If you’re starting up a political movement and want to get the asses into the seats — and then out into the streets — it’s helpful to have a stirring manifesto.
Here’s the opening of the Communist Manifesto.
A spectre is haunting Europe — the spectre of communism. All the powers of old Europe have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Pope and Tsar, Metternich and Guizot, French Radicals and German police-spies.
That’s pretty good, you gotta admit. Like the start of an action movie.
And then there’s the classic opening of our own Declaration of Independence. Not quite as dramatic, but pretty damn stately. It starts off with all that “[w]hen in the Course of human events” stuff, and then, BAM:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
That is, like, really quotable and shit.
Well, our old friend Fidelbogen has been doing some manifesto writing of his own. Let’s see how his new manifesto stands up against these classics.
The Manifesto of Coalition JS38
JS38 – Operational Overview
JS38 is a coalition of politically conscious non-feminist groups and individuals. The name itself is a random character string which serves only as an identification tag. As a project, JS38 is designed to overcome the problems which labels often generate – such problems as branding, false grouping, conflation, stereotypification, message degradation and the like.
What What WHAT?! You’ve named your movement after A RANDOM CHARACTER STRING?
Fidelbogen apparently thinks he’s writing a manifesto for robots.
Let’s see if he can pick up the pace a bit in the second paragraph:
We recognize that we are in a contest to sway hearts and minds.
Yeah, nothing wins hearts and minds faster than random character strings.
We recognize that this contest is played out on the field of public rhetoric – by which we mean things popularly said and heard. We strive, accordingly, to craft a message as well as we are able.
Dude, I hate to break it to you, but you are about as talented at crafting messages as I am at ballet dancing. The difference between the two of us is that I don’t post videos of myself trying to ballet dance on the internet, while you have a blog entirely — if inadvertently — devoted to documenting your failures to “craft messages” with any kind of skill. (And of course there’s your amazing Twitter account.)
The operation of JS38 will boost and clarify the signal of our selected message and cut through the background noise. In this way, the message will gain a more individuated presence within the public discourse.
Uh, see what I mean? Then Fidey, having set forth no reasons whatsoever for anyone to get involved in his little project, gets into the nitty-gritty of how it will work:
Members of JS38 (called “signatories”) are aligned with each other under the terms of a Prime Constitution – a list of points that encompass a mission, a code of principles, and a practical worldview.
He continues on in this fashion for approximately one million words (rough estimate). Here are some more snippets, to give you a flavor:
JS38 is neither a moral collective nor an organization in any sense, but only a joint intellectual effort to distill a message signal, and to differentiate this from what other feminist-averse groups and individuals are transmitting. …
If we establish that an octagon is an eight-sided geometrical figure, the truth of that message remains uncompromised by the messenger. Even if Stalin or Caligula declared that an octagon was an eight-sided geometrical figure, it would not become a nine-sided or seven-sided figure. …
The points in the Prime Constitution are not listed in order of priority, and there is no linear progression of ideas from one item to the next. However, the items do form a loose holographic unity. …
Ideally, every sub-constitution would list its entire chain of linkages, leading eventually back to the Prime Constitution, which is deemed canonical. In the end, this would generate a pyramidal structure of variations which cascade from the Prime Constitution. …
We value self-containment and aplomb in our spoken and written communications. Furthermore, we believe it is good practice to “think like a lawyer.” …
We define our method as query-based rather than theory-based – although it is true that we theorize. But feminism owes us answers, and not the reverse. Thus, if we declare that “feminism is x”, we are expecting proof that feminism is NOT x, and shall expect our concerns to be sensitively and respectfully addressed. …
If a particular idea is not expressly stated in this document, it cannot be attributed to the document. Equally, however, it cannot be said that the document excludes it. …
We seek to bring about a decolonization of the non-feminist mind. To that end, we claim an epistemic standpoint independent of feminist discourse, and from said standpoint we develop a counter-discourse. …
We assert the prerogative to define feminism in absolute terms in the light of our own study, regardless of feminist objection to such a proceeding. Simply put, feminism categorically IS what WE say it is. …
We assert that feminism is like a product that must be sold, and that nobody is obligated to buy. …
I’m thinking that Fidelbogen’s He Man Antifeminism Club 4NtevaSh — sorry, “Coalition JS38“ — isn’t going to be making a lot of sales itself.
“Prime Constitution ?” Is this vernacular borrowed from Star Trek as in the “Prime Directive ?”
“The name itself is a random character string which serves only as an identification tag. As a project, JS38 is designed to overcome the problems which labels often generate – such problems as branding, false grouping, conflation, stereotypification, message degradation and the like.”
