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Men’s Rights Public Relations: Don’t call all women crazy bitches, even if they totally are, because feminists might catch you.

This quote from the Men’s Rights subreddit was featured on the Against Men’s Rights subreddit a week ago, but I can’t resist reposting it here, since it’s such a marvellous distillation of Men’s Rights LOGICS at work.

jabberwockysuperfly 60 points 7 days ago (93|33)  We appreciate your solidarity. However, please refrain from making statements like "women are all crazy bitches" regardless of how true it might be; feminists mine this subreddit in the hope of finding this kind of statement so they can use it to discredit this movement.      permalink     source     save     give gold     hide child comments  [–]lolyesok [S] 30 points 7 days ago (33|3)  Woops, I'll edit that out when I get to a computer.      permalink     source     save     parent     give gold  [–]theskepticalidealist 15 points 6 days ago (19|4)  They'll quote that too.

That’s right: while we of course agree that women are all crazy bitches, we generally don’t like to say that sort of thing out loud, at least here in this subreddit, because our actual opinions are so foul they discredit us every time we say them out loud in public and the evil feminists cherry-pick our statements and reveal to the world WHAT WE ACTUALLY BELIEVE.

And jabberwockeysuperfly won himself 60 upvotes for that wondrous bit of SUPER STEM MANLOGICS.

Later in the discussion, our dear old friend Pecanpig clarified that even if there are some women who aren’t crazy bitches, they’re definitely a bunch of bad … oranges?

dejour 13 points 7 days ago (29|16)  It's not true though that all women are crazy bitches. So she shouldn't be saying that. For me the point though is that some women are and the legal system and public shouldn't assume that women=good, man=bad.      permalink     source     parent     save     give gold     hide child comments  [–]Pecanpig 5 points 6 days ago (8|3)  Depends on individual circumstances, if you eat 10 oranges and they are all bad then for all intents and purposes oranges are bad, that can be true despite contradicting your own experiences with oranges or whatever.

Orange you a strange one, Pecanpig.

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kittehserf
7 years ago

I was gonna make an Agent Orange joke but you beat me to it! 😀

vaiyt
7 years ago

That’s what makes parodying these mofos so hard. You can’t make up this stuff.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Hey now, we can safely assume both sides of that one sheep are black, seeing how I don’t think sheep split down the middle…though I guess it is possible if two embryos fuse (do sheep have more than one per birth? I know twins are very dangerous for larger farm animals, so I kinda doubt it)

…but yes, while highly improbable, I guess all we can conclusively say is that there’s at least one field with at least one sheep, of which at least one side is black. I’m willing to apply Bayesian stats here though and say odds are high that there are black sheep in Scotland.

Falconer
7 years ago

women =good and men =bad?? i think bad or good someone can be judged from their personalities

Well, yeah. We just had a troll, who hasn’t been around in the past year, whose favorite “gotcha!!” was to claim women=good and men=bad was our attitude.

Falconer
7 years ago

So there was this experiment. Some behavioral scientists took an experimental physicist, a theoretical physicist, and a mathematician, gave them each a large can of beans, and locked them in separate rooms for a week.

At the end of the week, they opened the separate rooms and observed what they found.

The experimental physicist’s room was badly abused, it had dents in the drywall and shattered acoustic tiles. In one spot there was a splatter of bean juice that had been largely scraped up. The can was empty. The first physicist was in perfect health, although a bit sick of beans.

The theoretical physicist’s room was covered in scrawled equations, which all pointed to this one spot in the room that had a splash of bean juice. The theoretical physicist was happy and healthy and asked for more beans.

The mathematician, unfortunately, was in ill health when they opened his room. All of the walls and the floor were covered in cramped handwriting. The mathematician was found curled up in the middle of the room around his can of beans, muttering something.

The scientists drew closer and managed to hear him say,

I define the can as open.
I define the can as open.
I define the can as open.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Some PR advice for MRAs: You might consider not upvoting comments arguing that the proper punishment for paternity fraud is murder:

http://www.reddit.com/r/againstmensrights/comments/1qj201/nothing_could_please_me_more_than_someone_putting/

leftwingfox
7 years ago

I was gonna make an Agent Orange joke but you beat me to it!

This is getting OT, but that reminded me of this article Ed Brayton pointed to about Romney’s hunt for a VP and Gov. Christie’s terminal bouts of assholism.

