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Red Piller: “Training a loyal, well-behaved dog isn’t much different than training a loyal, well-behaved girlfriend/plate/FWB. “

How to totally score with the babes.
How to totally score with the babes.

Over on the Red Pill Subreddit — where manly ALPHA MALES trade tips on how to totally dominate the ladies with their awesome ALPHATUDE — one enterprising fellow has a suggestion for aspiring lady-dominators: take a tip or two from professional dog trainers and treat your bitch like a bitch!

TRPsubmitter, an official Red Pill Subreddit Endorsed Contributor, explains how you can use the magic of Operant Conditioning to train your gal:

Training a loyal, well-behaved dog isn’t much different than training a loyal, well-behaved girlfriend/plate/FWB. Both substrates (dogs, women) have innate submissive/obedient tendencies that should be emphasized along with unwanted behaviors to be diminished and punished. If you know anything about dogs, you know that many “incidents” are often the fault of the owner failing to provide a proper outlet for a dog’s energy or natural predispositions.

Women have natural predispositions too: Attention-seeking, curious, emotional, irrational, solipsistic, unable to constructively deal with stress/criticism, likes to blame others, etc. Almost all of these can be subjected to a combination of operant conditioning.

Yeah, that pretty much describes all possible predispositions women might have. Because women are terrible!

Anyhoo, operant conditioning is all about rewarding or punishing behaviors after the fact as a way of encouraging or discouraging these behaviors. It’s easy to understand how that might work if your dog poops on your rug. But how might that work with your girlfriend/plate/FWB? Also, what the fuck is a “plate?” TRPsubmitter only answers the former question, alas. But he does so with some very helpful and completely realistic examples:

Problem: Some girl you’re sleeping with is getting uppity. You’ve had sex with her before several times…but this time she has arbitrarily decided to give LMR.

That’s Last Minute Resistance. In other words, she said “no,” and you don’t want to respect that “no.”

Analyze reason:

1) She may be trying to shift the power dynamic in her favor; too much “Sex & the city” lately or she had a girl’s night out and her hamster is all powered up for a confrontation now.

Yes. That’s probably right. I’m not sure why watching reruns of a show that was cancelled nearly a decade ago would cause a woman to not want sex, but this dude is an ALPHA so he must know. Does watching old episodes of Friends — which also went off the air in 2004 — have the same effect?

2) She may be trying to retroactively reclassify you as her beta provider or “bf material” by making you work for it or by not being as sexually available all of a sudden.

Or maybe she just doesn’t want to have sex?

3) She has been “thinking alot lately” about her future; she is insecure suddenly about the unique nature of your sexual relationship.

Or maybe she just doesn’t want to have sex? Like, ALOT?

ALOT

No matter! For there is a SOLUTION!

Operant conditioning:

Positive reinforcement – Provide affection or recognition of her worth as a woman IF sex occurs.

Wait. Provide affection during and/or after sex? Sounds bizarre. But so bizarre it just might work!

Positive punishment – Provide active punishment. Tell her to GTFO or smoothly tell her that she can “rest a bit while I get some stuff done”, then leave her sitting on the bed alone.

Acting like a petulant child: the best way to show her you’re THE MAN.

Negative reinforcement – Remove active punishment. Be the bad boy that she wants to prove herself too. You’re not giving her validation from the onset and she is wondering “WHY?!”. Make her earn it and only remove this lack of attention if she does what you want. Maybe you’re both at a bar instead. Proceed to freely & cheerfully interact with other girls in front of her and stop this only if she does what you want (I think this one is best applied in the pickup phase).

Uh, I thought in this scenario you were about to have sex with her and she said no. Why are we at a bar now? Where is this bar?

Negative punishment – Remove active reward. You’re making out on the couch. She makes comment “not tonight”. Give her the cold shoulder. Proceed to remove all affection, attention or “bf-like behaviors”.

Then march off to your room, shouting “you’re not the boss of me! I wish I never was born!” Slam the door and sulk.

Who knew being an ALPHA was so much like being an emo teen?

Happily, TRPsubmitter got a lot of positive reinforcement for his post. Good alpha dog! ComplainyGuy — apparently speaking for many, given the several dozen upvotes he got — wrote enthusiastically:

THIS is a fucking great example of how we should be talking about women.

Bad: “Women have no value to anybody ever. Totally glad her mum died fuck bitches. Pffft I wish we still had chains and whips” (I have seen all these comments on here in the last week)

 good:”Women have natural predispositions too: Attention-seeking, curious, emotional, irrational, solipsistic, unable to constructively deal with stress/criticism, likes to blame others, etc”

The difference? The first is angsty, immature males who bring down the quality of this subreddit.

The second is a man observing, from a mature, Self-confident, perspective, the real nature of gender dynamics.

