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Dalrock on why men should avoid women who’ve wasted “a lot of courtship” and “used up their most attractive/fertile years.”

Woman with surplus courtship
Woman with surplus courtship

Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.

Here are a few of them:

Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP).  This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.

Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.

As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process.  However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.

Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.

But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!

Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.

He needs to manage risk vs reward.  When courting, there are two fundamental risks.  These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.

So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!

For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important.  The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.

Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.

Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.

This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”

And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”

That Churchill, what a card!

Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married;  unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.

Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)

They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …

Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma;  older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.

Well, you could always marry a dude.

There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.

Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”

The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.

Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?

Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.

But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage.  For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.

That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?

As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:

fig_19_series_23_no_22_p_27

But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).

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Bina
10 years ago

I just looked up some of the “weekly spinster reports” on the Dalrock blog Michael told us about. Wow.

Women being near him in stores are hitting on him if they aren’t wearing wedding rings.

And to think that we oh-so-ancient-and-decrepit SPINSTERS are sexually invisible to these guys. So invisible, in fact, that they go to all the trouble of writing detailed reports on how desperate and horny we all supposedly are, so they can slobberingly compare notes.

Can’t…stop…laughing.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

Late 30′s spinster follows me around and “plants” herself next to me at Costco. This isn’t actually “hitting on anyone” however when the same women with no wedding ring and a “desperate for dick” look stands next to you for 4 times in four different places pretending to look at the same thing 4 different times WITHOUT GRABBING ANYTHING FROM THE SHELF I would consider that her way of waiting for a guy to talk to her.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

Blockquote fail. That was me directly quoting one of the weekly SPINSTER reports.

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

It’s so funny how convinced he is that endless repetition of his claims to be rich and have a hot girlfriend will make anyone here take him more seriously and thus fear the SPINSTER PERIL.

I think the Spinster Peril would be an awesome super-heroine.

kittehserf
10 years ago

How does one learn what a “Desperate for Dick” look is? Sounds like a particularly bad Nixon campaign slogan.

katz
10 years ago

I think the Spinster Peril would be an awesome super-heroine.

Sidekick to the Black Widow.

Myoo
Myoo
10 years ago

Late 30′s spinster follows me around and “plants” herself next to me at Costco. This isn’t actually “hitting on anyone” however when the same women with no wedding ring and a “desperate for dick” look stands next to you for 4 times in four different places pretending to look at the same thing 4 different times WITHOUT GRABBING ANYTHING FROM THE SHELF I would consider that her way of waiting for a guy to talk to her.

He’s probably standing right in front of the shelf that has whatever item the woman is trying to get and she’s hoping he’ll take a hint and move so she can reach it.

Bina
10 years ago

Late 30′s spinster follows me around and “plants” herself next to me at Costco. This isn’t actually “hitting on anyone” however when the same women with no wedding ring and a “desperate for dick” look stands next to you for 4 times in four different places pretending to look at the same thing 4 different times WITHOUT GRABBING ANYTHING FROM THE SHELF I would consider that her way of waiting for a guy to talk to her.

She’s comparison shopping, dude…and you ain’t the merchandise. Sorry.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

Reading another spinster report . . . man, if you thought he sounded angry and used excessive capital letters over here . . .

kittehserf
10 years ago

At the very least, he’s the merchandise that gets …

Wait for it, wait for it …

Left on the shelf!

Bina
10 years ago

Yup, Mikey just tipped his beta hand there. If she’s THAT desperate for the D, wouldn’t she at least make small talk about the weather? Nope…not a word. And he’s pissed. PISSED. That she wouldn’t talk to him. HIM!

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

Wait, Costco’s? What’s big-shot Mikey doing shopping at a discount buy-in-bulk store?

katz
10 years ago

And why would anyone looking for a rich man go to Costco and not, say, Whole Foods?

cloudiah
10 years ago

(BTW I’m writing this while being carried on a sedan chair by a cluster of male models, who are feeding me peeled grapes and wheeling along my personal WiFi tower.)

This reminds me of a song by Blue Oyster Cult (my sister went through a B.O.C. phase, so I heard it incessantly). The slightly re-worked chorus:

Come on baby
(Don’t fear the SPINSTER)
Baby take my hand
(Don’t fear the SPINSTER)
We’ll be able to fly
(Don’t fear the SPINSTER)
Baby I’m your man

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Regarding our relationship statuses…

Survey says…36.5%!! (600~ out of 1,640) No clue how many are happy relationships, but it seems a safe guess that at least a third of manboobz readers are (or were at the time of the survey) in happy relationships. Another 10%~ were single and not looking, implying nearly half of us are quite fine with our current relationship status. Most of the rest just didn’t answer the question.

Michael
Michael
10 years ago

Doesn’t matter what I say – as long as it makes me look positive in some way or validates my points almost every deluded thirty something, SPINSTER and/or divorcee here will claim its a lie’ untrue, mock a straw man accusation etc.

Nothing I have stated here is a lie. By the way, platforms are sexy. Again it’s not about what you think is attractive, its about what men think is attractive.

Your are mostly older unmarried bitter women deluded in denial. Most of you are also very skilled at emotional diatribes , wishful thinking, and POINTING OUT THE EXCEPTIONS to the rule.

http://collapsereport.com/2013/12/22/alone-and-dying-the-horrific-fate-the-modern-single-woman-faces/

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Dude, what we put on our feet is about what we like, not what you like. Nobody gives a shit what you like.

katz
10 years ago

How was LAX, Michael?

And…were you in first class or coach? I mean it doesn’t matter or anything but your syntax was so confused and now it’s bugging me.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

(Also, you may want to reconsider the wisdom of drunk commenting. Your already shaky grasp on grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure has now deteriorated to the point where there’s no way anyone is going to believe you got into law school.)

kittehserf
10 years ago

Why should we think you’re telling the truth about anything, Mikey? Trolls like you have a history of telling really obvious lies here.

If you’re so happy and succcessful, why are you spending so much time screaming in caps at women (and men – your dudely lawyer brain doesn’t seem to have grasped that there are men here) you consider beneath your notice?

If you’re so happy, how come it’s you who’s ranting and carrying on, and us who’re pointing and laughing at you, and enjoying treating you as the chewtoy you are?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

I mean seriously, what is this supposed to mean when translated from screeching ragemonkey into English?

will claim its a lie’ untrue, mock a straw man accusation etc.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Goodness knows. He’s got to the point of using familar words in ways that don’t make much sense. Not that he had far to go to reach that point.

Typical he thinks what women wear is all about whether men think it makes us more fuckable or not. I don’t know any men who think platforms are attractive, and even if, say, Louis said he did, I wouldn’t be giving myself incredibly sore feet and risking a broken ankle because of it. Mind you he’s not the sort of douchebag who’d expect me to.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Mr C describes obvious platforms as looking like the women in them are wearing bricks on the bottom of their feet. I have nothing against them as part of a look where it fits, but sexy? Only because dudes like Michael associate them with strippers.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Mr C summed it up perfectly. They look so heavy and clumpy, the current ones even more than the 1970s ones. Women in them look uncomfortable, awkward and very vulnerable, to me, though I don’t suppose they feel that way about them. I wouldn’t be surprised if that sort of thing is what turns creeps like Mikey on.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

They’re harder to walk in than heels, that’s for sure. I’m fine in them (gymnastics ans ballet background paying off there), but a lot of people do end up sort of tottering, which I’m sure is sexy to someone who’s scared of the idea of women having any power.

I still think it’s the association with strippers that makes some men love them so much, though.

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