Based on their junk-food-saturated vetting diet, they called their undertaking Project Goldfish (after the crackers)—ultimately giving each of the VP finalists an aquatic code name. […]

Within a month, the vetters had assembled preliminary research books on the 11, which Romney perused and then rendered his short list: Christie (Pufferfish), Pawlenty (Lakefish), Portman (Filet o Fish), Rubio (Pescado) and Ryan (Fishconsin).

While most of those show what level of maturity Romeny’s staffers were working from, “Fishconsin” cracks me the hell up.

takshak
takshak
7 years ago

So, given how *concerned* MRAs are about men’s issues, they’re all heavily promoting Movember, right?

right?

right?

( http://ca.movember.com/about )

katz
7 years ago

Off-topic: Sigh. We all new it was going to happen, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Katz: please hand me my eyes, they rolled out of my head.

chibigodzilla
7 years ago

Damn. NOt having hear about this before, I had dared to hope she had kicked his ass to the curb and made a snarky blog about sandwiches she was making for herself. I was sorely disappointed.

serrana
serrana
7 years ago

Coming to a Half Price Books near you soon!

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

And it’s coming out on Valentines Day. Isn’t that just precious.

🙄

Falconer
7 years ago

Erm. Did you get your eyes back, hellkell? ‘Cause I just found a blue one with hazel highlights.

kittehserf
7 years ago

(do sheep have more than one per birth? I know twins are very dangerous for larger farm animals, so I kinda doubt it)

Twins are quite common for sheep; I think they even have triplets sometimes.

katz
7 years ago

To become an internet celebrity:

If male: Be an ex-child star, record acerbic media reviews, or do comedy.

If female: Become one of Meller’s dolls.

pecunium
7 years ago

Sheep and goats twin regularly.

leftwingfox
7 years ago

If female: Become one of Meller’s dolls.

squick

cloudiah
7 years ago

Falconer, could you look for my eyes too? Dark blue. Check under the couch.

katz
7 years ago

Maybe we should add a 24 ct box of eyes to the welcome package.

freemage
freemage
7 years ago

Sorry I’ve been AWOL lately, folks–work’s gotten busy, so I usually just have time to read the column real quick.

On this one: The funny thing is, if it weren’t for the “they’ll use this against us” line, this probably would’ve been lost in the bland sea of misogyny that is the Men’s Rights Reddit. It’s the complete hypocrisy of the ‘correction’ that makes it notable and mockworthy.

cloudiah
7 years ago

:: waves at freemage ::

Falconer
7 years ago

I got a whole box of ’em what I have fished out from under the couch. Let me look there.

I tell ya, most of these musta come from the lurkers. If they all came from active Boobzers we’d all be blind by now.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Falconer: If you see some brown eyes, those would be mine.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Hazel, working their way from blue inside to brown outside.

And that’s nifty, I didn’t realize smaller farm animals didn’t have that problem with twins. Increases the odds that the hypothetical sheep is actually split down the middle from embryos joining. Not enough for it’s probably a black sheep to no longer apply, because that’s really rare in the first place, but all the same, nifty.

katz
7 years ago

So a purely hypothetical question:

If someone were to start a blog that begins as an adorable young sundress-wearing woman embarking on some kind of appropriately feminine enterprise in order to find herself but then gradually devolved into macabre horror and was at the end revealed to be a modern retelling of The Yellow Wallpaper, what kind of activity could she do?

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

OT but fun! The state-owned TV channel over here makes a big period piece TV series every Christmas. This year’s period piece will center around a group of suffragettes!

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

I think my eyes achieved escape speed. If anyone finds a pair of dark brown eyes in low orbit around the earth, those would be mine.

katz
7 years ago

I think my eyes achieved escape speed. If anyone finds a pair of dark brown eyes in low orbit around the earth, those would be mine.

Eyesteroids? Meteyeors? Unidentified Fleyeing Objects?

serrana
serrana
7 years ago

If someone were to start a blog that begins as an adorable young sundress-wearing woman embarking on some kind of appropriately feminine enterprise in order to find herself but then gradually devolved into macabre horror and was at the end revealed to be a modern retelling of The Yellow Wallpaper, what kind of activity could she do?

Decorate the house, of course. It would be awesome if her blog was a combination mommy blog/decorating blog. Maybe she wanted to go back to work after her baby was born but her husband pushed her really hard to stay home and decorate the house instead. The yellow wallpaper could be inside the wallpaper sample book, even. Maybe she secretly hates wallpaper but thinks she is supposed to have it.

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

katz – The Intereyetional Space Station. *nod*

serrana
serrana
7 years ago
sparky
sparky
7 years ago

katz:

So a purely hypothetical question:

If someone were to start a blog that begins as an adorable young sundress-wearing woman embarking on some kind of appropriately feminine enterprise in order to find herself but then gradually devolved into macabre horror and was at the end revealed to be a modern retelling of The Yellow Wallpaper, what kind of activity could she do?