Wow. So treating women like dogs is apparently a big step up for the Red Pillers.

(Thanks to mrsamsa in the Blue Pill subreddit for pointing me to this wondrous Red Pill fuckery.)

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Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
7 years ago

What is more solipsistic than being unable/unwilling to understand or accept that sometimes your partner might not want to have sex right at that moment?

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“Positive punishment – Provide active punishment. Tell her to GTFO or smoothly tell her that she can “rest a bit while I get some stuff done”, then leave her sitting on the bed alone.”

Uh…how is that necessarily punishment? I mean, if “get stuff done” means he’s going to take care of stuff and leave her alone regarding sexual matters, isn’t that! you know! one of the options for “things he should do once told no”?

Also, David, it’s out there, not crazy, please?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

”Women have natural predispositions too: Attention-seeking, curious, emotional, irrational, solipsistic, unable to constructively deal with stress/criticism, likes to blame others, etc”

Take it away, Encyclopedia Britannica!

defense mechanism (human psychology)
3. Projection is a form of defense in which unwanted feelings are displaced onto another person, where they then appear as a threat from the external world. A common form of projection occurs when an individual, threatened by his own angry feelings, accuses another of harbouring hostile thoughts.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

I wouldn’t trust these assholes to train a dog properly.

I do love it when they show exactly how their tiny minds work, though.

Maude LL
Maude LL
7 years ago

Here it is everyone: plate theory! (it’s serious because it’s a theory)
http://therationalmale.com/2011/08/19/plate-theory-2/

HeatherN
7 years ago

Awhile back I wrote a bit of a joke piece comparing a Return of Kings’ article about women to dog training…how messed up is it when the satire is just about as extreme as the actual shit these people think! http://radicalcentristblog.wordpress.com/2013/08/12/8-signs-shes-a-keeper/

Women are people. WOMEN ARE PEOPLE…now if only there were a way to force this bit of knowledge into their brains…

HeatherN
7 years ago

@Maude LL: I thought standard gender essentialist nonsense says that women are better at multitasking…

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

“What is more solipsistic than being unable/unwilling to understand or accept that sometimes your partner might not want to have sex right at that moment?”

TRPsubmitter’s whole post seems like a fine illustration of solipsistic thinking. Women aren’t complex, thinking human beings to him. They’re non-human animals that can (and should) be easily trained to fulfill his needs, and nothing more.

What’s with the “women as dogs” metaphor, anyway? They really seem to like it. And seem to see absolutely no problem with comparing human beings to animals.

bodycrimes
7 years ago

They’re a bit late to the party. There was a famous NY Times article about humans using operant conditioning on one another:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

We reinforce each other’s behaviours all the time, though we do it relatively unconsciously. Here’s the thing. To make it work in a positive way, you have to understand how creatures ACTUALLY function, as opposed to how it suits you to believe they function. As any animal trainer will tell you, you can work with the animal and watch the animal flourish to your mutual benefit, or you can abuse the animal and crush it. Humans are the same, more or less.

Fortunately, we have the ability to spot abuse in progress and go “fuck you, moron” on our way out the door.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

bodycrimes: I bet they hear that exit line a lot. Or alot.

Maude LL
Maude LL
7 years ago

I’m looking forward to the PUA theory on the mimicking the alpha turtle to pick up more plates.
I wonder if they learned from the PUA master?
http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2011/12/newt-gingrich-holding-animals.html

Howard Bannister
7 years ago

Ohhhh, PLATE theory! As in, you’re just another spinning plate to me… I keep lots of women hanging.

In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

Welp, that clears that right up.

bodycrimes
7 years ago

@auggziliary – it’s the amusing lack of irony that keeps me coming back for more. My favourite finds are posts/comments where the person is going on about how women are solipsistic and that’s why she won’t EVEN TRY to get inside his head and see the world from his perspective the he wants her to.

katz
7 years ago

There’s absolutely no sense that there might be any acceptable outcome to a human interaction other than “I get exactly what I want without doing anything for you.”

…Are these guys House Republicans?

tedthefed
tedthefed
7 years ago

I really like “curious” in there. How amazing that this guy just obliviously reveals that he thinks curiosity is a bad thing.

Athywren
Athywren
7 years ago

Training a loyal, well-behaved dog isn’t much different than training a loyal, well-behaved girlfriend/plate/FWB. Both substrates (dogs, women) have innate submissive/obedient tendencies that should be emphasized along with unwanted behaviors to be diminished and punished.

I am trying very hard not to read “girlfriend/plate/FWB” as “negro.”
I am failing.
That’s disturbing reading.

katz
7 years ago

Yesterday’s Strange Word Usage of the Day was “canard.” I think today’s is “substrate.”

