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a voice for men a woman is always to blame antifeminism are these guys 12 years old? artistry attention seeking creepy evil single moms evil women men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA paul elam shaming tactics taking pleasure in women's pain that's not funny!

At A Voice for Men, dead baby jokes are a form of “men’s human rights activism.”

Just because it's you baby doesn't mean it's your trash. Don't be that girl.
Men’s Rights “humor” at its finest.

The self-described ‘Men’s Human Rights Activists” at A Voice for Men have shown time and time again that they have approximately zero interest in actually promoting human rights, but would rather devote their time (and the more than $100,000 the site collects in donations annually) to attacking feminists and women in general.

The latest bit of evidence? The “meme” above, designed not to actually raise awareness of child abandonment but as a sort of “gotcha” aimed at one of their favorite targets, the “Don’t Be That Guy” anti-rape campaign that has been credited with significantly bringing down the incidence of rape in at least one major Canadian city.

AVFM’s Paul Elam introduces the “meme” with this little bit of vitriol:

For those unfortunates who did not get the memo that the Don’t be That Guy meme campaign was offensive because it painted all men as potential rapists, then perhaps this meme will drive that point home. Remember, Don’t be That Hypocrite.

If we pretend for a moment that AVFM’s meme is intended to address a real social problem — child abandonment — do Elam’s claims of hypocrisy make any sense?

Rape is widespread; roughly 1 in 5 women are sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. Men (outside of jail) also face the risk of rape, mostly from other men, though the numbers are much lower; the “Don’t Be That Guy” campaign addressed that issue as well. (Incarcerated men  — and women — face a much higher risk of rape, at least in the United States, where prison rape is treated as a joke; LGBT prisoners are disproportionately targeted.) Most rape victims know their attackers, making the “date rape” focus of the awareness campaign doubly appropriate. RAINN reports that there are more than 200,000 victims of sexual assault in the US every year.

While the number of rapes is obviously higher than the number of rapists, there’s still a tremendous number of rapists in the general population — and a lot of people who witness rapey behavior, and who might be inspired by the “Don’t Be That Guy” campaign to step up and step in to stop it.

Child abandonment, while horrific, is not widespread. While solid data on the actual number of babies abandoned is scanty, the numbers reported tend to be in the hundreds, not the hundreds of thousands, per year. One 2011 story in the New York Times, for example, noted that 63 babies were abandoned illegally in Illinois over the previous ten years. One article I found on the Columbia Journalism School website cited “an unpublished 1999 report by the Department of Health and Human Services [that] found that 108 infants were abandoned in 1998 out of 4 million births.”

In any case, anyone who was truly interested in reducing the numbers of babies illegally abandoned, quite possibly leading to their deaths, would have provided information about “safe haven” laws (which exist in all 50 states in the US) that allow parents to legally give up their babies while ensuring that they will be cared for.

Rape is a crime of entitlement; child abandonment is a crime of desperation. Providing young mothers who are feeling overwhelmed to the point of panic about an alternative to dumping their baby illegally seems a somewhat more sensible approach than shaming them. AVFM’s meme graphic of course provides no such information.

That’s no surprise. As Elam’s intro makes clear, he and his fellow “Human Rights Activists” don’t actually give a shit about abandoned babies. The comments about this new meme are, well, instructive in this regard. For most of the commenters, it seems, this dead baby joke of a graphic is a most hilarious form of human rights activism.

Some selections from the comments:

baby1baby2baby3baby4

And apparently only the thought of me “twisting” their words kept some of them from making even more blatant dead baby jokes.

baby5

Truly the most important Human Rights Movement of the 21st Century.

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Wetherby
Wetherby
7 years ago

Although they are demonstrably being petty, so you’re not technically wrong.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

So….Regarding Man Boobz: The Magazining or whatever we’re calling it. I just found hosting to use .org for all of $3 a month for 2 years if prepaid, free domain registration, $14 for whois privacy and spam/malware protection and auto-backups. I’ve wanted server space to toy with PHP since my bestfriend took his server offline…I’m tempted to register whether y’all are interested or not. (And, being me, I know how to run a hidden sandbox off the main Magazining site without borking anything, so me having test space and running our little project can both work)

This is a sweet enough deal that I already asked my mother if it’d be a viable Christmas present, and it is. So if y’all are interested, let’s do this?

