If you’re starting up a political movement and want to get the asses into the seats — and then out into the streets — it’s helpful to have a stirring manifesto.
Here’s the opening of the Communist Manifesto.
A spectre is haunting Europe — the spectre of communism. All the powers of old Europe have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Pope and Tsar, Metternich and Guizot, French Radicals and German police-spies.
That’s pretty good, you gotta admit. Like the start of an action movie.
And then there’s the classic opening of our own Declaration of Independence. Not quite as dramatic, but pretty damn stately. It starts off with all that “[w]hen in the Course of human events” stuff, and then, BAM:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
That is, like, really quotable and shit.
Well, our old friend Fidelbogen has been doing some manifesto writing of his own. Let’s see how his new manifesto stands up against these classics.
The Manifesto of Coalition JS38
JS38 – Operational Overview
JS38 is a coalition of politically conscious non-feminist groups and individuals. The name itself is a random character string which serves only as an identification tag. As a project, JS38 is designed to overcome the problems which labels often generate – such problems as branding, false grouping, conflation, stereotypification, message degradation and the like.
What What WHAT?! You’ve named your movement after A RANDOM CHARACTER STRING?
Fidelbogen apparently thinks he’s writing a manifesto for robots.
Let’s see if he can pick up the pace a bit in the second paragraph:
We recognize that we are in a contest to sway hearts and minds.
Yeah, nothing wins hearts and minds faster than random character strings.
We recognize that this contest is played out on the field of public rhetoric – by which we mean things popularly said and heard. We strive, accordingly, to craft a message as well as we are able.
Dude, I hate to break it to you, but you are about as talented at crafting messages as I am at ballet dancing. The difference between the two of us is that I don’t post videos of myself trying to ballet dance on the internet, while you have a blog entirely — if inadvertently — devoted to documenting your failures to “craft messages” with any kind of skill. (And of course there’s your amazing Twitter account.)
The operation of JS38 will boost and clarify the signal of our selected message and cut through the background noise. In this way, the message will gain a more individuated presence within the public discourse.
Uh, see what I mean? Then Fidey, having set forth no reasons whatsoever for anyone to get involved in his little project, gets into the nitty-gritty of how it will work:
Members of JS38 (called “signatories”) are aligned with each other under the terms of a Prime Constitution – a list of points that encompass a mission, a code of principles, and a practical worldview.
He continues on in this fashion for approximately one million words (rough estimate). Here are some more snippets, to give you a flavor:
JS38 is neither a moral collective nor an organization in any sense, but only a joint intellectual effort to distill a message signal, and to differentiate this from what other feminist-averse groups and individuals are transmitting. …
If we establish that an octagon is an eight-sided geometrical figure, the truth of that message remains uncompromised by the messenger. Even if Stalin or Caligula declared that an octagon was an eight-sided geometrical figure, it would not become a nine-sided or seven-sided figure. …
The points in the Prime Constitution are not listed in order of priority, and there is no linear progression of ideas from one item to the next. However, the items do form a loose holographic unity. …
Ideally, every sub-constitution would list its entire chain of linkages, leading eventually back to the Prime Constitution, which is deemed canonical. In the end, this would generate a pyramidal structure of variations which cascade from the Prime Constitution. …
We value self-containment and aplomb in our spoken and written communications. Furthermore, we believe it is good practice to “think like a lawyer.” …
We define our method as query-based rather than theory-based – although it is true that we theorize. But feminism owes us answers, and not the reverse. Thus, if we declare that “feminism is x”, we are expecting proof that feminism is NOT x, and shall expect our concerns to be sensitively and respectfully addressed. …
If a particular idea is not expressly stated in this document, it cannot be attributed to the document. Equally, however, it cannot be said that the document excludes it. …
We seek to bring about a decolonization of the non-feminist mind. To that end, we claim an epistemic standpoint independent of feminist discourse, and from said standpoint we develop a counter-discourse. …
We assert the prerogative to define feminism in absolute terms in the light of our own study, regardless of feminist objection to such a proceeding. Simply put, feminism categorically IS what WE say it is. …
We assert that feminism is like a product that must be sold, and that nobody is obligated to buy. …
I’m thinking that Fidelbogen’s He Man Antifeminism Club 4NtevaSh — sorry, “Coalition JS38“ — isn’t going to be making a lot of sales itself.
