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A Voice for Men’s Paul Elam duped by obviously fake article on satirical website

Hamsters: Still less gullible than Paul Elam
Hamsters: Still less gullible than Paul Elam

How gullible is Paul Elam, grand pooh-bah of A Voice for Men? Well, he just wrote an frothingly angry denunciation of a Canadian business school dean based on an obviously phony story on a satirical website called The Syrup Trap. A website that declares at the top of the page that it is “Canada’s favourite humour magazine.” A website whose logo is a cartoon beaver with a plastic cup on its head.

The backstory: Several months back, you may recall, several Canadian schools got into hot water when it got out that students in charge of organzing freshman orientation events were welcoming in new students with horrific chants full of rape jokes. One of these schools was the Sauder School of Business at the University of British Columbia.

Appalled by this, the dean of the business school, Robert Helsey, pledged $250,000 towards sexual assault counseling and education. But there was a catch: $200,000 of that sum would have to be approved via student referendum.

Last week, students overwhelmingly voted down the referendum.

Let’s let the writer of the satirical story, a journalist and humor writer named Jonny Wakefield, explain what happened next:

Dean Helsley made a public statement on the vote, which despite all the manager-academic speak, contained something resembling barely concealed rage.

Wouldn’t it be funny to see what he’s actually thinking?

So I wrote up a FAKE letter from Mr. Helsley to the student body, in which he lays down the law. We posted it to the humour blog the Syrup Trap, which, to be fair, has confused people in the past. Like when a post had people convinced J.K. Rowling was buying a campus library and turning it into the Chamber of Secrets.

In the FAKE letter to students, the FAKE Helsley FAKELY announced he was FAKELY firing the entire student body:

When your boss tells you to do something, it is in the company’s best interest that you do that thing to the best of your ability. Because it is in the company’s best interest that this thing be done, it is in your best interest as well.

Sometimes, the things I tell you to do may sound like suggestions. Sometimes I might say, “It would be great if you could complete x task within a given time period.”

But funding this counselling position to make up for joking about rape, while there is a sexual predator at large on campus?

That wasn’t a suggestion. …

Going back to Sauder as business analogy: you are all fired. All of you.

Enjoy the rest of your week. You have two days to clear out your belongings.

Oh, aside from the thing at the top of the page saying the site was a humor site, and the cartoon beaver, another little tipoff that this article was HUMOR and not REALITY is the fact that deans cannot actually fire the entire student body.

But none of these little tipoffs were enough to tip off Mr. Elam, who launched into a full-scale assault on the dean in a posting called “Dean Robert Helsley, asshole.” AVFM has since taken the post down, but happily for us students of MRA delusion and gullibility it has been captured forever by the Internet Wayback Machine.  (Make sure you go the the November 5th capture of the page; the Nov. 6th capture of the page will get you a blank page, as they had deleted it by then.) Note: The Wayback machine is having some technical difficulties, so if you can’t get through here’s the Google Cache.)

Here’s Elam, laying down the smackdown for Helsley’s imaginary crimes. Sorry, for Helsly’s imaginary crimes: in keeping with AVFM’s tradition of not ever checking anything before publishing it, Elam even spells the guy’s name wrong in his tirade over the fake article in a satirical publication.

Dean Helsly wanted to blow a quarter of a million dollars of student’s money to allay his personal embarrassment over a fucking frosh chant that got too much media attention, and when they said no he resorted to bullying and public humiliation.

Doesn’t he know that no means no?

The students voiced their will through a democratic process, and Helsly reacted by letting them know that if he could he would retaliate against them for those votes; that he would, in fact, crush them.

I understand that Helsly is embarrassed. After all, in Rape Hysteria Culture a frosh week chant can go places no sane person could actually predict. But what is really interesting is that while Helsly is obviously uncomfortable seeing his name anywhere near the antics of some unruly freshman, he obviously has no concern whatsoever revealing himself publicly and proudly as indifferent to the collective will of his students, pettily resentful of the democratic process and thuggishly willing to play dictator, collective will and democracy be damned.

I’m a little confused as to what exactly Elam thinks Fake Helsley — sorry, Helsly –was going to do to “retaliate” against these students, given that deans cannot, you know, actually fire the entire student body.

Or does Elam think that in our evil Feminazi Gynocracy that’s just how things work? I guess when you devote your life to fighting imaginary enemies anything is possible.

Hint for you, Robert. Even bosses can be fired; especially the arrogant asshole type bosses who mistake their organizations as an instrument of personal vanity and who mistake tyranny for leadership skills.

Why is Elam writing about himself here?

Oh, wait — that’s supposed to be about Helsley?

Oh, and a special note to Sauder students. If you think feminism is a movement for social justice, think again. Feminism is the establishment now. It is the man. And the man just crapped all over you.

