Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.
Here are a few of them:
Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP). This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.
Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.
As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process. However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.
Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.
But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!
Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.
He needs to manage risk vs reward. When courting, there are two fundamental risks. These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.
So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!
For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important. The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.
Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.
Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.
This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”
And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”
That Churchill, what a card!
Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married; unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.
Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)
They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …
Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma; older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.
Well, you could always marry a dude.
There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.
Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”
The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.
Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?
Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.
But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage. For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.
That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?
As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:
But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).
Very timely, I just finished watching Toy Story 3! 😀
Thank ‘ee, thank ‘ee, I like to help. Gravatars of hot kings = environmentally friendly heating system.
That was when we wondered if SPINSTERS was an acronym. I came up with Sexy Pirates Imagining Next Sunday Teatime’s Evening Relaxation.
I can’t hear Ooo Arrr without thinking of Phil Harding these days. 😛
@Mikey
I need to see your investment portfolio and cholesterol levels to further lock down how fantastically desirable and tantalizingly out of reach you are.
. This is one very long sentence driven by deeply felt rage. I thought living on the beach was relaxing. You should try yoga.
Oh, man. I’ve only just now caught up with this thread. It’s weird to think that Mikey here has probably written more on my blog than I have in the last few days.
There are a few things that stick out.
Charlotte, NC?! Mikey, THAT’s where you decided to take your 23 year old HB8 (but 10 to you) gf? You’re in LA (you claim) but decided to fly her all the way across the country to, what, visit Ray’s Splash Planet, a 29,000-square-foot indoor water park and fitness facility, or the NASCAR SpeedPark, or possibly the President James K. Polk State Historic Site?
I found all those here: http://www.charlottesgotalot.com/101-fun-things-to-do-in-charlotte
I mean, you’re in fucking LA. You could take her to Vegas, or San Francisco, or Big Sur, or Yosemite, or Cabo, or Catalina, or Aspen, or any of a zillion places that would be, you know 1) in or near the Western US and 2) more interesting than Charlotte, NC.
I mean, nothing against Charlotte, NC, which I’m sure is a pleasant enough place to live, but since when do dudes try to impress their 23 year old gfs by flying them literally across the entire continent to visit it?
And then this whole “no one’s going to want you/marry you after you’re 30” bit. First of all, what woman in her 20s is going to want to marry herself to a guy who thinks she’s going to “hit the wall” at 30 and become a hideous disgusting beast by age 40?
Second, you guys can keep repeating this all you want — and you obviously love repeating it — but everyone knows it isn’t true. Women in their 30s and 40s aren’t being ignored or rejected.
Let’s see. I know one woman who dated various guys in her 20s. (Not a giant number, but she didn’t go rushing into marriage.) In her 30s, instead of being left sad and lonely, she ended up in a long-term relationship with a 40-something Wall Street quant guy who had oodles of money and adored her and wanted to marry her and have kids with her.
In the end she decided that she couldn’t see spending the rest of her life with him, so in her late 30s she broke up with him. Had she thrown away her one chance for happiness in life?
Well, no. Before too long she started dating an actor a couple of years older than her (I’m trying to keep things a little vague here, but he’s constantly working and has had recurring roles in a couple of well-known HBO and network series). Now they live together on the upper west side in Manhattan and have a baby together. She’s 40.
I know another 40 year old who’s been dating (for a while now) a guy in his twenties.
I know a poly married woman, also about 40, who was regularly seeing a half-dozen partners, male and female, of various ages. She had to cut back only because she needs to get her dissertation done.
I regularly talk to women in their 40s and 50s who get hit on by younger guys all the time.
Mikey, no matter how hard you yell, the world just doesn’t work the way you say it does.
Solitary confinement community? What, Mikey thinks women get imprisoned for not marrying him/dudes like him? And if it’s solitary confinement how can it be a community?
I notice he also hates creative people. Colour me surprised.
HEY MIKEY
MY GUY’S AN ARTIST AND A MUSICIAN AND A SOLDIER AND A KING
More than that, he’s happy and loving, two qualities I doubt you can even understand, let alone possess.
You could look like a sex god and have millions and millions of dollars and you still wouldn’t be fit to wipe his arse. Or mine.
Gawd, David, did you just read Mikey’s walls-o-text all in one hit? You deserve a medal. Or at least a packet of bon-bons and some Scented Fucking Candles.
He hates artists because they get so much more attention from women than he does. If he was any more transparent you could stick him in a frame and use him as a window.
Blockquote monster’s up late tonight, I see.
I should also note, regarding the woman now living with the actor, that he’s really an awesome guy, very funny, nice, considerate, a great dad. She absolutely made the right choice in not “settling” for the Wall Street dude. (I don’t think any of her earlier boyfriends were thinking marriage; they were in their 20s.)
Hey, Mikey, newsflash. Women’s happiness is not dependent on whether they married some guy. Any guy.
I’m that SPINSTER you’re talking about. I’ve hit the half century, I’m not married, I never had children, I live alone (unless you count the cats and the chickens), I haven’t had a date in more than a decade.
Am I sad I never found someone I loved enough to marry? Yes, sometimes. Am I sorry I never settled for marriage? Hell, no!
