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Dalrock on why men should avoid women who’ve wasted “a lot of courtship” and “used up their most attractive/fertile years.”

Woman with surplus courtship
Woman with surplus courtship

Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.

Here are a few of them:

Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP).  This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.

Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.

As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process.  However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.

Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.

But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!

Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.

He needs to manage risk vs reward.  When courting, there are two fundamental risks.  These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.

So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!

For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important.  The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.

Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.

Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.

This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”

And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”

That Churchill, what a card!

Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married;  unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.

Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)

They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …

Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma;  older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.

Well, you could always marry a dude.

There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.

Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”

The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.

Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?

Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.

But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage.  For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.

That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?

As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:

fig_19_series_23_no_22_p_27

But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).

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kittehserf
10 years ago

Hey, Mikey, my best friend lives in LA and is marrying this year.

She’s 50. Her fiance’s 40. He fell for her before she fell for him.

You’ll never have a love story to tell because you’re incapable of love.

gelar
gelar
10 years ago

This isn’t about “she ignored me in high school/college” and now shes going to be alone.

Why would I ever be interested in spending thousands of dollars on some past her prime, been there done that, jaded 30+ women who’s “had her fun” (while ignoring me)

I have nothing constructive to say, other than I thought this was very funny.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

If an older man had asked me to go to North Carolina with him when I was in my early twenties I’d have died of boredom. Literally shook off my earthy coil right there at the prospect of being trapped in a hotel room with someone dull enough to think that was an enticing offer that I should be thrilled to recieve.

I would feel so sorry for any young woman dating this guy. Good thing she’s probably imaginary, huh?

katz
10 years ago

I live in the SPINSTER capital of the U.S. Los Angeles, CA.

I suspect most of the women on this site are 30+ singles and SPINSTERS.

It doesn’t actually matter, but speaking as an under-30 married woman, you are just getting more and more hilarious. Please, go ahead and add more details to your claim about people who will never, ever be married. I’ll make some suggestions:

-Women with more than 3 cats

-Brunettes

-Women who aren’t on Facebook

-Glasses wearers

-RPG players

-Women with a lot of concrete rubble in their backyards

-Women who are writing stories about Soviet aviatrices

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Also I wonder if Mikey may be our old blog virus again, given the way he’s fixating on me and ignoring Bina and others who’re saying exactly the same things.

katz
10 years ago

Speaking as an under-30 married woman in LA, that is.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Will never be married because SPINSTERS

Women who write books

Women who read books

Women who piss Mikey off by not having low enough self-esteem and WHY DIDN’T YOU GO TO THE PROM WITH ME YOU EVIL BITCH? YEAH WELL, SEE WHO’S LAUGHING NOW, YOU’RE GOING TO BE A SPINSTER.

His high-school reunions are really going to suck for him, seeing all those women who rejected him talking about their husbands and kids.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

Michael says:

I’m not interested

Once again, I say:

OH WELL.

Sucks to be us. Except it doesn’t.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

I don’t think he’s quite getting the fact that nobody here cares if he never gets married yet. Maybe glove puppets would help?

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

I find it terribly amusing how Mikey keeps spewing walls of texts insisting that everyone here must be completely miserable (much evidence to the contrary), and if he keeps repeating this over and over it will somehow magically going to make it true. And the 99.99% thrown in there. Random and unreasonably high. That was a nice touch.

Maybe glove puppets would help?

Big Bird and Elmo explain how loser assholes refusing to marry women is really not a huge threat to women. They are then joined by the Dixie Chicks, and they all sing the song, “Just Go Your Own Way, Already.”

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

There’s a really shitty Motley Crue song called “Don’t Go Away Mad, Just Go Away”. See, even misogynistic cock rock bands agree that Mikey’s best course of action would be to actually go his own way instead of trying to scare young women into dating men they’re not interested in.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

Your youth and fertility are sensed by men. ***Also your innocence or lack or experience. ****

Saying lack of experience is what makes younger women so much more attractive to you is a not-so-great-way to make it look like you aren’t creepy.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Well, be fair, saying “your lack of experience makes you a more appealing victim” would be too obvious. Mikey wouldn’t want to appear crass.