Well, not exactly. One man just crapped himself, all over his own website.

And I thought Elam was supposed to be the expert on satire.

The Syrup Trap has posted a clarification of their original story.

Thanks to pretendent on AgainstMensRights for alerting me to this lovely story.

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freemage
7 years ago

Heeheehee…..

Robert
Robert
7 years ago

Masculism cannot fail; it can only be failed. Take it away, Grand Negus:
“You failed! Miserably!”

Hyena Girl
7 years ago

“Rape Hysteria Culture”, that’s a new one.

MaudeLL
7 years ago

Aw, the wayback machine link doesn’t work. 🙁

Bonelady
Bonelady
7 years ago

Seems that men’s rights advocacy and a sense of humor just do not go together. I suppose this shows the result of unremitting rage on a person’s critical abilities. Too bad.

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

Wow, Paul Elam sure is vehemently opposed to stuff Dean Helsley never said.

Ooookay then.

Ally S
7 years ago

Dense enough to take satire seriously, and dense enough to fail to realize how awful rape jokes are.

Elam, you’re a real champ.

Alison
Alison
7 years ago

hahahahahaha

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Such a charmer. I guess because of course, in our feminazi gynocracy, NONE of that money would’ve EVER helped a male survivor of rape. And even if it did, RAPE HYSTERIA CULTURE ZOMG!

BabyLawyer
BabyLawyer
7 years ago

Satirical websites are MISANDRYYYYY

Brodt
Brodt
7 years ago

I get that he’s stupid for actually falling for this. I mean I think we all realize that this guy is pretty stupid.
What I’m really appreciating (read: am abjectly horrified by) is that he somehow thinks that a person’s right not to be raped is something that should be put to a vote. Or that the Dean choosing to ignore the referendum would be “bullying”. Because you know, basic human rights are totally a matter of opinion. Well maybe there is room for opinion, it’s just that any opinion that does not fully support them also happens to be intrinsically awful (what a coincidence!).
I kind of want to hear about his feelings toward the civil rights movement. Since after all, there was no vote and those “bullies” on the supreme court forced all the poor racists to not be complete (but still mostly) shitbags to people of different colors. Because you know, white privilege isn’t real, and there is obviously such a bias toward black people in this country. That’s why they have all the money and opportunities, duh!
Actually, never mind. I do not want to hear this moron speak about civil rights in this country. In fact I would prefer it greatly if he refrained from speaking entirely. Every time he opens his mouth its hurts my brain and causes me to die a little bit on the inside.
He should go away. I bet there is nice farm out in the country that would be willing to take him in…

theladyzombie
7 years ago

Well obviously The Syrup Trap is run by feminists. Why else would they write such a deceptive article except to fool the brave human rights activists at A Voice for Men?

For shame, The Syrup Trap. For shame.

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

BAHAHAHAHAHA, AVFM FAIL.

Satire is now MISANDRY!

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

O wait. If satire is now MISANDRY, does that mean that the infamous Bash a Violent Bitch Month is ALSO MISANDRY?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

katz
7 years ago

If satire is misandry, then MRAs are in trouble, seeing as it’s their favorite go-to excuse for everything they write.

Anenome
Anenome
7 years ago

David, I LOL’d. On the bus. And I don’t care.

Ah, MRAs… They never fail to amuse.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

I never felt the term ‘chucklefuck’ was more appropriate.

Stuffed Fantod
Stuffed Fantod
7 years ago

Oh, Pauly. Never change.

If your silly ass didn’t exist we’d have to make you up, just for the lulz.

Stuffed Fantod
7 years ago

“Pauly the Chucklefuck” is my Phrase of the Day. Thank you, LBT!

misterantimra
7 years ago

They are just so adorable.

Stuffed Fantod
7 years ago

The hilarity has now been spread to the Google office in Seattle. The laughter is only beginning.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

No problem, Stuffed Fantod!

ignotussomnium
7 years ago

This is just beautiful. There are a million things about the site that you think would tip him off, but no! He catches wind of his target and doggedly pursues it right off of a cliff.

Christo
Christo
7 years ago

Why people look up to this idiot Paul Elam as their cult leader is something I’ll never understand.

Cthulhu's Intern
7 years ago

That isn’t satire! Everyone knows that satire is when you say awful rape/violence apologist shit without a hint of irony.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Wonderful, just wonderful.

Though I kinda wish in this instance that the Dean could fire the little shits who voted no.

Maybe Pauly was shocked – shocked! – that his budding MRAs could be subjected to such indignity. Even though they weren’t.

Ashley
7 years ago

He’s a chump and half.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Ashley

A chumplefuck?

cloudiah
7 years ago

I laughed so hard when I first read this on r/amr. Paul will believe literally anything if he can spin it to pretend women or feminists are doing something bad. (Not that spending money on anti-rape campaigns, especially when there’s an unidentified rapist running around, is a bad thing to anyone except Paul Elam and his FTSU wrecking crew.)

augochlorella
7 years ago

So was there an apology or was this story taken down with no explanation?

