Today I feel an irresistible urge to post music videos. Above, an awesome interpretation of a rock classic that is sure to get you PUMPED for the weekend.
Below, enjoy the silky voice of Phil Collins.
And here’s Jim Morrison apparently doing his impersonation of the most insufferable man in the universe.
Ok, ok. Here’s that creepshaming manifesto I promised. Or portions of it, anyway. (Like a lot of things written by MRAs, the whole thing is a lot longer than it needs to be.)
The term ‘Creep’ is used every single day to describe people who have done something creepy. A ‘Creep’ is, according to a dictionary, a detestable person, but not according to society today. Today ‘Creep’ is an everyday word that is plastered all over men’s foreheads whenever they do something women don’t like, there is a thousand ways for me to be creepy as a male that I don’t even recognize until it’s too late, or until someone else decides I’m a ‘Creep’. Here is society’s definition of a ‘Creep’:
A man who shows more attention, platonic, romantic or sexual, to a person then they so desire at that time.
[blah blah blah]
I have a little anecdote here for you all. I had a friend with benefits, a girl I was sleeping with every week or two with no romantic strings attached and it was awesome. I found myself loving this woman, not romantically but as a friend I couldn’t have asked for better. Fast forward a few weeks [blah blah blah] The fact that I wasn’t aware of the boyfriend, that the message I sent wasn’t sexual at all and that I was a close personal friend of [oh just fucking shut up]
‘Creep’ is a term that gets abused all over this society; it gets pasted on a man’s forehead by women and scars them with a disfiguring social mark against their name to everyone who is around to hear them say it. Men, you are not a ‘Creep’ for showing a woman attention, you are not a ‘Creep’ for loving kids, or for showing interest in child things. You are a functioning human being. Any women who labels you a ‘Creep’ has problems, they don’t know how to deal with other peoples desires, they don’t respect men’s desires, they don’t realize that men have needs and have wants that don’t line up with their own. Any women who labels a man a ‘Creep’ without a dammed good reason cares only about her own desires, she believes only she can have flexible wants and differing needs and she can’t understand that you are just as human as they are, and that’s a little bit creepy in my honest opinion.
-J.C
Woah. J.C.? The J.C.?
Sorry, Jesus, I didn’t know it was you.
Honestly, I don’t remember you being this whiny the first time around. But whatev. Good to see you.
Naturally, the fellas in the Men’s Rights subreddit think JC’s Creep-i-festo is pretty creeptastic. One of them even left this rather alarming comment:
Yikes. I would go so far as to say that this comment is a bit creepy,
The “opened a conversation” bit is revealing, too. Hello, wannabe PUA!
(The folks in AgainstMensRights are making fun of the Creep-i-festo and making Jesus jokes too.)
I love how he leaves out the content of the message that got him called a ‘creep’, and the fact that she hadn’t contacted him at all for weeks despite being a ‘close, personal friend’ didn’t tip him off that she didn’t want to be in touch with him.
In other words, “I get to tell women off when they do something I don’t like, but don’t you DARE do it to me, ladies, ’cause I’m the MAN and MEN can do NO wrong!!”
Hmm… the “loving kids” and “interest in child things” is a big red flag as to why some woman has called him creepy. I think he should sit with the shame and ponder it for a bit and not try to ignore what his own feelings about being called creepy are telling him.
Here is the behavior exhibited by men that I have called “creeps:”
1. Complete stranger who runs two blocks to catch up to me as I’m trying to walk to work at 6AM, then waves in my face until I take out my headphones so he can talk to me. No.
2. Complete stranger working at a take-out place who uses the identifying information on my check (this was in the 90’s, how I love today’s debit cards) to show up AT MY DOOR a half hour after I’d purchased food from him. When I wouldn’t open the door, he called me twenty times (prompting me to take my phone number off my checks). No.
3. Complete stranger who was chatting up a different woman at the bus stop as I exited the bus. Didn’t think twice about it, until a few minutes later when I realized he was now chasing me across the parking lot to catch up to me so he could chat me up next. No.
Fuck these assholes for claiming that “all I did was say hi.” No, you did not. You are a fucking creep, and no woman has to explain or justify the emotional response she has to you. You do not get to control how people respond to you.
Blindingly, hatefully, ragefully angry because a woman has told you that you’re making her uncomfortable. That’s not threatening in the least.
ALSO THANKS FOR THE VIDEOS DAVID. I’M SO PUMPED NOW. SO PUMPED.
OK expressing respectful attention to a woman/person of your preferred gender/other human being once is not enough to label someone a creep. That would be true.
But as usual MRAs miss the key detail: being a creep usually involves repetition. If you keep pushing your attention onto someone who has made it clear by word, look or action that it is unwelcome? You’re a creep. Likewise if your method of showing attention is rude, obscene or just shitty behavior, you are a creep.
Although I personally prefer the term “cretin.”
Of course, they can’t accept this since it throws their entire method of “harass the woman until she lets you use her as a fleshlight and then makes you a sandwich” approach to one half of the population out the window. Hence claiming “creep” is a worse slur than ANYTHING ELSE EVAR THE PAIN THE PAIN THE GRUESOME MANPAIN OF THIS TERRIBLE TRAGEDY.
Ahem. Sorry.
Respect my human right to never be told “no”, ladies.
