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Dalrock on why men should avoid women who’ve wasted “a lot of courtship” and “used up their most attractive/fertile years.”

Woman with surplus courtship
Woman with surplus courtship

Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.

Here are a few of them:

Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP).  This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.

Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.

As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process.  However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.

Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.

But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!

Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.

He needs to manage risk vs reward.  When courting, there are two fundamental risks.  These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.

So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!

For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important.  The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.

Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.

Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.

This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”

And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”

That Churchill, what a card!

Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married;  unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.

Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)

They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …

Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma;  older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.

Well, you could always marry a dude.

There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.

Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”

The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.

Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?

Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.

But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage.  For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.

That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?

As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:

fig_19_series_23_no_22_p_27

But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).

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cloudiah
11 years ago

I hate mushrooms qua mushrooms, but can handle them pureed into soups or into mushroom/nut loaf. It’s a texture thing, not a flavor thing. Same for you, Argenti, or do you hate them 100%?

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

Argenti – Wait, but Fungi is its own kingdom. Plantae =! Fungi.

kittehserf
11 years ago

I like mushrooms … mushroom soup, mushrooms cooked in butter, grilled Portobello mushrooms …

Yes all right, I have hairy feet too, I am a hobbit!

cloudiah
11 years ago

I love the flavor of mushrooms, but hate that slimy texture. (That I know mushroom lovers will say is not slimy, but they’re FUNGI, I mean come on.)

LOL

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

Mushrooms are good on pizza. And maybe in a salad. That’s it.

kittehserf
11 years ago

It is a strange texture! I think of it like meat without any grain, if that makes any sense.

Oysters, mussels etc. fit the “slimy” bill for me. Don’t like them at all. The couple of times I’ve tasted lobster or crab, I’ve thought “What’s the fuss about?”

kittehserf
11 years ago

Mushrooms sauteed in garlic butter, with bacon and eggs and sausages and toast … I’m nearly drooling remembering that breakfast.

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

I HATE clams and can’t really eat them; the thought of it makes me gag. By extension, I can’t eat oysters and mussels either. Shrimp I’m fine with. And scallops i think are okay (at least the dried ones). Everything else? No.

I don’t get the obsession with lobster either. *shrug*

kittehserf
11 years ago

I don’t get the obsession with bacon. I mean yeah, it’s nice on occasion and I eat it a lot at Home (well Katie would have something to say if I didn’t) but this whole thing like it’s the king of food … wut?

I don’t really want to expand the meats I eat anyway. I eat beef, lamb, chicken and the occasional bit of ham/bacon, and fish, and I think that’s quite enough.

PS anyone thinking of trying kangaroo, please don’t. They’re wild animals and the hunting is brutal; you don’t want to know how the joeys are killed.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

I can read, I swear! I missed the “exclude” part, so I’m good. Mostly, depending which definition of green algae you use, hate dealing with that stuff!

As for if I can stand them in general. No. I used to be willing to powder them and put them in spiced tea for the sole purpose of consuming hallucinogens, but ‘shrooms are the source of my only bad trip and thus no longer worth the taste and risk of vomit (vomiting while tripping is like three layers of horrible)

kittehserf
11 years ago

Ewww!

Ally S
11 years ago

I don’t eat bacon or anything with pork in it. Even though I no longer follow Islamic dietary rules, I can’t bring myself to eat pork unless it’s in the form of some kind of derivative product like gelatin. It just feels weird eating the actual meat.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I actually like crab more than lobster. Less fatty, but similar taste. Harder to eat, though.

Bacon I like best as a seasoning, like pancetta as the base for a sauce or stew, or string beans stir fried with just enough Chinese bacon to add saltiness and flavor. Bacon cupcakes etc, no thanks.

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

Mushrooms bacon lobster oysters ham scallops….drool…..

I like food. Period. And now I’m getting hungry. Damn.

How’s this for gross: My grandma always cooks her green beans in some bacon and bacon grease. Oh my, is that delicious! But yeah, take a perfectly healthy vegetable and drown it in fat.

And, eating kangaroos? Not kangaroos!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Greens + bacon is actually super tasty! I’m not seeing why you need the grease in addition to the bacon itself, though.