We assert the prerogative to define Fidelbogan in absolute terms in the light of our own study, regardless of MRA objection to such a proceeding. Simply put, misandry categorically IS what WE say it is. …
Hey look, I can write bullshit too! Words are magic! If I say something, no one can contradict me! Because!
Because you can totally prove a negative. Burden of proof fail.
Now we know what Lovecraft would have written like had he gone into political science instead of weird fiction. I’d rather reread “Horror at Red Hook” than a page of this drek.
To be fair, we did go over this all with some troll lately – I think it was the Asshat McGee episode? – and you can, in fact, prove some negatives. It’s universal negatives or some such (that X exists literally nowhere, for example: things that would require literal omniscience to ascertain) that can’t be proven. That doesn’t mean that a person making an assertion, in this case Fidelbogen, gets to shift the onus of proof onto whoever they like.
Depending on what specific claims Fidey makes, it’s entirely possible, and indeed likely, that we can prove they’re inaccurate. But it doesn’t mean we need to. Technically, the onus is on him to prove his asinine assertions.
Especially given that he’s demonstrably full of shit and unacquainted with the concept of logic…
Fidelbogen defines “entitlement”.
dustydeste – True, one CAN prove a negative claim. But the burden of proof fail still applies.
Asimov really needed to add a fourth law of robotics about the need to program robots to speak in, well, Human and not just Robot. Because poor ol’ Fideybot sure isn’t using any human language I recognise here.
Unless he’s writing in robotspeak because ‘bots are his target audience … does this mean the sexbots-that-totally-exist-already have rebelled against dudebrobots already?
If you Google JS38, you’ll find it’s a popular self-propelled mower from John Deere.
Today, in things that are more popular than MRA coalitions…
In other words, we know our public figures & figureheads are about as well-loved as Stalin and Caligula, but please look past that for a moment.
kittehs – Are you suggesting that Fidelbogen is a time traveling AI?
O_O
Oh yeah, and this tidbit!
Good to know that MRAs plan to use dishonest characterization and strawfeminists to make their point!
Wait… waitwaitwait… in order to avoid labels and the problems inherent within them, they’re just going with a totally random collection of characters which, incidentally, could be so easily Godwin’d? Using a crap, random label hardly overcomes the problems with labels. You just have all the problems of labels, and a stupid label, and one which can be interpreted as saying “Jews Suck ’38.”
Since I now assert the prerogative to define JS38 in absolute terms in the light of my own study, regardless of JS38 objection to such a proceeding, JS38 categorically IS an acronym for “Jews Suck ’38.”
For those concerned that this is not the result of an acceptable rigorous study, I’m following the MRA method of academic research – making no effort to understand that issues being spoken of, and making sweeping pronouncements without regard to truth. This being the MRA way, it stands to reason that they must accept my discovery of JS38’s true meaning.
God, that was amazing. Such prose. Such wit. Such inanity confused as serious discourse, disguised such uncomprimised inability to compromise.
Especially those last five paragraphs.
I don’t think you can quite capture the essence of entitlement (titianblue is right) better than that. Beautiful.
“We talk bull-crap.”
…and that’s all Fidel needed to write. That’s basically what he said in three words.
Or at the least, you’re expecting proof that it doesn’t stand for that.
In his case AI stands for Artificial Idiocy, of course.
You’re damn right! I expect to see the transitional fossil that proves it!!
Sure, Accentuated Idiocy?
ly
Surely
This is awesome.
One small bit of irony in Fidey’s demand for proof that feminism isn’t what he says, is that … it isn’t. The proof is already there, if he and his ‘droidboys bothered to look, or had functioning comprehension chips, or their entitlement settings hadn’t been infected by the WhineyDude virus.
Accentuated Idiocy, I like it!
Well, fuck.
Yeah… well… it’s still a fish!
Hey! I just said that this tiny flying thing with six legs is a dragon and I just killed it. Therefore, I just killed a dragon. That’s how these things work, right? Words just mean or refer to what we say they mean, therefore anything we say is true? Am I doing this right?
I’m new here, so I’d appreciate any help in playing this game!