I think we’re a bit overdue for another open thread for personal stuff. As per usual, no trolls, no flames, no being a butthead.
I’ll paste in some recent personal comments from other threads.
Categories
Open Thread for Personal Stuff: November Rain Edition
So, today I learned/realized that the Air Force is the only branch of the U.S. military that… well, look at it:
Army Soldiers
Navy Sailors
Marine Marines (heh)
Coast Guard Sailors
Air Force… Airmen
There is no non-gendered term that covers all members of the Air Force (‘pilot’ covers the folks doing the actual flying, but they have ground crew and commanding officers, too). Navy also traditionally uses the term Seaman, of course, but that can at least be worked around.
Hurr hurr… ‘seamen.’ *is twelve*
Pecunium: I just linked a FB friend to that post about yarn–if someone named Penny replies, that’s from me.
Ally: So much hope you and your brother are able to get to a place where you can force your father to either accept your independence or let you break free (which he’ll paint as him casting you out, of course, but if you’ll pardon the reference, the whole damn world would be your briar patch…).
LBT: Glad to hear you’re feeling better. Good luck on the housing!
LBT: Heh. I can’t even look at the word without thinking about the penis/submarine joke.
Yeah, I’m going to be checking out more places on Friday, and hopefully will be spending tomorrow at another place.
In also fun life news, hubby’s birthday’s in a couple weeks, plus our anniversary, and he has full intention of taking us to the beach, shacking up in a little B&B and… er…. celebrating having privacy and money. It’ll be awesome (if a little expensive, by my standards)!
Yay for birthdays and anniversaries!
freemage: <i.So, today I learned/realized that the Air Force is the only branch of the U.S. military that… well, look at it…:
If it makes you feel better, calling an enlisted member of the Navy a sailor is not going to go over well; the official term is seamen (which is a holdover from the past, when they didn’t want to be confused with common sailors in the merchant service).
They are pretty adamant about being called seamen (even the female members of the service) just as members of the Air Force are about airmen.
I’ve been feeling very sad this evening. Even when I was staring at my reflection in a window of a train I was getting really self-conscious and feeling dysphoric. It’s just a lot to bear.
I’m also worrying about getting a new job – my programming skills aren’t very good. All I know is some Java, a tiny amount of C, some Ruby, and some basic web development stuff (HTML5, JS libraries, CSS, SQL databases, etc.). That might sound like a lot, but I have big gaps in both my knowledge and my experience. I’m also considering applying for a part time position at RAINN, but I need 2 reference letters, and I just don’t have those. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I need at least some kind of job soon or else my life is going to get way harder very quickly.
Ally, you’re, what, nineteen? Who is seriously going to expect you to know All The Things in programming yet? (Yes, I know job agents are arseholes; been down that path a few times.)
What about references from the place you worked before you got hauled in working with your parental unit? Or uni tutors, could they help?
Ally, maybe my U. is different, but they have some great programming jobs for students where (let’s face it) you’re kind of exploited but you get to learn a lot from working programmers. UCSC is smaller, so it may be different. In any case, I agree with kittehs that no one will expect someone your age to come in with no gaps in their knowledge. As for references, haven’t you had some part-time/project jobs? You could also do some volunteer work and get references that way.
And sorry about the sad feelings. And sorry if I’m trying to fix things, when I should just be sympathetic. Hugs if you want them.
@kitteh
I’m sure no one expects me to be a master coder, but as far as I can tell, I don’t even meet the bare minimum requirements for a lot of jobs.
I actually did have another job right in front of me several weeks ago, but I decided to reject the opportunity because I wanted to stop working for the sake of my emotional stability. I still don’t feel emotionally stable, but I felt that, if I work while super stressed out and depressed, things will only go downhill at work. Now I’m a little more able to handle a job – I think. In any case, my feelings shouldn’t stop me from getting a job because I really need a source of income.
As for those references, getting a reference from my former coworkers/boss has crossed my mind, but I feel that some people there don’t like me anymore. Maybe they would make things even harder for me if they criticized me in the reference letter (if what I’m saying sounds silly, it’s because I know very little about reference letters). Uni tutors are out of the question because I don’t even know any tutors on campus that I go to.