I’m going to go start a forum thread on this I think!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago
Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

Argenti – damn it, now I need a forum account. 😛

SittieKitty
7 years ago

Hm… ok, so re: dead baby jokes… 1/5 pregnancies are miscarried, most of them are after you’ve found out about it, but not always. So, assuming that’s something included, they aren’t that rare. Alternatively, people who are not my generation likely know someone or are someone who lost a child – obstetrics and paediatrics have come a long way in 50 years. It’s something to think about with those types of jokes.

Same with holocaust. Likely someone you know knows someone affected by it. It’s not that far into the past…

And with the realistic portrayal of living spaces on TV, I think QI was the place that said British people live in the smallest square footage for the largest amount of money in the world? That could be a part of it, since people aren’t used to seeing huge houses amongst peers regardless of class/wealth, so it could be that, because the UK is so small, and North America is so big (and hopeless with loans for houses) that it’s just a cultural expectation thing? People can get larger houses in places where there is more land mass to build them. I don’t think NYC qualifies, obviously, but NYC is more a cultural icon to put your story in, than an actual city where people are trying to live, in TV-Land.

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

>>>Although they are demonstrably being petty, so you’re not technically wrong

Well yeah, in the case of Julie Bindel and the trans* exclusionary feminist (not sure if rad) she was defending, “petty bourgeois” does fit.

However, as it’s often used as a term of oppobrium against anarchists by Orthodox Marxists, I kind of have an instinctive dislike for that sloppy usage when used in general to refer to academics (in particular since it’s a particularly rich irony when Orthodox Marxists accuse anarchists of being a bunch of academics).

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: money in media

I’ve discovered that since my housing/finances went down the drain, a LOT of what breaks my suspension of disbelief in media is, “How do they PAY for all this?” I mean, I made the equivalent of a full-time, minimum wage job, and I could still only comfortably afford the cheapest rooms in town. To have even a studio was completely laughable.

I really wish I saw more of what I actually experience–you know, the state that my volunteer gig referred to as “three meals away from a felony.” You know, juggling basic needs like housing, food, and medical care, and only being able to afford two of the three at best… and then you get hit by a car. How everything is only kept going through a lot of cut corners and jury-rigging and prayer that your house of cards won’t topple.

And shit, y’all, I could write a fucking SERIES about living in weird housing/roommate situations. After living in a closet, that one place where I got surprised by strangers in the dark TWICE, and the one where all my power came from an extension cord through a hole cut in the wall, I am SET.

RE: auggziliary

Never Google ‘yaoi paddle,’ that’s all I’m saying. Also, people make HOLOCAUST JOKES? D8 That’s terrible! I’ve got friends whose relatives DIED in that! Why on earth would people joke about that?

katz
7 years ago

I get pretty skeeved by Holocaust jokes and dead baby jokes, but the crucial difference is that nobody thinks dead babies and the Holocaust are Good Things (or not as bad as everyone makes them out to be, or what have you), so you’re not contributing to a culture that doesn’t care about them.

Brooked
Brooked
7 years ago

@BlackBloc

Yeah I noticed that during the Julie Bindel + other apparently well-known feminist in the UK’s transphobia affair. They were trying to claim that they were solid working class, unlike all the Tumbler/Twitter “bullies” who were just academics (even though I know some of them are WoC and/or working class). Dude, if you’re doing talks and writing articles for a living, you’re petty bourgeois at the least. I don’t care where you were born.

Hey man, it’s not transpobia, they’re just keeping it real. Put down your fancy academic texts and jump on the people’s dehumanizing stock prejudices-fueled hate train.
…that’s a pretty ugly argument.

Wow, I didn’t even notice the “gRAPE” part of Tentacle Grape soda until I read the post where Katz painfully spells it out. In my defense I immediately tune out after someone uses the words ‘anime’ and ‘tentacles’ together. That’s a fucking terrible way to make something a novelty item, just to state the obvious.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Alice — email me and I’ll post it with an “Alice says:”?

This nym, gmail.com

katz
7 years ago

In my defense I immediately tune out after someone uses the words ‘anime’ and ‘tentacles’ together.

That’s a good instinct. (Meanwhile, I automatically lose interest because it’s grape-flavored soda. Ugh.)

katz
7 years ago

Bostonian: That’s a really good quote, but what’s the deal with the rest of that post? I mean, wtf is this about?

So BioShock Infinite is not a compelling first-person shooter. Then again, few first-person shooters are. Once I admit this ‘bias’ – that I think the FPS is one of the most limited, least interesting genres – I’ve marked myself as someone unqualified to give a fair review.

