Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.
Here are a few of them:
Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP). This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.
Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.
As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process. However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.
Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.
But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!
Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.
He needs to manage risk vs reward. When courting, there are two fundamental risks. These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.
So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!
For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important. The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.
Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.
Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.
This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”
And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”
That Churchill, what a card!
Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married; unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.
Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)
They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …
Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma; older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.
Well, you could always marry a dude.
There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.
Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”
The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.
Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?
Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.
But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage. For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.
That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?
As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:
But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).
Especially when you repeatedly declare those women aren’t worthy of your attention.
Not really sure how “white” is relevant here, unless you confronted a room of 8-10 gorgeous black girls the next day, and a room of 8-10 gorgeous Hispanic girls the day after that. But I bet you didn’t.
So not “girls” at all, then?
And the problem here is what, exactly? I have only the vaguest idea of what my various girlfriends got up to a decade before they met me. I’m sure they’d tell me if I was inclined to ask, but I wasn’t around at the time and it’s absolutely none of my business. Similarly, they never showed much interest in my previous sex life. Why would they?
Again, sounds perfectly normal, and very much the kind of lifestyle trajectory that I can see my daughter adopting – very much with my blessing. Although provided she was happy, I wouldn’t be the least bit fussed if she settled down later – after all, both her parents did.
Ooh, get you, Mr Inquisitor! Did you get out the thumbscrews, or were you worried they might think it was some kind of come-on?
I’d be reluctant to generalize quite that much, but it’s certainly true that the genuinely nice guys (and women) that I know have done pretty well in the long run, at least in terms of achieving personal contentment.
The only problem here is that our Mikey isn’t remotely a nice guy, and so none of that applies to him.
Eat it to what? Eat it to work? Eat it to the shower? Eat it to the library? Oh, you mean too – well, I know plenty of people who’ve managed that particular combo.
WHAT A HEARTLESS BITCH. Still, she’s probably a SPINSTER now, amirite?
Good for them. Because if there’s even the vaguest possibility of them ending up with anyone even the tiniest bit like Mikey, they need to get out and enjoy themselves. Not least because the more they enjoy themselves, the more they’ll realize just how little Mikey’s offering them.
In the unlikely event that Kayleigh exists and one day reads this I have to say…you really dodged a bullet there. Imagine if she had dated this dude? He’d probably still be internet stalking her to this day.
I’ll be chuffed if I ever meet Mr K’s former lovers. Some of ’em I know about, some not, but it’d be cool to get together with people who’ve been part of that pattern of love/friendship/affection over the years.
By enthusiastic mutual consent, my wife and I are still in regular contact with one former partner apiece – there’s not the slightest risk of any extramarital straying (not least for the prosaic reason that there was nowhere near as much sexual chemistry between us and them as there is between the two of us, and in any case he’s very happily married), and they were too close friends to simply ditch after the romantic side fizzled out.
In fact, I get to see a fair bit of him, as he and his wife often come to spend the weekend with us (and vice versa) – what typically happens is that his wife and I tend to turn in early and just leave our spouses to reminisce downstairs for hours on end, and then poke fun at the bags under their eyes the following morning. He’s a really nice guy and terrific company, but I can absolutely see why things never went further – his wife is far more his type.
While I was out walking my dog, I realised why Mikey commented on dog walking as a spinster activity rather than the traditional cat ownership. It’s because sole reason women walk dogs is the same as going to the supermarket – to meet men! It was in a movie once, so it must be true.
Dogs that are owned by women don’t actually need to poop or pee – truefax.
In all seriousness, ever since we got a puppy last year (and he’s still not even one year old yet so still cute as a button), I’ve had spontaneous conversations in public with loads of women and even chat to some of them regularly now. Although in the vast majority of cases they know his name but not mine – in fact, one of them even gave him a Christmas card from her dog the other month.
Incidentally, I took him for a nice long walk on the beach yesterday, because that’s the sort of thing you can do if you live down by the sea. You know, the sort of thing that people who aren’t as rich and successful as Mikey just can’t afford to do.
I had to actually venture to Reddit to see it for myself. Mikey’s a celebrity and hero to men everywhere, thanks to his experience story.
That Confessions of a Reformed Incel story is very, very nasty.
