Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.
Here are a few of them:
Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP). This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.
Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.
As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process. However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.
Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.
But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!
Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.
He needs to manage risk vs reward. When courting, there are two fundamental risks. These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.
So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!
For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important. The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.
Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.
Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.
This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”
And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”
That Churchill, what a card!
Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married; unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.
Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)
They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …
Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma; older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.
Well, you could always marry a dude.
There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.
Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”
The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.
Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?
Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.
But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage. For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.
That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?
As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:
But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).
It;s rough out there for lawyers in the US. Big Law job are rare as hens teeth right now.
@ cupisinque
Hey sexy gravitar….
To rationally answer your comment: you would not know until you actually talked to the guy. Unless you only strictly date guys your own age there would be no reason to not look twice. right?
Your on this site and your 26. That tells me its likely something made you search out the subject matter of this website and are now a commenter.
It’s likely you’re seeing opinions expressed by me expressed in your own life, people yu know socially, ex boyfriends etc or elsewhere. It’s not a negative male social phenomena unless you were planning to have your cake and eat it too. In that case you only need to look to the deluded thirty something’s, spinsters and bitter divorcees on this blog to see where you might end up. Again should you follow that path.
The good news is you still have time. Your 26. Your blonde. Your attractive. Strike now while the anvil is hot. Don’t make the mistake of believing you will always be in your prime with endless options to pick from.
Follow your grandmothers advice. All you need to do is find a man who is a good person. Moral. Attractive. Kind. Responsible. A good father husband material. A nice guy. Invest your youth in the person and try to make the best choice you can make. If you throw away your chips on players, fun guys, party guys, Alpha males, wanna be musicians, the insightful starving artist, the D.J., and the bad boy you know you can change with your magical vagina – there is a very high probability you will step off the Ferris wheel with a broken heart and a high number count headed right into the solitary confinement community (used as easy lays by younger guys or various random guys), deluded thirty somethings, soon to be disillusioned SPINSTERS, and bitter divorcees on this blog. Don’t become one of them.
Don’t waste your youth.
A women’s age at the time of marriage truely does matter to men. It’s reality. Accept it or become like the women on this blog who don’t.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H-gfxjAaZg0&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DH-gfxjAaZg0
As are little jobs, last time I asked the law school friend he couldn’t even find a clerk type job, and his grades range from decent to superb.
Seriously? He still thinks this upsets us?
lolol
Who’d want to marry him anyway? Nobody, but nobody, would be interested.
This sounds a whole lot like the guy who just knew that the woman wanted his seat on the bus. They both assume they know what the women are thinking, so that’s all they see/hear.
Is it possible Mike is visiting us from 2003?
SATC references, real-estate-as-status, and lawyers who have time to carry on internet crusades? It’s taking me back, man.
Yeah. Pity he still loses on that front. I have two cats and zero dog.
Oh, I thought he was telling David not to ask him about his sushi purchases, but I guess it’s the SPINSTERS who are not supposed to ask him about that. I was confused.
I guess David probably still has permission to ask about his sushi purchases.
My friend is a lawyer, and she’s never been poor, but she’s not exactly rolling in it either because she does native title law. She looked at becoming a barrister at one point, but it’s basically running your own business, which means you can fail at it. Plus barristers aren’t allowed to advertise – they need to have clients referred by a solicitor.
But yes, I don’t think you could be a working lawyer and poor, but lawyers can have just as much trouble getting work as anyone else. My friend was unemployed for ages before she took the job she has now. And for that she had to move to Broome.
And I probably haven’t tried whatever sushi’s he’s buying before. I haven’t tried any sushi unless it’s vegan.
And I wonder if Michael now thinks I’m hitting on him.
I’m not.
Ah, thanks for that, Kim.
Good on your friend for working in native title law!
Grumpycat – I wonder if there’s anything a woman can do that Mikey doesn’t read as her hitting on him? I guess it makes him feel better to think he’s rejecting everyone than to admit nobody is even slightly interested. If anyone remembers him five minutes after his supermarket encounters, it’s probably as “that weird rude dude”.
LOLOLOLOL:
Do ya think Micwhiney puts himself in that category?
Oh, so youth is an investment. So you can bank it away and it accrues over time. That’s what assets, i.e. things one makes an investment on, do. Finance 101 dude.
If you’re American, does that mean you’re not supposed to throw your French fries on these guys, or do you mean potato crisps? Or casino chips? Maybe the guys like it if you throw casino chips on them (with their persmission of course) and they just don’t like it if you throw fries with ketchup, or BBQ crisps, or crisps that aren’t Doritos.
The list that one is not supposed to throw chips on is quite long. It doesn’t really appear to omit any category of cis-guy at all. By definition, that’s not a helpful list at all. But then, we know you’re not here to be helpful, apparently you’re here because you are trying (and failing miserably) to gloat, and also pick up. Apparently you can’t read as well as being stupid as the blog says “Manboobz” and not “OK Cupid” or [insert name of dating website here]. And given that most people try to show off their best qualities when they start hitting on someone, you’re really not off to a good start. Dude, when one is in a hole one should stop digging.
How is a cis-woman supposed to hit a cis-guy with fries on a Ferris wheel? That involves calculating gravitational influence, acceleration, and trajectory stuff. So are the only women throwing chips those that can do physics? It’s going to be really important to know what type of chips you mean, because fries and crisps and casino chips will all require different constants entered into the formula. Do you get to step off the Ferris wheel if you have some chips left, or do you have to stay on until you finish throwing all your chips?
What if neither the woman nor the guy like chips and don’t gamble? Do you throw candy floss instead?
Got any of the evidence we asked for earlier?
