Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.
Here are a few of them:
Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP). This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.
Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.
As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process. However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.
Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.
But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!
Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.
He needs to manage risk vs reward. When courting, there are two fundamental risks. These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.
So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!
For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important. The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.
Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.
Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.
This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”
And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”
That Churchill, what a card!
Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married; unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.
Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)
They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …
Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma; older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.
Well, you could always marry a dude.
There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.
Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”
The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.
Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?
Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.
But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage. For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.
That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?
As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:
But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).
Wow. Worst attempt to scare young women into their beds…EVER.
Middle-aged/elderly men plus very young women equals mismatched sex drives…on average. Also, we know you guys are insecure and like the idea of a woman who has never seen a penis before. Of course dudebros hate the idea of women with smarts and good self-esteem, because deep down they’re always wondering “Who the hell would marry me?” Delusional Answer — a hypothetical 19-year-old who doesn’t know any better.
I’m not sure I grasp the internal logic here. Women are getting married later in life than they used to, which means a woman in her 30s or 40s more likely to want to marry you, so if you want to find somebody to marry… pursue young women?
I guess it’s less about logic and more about advocating preying on teenagers.
Viscaria, how’s Bailey?
I’m just walking home to check on him. I think he’s fine, but I want to take a look at him tonight.
Fingers crossed!
Baileys is all okay :-3
Sorry for the OT.
Kitties are NEVER off-topic. I’m so glad he’s okay, the naughty string-eater.
Wait a minute….if men hate women so much now and are refusing “courtship” Then why are all my female friends dating and/or married. Most men seem to like women just fine and vica/versa…could it be that red pillers are just full of crap?
Fibinachi, I know of a group blog that’s taking submissions, if you wanted to write that post after all.
@Shiraz
“Like the idea of a woman who’s never seen a penis before”..
Well not even that. See, being a slut is horrible, but being inexperienced means that your crime is not pleasing peens at the expense of all else basically. Of not being of utility to the men. So It’s the old madonna/whore thing again. it’s not as if you will ever win. I don’t have to explain why these guys hate ‘sluts’ so damn much, but if not that then your a barren wasteland of asexuality since women can always get laid if they really wanted to, because socially anxious women don’t exist. Obviously she is training to be a nun or waiting for marriage or doing what Jesus wants or some shit, so don’t waste your time, dude (blah blah)..
These dudes whine about sluts of course, but then the same guys have made similar assumptions about female virgins sucking in bed and hating sex put simply.
Slut shaming is not even about favouring this sort of inexperienced girl you would think that they would want. Nope. It’s about hating on women as always. Anyways, Just wanted to point that out quick.
Lol @ chibigodzilla. It seems like my taste for thrash metal is entirely appropriate then.
Yay tags work on phones too 🙂 I thought they might not for some reason
Ha, Coolies, the html monsters are just waiting for you to get confident and then …
You’re right, it’s about hating women. Whatever we do (or rather, however we exist) is wrong, according to these morons.
Funny how they’re the ones whining about nobody wanting them …
In my wasteful twenties, I used to leave the courtship running all the time when I left the house. Now that I’m in a pickier stage of life, I’ve installed compact fluorescents to conserve the precious, dwindling male attention. The savings have been incredible.
Still, I worry about how society will manage now that we’ve hit Peak Douche. Will we have to rely on dirtier, less efficient forms of validation?
Don’t go for the low-wattage courtship lights, though. They claim to be the equivalent of 75W but they’re really dim.
They can give you a nasty headache. Plus, they’re incredibly unflattering to all skin types.
Yes, it’s a strain trying to do any reading or knitting or anything useful at all, with those dimbulbs. They make the atmosphere quite murky.
1) Courtship, repeated a thousand times and used as a verb, noun, and adjective, is more than a little creepy. Also, certain elements of his bizarre diatribe lead me to believe he doesn’t really understand what the word “courtship” means. But either way, it’s kinda gross.
2) I didn’t realize menz reputations were damaged by being rejected. Their egos, sure. Their feelings, yeah. Welcome to rejection in general. But reputations, seriously tho. Not once in all my years of dating… courtship, sorry, wasteful courtship, has another person leaned over suddenly and whispered “Hey, you shouldn’t be seen with this guy out in public, he was REJECTED, TWICE!”
3) However, once someone leaned over to me at a bar and whispered “I see yr going out with Mr. X, you should be careful, he assaulted my friend on their third date”, whereupon Mr. X’s courtship was promptly wasted, cuz yeah, I listen when someone gets to the point of daring to tell completely strangers shit like that. Oh, wait. Was his courtship wasted, or did I waste the courtship? Damn you, Dalrock, now I don’t know!
4) Is it just me, or is Dalrock a totally great LoTRs type name? Or maybe Star Wars. “Go back from whence you came, Dalrock! Forthwith thou art banished to the Courtship of DOOM!”
I dunno, Dalrock just reminds me of Gyprock, a company that makes plasterboard and stuff. Inspiring it ain’t. 😀
Of course being rejected once = being rejected forever and having their reputations trashed, because the Feminist Hivemind means all women know when one rejected a (totally noble and deserving) dude.
OT:
1) Margaret Atwood is in my city giving a talk at a theater. I got there a few minutes before she was due to speak and the theater was over capacity with ≈820 people in a space regulated to ≈750 people. My sister is lucky enough to be among those who found a seat. (An older sister is stewing in Edinburgh because she isn’t stateside to hear Margaret Atwood speak.)
2) I watched most of “North Country” in a class about women and politics tonight. “North Country” is a movie dramatization of “Class Action: The Story of Lois Jenson and the Landmark Case That Changed Sexual Harassment Law” by Clara Bingham and Laura Leedy Gansler, both of which are about the hostile environment sexual harassment that Lois Jenson faced when she worked at a taconite mine in Minnesota. To make things short: I am enraged. It’s not because Margaret Atwood has come to town and I missed out on hearing her. It’s because of what Lois Jensen and the other women who worked at the same mine had to bear, and because I realize that such environments still exist in the United States and online.
I know that I have problems, but I feel like keeping a stiff upper lip when I think of what women have faced and fought.
[Note: “hostile environment sexual harassment” is not a typo but a term differentiating it from quid pro quo sexual harassment, where a supervisor seeks sexual favors in return for something else.]
Oh David, this was wonderful! I lol’d several times, you are so hilarious. I have nothing witty to add, just a straight forward “great work!” And “you rock!”
kittehserf – that annoying buzzing sound is just the gaslighting. Pretty soon you’ll forget why you were knitting in the first place.
Lili – wow, you dodged a bullet with #3. I think it really baffles and enrages MRAs that women are also buyers as well as sellers. In classical economics, commodities aren’t supposed to talk back, have preferences, or reject the seller.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I get all hot and bothered when someone starts droning on and on like the world’s most boring economics textbook. Dalrock must be a barrel of fun at parties.
On the reputation and rejection thing, sure, rejection hurts your reputation…if you’re a PUA, and you’re trying to use your ability to get women into bed as a reason why people should buy your ebooks. Otherwise, no.
“You shall not pass the knickers, or the skirt hem either! You shall not pass!”
Yep, he’s a LOTR monster.
Rejection hasn’t. seemed to hurt Roosh’s reputation any. His success rate is abysmal, but he still manages to eke out a living from book sales and blogging. His followers will overlook anything.
Also, I second Nitram. “MMMMMMM” made me laugh out loud, not least because it’s about the last word anyone would use to describe MRAs.