Online, we often say a game is ‘not my thing’ if we dislike it or just aren’t interested but want to be nice to all those people for whom it is, presumably, their thing. (See also the demographic cop-out: I’m not the target audience.) It works as a courtesy, as a basic acknowledgement that other people with different tastes exist. But it’s also shallow, a way of not engaging. It forecloses conversations about the ‘thing’ itself before they can even begin.

We’ve internalized the logic of ‘not my thing’ in our reviews as well. We assume that genre preferences are all about taste. Thus, you should at least halfway enjoy platformers, or JRPGs, or racing games to give them a fair shake in a review. To make sure you ‘get’ them, their particular pleasures. To keep your criticisms in check, not prone to personal ‘bias’.

We assume that disliking particular genre elements disqualifies a reviewer, but not the opposite: that being predisposed to liking a genre, being a fan, might be the problem. That it might also predispose a reviewer to a fan’s conservatism, a fan’s indulgence, a fan’s myopia and pedantry. Fans excel at celebration, but criticism? No, fandom seeks to insulate itself from criticism. And yet videogame reviewers are, by and large, avowed videogame fans.

‘Not my thing’ is really gatekeeping dressed up as broadmindedness. It’s the preemptive agree-to-disagree that keeps conversations pleasantly limp and premises unexamined. It erects a neighborly fence so that thoughtful outsiders don’t accidentally wander in. It says: I’m treading lightly; you do the same. And if this all sounds like a weird club run by the faithful, by thin-skinned boys, well that’s because it is.

SittieKitty
7 years ago

katz, here, I can break it down!

A = B
C = B
Therefore A = C

See also:

God is good
Grapes are good
Therefore God is a grape.

Total Logicked.

Ally S
7 years ago

I get pretty skeeved by Holocaust jokes and dead baby jokes, but the crucial difference is that nobody thinks dead babies and the Holocaust are Good Things (or not as bad as everyone makes them out to be, or what have you), so you’re not contributing to a culture that doesn’t care about them.

I think you’re right about dead baby jokes not contributing to a culture that condones infanticide, but Holocaust jokes are a bit different in my view. While of course the Holocaust has been widely condemned, there are surprisingly and unfortunately a large number of conservative religious folks who at the very least blame the Jews for the Holocaust. I’ve even heard some ultraconservative Muslims say that the Holocaust was justified.

Plus, I think Holocaust jokes are a form of microaggression against Jews given that they trivialize a tragedy that happened to their fellow Jews. It’s kind of like how in the US, even though the enslavement of black people is openly condemned, racist jokes about white people enslaving black people still serve to promote anti-black racism. Those jokes also trivialize a legacy of racist abuse that affected countless black people.

That’s my take, at least. Any possible incoherent rambling is solely a result of being under the influence.

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

@katz: It’s basically an argument that some genres are terrible in and of themselves, as genres, due to the fact that the genre itself is predicated upon certain mechanics that are terrible. I’m a bit sympathetic to it after years of being a RPG fan before realizing that everything I revile about Zynga games is basically just what would be called “game play” in an RPG, while people were decrying some very real attempts at going beyond some of the terrible legacy choices we’ve made under the guise of “keeping to genre” in Dragon Age 2 (which had its own problems, but the problems of that game were not the thing people complained the most about).

I think it easily veers into the sort of snobbishness that has been thrown at genre fiction in literature, though, and I’m not surprised that the author is pointing the finger at FPS as a genre rather than one of the “game as art” favored children.

freemage
freemage
7 years ago

Ally: I think you’re correct, especially in regards Holocaust jokes being microaggressions. Frankly, unless someone is Jewish–and not just in the very broad sense of being able to connect matrilinearly, despite having been raised a Lutheran or whatever, but rather identifies, culturally at least as Jewish–they should just avoid the subject as a humor topic. (Oppressed people get a bit more of a pass in terms of gallows humor, for obvious reasons.)

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

Hey man, it’s not transpobia, they’re just keeping it real. Put down your fancy academic texts and jump on the people’s dehumanizing stock prejudices-fueled hate train.
…that’s a pretty ugly argument.

I’m always skeeved out by upper class liberals who assign prejudice (racism, misogyny, etc) to the working class exclusively. (The old “racism is just something that a bunch of Southern rednecks do, here in we’re living in a post-racial society”.)

I’m doubly skeeved when they do it in order to excuse their own prejudices in order to give themselves working class bona fide.

katz
7 years ago

It’s basically an argument that some genres are terrible in and of themselves, as genres, due to the fact that the genre itself is predicated upon certain mechanics that are terrible.

