I think we’re a bit overdue for another open thread for personal stuff. As per usual, no trolls, no flames, no being a butthead.
I’ll paste in some recent personal comments from other threads.
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Open Thread for Personal Stuff: November Rain Edition
I’m so sorry, Ally. That sucks 🙁 It is not your fault at all. Nobody could possibly be expected to succeed at school while also dealing with all the shit that you’re going through in your personal life. Don’t know if the school will see it that way but they should.
I’m sorry, the above sounded harsher than I meant–if you tell a professor what’s going on with you during the semester, you have a much greater chance of them working with you than you do of them changing the grade after the fact.
Some professors do understand tough. I had wonderful ones who really helped me when I was really in my worst times.
Even if they can’t see or the school can’t see, this is just a moment in your school life. If you don’t succeed now, does not mean that you have failed. My mother always says that we sometimes we need to try many times before we can achieve a goal and that this does not always come at first.
What is with parents threatening to stop paying if you don’t get good enough grades? If you’re struggling, how is that going to help? (My parents did this too.)
@Ally S: I am so, so sorry you’ve been having so many problems with school. Virtual hugs, if you want them. =(
@pineapplecookies: That’s a good way of looking at things, IMHO. =)
Yep, UCSC does have academic probation. That’s nice.
Anyway, if I write a letter, I’m basically going to explain what has been making grades drop so sharply. That’s what I did in my previous letter, although I only said that I was depressed (I was dealing with more than that at the time). I think it’s best to be direct about what’s causing me distress.
I should have talked to my professors about my dropping grades, but I was too afraid to approach them. They were very nice, but I just felt so pathetic about having to approach my teachers. That might sound silly to you guys, but my self-hatred can stop me from doing even simple things.
Ally, I’m so sorry, that sucks. Supportive hugs.
I completely understand, Ally 🙁 Web hugs to you, if you want them
@katz
It’s their way of trying to encourage their kids to be “hardworking,” as far as I can tell. My dad does the same thing to me (to no one’s surprise).
My parents did it too, but the logic is just really strange. Everyone’s parents seem to think that they’re total slackers who are perversely getting worse grades on purpose just to spite them, and that the threat of cutting their funding is somehow going to motivate them in a way that the threat of failing or not being able to get into jobs or grad schools afterwards doesn’t.
My parents held me to a B average every semester, including when I was taking Pchem. Ye gods.
Yick. Your parents would get along with Ally’s dad.
Is there an island available for Dirtbag Parents to be sent to?
If there isn’t, I’ll be happy to volunteer my parents (or actually, my mother) to be the first residents.
Update: Got out of hospital a few days ago, my mother’s first comment after she got home from work is how much money I probably cost her, and she asked me why I didn’t tell the Target employees to not call 911. Thanks Mum!
WTF? How is that allowed to happen? Every school I’ve ever gone to had Student Rights & Responsibilities in the calendar, and students have the right to know how they’re being graded, and what their freaking grades are.
Hugs to everyone who wants one.
auggzIliary – You’d think, but of course it’s more important to not have to pay for the ambulance fee compared to making sure that you’re okay.
What, why would the professors even do that? Were they getting a bonus for failing people out or something?
Yeah, that makes sense now. Incompetence explains everything. I hope you had a chance to do a faculty evaluation.
One of my uncles (who is non-abusive and very gentle unlike my dad) was just asking me what I want to do with the family in celebration of getting “all ‘A’s” this quarter. I lied to him and the rest of the family about my grades. I can only hope that they won’t think less of me once they find out the truth. I think I’m on the verge of breaking down right now.
I think I’ll tell my brother once he comes back from the hospital. I can’t tell my uncle because he’s going to tell everyone else out of concern for me.
Ally, how soon can you get out of there? You really need to get away from your family, and stuff college for the moment, it really isn’t helping.
Not only is it hard to tell anyone anything when you’re unconcscious, but I would bet the employees would get it in the neck for failing their duty of care if they didn’t call.
D’you have ambulance insurance in the US? We have it here – pay an annual fee (I forget what it is ‘cos I get direct debit; last time I looked it was about $40) and you pay nothing for ambulance call-outs, rather than thousands if you’re uninsured.
Whoa what a gorgeous sight!
Wow. The ground there must be a slobber-bog. But sure as hell is that kid not in danger of getting lost in the woods.
My brother is going to leave for Colorado in a few weeks. Hopefully I can leave with katz while he’s gone, making it much easier for me to avoid my brother in case he tries looking for me. (Don’t worry; if he looks for me, it’ll only be to ensure that I’m safe. But for various reasons I still don’t want him to search for me.)
Aaaaaaand my brother just told me that he’s not going to Colorado. Whatever, I’ll still go very soon.
kittehs – I do have health insurance, but I don’t know if ambulance calls are covered. Probably not, but I don’t know what’s going to happen.