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Dalrock on why men should avoid women who’ve wasted “a lot of courtship” and “used up their most attractive/fertile years.”

Woman with surplus courtship
Woman with surplus courtship

Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.

Here are a few of them:

Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP).  This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.

Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.

As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process.  However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.

Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.

But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!

Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.

He needs to manage risk vs reward.  When courting, there are two fundamental risks.  These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.

So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!

For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important.  The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.

Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.

Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.

This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”

And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”

That Churchill, what a card!

Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married;  unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.

Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)

They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …

Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma;  older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.

Well, you could always marry a dude.

There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.

Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”

The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.

Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?

Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.

But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage.  For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.

That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?

As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:

fig_19_series_23_no_22_p_27

But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).

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kittehserf
10 years ago

Impotently could be good, ‘cos of its double meaning. MIkey certainly spends his time impotently screaming here, and that’s got no sexual meaning at all.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

As funny as I’m finding his frustrated shrieking, the way he’s hitting on cupisnique is pretty creepy. She’s going to need a shower to wash off the slime soon.

serrana
serrana
10 years ago

“Supplying Pertinent Information,” so that it becomes Supplying Pertinent Information Never Stops Trolls Spouting Endless Repetitive Screeds.

Bina
10 years ago

Ooooh, has Mikey being doing the Ultimate Test of looking for us on Facebook?

Could be tricky for him since not everyone uses that site.

And those of us that do, are not necessarily posting under our real or full names here, and have also locked down our privacy settings so that some random schmuck can’t actually pull down anything on us that we wouldn’t freely reveal here.

Yup, he’s definitely flailing. He can’t process the non-computing fact that some of us “SPINSTERS” are actually proud of our single blessedness, and wouldn’t trade it for any number of misery boots like him.

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

As funny as I’m finding his frustrated shrieking, the way he’s hitting on cupisnique is pretty creepy. She’s going to need a shower to wash off the slime soon.

It is. As if he couldn’t get anymore transparent.

Sexist, racist, homophobic, angry, miserable, whining, egotistical, whopping sense of entitlement and creepy. What a catch!

Ban-worthy at this point?

eli
eli
10 years ago

ooh! good one, serrana!

kittehserf
10 years ago

That’s it, serrana, perfect!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

My granny would call him an old miseryguts (so would my dad, actually). Wise granny says – avoid men who have nothing good to say about any of the women in their lives.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Especially when those women are imaginary!

My granny would call him an old miseryguts (so would my dad, actually). Wise granny says – avoid men who have nothing good to say about any of the women in their lives.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

It takes a special kind of miserable asshole to pick a fight with his imaginary friends.

kittehserf
10 years ago

So blockquote monster’s learned to stand on its head … interesting. 😛

Myoo
Myoo
10 years ago

Is anyone else getting DK Meller flashbacks from this Michael asshole or is it just me? The sexism, the racism, the constant bragging about himself while showing what an awful person he is at every turn, the fixation on marriage. All he’s missing is the doll collection.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

He’s basically Meller, the under 60 version.

kittehserf
10 years ago

He doesn’t call Meller to mind for me – less of the slimy patronising and outright weird stuff and more of the blatant rage and bleedin’ obvious claims to being Mr Rich Guy.

I think Meller could actually spell and construct sentences, too, couldn’t he?

Bina
10 years ago

I’m afraid to ask who Meller is, but from the general context, I have a fair idea of WHAT he is.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
10 years ago

Bogeyman “proof” of the terrible future for many women re SPINSTERhood: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-single-ladies/308654/

A navel gazing piece that goes on for apparently 5 boring pages (I couldn’t even last to the end of page 2), where she goes off seeking out people using a confirmation basis combined with anecdote method.

Oooooo really scary.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Let’s see, some of Meller’s finest ideas … killing off women except for a select few kept as sex slaves … his fixation on his porcelain doll collection … Basically Gor plus dolls, was Meller. He was a troll here a couple of years back.

Bina
10 years ago

Mikey, before I tear into your recent idiocy, I have a serious question for you: You’re terrified if becoming a SPINSTER yourself, aren’t you? You keep going on and on about how awful being unmarried is. And you keep trying to make yourself look good. You sound really desperate. You’re afraid of ending up alone, aren’t you? Your desperate. And you’re projecting all those feelings of fear and desperation onto random women you pass in the grocery store.

