Over on the Red Pill Subreddit — where manly ALPHA MALES trade tips on how to totally dominate the ladies with their awesome ALPHATUDE — one enterprising fellow has a suggestion for aspiring lady-dominators: take a tip or two from professional dog trainers and treat your bitch like a bitch!
TRPsubmitter, an official Red Pill Subreddit Endorsed Contributor, explains how you can use the magic of Operant Conditioning to train your gal:
Training a loyal, well-behaved dog isn’t much different than training a loyal, well-behaved girlfriend/plate/FWB. Both substrates (dogs, women) have innate submissive/obedient tendencies that should be emphasized along with unwanted behaviors to be diminished and punished. If you know anything about dogs, you know that many “incidents” are often the fault of the owner failing to provide a proper outlet for a dog’s energy or natural predispositions.
Women have natural predispositions too: Attention-seeking, curious, emotional, irrational, solipsistic, unable to constructively deal with stress/criticism, likes to blame others, etc. Almost all of these can be subjected to a combination of operant conditioning.
Yeah, that pretty much describes all possible predispositions women might have. Because women are terrible!
Anyhoo, operant conditioning is all about rewarding or punishing behaviors after the fact as a way of encouraging or discouraging these behaviors. It’s easy to understand how that might work if your dog poops on your rug. But how might that work with your girlfriend/plate/FWB? Also, what the fuck is a “plate?” TRPsubmitter only answers the former question, alas. But he does so with some very helpful and completely realistic examples:
Problem: Some girl you’re sleeping with is getting uppity. You’ve had sex with her before several times…but this time she has arbitrarily decided to give LMR.
That’s Last Minute Resistance. In other words, she said “no,” and you don’t want to respect that “no.”
Analyze reason:
1) She may be trying to shift the power dynamic in her favor; too much “Sex & the city” lately or she had a girl’s night out and her hamster is all powered up for a confrontation now.
Yes. That’s probably right. I’m not sure why watching reruns of a show that was cancelled nearly a decade ago would cause a woman to not want sex, but this dude is an ALPHA so he must know. Does watching old episodes of Friends — which also went off the air in 2004 — have the same effect?
2) She may be trying to retroactively reclassify you as her beta provider or “bf material” by making you work for it or by not being as sexually available all of a sudden.
Or maybe she just doesn’t want to have sex?
3) She has been “thinking alot lately” about her future; she is insecure suddenly about the unique nature of your sexual relationship.
Or maybe she just doesn’t want to have sex? Like, ALOT?
No matter! For there is a SOLUTION!
Operant conditioning:
Positive reinforcement – Provide affection or recognition of her worth as a woman IF sex occurs.
Wait. Provide affection during and/or after sex? Sounds bizarre. But so bizarre it just might work!
Positive punishment – Provide active punishment. Tell her to GTFO or smoothly tell her that she can “rest a bit while I get some stuff done”, then leave her sitting on the bed alone.
Acting like a petulant child: the best way to show her you’re THE MAN.
Negative reinforcement – Remove active punishment. Be the bad boy that she wants to prove herself too. You’re not giving her validation from the onset and she is wondering “WHY?!”. Make her earn it and only remove this lack of attention if she does what you want. Maybe you’re both at a bar instead. Proceed to freely & cheerfully interact with other girls in front of her and stop this only if she does what you want (I think this one is best applied in the pickup phase).
Uh, I thought in this scenario you were about to have sex with her and she said no. Why are we at a bar now? Where is this bar?
Negative punishment – Remove active reward. You’re making out on the couch. She makes comment “not tonight”. Give her the cold shoulder. Proceed to remove all affection, attention or “bf-like behaviors”.
Then march off to your room, shouting “you’re not the boss of me! I wish I never was born!” Slam the door and sulk.
Who knew being an ALPHA was so much like being an emo teen?
Happily, TRPsubmitter got a lot of positive reinforcement for his post. Good alpha dog! ComplainyGuy — apparently speaking for many, given the several dozen upvotes he got — wrote enthusiastically:
THIS is a fucking great example of how we should be talking about women.
Bad: “Women have no value to anybody ever. Totally glad her mum died fuck bitches. Pffft I wish we still had chains and whips” (I have seen all these comments on here in the last week)
good:”Women have natural predispositions too: Attention-seeking, curious, emotional, irrational, solipsistic, unable to constructively deal with stress/criticism, likes to blame others, etc”
The difference? The first is angsty, immature males who bring down the quality of this subreddit.
The second is a man observing, from a mature, Self-confident, perspective, the real nature of gender dynamics.
Wow. So treating women like dogs is apparently a big step up for the Red Pillers.
