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Dalrock on why men should avoid women who’ve wasted “a lot of courtship” and “used up their most attractive/fertile years.”

Woman with surplus courtship
Woman with surplus courtship

Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.

Here are a few of them:

Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP).  This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.

Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.

As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process.  However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.

Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.

But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!

Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.

He needs to manage risk vs reward.  When courting, there are two fundamental risks.  These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.

So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!

For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important.  The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.

Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.

Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.

This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”

And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”

That Churchill, what a card!

Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married;  unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.

Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)

They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …

Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma;  older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.

Well, you could always marry a dude.

There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.

Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”

The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.

Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?

Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.

But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage.  For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.

That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?

As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:

fig_19_series_23_no_22_p_27

But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).

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Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

I want to hear about what would make Michael such a fantastic husband. What would a day in the life of your wife look like, Mike?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Heh, I called him as a sub in denial pages back.

Robert Ramirez
10 years ago

So what does a domme specializing in “feminist abuse” actually do? Read to you from Sisterhood is Powerful while you are tied down?

I want to know.

Kim
Kim
10 years ago

Because mine was a big shepherd/husky cross who looked like the love child of a timber wolf and a grizzly bear. Looked fierce, but was a total suck. The only males who came near me when I walked him were little kids, who all wanted to hug my “doggie”. They weren’t fooled. Grown men, on the other hand, just passed me with a nervously respectful hello and a wide berth around the dog

My dog is the exact opposite. He looks like a little angel, and people always want to pat him. But he hates people touching him, and often barks at strangers. At least he would rather skitter away from people than bite them.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

I think she probably calls you a creep and threatens to divorce you.

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

So what does a domme specializing in “feminist abuse” actually do? Read to you from Sisterhood is Powerful while you are tied down?

I want to know.

I’m sure Mikey could answer that question.

Bina
Bina
10 years ago

So what does a domme specializing in “feminist abuse” actually do? Read to you from Sisterhood is Powerful while you are tied down?

I want to know.

Whips you with the works of Dworkin and McKinnon, I imagine. I dunno, I’m so unkinky myself, it’s kind of hard to visualize.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

In Mikey’s case she’d definitely need to berate him about how poor he is.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Uh…make you ask for what you want in triplicate and signed consent forms? I mean, that’s how MRAs think we want consent to go right? And this masochist thinks it’d be torture (now, having to ask Very Very Nicely, with the knowledge that I’ll get what I want in the end…well, anticipation is a wonderful thing)

But I’m thinking instead of asking Very Very Nicely feminist abuse would be demanding the same information over and over again, getting explicit details of exactly what will occur, signed in triplicate, including fine print about spermjacking and child support. Maybe some clicking high heels just for Owly.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Weirdly, I’ve discovered that a lot of assholes are happy to come to my blog of their own free will and make themselves look like idiots, basically doing my job for me.

::has image of David sitting back eating popcorn while watching the drama comedy unfold::

Say, the cursor’s disappeared from the text box here – anyone else had that happen?

Robert Ramirez
10 years ago

“Say, the cursor’s disappeared from the text box here – anyone else had that happen?”

That and Shockwave crashed a few times when trying to access this site. So it isn’t you.

Michael
Michael
10 years ago

All of you are full of name calling and insults but it is you who are truly the stupid ones.

Thousands of men are swallowing the red pill and there is nothing you can do about it.

It must be so sad for you, over 30, past or passing your expiration date, unmarried, entitled and living in denial, with quality men your own age who were easily accessible to you in your 20s now passing you up for younger women (match.com statistics) because they want a young wife and not the 30+ year old whore everyone else spent over a decade sampling from.

vaiyt
vaiyt
10 years ago

“Uh…make you ask for what you want in triplicate and signed consent forms”

Wonder if that’s a thunderf00t reference. I remember him using these exact words during his first meltdown.

vaiyt
vaiyt
10 years ago

Er, ignore that, I thought Argenti was referencing another post and got too lazy to check three pages of unread comments.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

What on earth kind of point was that story about Howard Stern supposed to make?

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Vaiyt — wasn’t a direct reference, but I’m (probably obviously) not surprised that 1+ MRAs have said that.

Lol, I’d even draw a map, it may help. Though I suppose going “here’s Grey’s Anatomy, study this page, you’ll need to know where my muscles are” (far safer than uh, “involving” bone). Safety lesson, when beating people with feminist books, don’t hit the torso, the lack of bone to protect the organs is bad. Taking a hard book to his backside is perfectly acceptable feminist abuse though.

Oh and never stick anything up your butt that doesn’t have a base wider than it — anatomy lesson made short, you don’t want to lose your toy and need it removed. (Also, because I’m me and cannot provide sex tips without the mention of condoms, use them on shared toys and toys that go in both vaginas and anuses, and cleaning after use is advised)

kittehserf
10 years ago

LOL he’s still trying the same line.