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

If all women were naturally submissive and obedient then it wouldn’t be necessary to train them to display those qualities.

(Yes, I realize that this is like attempting to reason with a deck chair.)

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
7 years ago

What does FWB stand for?

Athywren
Athywren
7 years ago

What does FWB stand for?

Friend With Benefits.
I’m more worried about how these guys expect to train crockery.

catballou1
catballou1
7 years ago

This has been done before, as a comedy: “If a Man Answers.” Sandra Dee tries to train Bobby Darrin to be a good husband by following the advice in a dog-training book. He finds out, tables are turned, and hilarity ensues.

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

cassandrakitty: Well, it used to be that way, then eeeevil feminists came along and somehow managed to get all women everywhere to go against their totally natural nature. Now the poor men have to completely retrain women, one by one, if men ever want to get any.

StarStorm
7 years ago

Uh… If I want a dog, I WILL GET A DOG. (I’m a cat person, so not happening).

Also “plate”… that’s a new one.

cloudiah
7 years ago

So I’m adding “plate” to my list of weird words that now cause me to give people the side-eye.

katz
7 years ago

(Yes, I realize that this is like attempting to reason with a deck chair.)

Is that like talking to a dining room table?

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/247151/august-19-2009/barney-frank-refuses-to-talk-to-a-dining-room-table

(For those who can’t watch: Barney Frank told someone that talking to them would be like talking to a dining room table, so Stephen Colbert talks to some pieces of furniture.)

CassandraSays
7 years ago

@ sparky

So what you’re saying is that feminists are much better at training people than PUAs are.

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
7 years ago

Friend With Benefits.
I’m more worried about how these guys expect to train crockery.

Oh, DUH! I can’t believe I didn’t get that.

freemage
freemage
7 years ago
hannasoumaki
7 years ago

this is very disgusting. i have seen many men and women (even from my own family) try to narrow all women down like this, but to liken them to lower animals and suggest treating them like such makes me nauseous. may i ask also what a red pill is in reference to? like extra testosterone intake??

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

CassandraSays: Yep, feminist are evil genius super-villains.

Feminists are also stupid, ugly, hateful, wrong and fart a lot.

Yay! Manly-man manosphere logic! Nothing like it in the world!

CassandraSays
7 years ago

Maybe our hamsters are the real super-villains, and they’ve trained us to carry out their diabolical plans for them.

Brooked
Brooked
7 years ago

My womanly curiousity got the better of me so, with the help of male neighbor, I googled “plate PUA women” and found out that “plate spinning” is a part of PUA lingo. They juggle relationships with women (aka plates) in a super slick, totally cool like-a-plate spinner way in their mostly imaginary world.

*Cues “The More You Know” rainbow*

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

Wait wait wait. I’m a plate now?

Am I ceramic or plastic or paper? Or am I metal? Or am I earthenware? And how big of a diameter am I? And can I be placed in the dishwasher?

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW!!!11!!one!

Brooked
Brooked
7 years ago

Shit, Ninja’d by everyone. Whoopsy.

katz
7 years ago

I’m sure it’s complete coincidence that this method requires him to never ever be nice to your girlfriend just randomly.

Shadow
Shadow
7 years ago

@katz

Yesterday’s Strange Word Usage of the Day was “canard.” I think today’s is “substrate.”

Thank you!!!! I spent like two minutes on that sentence trying to figure out if it’s just me!

Shadow
Shadow
7 years ago

My womanly curiousity got the better of me so, with the help of male neighbor, I googled “plate PUA women” and found out that “plate spinning” is a part of PUA lingo. They juggle relationships with women (aka plates) in a super slick, totally cool like-a-plate spinner way in their mostly imaginary world.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh PUAs!! You may be able to make this shit up, but no one can make PUAs up!

Maude LL
Maude LL
7 years ago

I thought those guys complained women controlled men with the secks? All men must be biologically hardwired to be obedient (and to confirm my hypothesis, I declare all men who don’t do as I say to be dysfunctional. Clever loophole! Now let me get my goldfish training book).
There’s a good scientific reason for that. Eggs are rare and precious, and sperm is plentiful, therefore the human male must obey the alpha egg to reproduce. The male may use strategies for attention, such as joining a boys band, waxing its chest, or writing blog posts about goldsperm. This behaviour is rooted in an inherent craving for female approval. While goldsperm is misguided, the tactic is rooted in making a potential suitor believe that she can buy stocks with an endless supply of gold. Some human males go as far as to ruin their life’s career for female approval, demonstrating that this natural obedience is rooted deeply in the lizard brain.
I do the evo psych for you. Just like PUA theory, it is totally science (they have graphs!). If you dismiss it, you are clearly denying evolution. But I can draw a bar plot to add even more science, if needed.

bodycrimes
7 years ago

@Maude – thanks for clarifying. I always wondered why men would want to have sex.You know, it must be scary having a female enclose you that way. A bit frightening to be inside somebody else. I guess they go through it for access to eggs.

