I‘ve got a nice long review essay on Michael Kimmel’s new book Angry White Men: American Masculinity at the End of an Era up at the American Prospect. Check it out!
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Check out my review of Michael Kimmel’s Angry White Men on The American Prospect
“The way of the tantrum. ”
Worst
Martial Art
Ever.
How would a martial art based on a tantrum work? Do you get black belts for being Elam or Roosh? And white for some of the more reasonable MRAs that exist (they do exist somewhere, right?)?
Nice! And I’m glad to see you’re writing a book.
The way of the tantrum. Worst spiritual guide ever.
And why is it that people avoid mentioning mras?
Very nice, very nice review indeed. May I have my classes read it as part of an assignment?
Excellent article, David.
Interesting review, particularly what you say at the end at how many of these men are in the STEM fields which are less affected by what’s happening economically. I’d come to believe that the rise in hate was linked to economic decline, but you’re making me rethink. Could it be that the personalities attracted to tech and some fields of science tend to be introverted? I’ve seen a lot of men in these sites say they’ve got the INTJ Myers-Brigg type – the type of personality least comfortable with other people (if you believe the MB scale). Maybe it’s their lack of romantic success with women that’s driving the rage?
Well-written review; seems more informative than the book itself! Great job.
I’d these guys lack romantic success, I think it just adds to the rage rather than being the root cause. The root cause is that they aren’t socially and legally sanctioned in dominating the women and girls in their lives the way they used to be.
bodycrimes: I think part of it is in the typical male Nerd’s sense of perceived immunity. There’s this cultural sense that the people who REALLY treat women badly, who have dumb opinions, who aren’t in touch with their feelings, etc., are the JOCKS. So if you’re a nerd, how can anything you do be anything but good?
The other thing is the insecure need to assert your idea of traditional masculinity while living a life where that doesn’t apply at all.
Finally, the internet echo chamber of this kind of attitude perpetuates it.
A practitioner of the Tao of the Tantrum is already in the comments over there. Seems World Toilet Day did not go over well with him.
Thanks, everyone!
Bonelady, of course you can use the piece in class!
It’s not just the internet: plenty of books, games, movies and TV shows perpetuate a lot of that entitlement. Women in media are often shallow cliches of femininity and conform to the narrow hollywood standards of beauty. The outcast hero gets the girl, often by virtue of deeds, rather than interpersonal interaction. It’s pretty toxic.
I just raised the ire of a pack of fauxgressives at Raw Story for daring to point out that Joe Rogan’s use of the term “weak-ass bitches” to describe people who are against same-sex marriage just proves that even when he’s on the right side, he’s an asshole. The idea that the absolute worst insult you can give a man is to call him a woman is incredibly misogynistic.
Never had a comment receive that many replies and downvotes on that website, wow. This is why I’ve started posting under a completely separate pseudonym on feminist websites. Angry, vindictive men.
Rogan has a history of misogyny. Listen to ten minutes of his show, and he’ll call women “whores” and bitches” multiple times. I used to listen to his podcast because he had interesting guests, but like Adam Carolla, he’s such a raging asshole I just couldn’t stomach it anymore. Only one guest EVER challenged him on his casual misogyny, and that was Hal Sparks. That guy is a badass and I love him.
Also, regarding the STEM discussion — just saw a post on Buzzfeed the other day that said when you ask Siri what political party she belongs to, she says “libertarian.”
Wait, you mean the same doods who originally programmed her to know how to get blow jobs and happy ending massages but NOT how to find a women’s health clinic or birth control are libertarians? Color me SHOCKED.
One thing that struck me while reading it, is that the reason they blame women and other races rather than the ultra-rich is because they’ve bought into the narrative of the ultra rich, the belief that hard work+determination=success.
The civil rights narrative recognizes that as bullshit; luck, class, discrimination and privilege all matter, and the deck is stacked against them. That idea that you have an advantage over others and still fail is rough on the ego, especially those who believe themselves to be unrecognized geniuses to begin with. It also means that the dreams they have of becoming the ultra-rich are not only impossible, but a lousy thing to actually wish for, since that sort of massive wealth inequality is incompatible with a just society.
If the system is stacked against you either way, then the lie that we can all someday be as rich as the Waltons is easier to swallow than the truth that we might not be as good as we think we are.
That said, I agree with the abuse narrative you point out with the MRA movement.
Not that MRAs give a shit for a just or equal society. The opposite, in fact.
This is a really good review — I mean, I can’t really speak to it as a review, since I haven’t read Kimmel’s book, so really I should just say it’s a really good piece on its own.
I think I saw something about how the job prospects for more recent STEM graduates aren’t actually as good as they’ve been previously; will see if I can dig that up. Not that it’s central to anything, but if I’m remembering correctly it’s an interesting wrinkle.
I do think that frustration with their relationships with women not working out is what leads a lot of men to the MRM, but the thing is, if they weren’t already deeply misogynistic they wouldn’t buy the narrative that the MRM is selling. So in a way the MRM is capitalizing on their unhappiness, but otoh their willingness to blame all women for that unhappiness and their refusal to look inwards for a solution speaks volumes about what kind of people they are.
Now I don’t feel such a pressing need to read the book (which I’d requested through interlibrary loan). Very informative review, David; however, I’m still skeptical about the STEM backgrounds you attribute to many of these MRM followers. They certainly hold such fields in high esteem, but I rarely get the impression that they themselves are working in high tech professions themselves. The impression I get from the comments I read (and I concede I have read very little compared to you) is that most of guys are not well educated at all. I have assumed most of them are working in rather low level service jobs. Even Matt Forney, who has some college, has always worked in unskilled labor jobs. I cannot escape the impression that many of them are marginally or under employed, if for no other reason than they have a lot of time on their hands to read and ruminate on these blogs.
I liked the review. I’m tempted to pick up the book itself at some point (sounds like it has its shortcomings, but I’m lacking a good read at the moment).
But holy fucking shit, the wackos sure came out of the woodwork in the comments over where you had it posted.
I really liked that angry asshole who felt the need to link a pastebin of their response after it was moderated out. Just amazing…
I especially liked where he claimed that the quotes were cherry-picked, then he provided the greater context, which only served to make Elam look like even more of an angry douchebag.
The Way of the Tantrum: Volume 1 in the Warlike Couch Potato series! Sure to be a smash hit with aggrieved misogynists everywhere.
Great article, too!
I have another theory behind MRA anger, although I doubt it applies to all of them.
I mentioned I had a friend who’s deep in the manosphere. Before that, he was constantly complaining to us about his horrible boss and terrible job. It was stressing him out and making him extremely angry. We all begged him to find another job, but to this day he’s still working that terrible job with his terrible boss.
During this time he got into the manosphere, and his anger grew from just “I hate my boss” and “I hate the people I work with,” to “I HATE FEMINISTS!”
So I can’t help but think that he’s taking his anger and throw it at someone else, simply because he can’t throw it at those he considers “deserving.”
That’s especially apparent in the PUA types…they think that with enough “game”, you can lay any woman, even ones who will never have the slightest interest in your schlong. And then you get ones like that “rape game” dude. Yeah, I guess if you go so far in your “game” as to rape her, then you technically get what you’re after all right, but like the guy who games Wall Street in the name of capitalist success, you’re also a criminal who risks jail time. The sociopathic ethos is the same in both cases.
Bina – just what I thought, it’s exactly the PUA attitude.
Rageboners, that’s it with most of these guys – no less the Men Allegedly Going Their Own Way If Only They Would than the ones saying upfront they’re out to rape women.