I think this sounds like it would be good read.

Hmmm. Baking cupcakes maybe? Or tatting doilies? Or trying 300 different shades of lipstick? Though I like both cupcakes and lipstick, and doily tatting takes skillz; they are all kind of stereotypically feminine activities. Or how about 300 loads of laundry? 300 days of ironing boyfriend’s shirts for work?

cloudiah
7 years ago

@katz, Scrapbooking maybe? It would allow you to shut her up in one room, for one thing.

katz
7 years ago

Decorate the house, of course. It would be awesome if her blog was a combination mommy blog/decorating blog. Maybe she wanted to go back to work after her baby was born but her husband pushed her really hard to stay home and decorate the house instead. The yellow wallpaper could be inside the wallpaper sample book, even. Maybe she secretly hates wallpaper but thinks she is supposed to have it.

That would totally work. I was definitely planning on having a baby blog aspect where it starts as a typical happy bouncy new-mom thing, but gradually it becomes clear that she’s actually struggling with crippling post-partum depression, and then stuff starts going wrong. She begins neglecting the baby. There are near accidents and close calls. But she doesn’t seem to realize there’s a problem…

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

sparky – 300 days of house cleaning?

I want to write a short story and run with it.

cloudiah
7 years ago

By the way, this is a thing.

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

katz – Hm. Maybe we can have a continuing story for Feminist Borg?

katz
7 years ago

@katz, Scrapbooking maybe? It would allow you to shut her up in one room, for one thing.

Ooh, that’s good: Thematically similar to house decorating, yet I don’t have to actually decorate an entire house to get pictures of it. Plus there are tons of scrapbookers online so I’d totally get traffic.

What’s an achievable scrapbooking goal that you could do in, say, a year? It’s best if it’s a more concrete goalpost than an arbitrary number.

moldybrehd
7 years ago

Thanks cloudiah, I successfully managed to avoid reading about the 300 sammiches only to lose my eyes over that.

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

cloudiah – This might just be me, but this advertisement is pissing me off.

Am I overreacting? I hate it when people use my culture as some sort of exotic buzzword.

serrana
serrana
7 years ago

You could get around not having any pictures of the baby by saying that her husband forbids it.

katz
7 years ago

Am I overreacting? I hate it when people use my culture as some sort of exotic buzzword.

No, you are not overreacting. I’m actually kind of amazed that someone today would non-ironically say “secrets of the Orient,” although I shouldn’t be.

serrana
serrana
7 years ago

Oh that ad is gross.

cloudiah
7 years ago

@Alice, I didn’t even see that — and somehow, I am not surprised that would appear there.

I’m down the rabbit hole looking at scrapbooking blogs…

freemage
freemage
7 years ago

Alice Sanguinaria: If anything, you’re under-reacting. I mean, they go so far as to conflate India, China and Japan as a single monolithic “Asian” bloc? What the fucking fuck? Even my admittedly ignorant American ass can distinguish between those three well enough to see that it’s absurd to do. Also, what the hell is “lethal femininity”? Sounds like an MRA term….

And then, of course, there’s the hideous design. Random colorization of words and sentences, using red and green text with no particular purpose or meaning… It’s the gift that keeps on giving, and by “gift” I mean “cess-pool” and by “giving” I mean “spewing noxious fumes”.

Makes me wish we had a long-range, precision-targeted Lego gun that would let us shoot them to land directly under people’s feet….

cloudiah
7 years ago

Maybe she’s scrapbooking to document each day in her baby’s first year? Well, maybe not if you want her to gradually grow to neglect (resent) the baby… Or it could be about the things she’s doing in her craft room. Ordering all her supplies online, making weirder and weirder projects…

Falconer
7 years ago

My Beloved has a hobby.

Her hobby is toppling empires with her +5 keen flaming holy vorpal two-handed sword and her Improved Critical feat.

Or it’s shooting zombies in the head (Resident Evil 6 is fun with a second player, tangentially).

Or it’s finding the best possible turn of phrase with which to convey her story.

She doesn’t do any of that to attract a guy (she’s already got me, but I digress). She does them because she enjoys them.

serrana
serrana
7 years ago

Maybe she starts out scrapbooking about the baby, then as her depression gets worse, she starts scrapbooking about scrapbooking, then blogging about how she can’t finish the pages now because they (the scrapbook pages) won’t let her…