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Dalrock on why men should avoid women who’ve wasted “a lot of courtship” and “used up their most attractive/fertile years.”

Woman with surplus courtship
Woman with surplus courtship

Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.

Here are a few of them:

Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP).  This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.

Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.

As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process.  However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.

Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.

But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!

Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.

He needs to manage risk vs reward.  When courting, there are two fundamental risks.  These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.

So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!

For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important.  The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.

Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.

Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.

This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”

And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”

That Churchill, what a card!

Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married;  unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.

Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)

They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …

Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma;  older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.

Well, you could always marry a dude.

There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.

Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”

The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.

Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?

Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.

But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage.  For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.

That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?

As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:

fig_19_series_23_no_22_p_27

But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).

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Bina
10 years ago

There are millions if people more sucessful than me but know your doing better than most of the lemmings when you are called a liar by half of the fools on this website. And to answer the other posters question I live alone and work from home. I do not own a home. I rent. Nobody can afford a home in Los Angeles anymore. The building I live in is scattered full of doctors, lawyers and engineers. To the commenter that said it would not matter if I made 178 million per year correction it doesn’t matter to you becuase you couldn’t get man with money if you tried. It’s a moot point. You couldn’t get a man with money if you tried. Not even one who makes 78k per year let alone my net profit of 178k in 2013. My revenues were over 800k. I do not need to prove anything to you aging SPINSTERS. I’m on here to balance this blog state facts and move on.

Bullshit. You are here to troll. Sad news, Mikey: NO ONE GIVES A SHIT FOR YOUR IMAGINARY SUCCESS.

Bina
10 years ago

Also, clearly SPINSTER is an acronym for something. Anyone know what it is? Society for the Protection of Intentionally Not-married (to Michael) Spinsters That Exist and Rejoice?

Supreme Perfected Intelligent Nonpareil Successful Terrific Excellent Ruler!

Bina
10 years ago

I’m educated

Cool story, bro. You can’t even spell their correctly, and you’ve swallowed the bullshit that is the Red Pill. Your education is nil.

Michael
Michael
10 years ago

@ Bina

THANK YOU!!!!

For future reference this is how you KNOW you’ve made a point and the other side has nothing concrete in reply.

When they are reduced to pointing out speeelling meeeestakes.

Michael
Michael
10 years ago

@ Bina

“Bullshit. You are here to troll.”

No. You wish I was. I’m here to make a point and positively influence the women who truly matter – those reading this blog in their twenties – so they don’t make the same mistakes as you did.

Now go walk your dog SPINSTER. Afterwards you can go to the grocery store to “pick up a few things” while you orbit the aisles and pray for what appears to be a quality man your own age – hoping he will notice you. And if that doesn’t work you can put yourself into his personal space and ask him dumb questions because you are used to sitting back and selecting what you want instead of gong after it so you never have to learn until now because your 35 and fabulous.

Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.

Myoo
Myoo
10 years ago

The building I live in is scattered full of doctors, lawyers and engineers.

I thought you lived DIRECTLY ON THE BEACH? Is it an apartment building on the beach? That doesn’t sound structurally sound. Or maybe it’s a time-share of some sort.

I spent YEARS as a hopeless romantic princess bride movie fantasizer thinking “when will I meet my true love” pedestalizing “nice guy” unaware of the post feminist modern reality of most Western women until I simply had no choice but to accept it.

“I spent years being one type of sexist asshole and then I became a different kind of sexist asshole!”.
Protip dude, pedestalizing women is not being a nice person, it’s just buying into old tired sexist tropes.

This is one nice guy you will not be victimizing[…]

You still haven’t got it dude, nobody here wants to “victimize” you. Seriously, just go away already, nobody cares.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
10 years ago

@Michael:

I’m here to make a point…

You did, you proved you’re an idiot. And now, instead of producing evidence like you’re been asked for, repeatedly, you’re doubling down further to personal attacks.

Yep, you’re so alpha bwahahahahahahaha. And such a *quality* guy too, with your insipid moralising, basic inability to understand the difference between subjective and objective measures, inability to understand science vs. pulling stuff out of your arse, and even just pulling stuff out of your arse.

And putting SPINSTER in all CAPS like ON THE BEACH is just so hurtful to our poor widdle feelings.

You’re trying to sell BS and no-one here is buying. You are the only one here who is pathetic. You’re the only one trying to make out how wonderful they are by weaving stories about business income, and how they live in an apartment block with super qualfied professionals – you are the biggest try-hard I have seen in a long time. If you’re so happy with who you are and what you are, why are you trying, repeatedly, to desperately “impress” a bunch of people who will never know you? The desperation just drips off your posts. I was going to suggest that you should quit while you’re ahead, but too late for that now.