Athywren
Athywren
7 years ago

But he’s the king of satire… I thought? How does he fail to recognise satire when everything he’s ever written was satire?

It’s almost as if… but no, that would be ridiculous. Obviously his understanding of the world in general – and satire in particular – is perfectly sound. This is obviously just a matter of liberals writing hateful shit and then pretending it’s a joke afterwards to weasel out of criticism. Obviously…

kittehserf
7 years ago

Apology, augochlorella? Expecting manly menz to apologise is MISANDRY!

cloudiah
7 years ago

Clearly, The Syrup Trap owes Paul Elam — and all men everywhere, for he is their king — an apology! Any other position is the rankest misandry, augochlorella!

Athywren
Athywren
7 years ago

You know, it occurs to me… on manboobz: the magazining, or whatever it ends up being called, we’re probably going to have to have a banner up at the top of the funnies pages in size 72, bold: “The following is humour. Do not take seriously. MRAs, this means you.

@Brodt

Actually, never mind. I do not want to hear this moron speak about civil rights in this country. In fact I would prefer it greatly if he refrained from speaking entirely. Every time he opens his mouth its hurts my brain and causes me to die a little bit on the inside.

OMG! Censorship! CEEENSOOORSHIIIP!!! Leave Poor Elam alone! Stop oppressing him, you misandrist bigot! 😛

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
7 years ago

Whaddayaknow, it looks like Paul E’s confusion over the meaning of the word ‘satire’ was genuine after all. I guess he’s very slightly less disingenuous than I though.

moldybrehd
7 years ago

Is anyone else reminded of the fevour surrounding the banning of non-existent sexbots?

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

How gullible is Paul Elam, grand pooh-bah of A Voice for Men? Well, he just wrote an frothingly angry denunciation of a Canadian business school dean based on an obviously phony story on a satirical website called The Syrup Trap… A website whose logo is a cartoon beaver with a plastic cup on its head.

To be fair, in Canada we put cartoon beavers on everything, serious or not. Legal contracts. Love letters. Declarations of war.

Seranvali
Seranvali
7 years ago

*chokes laughing*

Yep, this is a classic! And Google has seem it…it’ll be all over the web in not time flat! I’m going to make popcorn, anyone else want some?

kittehserf
7 years ago

moldybrehd – ah, that was one of the funniest ever, the sexbots saga!

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Oh, Paul. Stay stupid.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Whoops.

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
7 years ago

TW: Sexual assault

In New Zealand, a group of young men have been plying girls as young as 13 with alcohol, gang raping them, photographing their crimes, and posting those photos on social media to “name and shame” their victims. They call themselves the Roast Busters. Police have known about the group since 2011. Until yesterday, they claimed that they couldn’t do anything about the group, couldn’t even do anything about their website, because no victims had filed formal charges. Turns out that was a lie. Two girls, both 13 years old, pressed charges in 2011. Police told them they were asking for it. There have been no arrests. The case is only getting attention now thanks to the attention of a local television news program.

But there is no such thing as rape culture, right Paul Elam, you smug fuck? 13 year old girls plied with liquor, gang raped, photographed, and bullied online afterward, and the local cops shrug.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Fucking useless police …

Oh, there’s a troll hanging around on the other threads, calls himself Kevin. He’s a right little chew toy in the making.

Ashley
7 years ago

LBT, “A chumplefuck”…precisely!

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

Is Paul Elam the target audience for all those warning labels?

“DO NOT IRON SHIRT WHILE WEARING IT.”

“SUPERMAN PAJAMAS. WILL NOT ENABLE WEARER TO FLY.”

“PEANUT BUTTER. PRODUCT CONTAINS PEANUTS.”

StarStorm
7 years ago

Man, that is some prime Elam assturbation.

Also, fut the whuck is up with people. That’s just… eurgh, that’s horrible Chie.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Chie

D:

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
7 years ago

@ Buttercup Q Skullpants – My favourite one of those was

WAIT FOR CHAINSAW BLADE TO COME TO REST ON ITS OWN. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP BLADE WITH HANDS OR GENITALS

toujoursgai
7 years ago

After all, in Rape Hysteria Culture a frosh week chant can go places no sane person could actually predict.

I know expecting internal logic from Paul Elam is like…some ridiculous analogy I’ll make up later, but presumably “rape hysteria culture” is supposed to refer to all those feminists getting “hysterical” about rape. If so, how can a pro-rape chant be an example of “rape hysteria culture”? I don’t even understand what he’s trying to say here.

Never mind, I’ll just point and laugh. AHAHAHAHA.