I think we’re a bit overdue for another open thread for personal stuff. As per usual, no trolls, no flames, no being a butthead.
I’ll paste in some recent personal comments from other threads.
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Open Thread for Personal Stuff: November Rain Edition
kitteh, no matter what happens, I will finish school – even if that means I have to take a short break. I have family members who are willing to help me out with tuition – and if I combine that with a part-time job and some financial aid, it’ll be easy for me. Of course, I’d prefer if I could continue school while out of that house, but I need to be prepared for the worst. I think I may have mentioned before that my dad likes to stalk his children. I would rather be out and free and safe from dangerous family members than risk being harmed and/or stalked while going to school.
And my older brother told me last night that I should consider getting out of the house soon to be free. He even said it was a mistake for me to decide to go to UCSC this year in the first place since Santa Cruz is easy to get to from San Jose (where my father lives). I definitely don’t think that going to UCSC has been a waste so far, but he’s right that I should have tried to leave long before I accepted the offer of admission from UCSC.
Right now, my plan is that, as soon as I escape, I’m going to crash at a friend’s place in Santa Cruz. And if things get dangerous for me there or if I decide that going to Santa Cruz is unwise, then I’ll head down to the south and stay over somewhere, like some cheap hotel. And then once I figure out some things with my mom and my siblings, I’ll go by bus and/or train to my mom’s place in Colorado.
I’m SO glad you’ve got plans for getting out, Ally – not just the knowledge you have to, but concrete plans forming.
kittehs, count me in too. Ally, I hope you can join us! I’d chip in for a train ticket! 🙂
Any chance of a trip to New Jersey or Philadelphia? You could meet the beagle…
http://i.imgur.com/ymuVAWd.jpg
I wish! Though we’ll see … if I’ve got as far as Chicago, I’m pretty well halfway there, aren’t I? I would love to see the eastern states, I’ve never been there.
It all depends on how much leave I can get, and how much money. I would like to fly premium economy, ‘cos a fifteen-hour flight is bloody wearying and now I’ve got this bung knee to look after. That costs a bit over three grand Melbourne – LAX return, and would obvs be more if I came back from an eastern airport instead.
Hmmm.
Heheh if I went to NJ I could go to Freeport and see Mr Springsteen, ‘cept of course the beggar’d probably be on tour. Actually I think he’s coming here about that time!
Awww!
She looks worried about something.
Just so you know, a lot of hotels won’t take cash anymore, because of the risk you’ll trash the place (I know you won’t, you know you won’t, they don’t know you won’t) — you may want to look into boarding houses too (and, being a major city, they may have shelters for GLBT youth)
neuroticbeagle, I might be in Philadelphia in January, if I can get work to fund me.
@kitteh
I’m glad, too, but at the same I’m terrified. Not only because the escape itself is going to be difficult emotionally and safety-wise, but also because I have so little life experience. I mean, I’ve been sheltered for most of my life, and I only started breaking out of my shell by the age of 17. Being free from a parent who has had so much control over me is a good thing, obviously, but at the same time the thought of it makes me feel anxious and uncertain because I’ve never really had any life outside the confines of “Don’t do this or else dad is going to be angry.” I feel like I have no idea what to expect, even though I know what my life aspirations are and what I want to accomplish.
@cloudiah
I hope that I’ll be able to pay for a ticket myself should I decide to come, but your offer is very kind. Thanks. :>
Well, she was at the vet when the picture was taken, but I think she was looking at the cookie jar of doggie treats and was worried she wouldn’t get one. (Don’t worry, I think she got more than one.)
I agree with what Kitteh said. It’s good to see you making plans. They sound like workable plans too. I’m glad you have your mom to turn to, too. I don’t know what it’s like at her place.
It’s all right – I have a debit card. And it’s not tied to my dad’s account, which is a major plus. =D
I wish you the best of luck, Ally. I’m glad to hear that you have workable plans to get out.
@cloudiah
When in January? I might not be here, my Christmas gift from my mom & stepdad is a family vacation to Grand Cayman.
http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/74/b1/82/74b1820d74a09060564f2f07d7c79e63.jpg
The very end of the month, neuroticbeagle. I might be all booked up, though; sometimes it’s hard to get away during conferences! But let me know if you’ll be around.
Ally – I can SO relate to that. I wouldn’t know what the hell to do if I had to get out like that, either. For all the age difference and having worked a long time, I haven’t much life experience in the looking-after-myself department, and the thought of having to escape like that is so scary.
I’m very glad you’ve got your mum and other relatives you can turn to.
Seriously, Ally, I’m twice your age but you are so much more together under difficult circumstances than I would be.
I should be here- I go on the 9th through the 14th.
Ally — good, and your plan does sound workable. Don’t be me — I forgot my ID when I moved out and a very kind airline worker let me fly with just my expired student ID as ID (granted, TSA ruined my laptop when they gave my bag the extra through check)
If you plan to rent, as in, sign the lease yourself, not sublet or room or anything, you may want to get a credit card and not use it. The open account looks good on your credit score and they will check it when you try to rent.
In “no shit sherlock” things, don’t fly with pot. Amtrak doesn’t do searches, at least not out this way, and I sat next to a philly security dog with pot and doggie only gave me a second glance — aimed at my lunch. (What I’m trying to say here is if you’re going to travel with pot, amtrak may be your safest bet)
Amtrack is much more comfortable anyways, with lots of legroom. And it’s cheaper!
@Argenti
Heh, yeah I probably won’t try to fly anyway since it’ll take a huge chunk out of my savings. Currently I only have ~$700 left in my account, and while that might sound like a lot, I need to be very careful about what I spend it on. Amtrak buses and trains, by contrast, cost no more than ~$50 each one-way trip.
And I probably will take some pot. I don’t like using it to help me cope with stress and anxiety (it only helps me in the short-term and withdrawal can have bad effects on me), but I need a way to calm myself down quickly because I know that escaping from my house and then heading for the train to LA would be one of the most stressful and scary things I could ever do. I don’t want to experience panic attacks on a 12-hour train ride.
And thanks for the info on credit cards – that’s super helpful. ^_^
Ally, I think you will do fine on your own. It sounds like you are finding some good resources up there and you will get it all figured out.
If you are going to come down here, you should stay with us until you can find a place. And, if it would be helpful, I will happily come and pick you up and drive you down. This is a serious offer. I had a lot of bay area relatives and I’ve done the drive many times because I hate flying and there are far worse ways to spend a weekend.
@katz
All of that would be very helpful. I can’t thank you enough for offering to do those things. It really means a lot to me. =]
Glad to do whatever I can; I really want to get you away from him!