So A Voice for Men, classy joint that it is, “reported” yesterday that Elizabeth Vargas of ABC’s 20/20, who interviewed Paul Elam for a 20/20 piece that has yet to air, has checked into rehab in order to deal with her alcoholism. The general reaction of commenters there ranged from “ha ha” to “well, maybe once she’s cured she’ll see how oppressed we men really are.” Those aren’t exact quotes. The exact quotes are below.
Here’s one especially classy exchange. Note the upvotes.
In another comment a bit too long to conveniently screenshot, Laddition explained his position in a bit more detail, winning a few upvotes in the process:
I DO NOT CARE
She doesn’t care about me or my gender, in fact she intended to do material harm to my brothers and I, she has no right to expect any better response from me than that.
If she drains the poison from her soul and comes back as a better person and does better for the other half of humanity, I may have some encouragement for her. Until then; none, nada, nietski, sweet fa.
And why do I hold such an uncharitable view?
Because I think that until women in general understand that there are costs (indifference from men) to their feminist acts, they’ll never see a reason to change. At the moment the best many of them’ll do is cluck at what the ‘extreme’ feminists say and keep taking the goodies provided for them by such harpies over the backs of men.
Men don’t have to hate women, a world of male indifference will be a cold place to be a woman. If you want to be loved and cared for, try being lovable, at the very least.
In a followup comment, he added:
And I hope that the interview with Paul was part of the breakdown and subsequent recognition of the darkness in her own twisted heart. May she benefit from the lesson by going and doing no more evil unto men.
Even the putatively “sympathetic” comments quickly turned into smug little “told-you-sos.”
One commenter even managed to work in a snide reference to Sheryl Sandberg’s “Lean In” slogan:
Elam’s own comment on the story was a small masterpiece of passive-aggressive faux-sympathy:
That’s right, Paul. It’s all about you. And the only reason she was troubled by your hateful shit is because she was a drunkard with no “compassion” for poor oppressed assholes like you.
Elam was once, he says, an addiction counselor. Given his incredible narcissism and clear lack of empathy for at least half of the human race, if not the vast majority of it, it is rather hard to see how he could have been any good at that job.
SIGH.
For contrast, here is the Box Turtle Bulletin’s response after one of NOM’s directors was injured in an accident.
To be fair, a lot of people, feminists and antifeminists alike, gloated about Schwyzer’s meltdowns. But I don’t recall any gloating comments here. Nor any “maybe now he’ll be a better feminist” posts. Some MRAs, on the other hand, have suggested that now that he’s seen how mean feminists are he’ll want to join them.
It’s also worth pointing out that Vargas’ “crimes” consisted of asking Elam some questions; Schwyzer’s crimes — not in quotes, because he’s confessed to them — include attempted murder of a (now ex) girlfriend and nearly killing another woman while DUI.
I do hope Schwyzer gets the treatment he needs. I also hope he goes to jail.
Viscaria — I think he’s making a very oblique // dog whistle claim about “false accusations”. Since in his twisted worldview, women have drunk sex, regret it in the morning, and call it rape, and feminists are all about sending the poor innocent man to jail.
Totally ninja’ed, I have to learn to hit refresh!
RE: katz
Hey, sadface! We got your present, but I’m like the one person on earth who doesn’t have iTunes, and I really don’t think this borrowed computer can handle the installation. (It is a POS and has refused to install any new programs or devices in months.) Do you or any other Boobzers know if I can get my prezzy without having to be devoured by Apple software through someone else’s computer?
They really think this has something to do with 20/20 not airing the piece on the MRM? In addition to being asshats, they really do not understand how the world works.
Remember, these are people who think that THEY stalled the reauthorization of VAWA because obstructionist Republicans blocked its passage due to the addition of protections for gay and immigrant women.
Good point, Chie, good point.
Is it possible researching the MRA drove Vargas to drink?
Just kidding. Sort of.