As far as listing maiden names on FB, my ten year reunion just past (I missed the invite, oh well) and it was apparently “friend people you went to school with” week. I got a bunch of friend requests from people I hadn’t spoken to since grade school — maiden names were definitely useful in terms of “ooooh, so I do know you!” (With an ex of my ex-FWB marrying someone absolutely perfect for her, and she’s due soon and I’m thrilled for them)
So yeah, if you’re going by a new name and friending people who knew you by your old name, listing it is helpful to them.
Also, try not to blow the fuse my fish tanks are connected to, the sound of everything going down and then back up at once is quite startling. Though I am glad to know it wakes me up instantly.
Mikey refers to himself as Incel? That explains quite a few things, like the constant rage and overbearing sense of entitlement.
No, the Incel story is not by Mikey. It just appears alongside Mikey’s story on the Reddit sidebar.
Oh ho ho, Mikey the Incel, or even ex-incel? But wait, how could a richbuffhandsomelawyerlivingdirectlyonthebeachandtravellingcoach possibly have been incel, even when he was a spotty frat boy with a permanent scowl, massive entitelment issues and only passing acquaintance with personal hygiene?
Wetherby, your stories made me smile. I had friends years back, who’d had a relationship years before I knew them. She acted as groomsman at his wedding. 🙂
Most of the strangers I talk to are dog-walkers in the park. I love seeing the dogs out playing.
Got any pics of your puppy you’d like to share?
I met an eight-week-old Maltese-Poodle cross the other day. Soft reddish-gold colour, rather like a dark Golden Retriever, sharp little nose and the softest curly fur, and so excited by all these people she was dancing around widdling. So. Much. Cute.
Grumpycat – drat, Mikey as self-proclaimed ex-incel would have been hilarious.
Oh well, he’s hilarious anyway.
Poodle crosses? The former roommate had an intact male cocker spaniel poodle cross, his mother bought him a purebred poodle, female, unspayed to breed with her purebred. Well, guess what happens when you put two intact dogs together? Two little 75% poodle cuties! The one we kept looked like a tiny rottie with a white goatie. Long wavy fur, toy poodle sized, too smart for his own good. (His brother looked very similar, but his fur was more curls and no goatie, and the cockerpoo had been given to the former roommate when its previous human moved, but she called dibs on his first born once she was back where she could have a dog, so all in all, worked out well)
Yeah, adorkable. Even sorta knew how to waltz, I’d dance around in my best attempt at a proper waltz and he’d try and follow my lead — did well enough he never contacted my feet and I din’t much worry about colliding with him.
@ grumpy cat is a girl
“That Confessions of a Reformed Incel story is very, very nasty.”
Very nasty? What do you mean? Are you agreeing with or insulting the author?
That story it’s actually very true. The most telling part of the story is what happens AFTER the Incel takes hard painful steps to reform himself. Steps which go against female & feminist advice.
“Never take advice from a deer on how to hunt”
That’s how women work. Women are paradox’s. They say one thing. They do another.
This is not sexist nor hateful or racist nor any of the other nonsense spewed on this hateful, God awful website.
.. it’s just reality. It is, what it is..
That’s rich, coming from the guy rage-frothing at unmarried women and any woman who happens to be in his vicinity at the grocery store.
So, Mikey, if you know so much about women, why aren’t you married yet?
First off, it’s paradoxes. You’re using the possessive form of an abstract concept. Women do not belong to paradox. Second, and I know this is going to fall on deaf ears, as you’re just not very bright, but, evidence? Pro-tip: random guy’s story on Internet does not qualify as evidence.
Mikey the Semi-Literate Lawyer strikes again!
Must be all that beach sand getting in his ears and messing up his mighty man brain.
He totes went to law school, you guys.
Michael, I for one must say thank you. When my children were little they would argue a point into the ground even if they were wrong and especially if they had to make shit up to support their view. Your posts definitely remind me of times gone past.
So troll on good sir, if nothing else you’ve brought a smile to my face. Mind you I’m sure to dissolve into dust at any moment according to your view of women but I’ll go smiling.
I feel very sorry for the judges who have to listen to his “arguments.”
Michael,
Women are not prey and men are not predators. Women are not paradoxes, we are people. Holy clusterfuck Batman, why is that so hard for you dim little shitcakes to understand? People who desire one another voluntarily seek each other out and get together. If you think of women in the same way a hunter thinks of a deer, you’re a tool.
Is anyone else reminded of the temporal pair of socks from Bravest Warriors? 🙂
Sam-I-Am’s unreasonable toddler analogy works, but only if the toddler is drunk.