Heartiste: Evil feminists are trying to “legitimize the biologically innate female imperative to f**k alpha males during ovulation and extract resources from beta males during infertile periods.”

The narcissistic racist pickup artist guru who goes by the ridiculous nickname Heartiste is a bit of an excitable fellow.

What’s got his man-panties in a bunch at the moment is an article on Slate noting that a small number of family therapists have begun to suggest that an affair might not mean the end of a marriage — and that in some cases a mature discussion of the raw feelings exposed by the discovery of an affair might possibly lead instead to a — gasp! — stronger marriage.

This isn’t exactly a revolutionary insight, and the therapists aren’t exactly urging married couples to all sign up to attend the next Polyamory Meetup in their town. But Heartiste is outraged. Though the word “feminism” isn’t uttered a single time in the Slate article, he has decided that it is proof of “The Feminist Push To Sanction Female Infidelity.” As he explains, in his typically overheated prose:

What feminists are attempting to do here is nothing short of legitimize the biologically innate female imperative to fuck alpha males during ovulation and extract resources from beta males during infertile periods of the monthly cycle.

You might think this is just some weird misogynistic crap he’s cooked up, but he DID say “biologically innate female imperative,” so it must be SCIENCE.

CH predicted it: Feminists and various “health professionals” would agitate to normalize the “alpha fux, beta bux” female mating strategy. As society becomes ever more feminized and emasculated, expect to see more of these rancid ideas percolate in mainstream discussion, as the pro-female directive and anti-male directive reach their demonic apotheoses.

Yes, he did indeed just say “their demonic apotheoses.” Heartiste is a bit of a drama king.

You might say, “Well, this means men can be unfaithful without consequence, too!” Oh, ye of precious naivete. Men won’t be let off the hook. The divorce industrial and family court complexes are rigged against the interests of men, and getting more rigged by the day. An army of leftoids fed on the swill of legalese will barely break a sweat holding the contradictory beliefs that women cheat for good reasons and men cheat because they’re oppressive patriarchs.

Eventually, with the help of dazzling sophistry, the law will be twisted to such a warped geometry that the people will come to accept injustice as fairness and lies as truth.

I think what he just said is that women will be allowed to get away with cheating, but men won’t.

Heartiste then goes on to suggest, naturally, that while female infidelity is inherently EEEEEEVIIL , male infidelity is no big deal, because reasons.

And then he just completely buries his head up his reactionary ass:

Feminism is the sick, wheezing spawn of its parent ideology, equalism, the belief in a magical flying spaghetti monster that imbues all humans with equal ability and equal worth, interchangeable flesh cogs that can as easily master astrophysics as lawn care given the right dose of self-esteem boosting pablum.

Oh, he’s not done yet:

Whatever the self-professed noble intentions of their advocates, these ideologies are as wicked and destructive as any genocidal revolutions that have come before them.

Yep, a couple of therapists saying “hey, maybe couples can work through affairs and come out better for it” is the equivalant of Auschwitz.

This is why CH, a citadel firm, guarded by sentries of ancient woods, illuminating a path to enlightenment, will never cease in its mission to utterly crush evil, sick ideologies like feminism so totally that there is no space for even the ashes of its immolation to gather in a stiff wind.

I think he must be drunk. “Sentries of ancient woods?” Are elves guarding his condo?

He ends with this final fantasy:

Feminism’s proponents will suffer endless ridicule should they choose to fight, or they will retreat from the public square to lick their wounds in the comfort of their silent seething thoughts. And, if the spoils of victory are rich indeed, some will self-deliver to release the pain.

Why do so many right-wingers write like this? Do they actually think this pompous nonsense makes them sound smart? I guess they must.

Well, back to my silent seething thoughts. And perhaps a light snack.