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Red Piller: “Training a loyal, well-behaved dog isn’t much different than training a loyal, well-behaved girlfriend/plate/FWB. “

How to totally score with the babes.
How to totally score with the babes.

Over on the Red Pill Subreddit — where manly ALPHA MALES trade tips on how to totally dominate the ladies with their awesome ALPHATUDE — one enterprising fellow has a suggestion for aspiring lady-dominators: take a tip or two from professional dog trainers and treat your bitch like a bitch!

TRPsubmitter, an official Red Pill Subreddit Endorsed Contributor, explains how you can use the magic of Operant Conditioning to train your gal:

Training a loyal, well-behaved dog isn’t much different than training a loyal, well-behaved girlfriend/plate/FWB. Both substrates (dogs, women) have innate submissive/obedient tendencies that should be emphasized along with unwanted behaviors to be diminished and punished. If you know anything about dogs, you know that many “incidents” are often the fault of the owner failing to provide a proper outlet for a dog’s energy or natural predispositions.

Women have natural predispositions too: Attention-seeking, curious, emotional, irrational, solipsistic, unable to constructively deal with stress/criticism, likes to blame others, etc. Almost all of these can be subjected to a combination of operant conditioning.

Yeah, that pretty much describes all possible predispositions women might have. Because women are terrible!

Anyhoo, operant conditioning is all about rewarding or punishing behaviors after the fact as a way of encouraging or discouraging these behaviors. It’s easy to understand how that might work if your dog poops on your rug. But how might that work with your girlfriend/plate/FWB? Also, what the fuck is a “plate?” TRPsubmitter only answers the former question, alas. But he does so with some very helpful and completely realistic examples:

Problem: Some girl you’re sleeping with is getting uppity. You’ve had sex with her before several times…but this time she has arbitrarily decided to give LMR.

That’s Last Minute Resistance. In other words, she said “no,” and you don’t want to respect that “no.”

Analyze reason:

1) She may be trying to shift the power dynamic in her favor; too much “Sex & the city” lately or she had a girl’s night out and her hamster is all powered up for a confrontation now.

Yes. That’s probably right. I’m not sure why watching reruns of a show that was cancelled nearly a decade ago would cause a woman to not want sex, but this dude is an ALPHA so he must know. Does watching old episodes of Friends — which also went off the air in 2004 — have the same effect?

2) She may be trying to retroactively reclassify you as her beta provider or “bf material” by making you work for it or by not being as sexually available all of a sudden.

Or maybe she just doesn’t want to have sex?

3) She has been “thinking alot lately” about her future; she is insecure suddenly about the unique nature of your sexual relationship.

Or maybe she just doesn’t want to have sex? Like, ALOT?

ALOT

No matter! For there is a SOLUTION!

Operant conditioning:

Positive reinforcement – Provide affection or recognition of her worth as a woman IF sex occurs.

Wait. Provide affection during and/or after sex? Sounds bizarre. But so bizarre it just might work!

Positive punishment – Provide active punishment. Tell her to GTFO or smoothly tell her that she can “rest a bit while I get some stuff done”, then leave her sitting on the bed alone.

Acting like a petulant child: the best way to show her you’re THE MAN.

Negative reinforcement – Remove active punishment. Be the bad boy that she wants to prove herself too. You’re not giving her validation from the onset and she is wondering “WHY?!”. Make her earn it and only remove this lack of attention if she does what you want. Maybe you’re both at a bar instead. Proceed to freely & cheerfully interact with other girls in front of her and stop this only if she does what you want (I think this one is best applied in the pickup phase).

Uh, I thought in this scenario you were about to have sex with her and she said no. Why are we at a bar now? Where is this bar?

Negative punishment – Remove active reward. You’re making out on the couch. She makes comment “not tonight”. Give her the cold shoulder. Proceed to remove all affection, attention or “bf-like behaviors”.

Then march off to your room, shouting “you’re not the boss of me! I wish I never was born!” Slam the door and sulk.