Nah blud, I assert the prerogative to define JS38 in absolute terms in the light of my own study, regardless of JS38 objection to such a proceeding and I say that JS38 stands for Jerkish Smegheads 38.
He can call it Prime; that’s his Choice. Me, I don’t think it’s even Good.
I lol’d at “activists of Gor”
“But feminism owes us answers, and not the reverse. Thus, if we declare that “feminism is x”, we are expecting proof that feminism is NOT x, and shall expect our concerns to be sensitively and respectfully addressed.”
Please see “Burden of Proof”.
As in: YOU ARE DOING IT ENTIRELY WRONG
Whoops, should have read the comments first >_>
Carlito, that’s hilarious, I was thinking Transformers when I read it. Michael Bay’s Transformers 4: The Rise of Constitutional Prime.
Also, big thanks to everyone who stopped by my blog to give it a look 🙂
Say, does anyone know if Elizabeth Vargas’ 20/20 special will ever air? I was in the comments of the 20/20 FB page battling it out with the self-satisfied MRA masses, because I was REALLY excited about the special 😛
“Show me the line in the constitution where it says the words, ‘separation of church and state.’”
This is like saying, “Show me the line in the constitution where it says the words, ‘The army cannot use the homes of private citizens to house soldiers without legal prescription.”
RE: katz
So they can’t just look at pretty landscape pictures: They have to like the pretty landscapes because they’re MEN.
*sigh* I honestly have this issue with a lot of activists. I mean, the causes are noble, but you need a life OUTSIDE of that or you’ll burn out like a freakin’ meteor.
Also, you know what I love about Manboobz? I learn all about things like what NOT to put on my junk.
Pecunium — tiger balm is method based too. Not really the right texture to go unnoticed in hand cream though.
Menthol
Fuck you autocorrect
So, essentially it’s a pyramid scheme? Send out a sub-constitution to ten people and get 10,000 sub-constitutions back in return?
Yeah, like selling Mary Kaye Cosmetics, only you don’t look better after.
The idea, I think, is:
1. Distance himself from AVFM, which he joined and supported and wrote for until recently. I think he’s frightened of the rage-machines therein. But his quotes will stick.
2. Have some intellectual fun. He never had any real reason to be an MRA; no problem that made him bitter, especially in marriage, like Elam, Canning. and so on. He’s bored, I think: he doesn’t really work, he noodles out these expensive scifi tales as he has for decades without a profit. I’d be looking for a way to add to my self-esteem too, if I were he. It’s rough to be grandiose and going nowhere.
3. Blame somebody besides himself for being in his 60s (he photoshops his visage and lies about his age in his profiles) with not much to show for it. Women are doing much too well, from his point of view. How he negotiates his wife supporting him for decades I don’t know, I’m not a shrink. but I have my suspicions about his deeper motivations.
How do I know who this guy is? Five minutes of intelligent googling. But I don’t believe in doxxing, except if a woman who he has attacked needs help, to sue him or to assess his potential for violence. In that case, write David, he’ll find me.
BTW, what I’m saying isn’t necessarily the opinion of the blog owner. Publishing this comment does not mean David agrees with me.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
… If FiddleBooger photoshops his pics, he really needs to do a better job of it. He looks like Snape’s ugly brother.
Yeah. Poking around his IRL sites one sees a photo of him in the 70s in the Coast Guard when he had ‘staches. The sideburns had to be made misty, though, with photoshopping. What nerve – to pretend he’s 40 years younger.
The real doofus is a dumpy, VERY tiny older man in a v-neck sweater with a good mind and a losing strategy involving donuts, who can’t afford to have his family and church know what he’s up to. Violence? No. Malice? In spades. Best bet at this point? Retire. You don’t give a shit about men’s rights and your attacks on women are baseless b.s.
Elam is different. He’ll die frothing. Let it be.
Elam couldn’t be frothier if he had rabies, I swear.
“A losing strategy involving donuts” is the most appropriate comment I could imagine about Fidelbogen. 😀
Hee hee, tru stuff, kitteh. Galoshes are also involved.
At least he didn’t pretend he was Montgomery Clift.
I’ve yet to see any evidence of this.
Or his nephew!
Hi, Cassandra, well, I always appreciate anybody who can write in full sentences mostly. What they say, that’s another story.
Fido’s sentences aren’t so much full as bloated.
If Fiddly’s sentences were any more bloated I’d expect them to start vomiting.
One imagines him taking a panoply of anti-gas supplements each morning at the computer. But these problems are hard to bring under control. I can relate, I take digestives and iron.
Peppermint oil tablets for me.
Fidy’s sentences tend to be a lot of stench and fury, signifying nothing.