Over on Random Xpat Rantings the terrible excuse for a human being who calls himself Xplat sets forth an intriguing proposition: for men in search of sexy times, having money is the equivalent of a woman having tits.
In other words, it’s not absolutely necessary for a man to have big bucks to garner the attention of the opposite sex, just as it’s not absolutely necessary for a woman to have something in the tit department in order to garner the attention of men, but it helps. A lot.
Oh, by the way, the title of the post in which he sets forth this theory is “ALL women are inherently gold diggers down to their pussy juice.”
Let’s let him explain, in his own icky way:
Women know their value. They know they can trade their value for their benefit. In [South-East Asia] this is not a dirty little secret. It’s not even an open secret. It’s just a fact of life. Money is part of the equation, blatantly and openly. …
Money-and-power-and-social-status is exactly equal to breasts. It can be a cause of sexual attraction in and of itself, and can maintain a relationship when there is nothing else being offered.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure when someone is literally interested in nothing about you except your money, you’re not actually in a “relationship” with that person.
Women aren’t men with vaginas. Their sexual attraction triggers are different. It’s not just that they fuck for food. Not JUST a matter of pragmatic sales of a service. Actual attraction is ALSO involved.
I like big bucks and I cannot lie?
Now, of course Xsplat here is challenging the common PUA gospel that men shouldn’t rely on money to win over their “targets” but rather on being cool and caddish and, you know, going to places where there’s a good chance a lot of the women will be pretty drunk.
Manospherians hampsterbate about this with a zillion “ya buts”. Ya, but you don’t NEED money. Yup, and girls don’t NEED tits.
Having tits is better and more attractive anyway, and girls with tits can get more and better quality men.
Having money is better in exactly the same way. You don’t see many flat chested Penthouse centerfolds, nor are there many broke romance novel heros.
Well, I don’t know much about romance novels, but from what I hear there’s a shitload of slash fiction about two dudes named Sam and Dean who basically live out of their car.
It’s not the case that SOME girls are gold diggers.
It’s just a matter of all the gold diggers mining for gold in different ways.
And of course all of this turns out to be a justification for Xplat’s own use of his relative wealth, as a western expat living in Southeast Asia, to exploit impoverished women for sex.
For me sex is about ecstatic intimacy. Money helps to get more intimacy with a greater percentage of girls, and higher quality girls. I choose to allow egoic esteem to include finances. Money is not cheating. Money helps to skin the cat. Money is not separate from my fantastic ethereal self. Money is part of what I am; part and parcel of what I am to a woman.
That’s got to be one of the creepiest and most delusional excuses for sexual exploitation I think I’ve ever run across in the three years of doing this blog.
@auggz
It was certainly sexual harassment to me.
kittehs – I believe so, yes.
Cliff – So basically “I know it says that I’m abusive, but really, how abusive can I be if I was the one who gave you the tool in the first place, amirite?” *suggestive eyebrows*
He’s all over the place, Cliff. I don’t know WHAT exactly he’s trying to say anymore. His tendency to bloviate doesn’t help much either.
I told my brother about those things I mentioned and he responded with “Words don’t matter – what people say is just a projection of their own reality onto yours. Words shouldn’t matter to you. Just ignore what they said.” (Not verbatim, but it’s close enough.) When I told him that I disagree with his advice and that I don’t want to talk about it anymore since it wasn’t getting to him, he told me that I was just “playing the victim.”
I feel so alienated and hurt, even though he apologized later.
Your brother’s an asshole, Ally. And I’m sure he won’t mind you telling him, since words don’t matter or anything.
Ally, your brother needs to learn he’s an abusive shit and the meaning of the word gaslighting. His apologies never seem to mean much, they don’t stop him doing exactly the same thing again.
On maymaynoyoumaynot, I keep reading “hopes to make money from this tool” as “this tool hopes to make money”.
I’m sure it’s a coincidence.
Auggz – Whether Ally wants to report the harassment is her decision, and legalities aren’t the only thing that play into that. If in her judgement, it wouldn’t be safe for her to do so, that’s the most important thing.
Ally – Words don’t matter… but yours are wrong? What a complete load of horseshit. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that.
It hurt because I actually genuinely love my older brother, and he has done so much for me.
When I hear things like that from him it almost feels like betrayal. He even laughed when I told him all of the details about the jokes. Not because he’s okay with me being hurt and abused by rapists but because it was “just a joke.”
One of these days, though, I’m sure he’ll change. I just need to have some heart-to-heart talk with him. He’s still nothing like my father. I feel safe and loved by my brother so I definitely care about having a good relationship with him much more than my father.
Oh my god, I feel like crying now.
He does mean well – I know that because I know my brother – but he has a terrible way of showing it.
Ally, you can love someone, and want a relationship with them, and they can be a generally decent person, and still be very bad for you. I still don’t talk to my brother very much; he’s a reforming asshole, and he cares about me, but none of my family is much good for me.
Reading his stuff is a bit like being backed into a corner by an annoying drunk at a party. Like, dude, you’re babbling, and also a bit creepy, so could you maybe back off? No, the fact that you’re a sub doesn’t make me any less inclined to tell you to GTFO my space.
Cassandra: Possibly this person encountered an immovable object in the form of someone on whom the manipulation didn’t work and that started this whole ongoing giant internet tantrum?