Who knew being an ALPHA was so much like being an emo teen?

Happily, TRPsubmitter got a lot of positive reinforcement for his post. Good alpha dog! ComplainyGuy — apparently speaking for many, given the several dozen upvotes he got — wrote enthusiastically:

THIS is a fucking great example of how we should be talking about women.

Bad: “Women have no value to anybody ever. Totally glad her mum died fuck bitches. Pffft I wish we still had chains and whips” (I have seen all these comments on here in the last week)

 good:”Women have natural predispositions too: Attention-seeking, curious, emotional, irrational, solipsistic, unable to constructively deal with stress/criticism, likes to blame others, etc”

The difference? The first is angsty, immature males who bring down the quality of this subreddit.

The second is a man observing, from a mature, Self-confident, perspective, the real nature of gender dynamics.

Wow. So treating women like dogs is apparently a big step up for the Red Pillers.

(Thanks to mrsamsa in the Blue Pill subreddit for pointing me to this wondrous Red Pill fuckery.)

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cloudiah
7 years ago

Maybe substitute “hypocrisy” for “irony” above, on 2nd thought.

Also, the game they were discussing in TRP (see my link) is legit fucked up & abusive, but also more or less what red pillers want to do to women so there’s that.

pineapplecookies
pineapplecookies
7 years ago

I know this sounds silly, but I always think how sad their sexual life might be… I mean, I don’t mean no sex. But… what sex is that they are having? I bet it is not pleasure oriented.

CassandraSays
7 years ago

Sex for a PUA is when you manipulate a woman into doing something that she doesn’t want to do, which proves that you’re totes alpha. Who cares whether or not it feels good? It’s not about pleasure, it’s about keeping score.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“Now let me get my goldfish training book”

That might be easier than training an idiot, assuming you reward with food. I accidentally trained puff that way, he comes out the moment he sees the pipette and starts nibbling the end if nothing comes out, because damnit, why is the food dispensor not dispensing!

Athywren
Athywren
7 years ago

you’re a feminist which means you’re closed minded to viewpoints that disagree with yours (as is inherent to the modern day version of feminism.) Basically a bigot. Good day.

See, that’s where we dogmatic feminists go wrong – when someone says something we disagree with, we reason with them, but that’s impossible because we’re all closed minded, which is why none of us have changed our minds about anything at any point. What you should do is say “you’re closed minded and a bigot. Good day, sir! And then, if the other party attempts to continue the conversation, take out your finest riding glove, slap them across the chops, and demand satisfaction for the insult.

katz
7 years ago

which is why none of us have changed our minds about anything at any point

Well, we’ve certainly never had a case where a prominent member of our community took a position which was then disagreed with by various other community members, and after some respectful back-and-forth, changed zir mind based on the evidence given. That definitely didn’t happen just yesterday.

Brooked
Brooked
7 years ago

@cloudiah
The game is listed on Nickelodean’s website as “game>girl games>The Boyfriend Trainer” and training includes a taser and a dog leash?

Wow, way to contribute Nickelodean.

Athywren
Athywren
7 years ago

Bunch of bigoted overprivileged superficial self-entitled wretches.

What does privilege mean, again? I thought I knew it… but I obviously don’t…

SittieKitty
7 years ago

Apropos of nothing, does anyone know where the notches on the bedpost phrase came from? I’m wondering if it was actually ever a thing…

CassandraSays
7 years ago

Self-entitled

Where did this linguistic abomination originate? Every time I see it it’s like nails down a chalkboard.

freemage
freemage
7 years ago

SittieKitty: I believe it’s a derivative of ‘notches on a gun’, which in turn was a largely fictional concept popular in Westerns–having a fast-draw duelist who had several notches on the grip of his gun was a convenient shorthand trope for saying he was a badass; each notch was supposed to represent a kill. Not sure when the concept migrated to the bedpost, but if anyone ever HAS done it, they did it in imitation of the adage, not the other way ’round.