Ally, if your former boss (co workers can’t do reference letters, it needs to be someone senior to you) is prepared to do a reference, they should be professional enough to do it properly. I can’t recall if you can ask to see it, but I think you can, especially if you’re looking for a letter tailored to a particular job (which again, a good supervisor would want to do, because a general “Ally was a good diligent worker” is so vague it’s useless).
Second, I’m betting Jerkbrain is involved in you bering worried about them not liking you anymore. Whyever wouldn’t they? Again, what coworkers thought – tough shit, they’re not writing the letters.
Also, you don’t have to use the letter anyway!
Being worried, not bering worried. I don’t think you’ve moved up to polar bear territory. 😛
Ah, references… Ally, this depends on how trustworthy you think your former coworkers/boss are, but I *always* ask in person, and phrase it as “I am applying for a job doing ___. Would you feel comfortable serving as a reference for me?” That gives them an out where they can say “I’m not sure I can speak to that,” or something even if they’re not willing to tell you to your face that they can’t say anything good. If they do say yes, and you trust them, then list them and also send them your resume/cover letter so that if they’re called they are primed with good things to say about you.
Thanks, cloudiah. *hugs back*
Yeah, I’ve heard of some coding jobs down in the LA area. My dad took one of them. It was a very simple job, too – one even I could do. But it’s out of the question now. I wonder why he told me explicitly about a job he knew I could do and then tell me that he got the position. I know he wants me to get a job. Either he’s clueless or very insensitive. Probably both. Anyway, I should do some searching on campus – I don’t know why I haven’t thought of that yet…
I might do some volunteering stuff – there seem to be a lot of cool volunteering positions that RAINN has. As well as the local rape crisis center in Santa Cruz. But while I might be sounding kind of selfish here, I really need money as well. Granted, volunteering experience can only be a good thing (especially if it’s for a good end), but my main motivation here, to be blunt, is getting income again.
I see. Thanks for clarifying. Well I mentioned reference letters in the context of getting a job at RAINN or a similar organization – I hope that a reference letter from my former boss is relevant to other employers because, well, coding and answering hotline calls are two very different things.
On that note, would it help if I got a reference from a professor at my previous college? Because I know that my philosophy teacher would want to write a reference for me if she has the time to.
@kitteh
Jerkbrain is probably playing some role, but I do think that at least my project manager hates me. Evidence: http://mellowness.dreamwidth.org/26480.html
@cloudiah
I think it would be better to ask my boss in person, yeah. He’s a personal kind of guy. And thanks for the suggestion about sending him my resume – that never occurred to me until you mentioned it.
Ally, as someone who does a lot of hiring, IMO references from professors are most useful for academic stuff. If the position you’re applying for is something that needs theoretical knowledge, or knowledge of your ability to be both analytical and empathetic, that could be useful. But if you’re applying for a programming type job at RAINN, you’re going to want programming references. If the RAINN job is for the helpline, a reference from a former teacher would be good.
Does that make sense?
If things don’t happen right away for paying jobs, I do encourage you to explore volunteer positions both for the experience and so that you can earn some good references.
I’m going to sleep now. Email me if you want someone to look at your resume/cover letter. Happy to do it if you want feedback.
Pecunium: Thanks for the tip on the issues with ‘sailors’–I’ve got Marines and Soldiers in my local family, but nobody from the Navy.
@cloudiah
Ah, I understand what you’re saying. None of the positions at RAINN or Defensa de Mujeres (the rape crisis center in Santa Cruz) require coding, so I’m sure the references from professors will be okay in light of what you said.
Okay, for anyone lurking or commenting who’s been here feeling sad, or will come here feeling sad.
BEST. BLAIN BREACH. EVER. !!!
http://youtu.be/h588nHfJ-CE
@kitteh, sorry love, you definitely need sound for that last one. 🙂
Even without sound it’s a hoot!
If they’d had glowing eyes they’d totally be the Midwich Sphinxes.
I wrote a bit of a rant in the Quick Check thread. I’m not going to paste it here, because it’s lengthy, but it’s likely to be lost in that thread, so I’m linking to it. It’s about the whole “we need to convert people to atheism” conversation. It’s a personal issue for me and I needed to get this stuff said, because sometimes I wonder if people realise what they’re saying when they make claims like that.
http://manboobz.com/2013/11/03/a-quick-factchecking-of-yet-another-list-of-misandrist-quotes-reveals-the-same-old-mra-sloppiness-and-dishonesty/comment-page-3/#comment-373809
Off to work, back around 2200.