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Dalrock on why men should avoid women who’ve wasted “a lot of courtship” and “used up their most attractive/fertile years.”

Woman with surplus courtship
Woman with surplus courtship

Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.

Here are a few of them:

Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP).  This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.

Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.

As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process.  However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.

Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.

But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!

Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.

He needs to manage risk vs reward.  When courting, there are two fundamental risks.  These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.

So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!

For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important.  The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.

Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.

Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.

This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”

And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”

That Churchill, what a card!

Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married;  unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.

Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)

They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …

Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma;  older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.

Well, you could always marry a dude.

There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.

Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”

The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.

Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?

Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.

But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage.  For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.

That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?

As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:

fig_19_series_23_no_22_p_27

But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).

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kittehserf
10 years ago

Just as well dogs aren’t allowed in supermarkets, Mikey’s head might explode. 😛

Say, does this mean I hit on all the men in the train this morning? That’s quite a talent, given I was asleep.

Bina
10 years ago

Hey, I got called an “emotional feminazi” who’s doing the whole misandry thing by some douchey little idiot on Raw Story. So much laughage (especially the bit when someone said the Nazis were so well known for crying through romcoms).

>guffaw<

Don't tell him that "feminazis" generally can't stand romcoms, due to their gender-norm-enforcing crapaganda value. He'd probably only counter that they encourage hypergamy, or some typical bullshit like that.

Bina
10 years ago

I just love the look on her face in the “Nadezhda Durova at about age thirteen” pic.

Me too. It just reeks of skepticism, boredom, restlessness, and “I can’t wait to get out of this frilly dress already!”

kittehserf
10 years ago

Heheh that troll won’t be telling anyone anything. He got flagged several times and has had his arse kicked off there.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

If money is the metric women are supposed to pick a man by Michael knows that those black football players he’s waffling on about, if they’re any good, will end up making a truckload more money than he does, right? And they’ll have better bodies too.

Give it up, Mikey. Everyone knows that you’re just mad that the girls didn’t want to go out with you when you were in college, trying to make a philosophy out of the resulting sulk just makes you look silly.

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

Mikey, before I tear into your recent idiocy, I have a serious question for you: You’re terrified if becoming a SPINSTER yourself, aren’t you? You keep going on and on about how awful being unmarried is. And you keep trying to make yourself look good. You sound really desperate. You’re afraid of ending up alone, aren’t you? Your desperate. And you’re projecting all those feelings of fear and desperation onto random women you pass in the grocery store.

-Again. This is what I’m talking about.This was not fake. What motive would have I to embarrass myself with a fake story? This story is real. That’s where I got the cake comparison from.

See above. You desperately want our approval. But you’re stupid, and an asshole, and deep down you know that you aren’t going to win any friends with your personality. So you make up unbelievable stories about yourself.

– I’ve looked up 5 of the girls on Facebook. ONLY ONE IS MARRIED. Let me repeat that in case you not listening Broke SPINSTER Brooke: ONLY ONE IS MARRIED. The other 4 are single or “in a relationship” and others I can’t remember their last names.

WAIT WAIT WAIT. You know all 5 of the women on Facebook? All 5 of them? The only 5 women on Facebook? The only 5 women in the world that exist? I take it all back, Mikey. You sure are a bigshot, what with knowing all 5 of the women on Facebook.

Do that math. Oh wait. I forgot. Your a women. (Just kidding).

Yeah, the women here are a lot smarter than you, Mikey. That really pisses you off, doesn’t it?

-All you ladies can do is get upset. Call me names. Etc. Like child. As far as I’m concerned your all living proof that what Dalrock says is correct. You want to lead younger women down into the fire with you. I’m just hoping younger women will understand this, do the right thing, and avoid a possible life of booty calls. being married to a loser, and / or the eventual horrific life of a SPINSTER which is loneliness and pain.

We are mocking the hell out of you. You deserve it. You have offered absolutely no proof that Dalrock is correct, after repeated requests to do so. So at this point, I’m calling it. You got nothing and you lose. And you’re really pissed that you see men, other than yourself, in happy relationships, aren’t you? And you can’t figure out what they have that you don’t; and you can’t face the simple truth that it is you and your toxic personality that is keeping you from having a happy relationship with a woman, so you’re projecting that onto other men by calling them “losers.” Plus, the SPINSTER thing I said above. Plain truth of the matter, Mikey, is that you’re the loser, and you did it to yourself.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

If money is the metric women are supposed to pick a man by Michael knows that those black football players he’s waffling on about, if they’re any good, will end up making a truckload more money than he does, right? And they’ll have better bodies too.

Oh yeah. If my choice is Richard Sherman or Mikey, #25 wins every time.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

What motive would have I to embarrass myself with a fake story?

Dunno; you tell us. You’re embarrassing yourself regardless of whether your stories are fake or not.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Or sillier, in Mikey’s case.

So how do the men who don’t have wads of cash (which Mikey totally does, of course) get women evah? Does this mean we’ve all settled for losers? And why is Mikey so keen on hypergamy?

kittehserf
10 years ago

Ooooh, has Mikey being doing the Ultimate Test of looking for us on Facebook?

Could be tricky for him since not everyone uses that site.

Sparky called it, Mikey. You’re sad and desperate and projecting like mad.

Here’s an idea for you: take an English class. You might learn to spell, you might learn some grammar, and you might even make friends with people, if you can learn to keep your toxic hatred of everyone who’s not you in check.

Okay, maybe that last one’s too much to ask.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

He’s getting so flustered about the fact that his tales of the jetset life (condo on the beach! with lawyers next door! airplanes! my tax returns, please admire them!) are failing to make us renounce our evil non-whiny-asshole-worshipping ways and beg him for forgiveness. It’s funny. Keep it up, Mikey!

kittehserf
10 years ago

Akk, “been doing”.

eli
eli
10 years ago

and others I can’t remember their last names.

or maybe you can and they changed them when they got married.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

When women list themselves as “in a relationship” on Facebook that’s terrible. I bet they’re almost as unhappy as Michael.

(This seems unlikely)

kittehserf
10 years ago

Even with his repetiveness, Mikey’s the most entertaining troll we’ve had for a while. SPINSTERS itself puts him ahead of the incredibly boring efforts of the last year.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Few people are as unhappy as Michael.

kittehserf
10 years ago

I need a hand doing a new acronym. I’ve got S P I Never Stops Trolls Spouting Endless Repetitive Screeds but I can’t think up anything for the first three letters.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

SP = Significant Payment? Sunny Playa?

kittehserf
10 years ago

It needs three words – S, P, I.

eli
eli
10 years ago

S P

self-proclaimed?

eli
eli
10 years ago

lots of stuff could follow self-proclaimed!

kittehserf
10 years ago

Self proclamed idiocy! 😀

kittehserf
10 years ago

Showing Perfect Idiocy Never Stopped Trolls’ Endless Ragefrothy Screeds

eli
eli
10 years ago

I was afraid idiot and variations were non grata, but carry on!

importance/impotence (that might be non grata too :()

kittehserf
10 years ago

I wonder how many young women Mikey thinks will read his rantings and be converted to the “Oh, I must get married right now to a man at least a decade older than me”? Because it seems to have escaped him that being screamed at and told you’re a slut and a spinster and a whore and all the rest of it, and that you’ll turn invisible when you hit thirty (if only … that could have its upside) doesn’t work. At least, it doesn’t work coming from some saddo on the internet who has no power over you.

(Being literally invisible and shrieking in Mikey’s ear at the supermarket would be fun, especially if he was carrying something fragile*.)

*apart from his ego, that is

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