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

Now go walk your dog SPINSTER. Afterwards you can go to the grocery store to “pick up a few things” while you orbit the aisles and pray for what appears to be a quality man your own age – hoping he will notice you. And if that doesn’t work you can put yourself into his personal space and ask him dumb questions because you are used to sitting back and selecting what you want instead of gong after it so you never have to learn until now because your 35 and fabulous.

Hahahhaha.

You are just dreadful at writing fiction. Oh, and Mr Education – that should be “you’re” not “your”.

kittehserf
10 years ago

I’m not knowledgable enough about beaches to know the ecosystem – maybe ectoparasitic lifeforms often nest there.

Heheheh

I saw what you did there, Fibi.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Mikeyboo: I hate to break it to you cupcake, but most of us here are married or in a relationship, so this isn’t the bastion of spinsterhood you seem to think it is, dickweed.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Hey Mikey, none of your ragefrothing is going to make any woman interested in you, so you might as well give it up. Have you the slightest idea* how repugnant you are, going by these rants? You make it so obvious you hate women. It probably radiates off you in person. Shit, you don’t even like animals (“go walk your dog, SPINSTER”).

Say, d’you think Mikey watched too much Get Smart as a kid? CONTROL and KAOS and now SPINSTER.

*rhetorical question, of course he hasn’t

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

I think that Mikey thinks Sex and the City was a documentary. It’s a common MRA failing.

katz
10 years ago

NO CLUE what 90% of you are talking about…

NO CLUE

That much I believe.

To the blonde feminist 26 years old and attractive in her photoshopped Gravatar

…Who?

PS I do not live in Venice. And yes, I DO live directly on the beach in Los Angeles.

So where, exactly, then? Because it’s sounding more and more like you’re squatting under the Santa Monica pier.

leatapp
leatapp
10 years ago

Sparky,
You hit that nail firmly on it’s miserable head. *slow clap*

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

MRAs know a whole lot more about Sex in the City than I do. I think I saw one half episode once. I found it annoying.

katz
10 years ago

For the record, I have looked exactly this attractive for around 2400 years. Well, I’ve had a little work done on my tail but that’s only because the original was lost.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

How many pieces will Mikey’s head explode into when he reads I got married at the advanced aged of 38? Or will the ass surrounding his head buffer and protect it?

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

Wow, I missed that newest rant until just now. Whose gravatar is a 26 year old blond woman? And can Michael tell people’s exact age just by looking at their photos? Maybe his business is being a carnival guesser.

“Wife goggles” is a term I have not heard before. lol.

Also, lol at rating his girlfriend an 8.5+. Could he get more specific? Is she an 8.7786?

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Why isn’t she a 9, Mikey?

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

“‘fabulous’photos can be taken today on your I-PHONE which are of higher quality than those of the 1980′s.”

Please add photography to the list of things that Mickey doesn’t understand cuz damn can someone who knows how to work an SLR camera can do things no iDevice could ever hope to do. F-stop, shutter speed, ISO…these mean anything to you? How about over and under exposure? Ok, let’s make this simple, can you even focus a camera manually?

cloudiah
10 years ago
Reply to  katz

About the blond gravatar, maybe he means me. I’m kinda blond. RAWR!!!

leatapp
leatapp
10 years ago

Michael,
So having multiple partners is sexually immoral? Why? Enjoying pleasure and affection with another person is a beautiful thing. You do know that “immoral” doesn’t mean “Things that make me jealous”, right?

For the record: Nothing about you sounds remotely attractive. I don’t care where you live, what you look like or how much you make. You wouldn’t be attractive if the world was covered in piss and you owned a boat. If you want to wallow in self pity and blame your wallowing on women, nobody can stop you. But it won’t make you happy and won’t fool anyone into thinking you’re smart or interesting. Grow a personality. Take responsibility for your own life and stop wasting your time hating women and being bitter that the people you hate have happy love lives (you assume) while you don’t. Envy isn’t pretty, Michael. Neither is bigotry. That’s your problem and only you can fix it.

mayimoktoo
mayimoktoo
10 years ago

About the blond gravatar, maybe he means me. I’m kinda blond. RAWR!!!

Maybe. Then again, he did say that his girlfriend was 23 but looked younger. So maybe he was talking to David?

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
10 years ago

objectively attractive

If you’re using ‘objective’ to mean the opposite of ‘subjective,’ this is a contradictory phrase.

That would mean that attractiveness is mind-independent, a quality that could be measured without reference to what anyone thinks about it, like humidity or something. But attractiveness is entirely what people think about each other. The concept is by definition subjective because measuring or defining attractiveness is the same thing as measuring or defining the extent to which people subjectively find someone attractive.

Also, seriously, dude

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling

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