DING DING DING!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!!!

“Supplying Pertinent Information,” so that it becomes Supplying Pertinent Information Never Stops Trolls Spouting Endless Repetitive Screeds.

And another winner! DING DING DING DING!!!

You both get a shiny bronzed troll’s ass trophy. Well done!

Myoo
Myoo
10 years ago

@kittehserf

He doesn’t call Meller to mind for me – less of the slimy patronising and outright weird stuff and more of the blatant rage and bleedin’ obvious claims to being Mr Rich Guy.

I think Meller could actually spell and construct sentences, too, couldn’t he?

Meller did have his ragey outbursts, they were just rarer. I think Michael will turn into Meller when he gets older and Mellows out a bit (sorry).

kittehserf
10 years ago

Gakkk! 😀

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Meller was quite entertaining when he wasn’t telling people that their students deserved to be beaten up or killed. Doll fetishist (Madame Alexander variety, not Real Dolls), racist, fantasist who liked to share details of his imagined utopia, and believer of the idea that modern men are so repulsed by modern women that they’d rather fuck cats and/or Hello Kitty.

I’m not kidding about the last part, he thought we should be jealous of our cats because men found them more sexually appealing than us.

eli
eli
10 years ago

Nah, Bina, you have to see to believe. I don’t have any threads handy. Anyone got any links to Meller? Are there any on the forum? He was kind of a poe white-knighter.

Bina
10 years ago

I’m not kidding about the last part, he thought we should be jealous of our cats because men found them more sexually appealing than us.

>snurk< And what a coinkidink, I find my cats more non-sexually appealing than I do the likes of him. Not ALL men, just creepy assclowns of that stripe.

kittehserf
10 years ago

You have to wonder what sort of blokes Meller hung out with to get these ideas. He wouldn’t have picked up that notion from peering through windows (though I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he is a voyeur).

Brooked
Brooked
10 years ago

@Sparky
Here’s the uninteresting, very long story from the Dalrock post that I called fakey due to it’s stilted dialogue and general oddness. The five women on Facebook are from the “8-10 gorgeous white women” featured in this not gripping tale that you can waste your time reading in it’s entirety.

Like every other aspect of Mikey’s over-sharing, in the end, I really don’t care if it happened or not. It’s just Mikey being Mikey, raging on and on about how women are delusional sluts who are slutting their way to future non-married SPINSTERhood. I’d like to point out that when Mikey looks up five of these shameless party girls on Facebook, he considers the four who are “single” and “in a relationship” as being miserable SPINSTERS, because they aren’t blessed with the “married” status that equals eternal happiness, which is very reasonable and based on how real life works.

If you’re so high on marriage, Mikey, then get married. It’s weird for someone in their mid-30s whose never been married to preach the virtues of early matrimony to strangers on the internet. If all modern American women are unworthy of a quality guy like yourself, then not even the genius of Dalrock’s blog can save us. You’re better off hitting those mail order bride sites and leaving us slutty SPINSTERS be.

That is unless you want us to keep mocking you, in which case you should keep your goofball hysterical posts coming.

One night I had enough. I confronted a room of 8-10 gorgeous white girls. These girls were 18-24 years old. I asked them if they planned to get married. All seemed to say more or less – YES. I asked what their future husband would think about their behavior. I was immediately met with hostility. I was told the future husband would “never know” and “it’s none of his business”. The girls said they knew exactly what they were doing and were planning to “have their fun” (fun= partying, fun=sex, fun=going on spring break etc.) and would “settle down later”. I asked: when are you planning to settle down? They said: “It depends” and “probably around 27, 28” or “maybe sooner it depends”. I really put the girls on the spot. During our exchange they saw I was upset. They told me I should be happy because “nice guys finish first in the end”. I told them you cannot have your cake and eat it to. Then I was told by Kaylene (a young thin super sexy blonde with curves in all the right places (who BTW refused to date me even though we were friends and according to her roommate had sex with almost 30 guys in one semester ) she told me “Michael let me tell you something: not only am I going to have my cake eat it and eat it too. I’m going to have it with ice cream and sprinkles”. All of the girls laughed and smiled in agreement.

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