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Dalrock on why men should avoid women who’ve wasted “a lot of courtship” and “used up their most attractive/fertile years.”

Woman with surplus courtship
Woman with surplus courtship

Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.

Here are a few of them:

Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP).  This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.

Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.

As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process.  However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.

Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.

But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!

Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.

He needs to manage risk vs reward.  When courting, there are two fundamental risks.  These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.

So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!

For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important.  The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.

Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.

Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.

This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”

And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”

That Churchill, what a card!

Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married;  unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.

Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)

They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …

Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma;  older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.

Well, you could always marry a dude.

There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.

Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”

The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.

Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?

Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.

But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage.  For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.

That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?

As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:

fig_19_series_23_no_22_p_27

But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).

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Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

thebewilderness – MISRADICI!

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

Tuber’s rights?

kittehserf
11 years ago

Don’t mention roots’ rights, that goes straight back to the MRM.

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

Botanist counter-theory in a world of misvirgae.

The opposite of misvirgae is misradici.

A Voice for Sprouts fights against misvirgae. It’s owned by one Parvus Folium.

kittehserf
11 years ago

You go on making puns like that and Ceiling Cat will revoke your halo licence!

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

Uh oh. *scampers to play with a ball*

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

Well, I have to say, as a MGHOW (Meat-eater Going Her Own Way), I am in complete support of the Sprouts Rights Movement.

La Strega
11 years ago

What I want to know is, what does Mrs. Dalrock say?

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Katz — yes! Thank you!

wooster87
11 years ago

Reblogged this on woosterlang87.

Lady Mondegreen
Lady Mondegreen
11 years ago

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

I think it really baffles and enrages MRAs that women are also buyers as well as sellers. In classical economics, commodities aren’t supposed to talk back, have preferences, or reject the seller

lol

tedthefed:

The most charitable interpretation I can think of is that they’re terrified of rejection because it hurts, but things hurting isn’t a masculine reason to care about something and it doesn’t feel IMPORTANT enough, and so they construct this whole system about why getting rejected is logically bad

Yeah, I think that’s part of it. Fear of rejection makes anyone vulnerable, but manly dudebros aren’t supposed to feel vulnerable because it’s unmanly. So they construct this absurd, abstract-sounding, theoretical whargarbl to reassure themselves that MEN MUST BE IN CHARGE, and when they’re not, well, that’s, if not unpossible, deeply Wrong. Must be misandry.

Bina
11 years ago

How nice to see that all the mortal dread I had of creepy, controlling older men when I was a PYT was not unfounded. Shudder.

I guess it must really throw their little “mating” theories into disarray if I were to say that I’m SO glad to be past the age at which they would find me maximally attractive. But y’know what? It’s TRUE. Having to fend off creeps gets really tiresome. And being taken seriously as a human being (which starts to happen more and more after 30) is kind of nice. Hell, being single still after 40 isn’t bad at all. Especially when I look around and see all these bullets I dodged. Brrrrrr.

Galunadi
Galunadi
11 years ago

“What I want to know is, what does Mrs. Dalrock say?”
Probably whatever Dalrock wants her to say (as I’m pretty sure she doesn’t exist outside of his own mind)

cloudiah
11 years ago

I guess it must really throw their little “mating” theories into disarray if I were to say that I’m SO glad to be past the age at which they would find me maximally attractive.

Me too. I was so glad when I became invisible, around my mid-30s.

La Strega
11 years ago

Yes, what bina said (above).

Bina
11 years ago

I can’t help chuckling at how they seem to think that marriageable men are some kind of scarce commodity (!), and that women need to leap and dive at every available one as if there were a horde of screeching vandalesses after that same dude. There are more than seven billion people on the planet, and roughly half of those are male. I’d say the problem is not a lack of suitable suitors, but a surfeit of unsuitables to be weeded out. (In doing so, however, I’d risk the possibility that I’m inadvertently confirming the “nightmare” scenario that Dal-no-you-don’t-rock lays out above, where every young, attractive woman is a diamond-digging Marilyn.)

Shorter: Oh, how I love being Sexually Invisible to these bozos.

kittehserf
11 years ago

“What I want to know is, what does Mrs. Dalrock say?”
Probably whatever Dalrock wants her to say (as I’m pretty sure she doesn’t exist outside of his own mind)

Dammit Galunadi, I was enjoying that tea!

I’d say the problem is not a lack of suitable suitors, but a surfeit of unsuitables to be weeded out. (In doing so, however, I’d risk the possibility that I’m inadvertently confirming the “nightmare” scenario that Dal-no-you-don’t-rock lays out above, where every young, attractive woman is a diamond-digging Marilyn.)

Ah, but it’s not weeding out* on the basis of their earnings; it’s putting a great big red PERSONALITY FAIL on the creeps, the selfish, the entitled, the abusive …

*weeding out is misplantry!

Gizwardo
Gizwardo
11 years ago

What… is marriage to these people? Like… why is that even their goal. Isn’t marriage mysandry because it leads to women being able to get half? Or something else equally inane?

Bina
11 years ago

Ah, but it’s not weeding out* on the basis of their earnings; it’s putting a great big red PERSONALITY FAIL on the creeps, the selfish, the entitled, the abusive …

Bingo! Add to that the hideous, the douchey, the stupid, the willfully ignorant, the ones who think that every woman has her price and can be bought by anyone if he ponies up enough, the users, the bums, the spongers…I could go on and on…but that would be misplantry! After all, if it has two tubers, it must never be yoinked out, amirite?

kittehserf
11 years ago

After all, if it has two tubers, it must never be yoinked out, amirite?

::looks sadly at remains of second cup::

Bina
11 years ago

What… is marriage to these people? Like… why is that even their goal. Isn’t marriage mysandry because it leads to women being able to get half? Or something else equally inane?

No, they’re operating by the OLD definition of marriage. The one where a guy offers cattle to her father so she’ll be chattel to HIM. Of course, to get there, they first have to undo decades worth of divorce reform, not to mention totally rescinding female personhood. Hence the raving hatred for all things feminist. They know damn well who made it impossible for them to realize their dream of lordship and mastery at home. Damn us, how dare we insist that women are fully human beings???

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

Bina – YOU DARE SUGGEST THAT WE CASTRATE TUBERS??!!?!11!?

MISPLANTRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!11!!!

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Are we including mangoes as a plant? Fruit trees are plants…

Pecunium, you practice misplantry, telling the poor oppressed mango that it smells nasty *shakes head* how dare you?!

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

Argenti – if it’s in the kingdom Plantae, it’s a plant. *nod*

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Oh. That includes fungus. That makes me worse than him as he’ll eat other fruit (even has a couple fruit trees), but I absolutely despise mushrooms et al.

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