Brooked
Brooked
11 years ago

@Sparky

Bad Bets for Courtship: Country blues. Their greatest hit: “Wasting Resources on the Wrong Women.”
Early Thirties White Women: All-female garage rock band. Their greatest hit: “Not Seriously Looking for a Husband (We Just Wanna Rock)”

You really hit it out of the park with these, I believe thee found thy muse, named Thalia Dalrock.

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

CassandraSays: Well, you cook the green beans slowly, for a long time (either in a crockpot or a low simmer on the stove) so the green beans absorb the bacon grease. She also threw in a splash of vinegar and little sugar (’cause, yeah, if we’re going to add fat to perfectly healthy vegetables, we might as well throw in some sugar). Then you can sop up the drippings with a roll or cornbread. This also works well for turnip greens and collard greens. Good ol’ down home cooking. Not to be eaten regularly if you value your arteries.

Brooked: Dalrock is my muse! Eeek! 🙂

Brooked
Brooked
11 years ago

Frog went a-courtin’ and he did ride
Frog went a-courtin’ and he did ride
Frog went a-courtin’ and he did ride
With a sword and a pistol by his side

Well he rode right up to Miss Mousey’s door
Well he rode right up to Miss Mousey’s door
Well he rode right up to Miss Mousey’s door
Gave three loud raps and a very big roar

Said, “Miss Mouse, are you within?”
Said he, “Miss Mouse, are you within?”
Said, “Miss Mouse, are you within?”
“Yes, kind sir, I sit and spin”

He took Miss Mousey on his knee
Took Miss Mousey on his knee
Took Miss Mousey on his knee
Said, “Miss Mousey, half of all late twenties White women have never married, which means five years ago 50% of early twenties White women were a complete and total waste of traditional courtship risk and resources. Given the direction of the trends over the last five years, the risk is even higher today.”

Angela Jones-Parker
Angela Jones-Parker
11 years ago

I went and waded through the morass of Dalrock’s other posts. . .it was sadness with a side of increduality. This dude plays buzzword bingo with economic concepts and whines about women. Is he. . 21. . .or something in uni? So much. . .fail!

Snork Maiden
11 years ago

Hmm, I wonder if there’s any connection between these guys’ attitudes towards women and their inability to have a functional relationship with one?

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
11 years ago

I’m sure this has already been said, but it always amuses me that the same guys who rant and rave about women “stealing sperm” and “tricking” men into fathering children are also so seriously obsessed with the fertility/genetic prospects of women. It’s ALMOST as if it’s all a bunch of bullshit rationalization for them to use “SCIENCE” to justify why they creepily go after 14 year old girls.

Seranvali
Seranvali
11 years ago

It really irritates me that these people thinks relationships entirely in terms of economics and with men always losing out in terms of how much they spend “courting” when most people don’t even conceive of it that way. Most feminists, however, are aware of this and want to pay thier own way because they’re afraid that they may be expected to pay for their meal by having sex with someone they don’t like. Many of us are wary of accepting gifts or favours of any kind for the same reason.

Don’t people ever just fall in love with a friend who’s company they enjoy and just take it from there without all the manipulative bullshit? It makes me feel sad for anyone who finds themselves interacting with these men in even the most cursory ways.

Bina
11 years ago

“Miss Mousey, half of all late twenties White women have never married, which means five years ago 50% of early twenties White women were a complete and total waste of traditional courtship risk and resources. Given the direction of the trends over the last five years, the risk is even higher today.”

D’OHH MY GAWWWWD I’M DYYYYYYYING!!!

(collapses in gigglefit)

Ahem. Sorry. Where was I again? Oh yeah…MISAAAAANDRYYYY!!!

Bina
11 years ago

On a more serious note, I just had a creeperriffic thought: What if Dal-no-you-don’t-rock is one of those homeschoolin’ fundie types, the kind who think kids shouldn’t date but have religiously-twisted, parentally-approved “courtships” aimed at marrying daughters off as young as possible? Doesn’t that just add a whole ‘nother level of squick to this already very squicky screed?

Galunadi
Galunadi
11 years ago

Bina, that would add another layer and a half

Ewwww

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