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Dalrock on why men should avoid women who’ve wasted “a lot of courtship” and “used up their most attractive/fertile years.”

Woman with surplus courtship
Woman with surplus courtship

Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.

Here are a few of them:

Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP).  This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.

Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.

As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process.  However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.

Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.

But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!

Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.

He needs to manage risk vs reward.  When courting, there are two fundamental risks.  These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.

So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!

For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important.  The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.

Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.

Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.

This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”

And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”

That Churchill, what a card!

Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married;  unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.

Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)

They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …

Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma;  older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.

Well, you could always marry a dude.

There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.

Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”

The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.

Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?

Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.

But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage.  For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.

That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?

As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:

fig_19_series_23_no_22_p_27

But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).

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katz
10 years ago

Michael.

I am not unmarried. Or older.

I am not telling you this because I’m trying to brag or to convince you of anything. I’m simply saying it because anything you say about me being old and alone just Doesn’t. Mean. Anything.

kittehserf
10 years ago

I don’t know which I’d be worse off in, platforms or heels. If the platforms were like the old sort that were a little flatter – ie. the heel not hugely higher than the sole – I could manage for a bit, though it’d be terribly clumpy. High heels hurt my feet the second I put them on, and I couldn’t wear them with orthotics anyway. Flats are my shoes!

Right, time for Foyle’s War, niters!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

So far in terms of the people who Michael is arguing with we have two people who meet his description (older, unmarried, though both a lot happier than he is, and isn’t that funny?) and everyone else is either married or much younger or both. But still, SPINSTERS!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Wait, does David count as a SPINSTER? I guess not because he’s a man.

Michael
Michael
10 years ago

@ cassandrakitty

That’s why women and 5 trillion per year on the “beauty industry” in the us – because they don’t give a “shit” about what men think….

@ Katz

Dirty and overcrowded.. yet visually stimulating. First class Virgin America. I rarely fly coach except on international flights.

@ kitten serf

Silence SPINSTER. You invisible shrew. Prove your under 30 or quit making that shrieking noise.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

I said we don’t care what you specifically think, Michael. Your opinion is of no importance at all to anyone here, no matter how much you shriek at us in all caps.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
10 years ago

Doesn’t matter what I say – as long as it makes me look positive in some way or validates my points almost every deluded thirty something, SPINSTER and/or divorcee here will claim its a lie’ untrue, mock a straw man accusation etc.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL you haven’t validated your points. You keep repeating unsubstantiated assertions as though repetition is the means through which facts are created. They’re not. And thinking you have created a positive look for yourself by the screeds of text you have typed here is more proof that you’re an idiot.

Nothing I have stated here is a lie.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

By the way, platforms are sexy. Again it’s not about what you think is attractive, its about what men think is attractive.

Yeah, because all men have a hive mind when it comes to rating people for attractiveness. *You* find platforms (are you sure you mean platforms and not stilletos?) attractive.

Your are mostly older unmarried bitter women deluded in denial. Most of you are also very skilled at emotional diatribes , wishful thinking, and POINTING OUT THE EXCEPTIONS to the rule.

Dude, check out the definition of projection, see here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection

Dude, if there a loads of exceptions, then it’s *not* a rule. Your assplucks are *not* a rule. Your personal preferences are *not* a rule. Typing in caps does not make your argument stronger, it just demonstrates that your caps lock key is working. Congratulations, you have that in common with many trolls.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

He seems to honestly believe that if he asserts his belief that his opinions are more important than ours often enough it will become true. Yay magical thinking.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

*pulls data back up* Survey says…more than half of us are under 30! And another 30%~ are 30-39. In fact…25 is the cut off right? 29.5% of us were under that as of the survey.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

PS — I got my iPod touch and am LOVING having three ‘net screens. I can watch things, be here and have the survey data at my fingertips!

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

Silence SPINSTER. You invisible shrew. Prove your under 30 or quit making that shrieking noise.

Tell me you’re a parody, Mikey. This is just too funny.

And that would be “you’re” not “your”. I shouldn’t have to keep telling you this, you with your mighty lawyer brain.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Can you say “diploma mill”?

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
10 years ago

@cassandra, you’re too unkind. Maybe he got A grades because he was on a sports scholarship.

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

Tell me, Mikey: What does it feel like to lead such a miserable, empty and shitty existence that you feel the need to make up outrageous lies about yourself to random strangers on the Internet? How does it feel to have a bunch “SPINSTERS” and “shrews” point and laugh at you? How does it feel when people you hold in such contempt obviously live such happier and more fulfilling than yours? I bet it leaves a pretty bitter taste in your mouth.

You really do need to do some deep soul searching, Mikey. All this rage and bitterness isn’t good for a person. You really need to start taking responsibility for your own life instead of blaming all your personal failings on women.

And you have yet to prove anything. Where’s all these citations and peer reviewed research that you claim Dalrock uses to back up his “theories?”

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

Not everyone dislikes a shrieking shrew…

http://instagram.com/p/jWcxVcl-8n/#

Valerian
10 years ago

Wait, I thought marriage was evil and only for beta chumps, so aren’t women supposed to become spinsters?

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

I rarely fly coach except on international flights.

Michael is such a trendsetter that his flying habits are the exact opposite of those of every relatively wealthy person I’ve ever met, not to mention every corporate travel policy I’ve ever encountered. You go, Mikey! Next year everyone will be doing it!

Doesn’t matter what I say – as long as it makes me look positive in some way or validates my points almost every deluded thirty something, SPINSTER and/or divorcee here will claim its a lie’ untrue, mock a straw man accusation etc.

You miss the point, Michael. You’re probably lying about at least a few details of your life, but even if every word was true, you are still a much less appealing option than never being in a relationship ever again.

vaiyt
10 years ago

Speak for yourself, Michael.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

I love it when guys like Mikey get screechy and demand shit. Mikey, why should we prove a thing to you?

Platforms…on the right shoe with the right outfit they’re fine. I can walk better in those than in heels. I can’t do the platformed stillettos, those are just an ankle break waiting to happen for me.

Bina
10 years ago

Silence SPINSTER. You invisible shrew. Prove your under 30 or quit making that shrieking noise.

Fuck off, you has-been fratboy. Nobody here has to prove anything to you…least of all such an irrelevant thing as her age.

Valerian
10 years ago

I suspect he’s billing domestic flights to clients and international flights are on his own dime, which is why he’s doing it backwards. So he’s billing unnecessary frills to the client. That’s not a sound plan for growing your business, there’s a reason most business travelers fly coach.

katz
10 years ago

So why did you say you were flying coach? Just trying to get a sense of how you communicate here.

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

@Valerian, l suppose that’s plausible. 🙂

Bina
10 years ago

Doesn’t matter what I say – as long as it makes me look positive in some way or validates my points almost every deluded thirty something, SPINSTER and/or divorcee here will claim its a lie’ untrue, mock a straw man accusation etc.

Ah, I see. You’re just pulling whatever out of your ass, in a desperate effort to look good to all the single ladies. Nice to see you admitting to being a liar, Mikey.

The invitation to fuck off still stands, however.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

Witchy kitty’s shrieking shrew-loving look is purrfect.

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