Obviously that’s what he’s going for, but (setting aside his inability to communicate by just saying that if that’s what he meant) if he honestly thinks FPSes are inherently all terrible, then he shouldn’t have been reviewing Bioshock Infinite at all. A post about FPSes in general and his opinions on them, certainly, but once he’s done that, his review of any particular FPS will by definition not have anything interesting to say.

That’s the real reason that you shouldn’t review things in a genre you don’t like: Not that you aren’t entitled to your opinion, but simply that saying “I hate all X; this is X; I hated it” is not useful information for any possible reader.

I’m also leery in general of people who go around trying to convince other people to hate all kinds of stuff.

neuroticbeagle
7 years ago

I get pretty skeeved by Holocaust jokes and dead baby jokes, but the crucial difference is that nobody thinks dead babies and the Holocaust are Good Things (or not as bad as everyone makes them out to be, or what have you), so you’re not contributing to a culture that doesn’t care about them.

I disagree about the Holocaust jokes. There are neo Nazi groups that believe death of all those who are different would be a good thing. This assumes that they even believe the Holocaust took place. Some people argue that the Holocaust was a Jewish conspiracy* and millions of Jews decided to commit suicide in the 1930s-40s. One could argue that these are extreme groups/people, but one could say the same about the MRAs.

*never mind that many who died weren’t Jewish

Falconer
7 years ago

Tangential to the Holocaust joke conversation, I know of someone who went on a date recently.

The date was fine but the other party made at least one crack about Germans. When called out by this person (Wait a minute, I’m German!), the other party’s response was, “I’m Jewish.”

Seemed like a big jerkass move to me, to make a mean joke and then hide behind PEOPLE YOU SHARE A HERITAGE WITH DID AWFUL THINGS TO PEOPLE I SHARE A HERITAGE WITH.

Am I wrong?

katz
7 years ago

Ally and neuroticbeagle: True, you are right about the Holocaust jokes.

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

Argenti – Sure. Remind me to do it tonight, I need to do math homework (fuck maths).

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Jumping back to the topic of class and class in media…

It seems really popular among liberals (and now I’m using the word in the Swedish sense, meaning someone who’s okay with a little bit of welfare state but it must absolutely not grow too large because we need to keep taxes low and free market is wonderful and yada yada) to talk about class as if it’s all about culture. Like, the difference between a working class and upper middle class or upper class person is that the latter unlike the former go to the opera and knows how to use different forks for different dishes at fancy restaurants. And that really bugs me. I’ve never been to the opera in my life, and I always take the wrong fork whenever I happen to end up at a fancy restaurant. I have no problem explaining that with me coming from a working class background, but I would never say that I am working class.
My parents worked their way up from working class to upper middle, meaning they went from a strained financial situation to being able to afford everything they want and being very secure work-wise. Their life really changed. They still don’t know anything about opera and forks, but that’s really inconsequential! I get that some people may feel it’s embarrassing not knowing about forks or opera (I don’t), and that sucks for them, but that problem is nothing compared to the problems that face people because they have actual working class jobs and actual working class incomes.

I think liberals like to pretend that it’s all about forks and opera because they want to pretend that real class-related problems don’t exist. That not knowing various operas or which fork to grab first is the very worst problem a working-class person ever faces because of their class.

ANYWAY, my guess is that lots of people in the movie and TV industry are liberals. Therefore they think class differences are merely cultural differences. Therefore they portray working class people as having different clothes and listening to different music and so on than upper class people, but shy away from the fact that working class people can’t afford things.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Idk Alice, I mean, you hate my beloved maths! (I’m kidding)

Dvärghundspossen — and then there’s me, only not homeless cuz I moved back in with my parents, but I know you start with the silverware on the outside and work your way in (fuck if I know operas though!)

My checking account balance is far more pressing than operas or forks.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Argenti, check your privilege! Complaining about MONEY! Look at ME! I may have received a research grant for the next two years, but I mix up the forks ALL THE TIME! Seriously, there are people in the world with REAL problems you know!

moldybrehd
7 years ago

I had a minor epiphany reading the comments & wanted to share. Totally off-topic.

I’ve never really understood why the MRAs always mention SitC, when it rarely has anything relevant to their POVs, until someone mentioned soap operas here.

When you look at the ‘talking points’ of most MRAs, it’s not in SitC that you’ll find ‘examples’ to prove their points, but you do find them in soap operas (specifically american anglo soaps).

Soap opera trope staples:

Women as golddiggers – yup
Women who make false accusations of rape – yup
Women who take advantage of drunk/unconscious/non-consenting men – yup
Women who judge themselves & others based on appearance – yup

I could keep going, but I really don’t want to. My point is, *this* is what MRAs seem to see as reality. Soap operas.