And you know what? That doesn’t make me of any less worth as a person than anyone else. And it sure as hell makes me happier than you are, right now.
Because women’s self worth isn’t defined by their attractiveness to men, their ability to have children, whether they have a husband or a date or any of those suffocating patriarchal conventions you and misogynists of your strip try and heap upon us..
I’m the the old maid with cats that creeps like you tell young women to be afraid of becoming. And you know what? The view from here is FABULOUS!
Oh, and by the way – that supermarket thing? i’m 5’2″ so I struggle to reach objects on the top shelves. Do I try & find a cute younger man to reach them down for me? Hell, yes. Do I expect anything more than being able to watch a cute younger man get the object for me that’s out of my reach? Nope. /giggles
Shorter me: Don’t you DARE try and old-spinster shame me, you asshat!
Same with WA beaches. You can’t go in that water without a wetsuit. I’ve seen people “surfing” there (the waves are kinda crap) and I don’t know why their limbs don’t fall right off.
The water in Seattle is excellent. The water here in Austin is decent, but we filter it because it kinda smells like feet.
Mikey took his HB8 to CHARLOTTE? HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, what a romantic. Did they go to Carrowinds? Shit, if you’re gonna go to NC, at least go to the Outer Banks.
Yeah, for someone so adamant that he’s a quality guy “in writing”, he doesn’t seem to get how his qualities are reflected in… his writing.
Preach it, sister! I’m a few years behind you (and a couple of inches taller), but yes to all you said. The view here is fabulous, and I wouldn’t trade it for all the diaper pails in the world.
Also, “solitary confinement”? Mikey, what fucking drugs are you on? Being solitary isn’t “confinement”, it’s FREEDOM. Surprisingly, women cherish that even more than Teh Menz…because all our lives we’re being told how to be Proper Women by clueless gits like you. Getting away from guys like you is a blessing. The very air smells better when it’s not polluted by your inane babble.
@Mikey
“Franky I was made into this. I spent YEARS as a hopeless romantic princess bride movie fantasizer thinking “when will I meet my true love” pedestalizing “nice guy” unaware of the post feminist modern reality of most Western women until I simply had no choice but to accept it”
Oh, fucking please. I used to believe I was a Nice Guy too. Been there, done that.
At twelve, I knew enough about cultural history to easily understand that the women I believed wanted to only date “bad boys” weren’t representative of all women of all times. I was not so stupid and self-absorbed to not notice that clamming up and pining endlessly for girls wouldn’t get any of them landing on my lap, ever. The idea that women should be obliged to put out for me already sounded laughable back then.
Of course I’m going to hold you and the entirety of your repellent subculture in deep contempt, if you can’t even manage to be as smart as my twelve year old self.
“Being solitary isn’t “confinement”, it’s FREEDOM. Surprisingly, women cherish that even more than Teh Menz…because all our lives we’re being told how to be Proper Women by clueless gits like you. Getting away from guys like you is a blessing. The very air smells better when it’s not polluted by your inane babble.”
Manboobzers: being more effective at GTOW than the MGTOW?
QFT. Mikey has obviously never heard of the merry widow trope.
It’s true. What a shame. It looks like I’ll just have to find someone I like and not marry them, then. Life is so unfair.
Look, Michael is just a hopeless romantic who was looking for a wife he can strike if he feels that she is lying. Feminism has ruined this for him. Poor guy.
That makes no sense out of context at all, sorry. There’s a scene in Princess Bride where Westley threatens to slap Buttercup because he feels that she’s lying (though she isn’t) and because she consented to marry someone else when she thought he was dead.
Two of the happiest people I know are single women in their fifties – one with two marriages behind her, the other with none. In fact, I think they’re happier now than at any point that I’ve known them, and I’ve known one for something like 25 years. They have no problem attracting male companionship, but they actively want to live alone and greatly appreciate the fact that they’re both in complete control of their lives.
In fact, I envy them sometimes, since I’ve got at least another decade of parental responsibility ahead of me.
Your on this site and your 26. That tells me its likely something made you search out the subject matter of this website and are now a commenter.
“Dude I’m 18, I came here because I was tired of misogyny on the internet, and needed a laugh. Thanks, you’ve done a good job of that.”
I don’t regularly encounter people like Mikey outside of the internet. I don’t remember what brought me to manboobz, although it may have been that post by Roosh about the anexoric fetish he has which got posted on my facebook feed. Mostly I just encounter gross men who don’t understand personal boundaries/space.
I like that he included “fun guys” in that list, therefore accidentally outing himself as someone who is not fun to be around. We already knew that, of course, but it’s still funny that he did it to himself.
Wait, I have a magical vagina? Why did nobody tell me this sooner? Holy shit! BRB, I’m gonna go fix me some bad boys!
As for the rest, yeah, this is kind of revealing. Mikey is telling us he’s no fun, has no artistic or musical talent, lacks insight, and possesses zero charisma. Yet we’re all supposed to pine away for the lack of him, and if under 30 and/or still single, we better hop to it, nail a guy like him down, and churn out un-fun, inartistic, unmusical, zero-charisma babies. And then, when we’re over 30 and he’s sick of us for not being young and tight and dumb anymore, it’s Le Grand Divorce. Quality, ye SPINSTERS!