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Dalrock on why men should avoid women who’ve wasted “a lot of courtship” and “used up their most attractive/fertile years.”

Woman with surplus courtship
Woman with surplus courtship

Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.

Here are a few of them:

Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP).  This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.

Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.

As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process.  However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.

Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.

But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!

Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.

He needs to manage risk vs reward.  When courting, there are two fundamental risks.  These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.

So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!

For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important.  The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.

Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.

Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.

This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”

And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”

That Churchill, what a card!

Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married;  unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.

Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)

They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …

Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma;  older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.

Well, you could always marry a dude.

There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.

Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”

The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.

Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?

Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.

But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage.  For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.

That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?

As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:

fig_19_series_23_no_22_p_27

But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).

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kittehserf
10 years ago

hellkell – yeah, you’d think a bigshot lawyer in LA would set his sights a bit higher than Charlotte, NC, if he’s showing off to his girlfriend.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Sparky, that’s what I mean – did she have actual proof he was, or was he bullshitting about that, too? David made it pretty clear he was lying about DIRECTLY ON THE BEACH.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Kittehs: it really is the only truly funny thing he’s gone on about. I have family in Charlotte and spent a few summers there in my youth, and high class destination it ain’t.

Kim
Kim
10 years ago

Actually David said he could well live on the beach, just not in the LA metro area.

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

kitteh: I don’t remember. I think she just said he was a lawyer, that that part was true.

Kim
Kim
10 years ago

Kittehs: it really is the only truly funny thing he’s gone on about. I have family in Charlotte and spent a few summers there in my youth, and high class destination it ain’t.

Maybe he didn’t really go there, but thought it sounded like the kind of place you get called Terrific and Some Pig. Charlotte was a pretty classy lady/spider.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

The LA metro area is huge. What David meant is that he’s not in LA proper on the beach.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Maybe he didn’t really go there, but thought it sounded like the kind of place you get called Terrific and Some Pig. Charlotte was a pretty classy lady/spider.

HA! Mikey doesn’t need a spider to hear that he’s some terrific pig.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Kim – LOL! I’d sooner have Charlotte (or Wilbur) as a friend or a lawyer than ol’ Mikey.

cloudiah
10 years ago

I missed the whole Qwerty thing, and since it was deleted I suppose I will never really understand what happened there. But I gather poor Qwerty had somehow gotten involved with this chucklefuck, and had a sudden realization about how chucklefuck-y he is.

I hope she’s okay.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Pretty much, cloudiah. Iirc, she’s the girlfriend he ranted about, and she told us about what nasty mind games he plays.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
10 years ago

Yeah, you have a bunch of choices for beach living in LA County, but none of them are “Los Angeles” and you usually get people being cagey about it because they want you to think that they are in Malibu (where all the super-rich have single families with private beaches) instead of a low-rise tower in Marina Del Rey or a dingbat in Santa Monica.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Ah, Santa Monica, where Bette Midler kicked Danny de Vito off the pier … 🙂

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

HE’S BAAAAAAAACK! (Hopefully because Qwerty dumped his ass.) And I’m kinda boggled how he seems to want us to be impressed by… his having lots of money, prestige, and a pretty girlfriend. Which we can’t prove, so why should we CARE?

I mean, I’m a brokeass lunatic who lives in Ohio, and I work as an artist, and people don’t seem to care much. (Not anyone I’d want to associate with, anyway.) So who cares?

This will be by final post on this man hating website.

Suuuuuure, Mikey. We believe ya. Because David banned your ass, but I’m sure there’s going to be more attempted returns.

Afterwards I have agreed with my girlfriend I will no longer post on these sites as it is doing me no good and is a non-productive waste of my time

And yet, here you are.

Enjoy your SPINSTERHOOD and denial ladies.

Thanks! I’ll do that! *is actually a married guy, but there’s no reason for you to believe me*

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

I can honestly say I’d rather stay in hostel in NYC than what passes for a penthouse in Charlotte.

I’d rather stay under a rock than a palace that has Mikey in it.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

But really, good to see our old friend hasn’t changed.

To be honest, I got maybe unusually worried about Qwerty. I liked her and I really hope she is staying far away from him.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
10 years ago

Although, are we missing the key point here? Did Mikey just admit that he lets his girlfriend decide whether or not he’s allowed to post online and which sites he posts to? That’s not so ‘alpha’, Mikey!

kittehserf
10 years ago

Grumpycat – at least a palace worthy of the name would be big enough to be able to avoid him.

Especially if he was, as I suspect, confined to the kitchens or stables.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

“claiming I was some unattractive low income loser troll in my mother’s basement.”

Just curious, did anyone actually claim this? I don’t think any of us breathed a word about his mother’s basement, did we?

So . . . hmm m m. I think there he goes with the lying again.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

And yeah, dude, you are unattractive. Regardless of whatever you look like.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

I never thought Mikey was an unattractive low-income loser in his mother’s basement. He was totally a troll, though, and an incredibly unpleasant person I’d never want to have a beer with.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
10 years ago

Mikey’s like OKCupid liar dude, posting just enough vague statements (living in an apartment on the beach, look how at my really high income) to make it sound like he’s one thing, but the reality is somewhat different (doesn’t own apartment).

I don’t give a shite about material things, except when the other person is trying to emphasize how great they are because of all their material stuff, and then it transpires they don’t have everything they were making out they had.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

I hope Qwerty has left him, he doesn’t want her in anything other than a trophy way. 🙁

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

David wrote:

that he does indeed have a thin girlfriend in her 30s who (from all indications) could do a LOT better than him

No, she’s in her 20s. God forbid Michael date a woman in her THIRTIES – that’s past the expiration date. You are a horrible misandrist for even typing that.

katz
10 years ago

I’m disappointed he isn’t a lair. I hoped he had lions in him.

kittehserf
10 years ago

I’d bet we sniped that he’s a basement-dwelling troll, but I don’t recall specifics.

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