Mikey, you’re priceless. What part of

1) some of us are married and happy
2) others of us are partnered and happy and
3) some of us are single and happy

don’t you understand?

But then, it’s happiness you don’t understand, isn’t it?

BTW humans don’t have a “use by date”. Or do you think all the people in their fifties, sixties, seventies who get married are imaginary?

Have you any conception of what love is? I’m almost asking this seriously. Only almost, because you haven’t a sensible answer to give, and it is fun poking you. You’re the funniest troll we’ve had in ages.

Michael
Michael
10 years ago

@ David Futile

I just saw it linked from the Reddit Red Pill page. Dammit. It’s been there for years. I spend all my time on Dalrock becuase it has a heavy Christian element (even a church is no escape from the evil of Feminist fallout anymore). Dalrock tends to be articulate, intelligent and backs his articles up with graphs and statistics. The other sites seem to be low class, crass, rude, mysoginist etc.

Im not sure I want my story linked from Reddit Red Pill page. Thousands of me. Visit that page everyday. That means thousands of people have read it without my permission.

cupisnique
10 years ago

Michael, you just keep spouting that same line over, and over, and over ad nauseam. No one cares whether anyone here is over 30 and no one cares the age of the person they are in a relationship with. If you only want to date women in their 20s no one is here to stop you we really don’t care.

It is just seriously sad that you think women become suddenly useless past 30. It suggests you do not think of them as people but as sexual objects and/or baby makers. If that’s how you think I feel sorry for you and any woman that dates you, marries you, or has children with you. You’re missing out on an actual connection with another human being.

cupisnique
10 years ago

“@ David Futile” oh ahaha I see what you did there, aren’t you a clever one /sarcasm

Brooked
Brooked
10 years ago

I can’t tell if this is above average trolling or if Michael genuinely feels like Dalrock’s Christian-based charts and graphs have been soiled by the Reddit Red Pill. It’s all very meta.

vaiyt
vaiyt
10 years ago

Michael, if you want to play, stick to one act. You can’t be the eternally scorned guy-next-door ignored by women in favor of superficially pretty but ultimately unfulfilling partners one moment, and the handsome, wealthy and sucessful self-made Manly Alpha Man who scoffs at older women’s attempts to seduce you because you can attract all the nubile nymphs you want with your bank account and beach house.

vaiyt
vaiyt
10 years ago

in the next.

Robert Ramirez
10 years ago

“Follow your grandmothers advice. All you need to do is find a man who is a good person. Moral. Attractive. Kind. Responsible. A good father husband material. A nice guy. Invest your youth in the person and try to make the best choice you can make. If you throw away your chips on players, fun guys, party guys

What the fuck do these people have against the Sexy Buff Party Guys?

Wetherby
Wetherby
10 years ago

This thread is just blissful. I really thought our trolls had been going off the boil since the glory days of Meller, Owly and MRAL, but Mikey has restored my faith. The block-capped “SPINSTER” alone is a work of genius to rank alongside Tom Martin’s penguin-whores.

Incidentally, I just got my income tax demand for 2012-13, which equates to roughly US$20 in total at the current exchange rate. For I am – gasp! – another of those “low-income” people that Mikey seems to regard with such palpable horror.

And yet strangely this doesn’t seem to affect my marriage at all. We both make enough to feed ourselves, heat our house (the one that’s genuinely near the beach), pay the bills and go out once in a while, so we don’t have any financial worries. We both have jobs that we enjoy, which not only compensates for their comparatively low salaries but means that we don’t stomp home in a foul mood which we then take out on everyone else.

And what we also do is laugh. A lot. And often completely out of the blue – last night we were watching the news, and my wife spotted something that could be repurposed as a grotesquely sexual innuendo with only the tiniest bit of out-of-context extraction, pointed this out to me, and we were rolling about on the sofa.

Which is why Mikey’s insults just don’t work. We’re the happy ones. He’s the miserable one. And we’re happy because we didn’t draw up ridiculous strictures about optimum age, weight and income in advance, we don’t spout absurd and demonstrably inaccurate generalizations about the behavior of entire genders, we don’t publicly (???!?) fantasize about slicing people to bits if they look at us the wrong way, and neither are we under the impression that boasting about one’s income and beachfront house makes one more attractive. Or even the slightest bit attractive. Especially not when it’s combined with a personality so palpably toxic that I’m surprised Mikey hasn’t been ordered to wear a radioactive warning symbol when he goes out in public. (Not that that would be necessary.)

I’m loath to make sweeping predictions, but I’m pretty confident about this one: for as long as Mikey fails to recognize just why everyone’s pointing and laughing at him in this discussion, and why each successive post makes him seem even more clueless, his chances of being able to maintain a stable, loving relationship with an actual flesh-and-blood woman are pretty close to zero. And that’s regardless of the fact that he’s actively skewing the odds towards failure by explicitly demanding a big age gap and a wife from a different culture.

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