I respect Elizabeth Vargas, and I am confident with a little help she’ll get this in hand.
Elam as an addiction counselor is terrifying. I have been in and out of rehab and many people, including myself at times, just want someone to blame for their addiction. If you constantly blame someone else for everything that is wrong it can be incredibly hard to take the steps needed to better yourself. I just imagine him egging people on about how it is their ex-wife’s fault or their female boss that is the problem. Or if he counseled women? I can’t imagine it.
Aww, I’m sorry! I wasn’t sure if you needed itunes to receive it or not. I don’t want to make you get itunes because it totally sucks but it was the only way I was aware of to send that sort of thing.
I feel so tormented! 🙁 And I feel bad for being unable to accept your (totally awesome) present!
All the sad emotes.
@Tracy
Yeah, that got a serious “nopetopus” reaction from me.
Not That Guy, that premature ejaculation joke was a real stretch. It was a long stretch. It was a long, hard stretch. Also, he didn’t even say Elam was gloating. Also, you came too early.
This comment is also about penises.
Anyway, I for one hope that Hugo Schwyzer becomes less of a toxic, manipulative, abusive human being as a result of his trials, but that’s probably too much to hope for. I mostly hope he’ll just shut up.
Wait a minute. Can you hear that? That distant quaking, as if the earth were shaking only slightly, but all around you? That’s the sound of Vargas quaking in her boots at the thought of Laddition’s ostentatious indifference.
My immediate reaction is “Argenti will know what to do.”
Even though there is no particular reason for that to be true.
I second MaudeLL, who said:
Yes. Indifference would be great. Actually going their own way? That would be great. I really hope this isn’t an idle “threat.”
And seconding the WTF?!? to Paul Elam once being an addiction counselor.
And way to stay classy, not that guy!
Has Elam ever discussed how his history as a counselor is related to his activism? Did he bring (or does he claim to have brought) a men’s rights perspective to his counseling? That’d be horrifying.
I wish Vargas all the best. I hope she has a lot of supportive people in her life, and doesn’t have to hear shit like these guys are spewing.
@Karalora
Also, being unlovable makes you not deserve to be treated like a human being.
@Pecunium
You give him more credit than I do. My version would have gone something like ” that would cause people to come look at his “satire” and get all mad about “misandry” and give him more donations and interviews and attention.”
@Viscaria
Right? I thought that was the MRA “it wasn’t rape” party line.
OMG you keep coming up with better and better pictures of Elam.
Quoth Paul “bash a violent bitch” “fucking their shit up gives me an erection” “they’re fucking begging to be raped” “vote not guilty at all rape trials” Elam.
Pots and kettles.
N’thing the “male indifference” comments. I don’t want romantic or sexual attention from men (or anyone else). The very idea makes my skin crawl. Because of course Paulyboy isn’t talking about friendship between equals, or simple human decency, is he? Can’t have that idea infecting his maggotty little brain.
Because women can’t love or care for other women, no way. Only MEN can do such a thing! Otherwise we’ll all… be jerks? Or something?
And of course men can only care for women conditionally, if those women are
Stepford Wiveslovable enough.All that a woman does? For a man.
If she decides to wear heels, it’s for a dude. If she chooses not to, it’s ALSO for a dude. Become an alcoholic? A dude is involved. Go into rehab? Oh, you should thank a dude!
*roll eyes* *raises lots of sarcasm hands*
emilygoddess: You give him more credit than I do. My version would have gone something like ” that would cause people to come look at his “satire” and get all mad about “misandry” and give him more donations and interviews and attention.”
I was being sarcastic. I think he went, “TV? I’ve made the big time!”, and no further thought took place until he was done with the interview and a smidgeon of self-awareness surfaced to make him say, “shit, I look like a douch. Those fucking women set me up.”
Well, if one of you would clue me in on what’s going on, I might 🙂 (just no more PHP, dear gods no more PHP today)