Xen
Xen
7 years ago

These guys would have no problem hitting a dog with a rolled up newspaper then calming that doing so made the dog faithful to them. Yuck.

SittieKitty
7 years ago

interesting freemage, thanks!

Kim
Kim
7 years ago

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?allowed_in_frame=0&search=notches+on+the+bedpost&searchmode=none

“score (v.)
“to cut with incisions or notches,” c.1400; “to record by means of notches” (late 14c.); see score (n.). Meanings “to keep record of the scores in a game, etc.” and “to make or add a point for one’s side in a game, etc.” both attested from 1742. The slang sense, in reference to men, “achieve intercourse” first recorded 1960. Meaning “to be scorekeeper, to keep the score in a game or contest” is from 1846. In the musical sense from 1839. Related: Scored; scoring.”

Ok, it isn’t that exact phrase, but I’d say it’s more likely that “notches on a bedpost” would have come from scoring in games, rather than notches on a gun. Since, according to this, people have been making notches/scoring things to keep a tally for centuries before guns were invented.

Kim
Kim
7 years ago

Woops, guns were invented in the 14th century – but it’s still centuries before the wild west.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Self-entitled

Where did this linguistic abomination originate? Every time I see it it’s like nails down a chalkboard.

Like there’s any other way to be entitled. This right up there with “irregardless” for me.

kittehserf
7 years ago

@Dvarg, I LOVE your rationalisation hamster pic! <3

@auggz: "Is it really hard for these people to understand that women are people?"

I don't think they want to. I doubt anyone could be that stupid. It doesn't suit these guys to acknowledge that women are people, not mysteriously misbehaving sexbotpets. I’m past giving them any benefit of the doubt, and that includes that they may genuinely be so fucking stupid as to not get that we’re human.

On the subject of plates, well, if I’m gonna be a plate it’s going to be majolica at the very least.

@pineapplecookies – wrt their sex lives, it’s like Cassandra said. I get the feeling that reaching orgasm inside a woman is all they care about with the act itself. If they get it inside someone who’s unwilling or unenthusiastic, that’s just bonus enjoyment.

Brooked
Brooked
7 years ago

An AVFM article I stumbled on had a link to the sort-of-PUA Doc Love. He’s an elderly advice columnist who gives lovelorn men advice and that advice is always “give me a hundred dollars” for The System(tm). I read a handful of the letters and my advice to Doc Love is if you are going to post fake letters from readers don’t write all of them in the exact same voice. And men under 40 don’t use the phrase “a nice young lady” these days.

Anyway, the letters were pretty amusing because they are horror stories from the friendzone that are only slightly more believable than the guy on Reddit who was spermjacked and moved to China to avoid paying child support. A 25 year old guy is best friends with a middle-aged single mother who beds strange guys while the friendzoner does major home repair for her for free? That’s totally real. For a change of pace, he also gets letters from men who bought The System(tm) but need a hint or two on how to harness all it’s miraculous benefits.

It reads like a parody but isn’t (I think), like much of the PUA/MRM stuff I’ve been fascinated with for the last few weeks. Thank a bunch for that Typhoid David.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Like there’s any other way to be entitled. This right up there with “irregardless” for me.

I’m torn between laughing at and side-eyeing people who don’t know that irregardless is just a joke word (or should be).

The other ones that piss me off are disinterested when uninterested is what’s meant, and laying when it should be lying.

this one is between perspectives
this one is between perspectives
7 years ago

CassandraSays: it hurts met like ‘epic’ and ‘literally’

Ally S
7 years ago

I tend to get annoyed by “over-exaggerate.”

Athywren
Athywren
7 years ago

@Ally
You wouldn’t want to under-exaggerate, would you?

Kim
Kim
7 years ago

@this one – How come you don’t like epic?

kittehserf
7 years ago

Athywren – That’s almost a Goldwynism. 🙂

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
7 years ago

So if women just ‘naturally’ act like that and we should ‘train’ them out of it, I suppose the MRAs won’t mind us trying to ‘train’ them out of acting like the natural rapists they all think they are?