(Thanks to mrsamsa in the Blue Pill subreddit for pointing me to this wondrous Red Pill fuckery.)
What is more solipsistic than being unable/unwilling to understand or accept that sometimes your partner might not want to have sex right at that moment?
“Positive punishment – Provide active punishment. Tell her to GTFO or smoothly tell her that she can “rest a bit while I get some stuff done”, then leave her sitting on the bed alone.”
Uh…how is that necessarily punishment? I mean, if “get stuff done” means he’s going to take care of stuff and leave her alone regarding sexual matters, isn’t that! you know! one of the options for “things he should do once told no”?
Also, David, it’s out there, not crazy, please?
Take it away, Encyclopedia Britannica!
I wouldn’t trust these assholes to train a dog properly.
I do love it when they show exactly how their tiny minds work, though.
Here it is everyone: plate theory! (it’s serious because it’s a theory)
http://therationalmale.com/2011/08/19/plate-theory-2/
Awhile back I wrote a bit of a joke piece comparing a Return of Kings’ article about women to dog training…how messed up is it when the satire is just about as extreme as the actual shit these people think! http://radicalcentristblog.wordpress.com/2013/08/12/8-signs-shes-a-keeper/
Women are people. WOMEN ARE PEOPLE…now if only there were a way to force this bit of knowledge into their brains…
@Maude LL: I thought standard gender essentialist nonsense says that women are better at multitasking…
TRPsubmitter’s whole post seems like a fine illustration of solipsistic thinking. Women aren’t complex, thinking human beings to him. They’re non-human animals that can (and should) be easily trained to fulfill his needs, and nothing more.
What’s with the “women as dogs” metaphor, anyway? They really seem to like it. And seem to see absolutely no problem with comparing human beings to animals.
They’re a bit late to the party. There was a famous NY Times article about humans using operant conditioning on one another:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
We reinforce each other’s behaviours all the time, though we do it relatively unconsciously. Here’s the thing. To make it work in a positive way, you have to understand how creatures ACTUALLY function, as opposed to how it suits you to believe they function. As any animal trainer will tell you, you can work with the animal and watch the animal flourish to your mutual benefit, or you can abuse the animal and crush it. Humans are the same, more or less.
Fortunately, we have the ability to spot abuse in progress and go “fuck you, moron” on our way out the door.
bodycrimes: I bet they hear that exit line a lot. Or alot.
I’m looking forward to the PUA theory on the mimicking the alpha turtle to pick up more plates.
I wonder if they learned from the PUA master?
http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2011/12/newt-gingrich-holding-animals.html
Ohhhh, PLATE theory! As in, you’re just another spinning plate to me… I keep lots of women hanging.
Welp, that clears that right up.
@auggziliary – it’s the amusing lack of irony that keeps me coming back for more. My favourite finds are posts/comments where the person is going on about how women are solipsistic and that’s why she won’t EVEN TRY to get inside his head and see the world from his perspective the he wants her to.
There’s absolutely no sense that there might be any acceptable outcome to a human interaction other than “I get exactly what I want without doing anything for you.”
…Are these guys House Republicans?
I really like “curious” in there. How amazing that this guy just obliviously reveals that he thinks curiosity is a bad thing.
I am trying very hard not to read “girlfriend/plate/FWB” as “negro.”
I am failing.
That’s disturbing reading.
Yesterday’s Strange Word Usage of the Day was “canard.” I think today’s is “substrate.”
If all women were naturally submissive and obedient then it wouldn’t be necessary to train them to display those qualities.
(Yes, I realize that this is like attempting to reason with a deck chair.)
What does FWB stand for?
Friend With Benefits.
I’m more worried about how these guys expect to train crockery.
This has been done before, as a comedy: “If a Man Answers.” Sandra Dee tries to train Bobby Darrin to be a good husband by following the advice in a dog-training book. He finds out, tables are turned, and hilarity ensues.
cassandrakitty: Well, it used to be that way, then eeeevil feminists came along and somehow managed to get all women everywhere to go against their totally natural nature. Now the poor men have to completely retrain women, one by one, if men ever want to get any.
Uh… If I want a dog, I WILL GET A DOG. (I’m a cat person, so not happening).
Also “plate”… that’s a new one.
So I’m adding “plate” to my list of weird words that now cause me to give people the side-eye.
Is that like talking to a dining room table?
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/247151/august-19-2009/barney-frank-refuses-to-talk-to-a-dining-room-table
(For those who can’t watch: Barney Frank told someone that talking to them would be like talking to a dining room table, so Stephen Colbert talks to some pieces of furniture.)