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
7 years ago

This song came up on my drive home. Tell ’em, Imelda May!

No matter where I go
You’re always following me
No matter what I do
You know you give me misery

Oh, you’re smotherin’ me baby
whoa yeah, you’re smotherin’ me baby
Oh yeah, you’re smotherin me baby
I can’t even breathe when I’m with you

Oh you’re holding on with claws
You think it’ll make me stay
the more you put your paws on me
You’re pushing me away

Oh, you’re smotherin’ me baby
whoa yeah, you’re smotherin’ me baby
Oh yeah, you’re smotherin me baby
I can’t even breathe when I’m with you
Oh yeah, you’re smotherin me baby
I can’t even breathe when I’m with you

Bonelady
Bonelady
7 years ago

Methinks that these guys ought to go back and read Karen Pryor’s “Don’t shoot the dog”. Oh, whoops, it was written by one of them ebil wimmenz. Seriously, I used to train dogs professionally using operant conditioning, and yes you can use it on people, but these guys don’t have it right. You do NOT punish when training with operant conditioning — it is counter productive. But Pryor’s book explains all that far better than I could…

Brooked
Brooked
7 years ago

If you check out the Reddit thread “coughdonkeyboner” (sweet handle bro!) posts a news flash from planet Earth.

I can’t speak for mehmsy, but I think the “lol” is because the people in this subreddit try to generalize half of the entire planet’s population. Everything listed there can be applied to any PERSON; they are not women-specific. All “alphas” are as irrational and emotional as any woman you can think of, but you’re too dense or arrogant to realize it.

Do you not realize how crazy every thread in r/theredpill sounds to anyone outside of this sub? I dare you to repeat any of the nonsense you read here in the real world, to a mixed audience. I would love to hear how that turns out.

You people make me sad. I hope one day you all will realize we’re all humans. We aren’t our genders.

This response apparently cuts “Illimitableman” to the quick because he responds with an eight paragraph essay in which he breathlessly discusses all his favorite shit theories.

My favorite line is,

Obviously talking about TRP ideas outside the sub is not a good idea, society is rad liberal and people care more about feelings and political correctness than they do facts or trends (outside finance and fashion) and honesty.

When “coughdonkeyboner” says he needs a keyboard and some time to respond to the word vomit, “Illimitableman” responds with

Its OK it’s not really a discussion to me, more of a statement. it’s not aimed personally at you, your posting elicited the statement because I’m starting to see this more and more, people turning up in here who don’t know shit talking the sub/philosophy down like they understand, when often they speak from ignorance and sometimes bigotry.”

“mehmsy” makes the same planet earth joke I do, which proves to be too much for “Illimitableman” to bear.

Communicating with you seriously won’t amount to much, you’re a feminist which means you’re closed minded to viewpoints that disagree with yours (as is inherent to the modern day version of feminism.) Basically a bigot. Good day.

This helps men learn the artistry of picking up women?

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
7 years ago

may i ask also what a red pill is in reference to? like extra testosterone intake??

It’s a Matrix reference. MRAs took the “red pill” and thus are the only ones who can see reality, because they are superheroes and totally awesome, just like NEO!

CassandraSays
7 years ago

What, you don’t think that ranting at women about whatever is going through your head and rounding it off my calling them bigots is a good pick-up technique.

I guess you should probably remember to insult their appearance too.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

I wouldn’t trust these assholes to train a dog properly.

Yeah, there are clear parallels between the bullying kind of dog trainer and these guys… not strange, since they both like to bully!

Personally, I prefer to bully neither people nor my dogs.

Brooked
Brooked
7 years ago

“Illimitableman” persecution complex is breathtaking. He seems to think people disagreeing with you is censorship and getting those people to shut up is free speech. His key philosophical position seems to be “Waaahh!”.

If USA is as free as it fucking preaches, freedom and democracy, perhaps the feminists should shut the fuck up censoring anyone they don’t like. Bunch of bigoted overprivileged superficial self-entitled wretches.

cloudiah
7 years ago

I thought you all might also enjoy this bowl of delicious hot buttered irony from TRP.

(Love the hamster, Dvärghundspossen!)

CassandraSays
7 years ago

The only real freedom is the freedom to make women STFU! Go MRM!

Yo, dude, democracy doesn’t mean that everyone else does what you want. If there are more people who like the ideas that feminism supports than there are people who like the ideas that the MRM supports, that will be reflected in who gets elected, what laws are passed, and so on.

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