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

thenatfantastic – But don’t tell them that that’s their assumption, lest they cry “MISANDRY!!11!!”. 😉

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
7 years ago

@alice – I don’t care what they think, I bought this t shirt the other day (actually the whole site has pretty awesome feminist t shirts, I bought two others at the same time).

@argenti – re: puffs and pippettes – I had to take one of the rats to the vets yesterday and he’s on antibiotics now. BoyFantastic and I discussed at least ten plans of how to sneak the medicine to him, from soaking it in bread to pinning him down (which was ABSOLUTELY the last resort)… but it turns out if you put peanut butter on the end of the pippette and squeeze it when he’s nomming the peanut butter he doesn’t even bat an eyelid

(OT)

@Dvarg – I have a Swedish band staying with me from Sunday-Tuesday, anything I should talk to them about if we run out of translated conversation?

kittehserf
7 years ago

Love that shirt, thenat! 🙂

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
7 years ago

I’m going to wear it everywhere. It’s a long running joke between BoyFantastic and I that whenever things go wrong (spill a drink, run out of kitchen roll, tear our jeans) to look at the sky, shake our fists and whisper “misandry!”.

Which now that I type it out, doesn’t seem funny but trust me :/

CassandraSays
7 years ago

With a hoodie over it, I assume? I’m in California and even here the idea of wearing a tank top right now just sent me scurrying over to the heating vent.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
7 years ago

@Cassandra – I’m from Yorkshire. We persevere. By the way, saw this earlier and thought you may sympathise.

dustydeste
dustydeste
7 years ago

Aaaahhhh thenatfantastic now I need a closetful of new shirts daaaamnn yooooouuuuu <3

(Also your running joke is funny; would laugh again)

CassandraSays
7 years ago

Pretty much only the last one works for me, unfortunately, since I spent so little time in Scotland until I was in my teens (and then got stuck with a bunch of toffs).

You know what another regional divide is, though? Steak pie versus steak and kidney pie. Where I come from it’s always steak only, so I wasn’t too happy with the addition of the kidneys down south.

Also bread. I had no problem finding good ciabatta or a nice baguette in London, or a perfect traditional bagel, but basic loaves of brown or white bread bread? Never quite right.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
7 years ago

The true region divide is on what you call a bread bun. Barm? Bun? Bap? Cake? Other regional variation I haven’t thought of?

/english

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
7 years ago

I never got the pie thing cos raised by veggies plus going veggie when I was 11 :/

CassandraSays
7 years ago

Is it a butty as soon as you put something on it in Yorkshire too?

CassandraSays
7 years ago

Speaking of which, possibly the oddest Scottish variation I know of involves taking a roll, cutting it open, inserting a small chocolate bar, and zapping it in the microwave for long enough to melt the chocolate. Everyone at my high school bought these from the bakery right outside the school gates.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Steak and kidney pie, food of the gods!

Did anyone see the really creepy vintage halloween costumes on that site? Be warned, they are scary stuff.

http://usvsth3m.com/post/63549827914/16-creepy-vintage-halloween-costumes-which-will-make

kittehserf
7 years ago

Cool!

Cthulhu's Intern
7 years ago

So I’m just wondering something about Redpillers/PUAs: If they hate women who party a lot and don’t do things they consider womanly, why do they only try to look for women in places like nightclubs and not places like, say, sewing classes?

kittehserf
7 years ago

Sewing classes and such are girly, they’re not for Alpha Dudes, and the cooties might be catching. It’s a well known fact that learning to sew or bake or knit or anything makes a bro’s dick fall off.

More generally, the loserboys might actually have to LEARN something and pay attention to it, instead of using all their energy insulting women. I think it’d make their brains implode.

CassandraSays
7 years ago

I don’t think that the concept of having sex with women who they don’t dislike has ever occurred to them, since there are no women who they do like.

