you a fascistic piece of shit who’s telling others how to fuck.

Thoughts on this? I’ve never had a hard time finding people who’re interested in experimenting a bit with kink, but the idea that most people who’re sexual do BSDM seems a bit, um, well…just how broadly are we defining BSDM here?

kittehserf
10 years ago

That’s rich, him telling others they’re telling people how to fuck.

Most sexual people getting into BDSM? Pull the other one, it’s got bells on.

@Alex

I identify with this a lot. Tons of fantasies. Very few I actually want to have done to me and I become very uncomfortable when potential sexual partners want to know what my fantasies are. For one thing, those are mine; I’ll tell them when I feel like it. For another, fantasy =/= something I want to try. And the few that I am willing to act out can only be with someone I trust 100%.

Same here! The only reason Louis knows about my fantasies is that we’ve that type of connection. I don’t know what his are/were and don’t really want to find out; even in our situation they’re not my business. I trust him completely but I don’t think acting out my fantasies would actually be any fun at all.

What we do is definitely “vanilla” (ugh to that term) but it makes me laugh, in a scornful way, that the boundary-pushers would have you believe kink is the only way to be inventive, or take pleasure in things, or have Teh Mighty Orgasm, or whatever it is. I could see kink getting just as boring as the way some people paint non-kink. Why does YMMV not come into it for some? Insecurity about their own preferences? A wish to control or even abuse others? Or just being seen as sooo special and cool and edgy?

Pfffft.

::smh::

Brooked
Brooked
10 years ago

@Cassandra

I think his anti-oppression and pro-hyphen work is meant to battle what he calls the “BDSM Scene-State Work-Play economy”. Freed of the sexism and classicism of the current oppressive system, post-revolution BDSM will be much more advanced thanks to his unrelenting pursuit of correct sub/dom main line tactics.

This guy’s main kinks are abusing Maoism, denouncing enemies and interlinking his blog posts.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Freedom from classicism!

No togas!

(Sorry, couldn’t resist)

kittehserf
10 years ago

(Which leads inevitably to what have the Romans done for us? … actually this twit would probably fit quite well into the People’s Front of Judea.)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

I just don’t think it’s polite of him to involve Cliff in his kink without C’s consent. Much less the rest of the internet. Your kink is not my kink! Maoism should be opt-in only!

Neurite
Neurite
10 years ago

Wow, Cliff. That quote (MM’s, not yours) is really a gem.

“After weeks of trying to share the idea with anyone who’d listen, and weeks of seeing people literally refuse to share the link, mention the idea, or even just remark on its existence publicly, despite their self-professed ‘little’ knowledge about it and me…”

They are outraged that people who don’t know much about the tools and their creator don’t necessarily want to advertise these tools? Heck, they seem to think that the fact that these people didn’t know much about the tools/their creator made it less defensible that they didn’t want to advertise them, rather than, y’know, a good judgment call. If somebody pitches something at me and I know little about it, my first reaction won’t be “sure, I’ll endorse this far and wide!”

I mean, I realize what they’re implying here is that those people should have just gone ahead and educated themselves about both the tools and their creator. And sure, in an ideal world, we might all go “hm, don’t know much about this, but a tool to reduce abuse in the community does sound like a good thing, let me find out more about this” and then read up in detail about it… but look. People don’t have infinite time. When other friends of mine ask me to promote their projects, they usually do so in a spirit of “it’d be neat if you could do this, but if you don’t have the time/energy, we understand because everyone is busy”, and if some folks don’t get around to it, they don’t press the issue because look they realize they’re asking people a favor. And that’s just asking folks to share/advertise the project, not to educate themselves about the project and the person behind it, and then promote it.

And yes, I also realize their next point would likely be “but this is important, this is about preventing abuse, so you must drop everything else and devote time to this first!”. Which is just… they seem to be unclear on the difference between “dedicating time to the cause of/educating myself about preventing abuse” and “dedicating time to the cause of/educating myself about this one particular person and project“. They seem genuinely unaware that the concept of abuse prevention in the community doesn’t begin and end with them.

tl;dr Wow the entitlement and self-importance.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

Apart from anything else, it’s software. If you don’t know much about the source, how do you know it’s not malware? Especially if you do a quick search on the dude and notice how angry he is with the BSDM community in general.

I never install any piece of SW without knowing that the people who made it are legit. Surely I’m not the only one?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

I mean, really. I’m not even involved in the BSDM community any more, and for good reason, but if you approach any community going “You are all bastard people and I hate you! Now please dl and install this software that I made for you, it will totes make you safer” then chances are they’re going to give you some side-eye, even if it’s something as basic as a Facebook plug-in.

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