Maybe. Certainly the, “anyone who disagrees with me can kill themselves is my first line of defense” speaks to something like that. It’s a way to trump the conversation, and to change the subject to something which will lead away from the debate/confrontation about whatever it was being discussed; and move it to the rightness/wrongness of him telling people to die.
Which (again) allows for the self-valorisation/praise he gets from those who think he’s being abused for his “leadership”, rather than having his ideas disputed.
[Content note: physical abuse]
Most of the time my brother is very supportive (and I always feel safe and cozy around him). He intervened the last time my dad was trying to beat me up. My dad ripped the shirt I was wearing into pieces and was about to push me against a wall and hurt me somehow, but then my brother rushed down and stopped him. And then my brother hugged me and comforted me the rest of the night, even letting me cry on my shoulder. So I’m happy he’s my brother. If he were being insincere about his love for me I’d be able to tell right away.
@ Cliff
I haven’t hit the “give me money” stuff yet. Do you mean a donation link on the blog or an open demand for money because reasons?
@kittehserf,
I identify with this a lot. Tons of fantasies. Very few I actually want to have done to me and I become very uncomfortable when potential sexual partners want to know what my fantasies are. For one thing, those are mine; I’ll tell them when I feel like it. For another, fantasy =/= something I want to try. And the few that I am willing to act out can only be with someone I trust 100%. So far that’s been only two people. My once-boyfriend of six years was not one of them.
With most partners, I stick strictly to vanilla sex because it’s what I feel safe doing (though, sometimes not even that; I’ve been known to break contact if the first time having sex with someone is painful or humiliating in any way, intentionally or not). Thing is, I don’t just need someone who won’t push my boundaries when I’m restrained or what have you; I need someone who will recognize if I’m being triggered and stop immediately. I’m not even sure the first guy I trusted enough to get a bit kinky with would have; only reason I trusted him was the fact that his body type (very buff) initially intimidated me, but he didn’t hurt me or push me to do anything I didn’t want to (nor did he ever). Second guy became my boyfriend. He was just really attentive and a good reader of body language. He was also really caring, so I felt safe trying out a few new things, but that’s it.
Last guy who got close to me held me down (not during sex, just as play) and tickled me a lot. He also mock slapped me on the way home. I didn’t realize quite how badly that had triggered me until I had nightmares that night that I haven’t had since I was a teen and the next day I was completely exhausted. Just physically and emotionally drained. I did not see that man again.
He can be good for protecting you from physical abuse and still be an asshole with what he said. *shrugs* These things aren’t mutually exclusive. I mean, our brother plays go-between with us and our folks, and that’s a good thing, but he’s also done shitty things. People are mixes.
Ally: words do matter, more than sticks and stones. How many people do you know/have you heard of who don’t paint, play an instrument, sing, play baseball, whatever, because someone they loved (or respected) told them they were no good at it?
Words are things, and they are things of power (it’s why the MRM/PUAs/MGTOWs hate manboobz). I’m sorry your brother doesn’t see that.
Cliff: I’ve been trying to figure out how to expose him to some of the people I know, in way which reduces the collateral damage to me/them: increases the exposure to criticism and ridicule for him.
All the hugs.
@Ally, I’m so sorry you’re going through that; I know about having shaky relationships with siblings you love when you’ve come from an abusive home. Hugs if you want them. Big warm fuzzy hugs. 🙁
LBT said:
“I thought Anonymous were, like, the UR-trolls. But jeez, I’m glad they were able to help you. Being trolled about cancer, that’s awful! At least the online people I got trying to grief me were people I already knew, and they kept their distance.”
Some of them certainly are trolls but some of them are quite genuine. They’re certainly a “loose canon” because there’s no accountability and (obviously) they don’t know each other any more than we know them. Also the level of paranoia and conspiracy theories are astronomical. Anyone can start an op and people just jump on board if they feel like it, there’s no hierarchy, no appointed leaders and no control so things seem really chaotic. But, the the Anons who helped me were great, really kind an helpful. It was a fairly long term problem but they really stuck with it, so I’m really grateful to them.
CassandraSays – This is what I mean by asking for money a lot: http://maybemaimed.com/cyberbusking/
For someone who can’t be arsed to even tag posts where they tell people to die (http://tmblr.co/Z4w0ay-5ZIAx), they sure have come up with a loooot of ways for you to give them money.
And hey, I get that they’re basically homeless so they can’t be shy about asking for support, but phrasing the whole thing as “people owe me this money that I earned by ranting on the Internet, and I shouldn’t even have to ask for it but I’m forced to by capitalism” is kind of galling.
So, um, lots of people blog, and most of them don’t expect it to be their exclusive means of support. Why should anyone be willing to fund him in particular?
I haven’t gone to read any more of the blog (the one trip was plenty, thanks), so I may be off on this, but I’m kind of getting a vibe like a Good Anti-Feminist Wife (R). Like, hey, I’m submissive, and I want to be totally dominated, and that’s what dome SHOULD want, and in exchange for my being your submissive, you need to keep me. Give me food, shelter, and pampering. And gifts.
Actually I think he thinks that he’s so valuable to the internet as a whole that the internet should support him, just because.
Also, the bit where he asks for crash space? Even if I wanted to help I’d be too worried that he’d expect sex.