This is it exactly! And to counter the MRAs who claim that “women are fine if Brad Pitt harasses them,” the third guy in my examples was gorgeous. If he had approached me in an organic, natural way, I would have been very flattered. Instead, he was chasing me as I was walking home, which I found threatening. And he did it right after I’d seen him hitting on someone else, which I found gross. And when my discomfort made me lie to him and say I had a boyfriend and he asked me, “But are you faithful?” I found that to be extremely disrespectful and again, gross.
Nope, sorry, you’re still a CREEP.
You must feel that something is wrong with the way you think if you’re so offended by the term.
You know what JC leaves out of his definition? The part about “and when she asks you to please desist, you don’t. ” It’s not the initial attention, usually, that is the problem – it’s the won’t stop part that makes the attention creepy.
Let’s ignore the fact that guys who think their needs trump others’ body sovereingty are pretty creepy. Let’s say that guy is absolutely not creepy on the big objective scale of creepiness.
Why the fuck does he encourage more creepy behaviour in others? It reminds me of the guys who whine about slutty sluts and then cry that they can’t get laid. Consistency, guys. If you don’t like being labeled creepy, a pro-creep manifesto probably isn’t a good idea.
Check this list: http://twistedsifter.com/2012/04/50-animated-gifs-for-every-situation-ever/ Scroll down to 39, it’s MISANDRY!
http://i.imgur.com/1n8zR.gif
It’s their “creepy” gif.
Has Mr Collins ever sung a song about Reshiram? I’m going to have to pout some bleach down my ears now…
And speaking as someone who has “show[n] more attention, platonic, romantic or sexual, to a person then they so desire at that time” on a couple of occasions and not been called a creep for it, I suspect it’s something about how you do it.
See, the thing is, people know that other people have feelings and desires, and they know that they’re occasionally going to be on the receiving end of those feelings and desires, and they’re mostly ok with that. What they’re not ok with is when people invade their personal space, disregard their rejections, or essentially stalk them – those things are creepy. This is not social awkwardness, it’s just not sparing a single thought for the fact that other people are people with real reactions to things.
Here’s the thing that always blows my mind about this. Yes, of course we all know that part of being an adult is when someone makes it clear that your behavior is inappropriate or unwanted, and you feel embarrassed or ashamed and you learn from it.
But another part of being a grown-up? Checking in with yourself and honestly considering your intentions and behavior, and going, “You know what? There was no way for me to have known that the other person would react in that way. I’m sure they have their own good reasons, and I’m certainly not going to press the issue with them, but don’t think I did anything wrong, here.” And then you move on.
So yes, it is within the realm of possibility that you had innocent intentions toward a woman once or twice and they interpreted your behavior negatively. Miscommunication happens! But the solution is not to attack women for being creeped out. The real solution is NOT TO HAVE SELF-ESTEEM AS BRITTLE AS MICA. jesus christ.
@Bonelady
I think this partially explains the whole “if Brad Pitt* did the same things, he wouldn’t be called a creep!” idea that Chie was talking about. Because there are some situations where two men might approach the same woman in identical, non-creepy ways, and she might want to continue interacting with the one she’s more attracted to. If the approach is obviously for sex or dating, why would she want to continue down that path with a person she doesn’t find attractive? So she might indicate “please stop” to Guy One and “go on” to Guy Two. If Guy One persists after that the please stop? Creepy! If Guy Two persists after the go on, totally not creepy!
If you think of women as people with boundaries this makes perfect sense, but if you think of women as puzzles to unlock you’re going to get confused, because you’ll think Guy One “did the exact same thing” as Guy Two and got a different result. But of course, he didn’t do the exact same thing. He violated boundaries, which Guy Two never did.
*as always, an odd choice of celebrity.
If Brad Pitt did any of the things that men have done to me that I considered creepy, I’d actually find it EXTRA creepy, because of the whole ‘Whoa Brad Pitt, wtf are you doing here and why are you following me around hitting on me? ‘.
God, what a pathetic whiner. I”m 99% sure the guy saying this is a white man, who’s never been called gender/racial slurs.
@chie satonaka
God, that’s so fucking creepy and invasive 🙁
@chie: Brrrr, those are creepy. I’m sorry that men felt so entitled to your attention and your body. Hugs/coffee/donuts!
Ok. Anecdote time.
At a bus stop, creep begins to circle me like a fucking vulture. I pull out a book I bought for a friend (on the psychology of school rampage shootings) and begin to read where the clerk put my receipt in, with the book held out straight in front of me. Creep circles my bench a few more times, then bends over, presumably to read the title (“ceremonial violence”), and then stands there for a minute.
Creep: Watcha readin’?
Shaun: It’s a papery thing with words in. We call them books.
Creep: That sounds fascinating! Is it fiction or non fiction?
First, circling like a vulture is creepy. Second, not listening to the words that come out of my mouth is creepy. Creep is a creep.
Do y’all remember bathroom dude? Far less creepy than bus stop creep.
I’m sorry to hear about all the creeps 🙁 hugs for anybody who likes.
I AM ALSO PUMPED, AND READY TO DO SOME SERIOUS VARSITY-LEVEL CREEP-SHAMING THIS WEEKEND!
And seriously guys, don’t do that. (Someone had to say it.) XD
*offers hugs to anyone who needs it because creepy dudes are creepy*