Cthulhu's Intern
7 years ago

Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems that TRP has two goals:
1. To have sex with as many women as fast as possible
2. To find a woman who doesn’t easily have sex
Those two goals are contradictory.

Brooked
Brooked
7 years ago

@auggziliary
They still make Spyro the Dragon games? That 1990s flashback makes me realize that I’m very, very old.

Yes, those look like racist caricatures and it’s not surprising other people are oblivious to it. People unknowingly invoke racist archetypes out of cultural ignorance rather than bigotry all the time. I tend to pick up on it, not because I’m some super anti-bigot, I just find cultural studies interesting. I also tend to not be to judgmental about it unless people are going to refuse to see what’s right in front of their faces (eg Birth of a Nation apologists). I think I know how you feel though, because it can be weird when other people don’t see it and when you point it out the response is often knee jerk defensiveness – “I’m not racist, they aren’t anti-Semitic, that’s not homophobic, you’re being too PC, you think everything’s racist etc”.

kittehserf
7 years ago

1. To have sex with as many women as fast as possible

I know it’s not what you referred to, but I’m thinking the five-second-count-down-to-explosion type of guy here.

Which could well be relevant, with this lot.

Of course, the whole thing with finding a woman who doesn’t readily have sex seems to have the elements of finding a virgin, so she has no comparison to show just how lousy these guys are in bed, and the idea of forcing a woman to have sex. Control and causing distress, that’s their Game.

takshak
takshak
7 years ago

I’ve used dog training techniques on people. You can get a lot of compliance with cookies.

freemage
freemage
7 years ago

Kim | October 31, 2013 at 6:46 pm

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?allowed_in_frame=0&search=notches+on+the+bedpost&searchmode=none

“score (v.)
“to cut with incisions or notches,” c.1400; “to record by means of notches” (late 14c.); see score (n.). Meanings “to keep record of the scores in a game, etc.” and “to make or add a point for one’s side in a game, etc.” both attested from 1742. The slang sense, in reference to men, “achieve intercourse” first recorded 1960. Meaning “to be scorekeeper, to keep the score in a game or contest” is from 1846. In the musical sense from 1839. Related: Scored; scoring.”

Ok, it isn’t that exact phrase, but I’d say it’s more likely that “notches on a bedpost” would have come from scoring in games, rather than notches on a gun. Since, according to this, people have been making notches/scoring things to keep a tally for centuries before guns were invented.

Hm… I definitely agree that the origin of the concept is the ‘keeping score in a game’–that’s where the ‘gun’ variant comes from, too. I do suspect (read: have no concrete evidence for) that the popularity of the phrase in dime-novels and pulps of the late 1800s to the early 1900s and the movie and TV Westerns of the mid-century is what made it viable as a pick-up in the 60s, though.

So I don’t think I was totally wrong, but you’re probably more correct than I for the origin.

Athywren
Athywren
7 years ago

@Cassandra – I’m from Yorkshire. We persevere. By the way, saw this earlier and thought you may sympathise.

13 is a god damned lie! Though the fact that my home town is ‘Ull might ‘ave summat ter do wiv ‘at.
The northern countryside is beautiful though. That part is excessively true.
Also, 8, chip butty with gravy, mushrooms & onions. Hell yes! (But that picture is not appetising.)

The true region divide is on what you call a bread bun. Barm? Bun? Bap? Cake? Other regional variation I haven’t thought of?

Stottie (pronounced sto’ie)

You know what another regional divide is, though? Steak pie versus steak and kidney pie. Where I come from it’s always steak only, so I wasn’t too happy with the addition of the kidneys down south.

I know, right? People know what kidneys do, right? And then they want to eat that?! EEEEEWWWW NOTHANKS!

@augzilliary
I think if they lost the arrow, it might be alright… but as it is, yeah, that’s very reminiscent of a very bad cartoon.

CassandraSays
7 years ago

Would you like some filtration organs with your steak and gravy? No, actually, I would not.

(It’s the smell. They smell exactly how you’d expect kidneys to smell if you know what they do.)