To the blonde feminist 26 years old and attractive in her photoshopped Gravatar – you have less than 4 years until you are 30. Many blondes ( in my opinion) do not age well. They are the earliest peakers. You better get cracking now if you ever hope to marry a quality guy.
OMG OMG IS HE TALKING ABOUT ME??? OMG OMG!!
*swoons*
lalalalalal hahaha lalalala cause you know SO MUCH ABOUT ME! Oh, wait, you don’t know shit mofo.
Also, I’m not actually blonde, I just dyed it recently so I guess I won’t “peak early” lol!!!!! Also it’s not photoshopped, dickhead. And I don’t sleep with “bad boys”. My boyfriend is the nicest, most loving person I have ever met, and I will eventually marry his sexy ass when I get around to it. At the moment I am busy getting my PhD so suck it. And for the record he is in law school. But, most importantly of all – he treats me like a human being whos opinions and thoughts matter and are interesting. But of course I am only interested in either alpha cocks or men with money so it doesn’t matter whether he treats me like I have a value aside from my “magical vagina”.
Sorry, been out drinking with my ladies, and just read this lovely shout out to myself by none other than the oh-so-fuckable Michael (I’m assuming? I am blonde in my Gravatar and 26). Excuse the extra exclamation points and caps lock shouting!
“Franky I was made into this. I spent YEARS as a hopeless romantic princess bride movie fantasizer thinking “when will I meet my true love” pedestalizing “nice guy” unaware of the post feminist modern reality of most Western women until I simply had no choice but to accept it”
This fucking shit is what makes me want to vom when I meet guys who pedestal women, trust me we don’t want that shit any more than you do so just fucking STOP! We are human BEINGS!!! Pedestaling women is equivalent to treating them as objects. We are interchangeable in your view, nothing about our idiosyncrasies is important (except whether we are sexy, hot, blah blah blah)
One final point I would like to make, aesthetics are culturally constructed (not biological). This is obvious if you knew anything about history or other cultures which have very different standards of ideal beauty. In Western, North American society there is a standard of beauty that privileges young, very thin, symmetrical faces, and whatever else you want to include in there. That is not in and of itself evidence that it is a biological impetus, sorry dude. Just because it’s something *we* do, doesn’t mean it’s the only way to do it, but keep on with your ethnocentric shit.
Wow, Ok, so I just got around to reading the second post regarding myself and holy shit there is so much assumptions going on by this guy that I don’t even know what to say. If I wanted to fuck all the “alpha cocks” in the god damn world, I would. And I wouldn’t give a fuck at having to explain myself to you.
“Follow your grandmothers advice”
Well one of my grandmothers was pregnant before she met my grandfather whom she had another 6 children with and I only learned that her first child (my aunt) was not biologically my grandfathers. So dude, that stuff happens even in your fantasy olden days. My other grandmother, love her and all, but there’s no way in hell I would have her life. Her husband, father of her children, was an acoholic that committed suicide when my mother was 12 years old (I obviously never met him) whom she refused to talk about. Guess what? They didn’t “waste” their youth on the alpha cock.
Whatever… I’m too buzzed to continue this rant. Thanks for the shout out and your kind considerations, but I’m good. I don’t need advice from emotionally stunted man-children.
Oh wow, how did I miss that latest Mikeytwaddle? That was a keeper. And by “keeper”, I mean WHATTA LOADA SHITE!
Really scary thought: maybe Mikey is showing us his best qualities.
So, does he think he’s Wesley, is he after Buttercup, or what? Or is he hopelessly in love with Inigo? That I could understand. 🙂
Boringness? Stupidity? Willful obtuseness? General wankitude? Oy.
My money’s on the short, balding dude (I forget his name), who always said “Inconceivable!” You know, the one who was always using words that did not mean what he thought they meant?
Either that, or he’s a Rodent of Unusual Size.
::does quick Google::
Vizzini, that’s the one.
I think you’re right. I can just imagine Mikey spluttering “inconceivable” when told women aren’t hitting on him.
I just got pear guts all over my school book 🙁
Dude, my great-grandma was a schoolmarm at the one room schoolhouse and married one of her pupils, who legend has it liked to misbehave so he could get a switchin’ from her.
He was 8 years her junior.
They farmed their 50 acres, raised four successful kids and stayed married til he died in his 80s– she followed a few months after.
Soft a spot as I have for them, all l I can say about that story is that “times were different, I guess?”
Can you apply ANY of that to 2014?
ha
@ hellkell
Yeah, I was going to say. Obviously property prices in LA are more reasonable than they are up here, but still, in that income bracket you’d be looking at a rented apartment at the beach in Venice, not a house in Malibu. Which, hey, nothing wrong with the former scenario, it’s just not as impressive as he wants it to be (and makes me suspect he doesn’t really live in California).
So, funny story. There’s this guy I’ve worked with a few times who even if I was single I’d think twice about dating because he’s a rocker dude and not exactly known for monogamy, but as a father? He’s a great dad, adores his daughter. Great husband and great dad are not necessarily the same thing.
Meanwhile, Michael is still trying to convince us that he’s happy with the path he’s chosen? If that’s happy I’d hate to see him in a bad mood.
That’s my favorite bit of his story of poverty and woe. He was forced to drink the fresh, potable water that comes out of the faucet! Oh noooooo!
My arch-Catholic paternal grandma used to bring me a glass of sherry when I was moping over some totally unworthy dude or other. Then she’d say to me: “Hast Probleme mit dem deinen, setz’ dich hin und trink dir einen!” That’s German for “If your guy is giving you trouble, sit down and drown your sorrows in a glass.” And when I was done that, she’d go for a refill.
I miss her so much.
Oh, Italic Monster. Do I have to bring YOU liquor, too?