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

Also your innocence or lack or experience. That’s another thing. Experience. The older women become not only are they less desirable in physical appearance with declining fertility they are more experienced and thus jaded.

How many times have we said that these men are targeting young women and teens because women their own ages, having experienced adult romantic/sexual relationships, are more likely to see through their manipulative bullshit? Nice of Michael to spell it out for us.

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

You ninjakitties!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

If Mikey really is in LA I wonder if he contributed to that Women of LA video.

serrana
serrana
10 years ago

I bet Michael is the worst mansplainer in history when you meet him in person. There’s a reason why I swore off guys more than a couple of years older than me when I was 20.

I know there are plenty of relationships with an age difference that work out great, but those are when the couple have things in common. Starting when I was 17 or so, I was attracting a lot of older guys who were only interested in me because of my youth and looks. They were always those guys who thought they were so smart but were too stupid to know how much they didn’t know.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

In Mikey’s case you have to admit that he’s probably right, if he married one of the young women he chases after she probably would divorce him in a few years. Which is why I completely support his plan to never get married. In fact, we should start a trend where MGTOW wear rings to indicate their special marriage-avoiding status. Like purity rings, but for bitter misogynists.

cupisnique
10 years ago

I may only be 26 but my life experience has taught me that people can fall in love at any age, I’ve witnessed it over and over. But it doesn’t matter anyway because as many people have already mentioned no relationship would be preferable to dating a raving a-hole such as Mikey. Your attempts at scaring us are really pathetic. I’ve heard many variations of that experience = bad, innocent = good crap that any person looking for a real relationship would never espouse, so whatevs. Dating when you are young teaches you about yourself and what kind of person you are looking for in a partnership, unless you are lucky to find someone that just works early on. But, most people don’t know themselves until they are older.

Telling women that they have to attach themselves early on to a guy doesn’t really jive with the mentality that men have to be sexually promiscuous to be dudely bros. Wouldn’t marrying at 20 emasculate a man? So pretty much, women should try to get a man to marry her at an early age even though he either wants to sleep around himself or he will dump her when shes past her prime anyway. Great piece of advice. OR we could find an actual human being to have a relationship with.

I’m very grateful that I mostly only encounter morons like this guy on the internet and not in real life.

katz
10 years ago

“Frankly we do not need lesbian and gay statistics clouding the data.”

Of course, you’re not ignoring them, you’re just specifically excluding them because you don’t find them valuable to your views.

Proving that he’s dumb as a box of hair, because the fact that GLBT people exist means that they are skewing the data unless someone breaks them out.

kittehserf
10 years ago

But LGBT people don’t count, because they’re not the ones Mikey thinks he has any chance of fucking. Not that his chances with hetero women are any better, of course.

Sam-I-Was?
Sam-I-Was?
10 years ago

Michael, I had a witty comment all typed up but couldn’t be arsed to post it. Rule of thumb, whenever you are posting about things that will happen because YOU SAY SO, including said capital letters, scare quotes or vague statements warning that eventually you will be right doesn’t help boost your credibility. You can tell me every day that it will rain and just because you are correct one day doesn’t make you a psychic.

If you are in fact as you describe yourself (big fucking if) have at it and enjoy your life. But don’t think that all of the evil feminists are missing out. Your sperm isn’t liquid gold that will save the world. It is very rare that a person is special in any way that effects the opinions of a majority of others. But that’s ok! What matters in the end is how you live your life, and if you choose to live it by having to justifying your existence to anonymous people on the internet to make yourself feel better you have my pity.

Off to tell my Nana who got married at 90 that it’s a sham. I expect I might drown from her tears.

katz
10 years ago

But LGBT people don’t count, because they’re not the ones Mikey thinks he has any chance of fucking. Not that his chances with hetero women are any better, of course.

Right, but when he says “x percent of women are spinsters,” then that includes lesbians unless he specifically breaks them out of the data. Not caring about them doesn’t make them vanish from statistics.

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