And since actually admitting that their views on women eerily parrallel the over-the-top silliness of soaps, they probably scream ‘Sex in the City’! to make it seem more legit.

‘Kay, back to lurking.

cloudiah
7 years ago

I’m also leery in general of people who go around trying to convince other people to hate all kinds of stuff.

My sister was just visiting, and I told her I’d been reading (manboobzer-recommended) scifi+ lately, and she spent way too much time explaining how reading that kind of stuff was beneath her (and by implication, beneath me). She’s not a terrible person by any means, but it did piss me off a bit. She always has had snobbish tendencies, though.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

@Moldy: Also, “women have useless fluff jobs” – in loads of TV series people don’t really do anything on their job other than gossiping and scheming.

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@matt

Oh my Gorilla Grod, now my comment is in moderation, but other people are continuing the conversation. Will my post look out of place or be misinterpreted when it appears? WILL it appear?! What should I do? I’m thinking I’ll panic. Sound good?

Why yes, my social anxiety actually does extend to and, in fact, intensify when I try to discuss things on the web, thanks for asking!

Is it your first comment? Because everyone starts in moderation. It will appear where you typed it, people will just have to roll back to see it, so don’t worry 🙂

Ps: love your use of ‘oh my gorilla grod’ :3 maybe I’m just weird that way.

@ophelia

Hugs, if you want them.

@cassandrasays

The idea that flaws = relatable also feels sexist to me. It’s just too close to the romcom idea that if you want a female audience to like a character you have to let them see her being humbled in some way, as if we’re automatically going to dislike any female character who seems too confident or competent.

All the seconding! I’ve also got some weird feelings about the way female characters emote in fiction, like idk. But especially when I was younger, I felt like I couldn’t connect to them because often female characters aren’t very angry (or at least angry in a way that resonated with me) and I was a very angry teenager.

Also somewhat OT but since we’re talking about TV – I would be very happy never to see another show with a laugh track again. If you need to tell the audience where to laugh then your jokes aren’t funny.

Ditto. I know I was watching a show with a laugh track recently and couldn’t stand it, but I don’t remember the show…

(Sorry for the comment on old stuff. Does it seem like I’m butting in? Idk I just feel that way :/)

daintydougal
daintydougal
7 years ago

@ SittieKitty

*Ok, I have David Attenborough on in another window and he just said ‘the puppy, on the other hand, is very active*

Cough. @Sittiekitty, I also have always imagined the space and price of land in the US makes the (seemingly) ginormous houses you see on American tv more of a possibility. I’ve only ever been to NY but I know thats an outlier. Isn’t there even parts of Alaska that don’t even have housing regulations? (Yes I’m aware my grammar is terrible.)

The holocaust/dead baby delightful conversation – In my experience there is much more side eye, awkwardness, calling out with holocaust jokes, whereas a dead baby joke is generally met with a groan, eye roll. But then I suppose it’s only mra’s that would associate a dead baby joke with ‘womens r rubbish’ whereas everyone knows holocaust jokes can be very hurtful to Jewish people/people with general empathy.

katz
7 years ago

Now I want a TV show that’s about two roomies sharing an apartment and their rent gets raised so they need to get a third roommate. Every episode, a new weird person responds to their ad and somehow ends up getting kicked out or having to leave by the end of the episode.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
7 years ago

Sadly, I must remind you that there are congresscritters in the US who are absolutely in favor of killing what they call “terrorist babies”.
They are, of course, opposed to abortion for any reason.

daintydougal
daintydougal
7 years ago

@Katz

I could totally contribute to that show. How about the potential roomate who flirts with your partner pretending you’re not even there, even though you’re the one who put the ad up and has been corresponding with them all along?
Or how about the one who has a massive nosebleed and unashamedly bleeds over all your stuff?

katz
7 years ago

The klepto who starts out by taking little things nobody notices and by the end is just sitting around wearing your clothes. The one who’s always playing loud music and inviting people over at night and then sleeps during the day and complains if you make the slightest noise. The one with no personal hygiene. Endless possibilities!

daintydougal
daintydougal
7 years ago

That’s not to say that I was flirting or that there’s anything wrong with nosebleeds. Literally ignoring someone to the point of turning your back while that person is showing you around their home is fairly uncool.
As is dripping blood on my stuff. I showed you where the bathroom was so you could sort yourself out, not so you could ruin several rolls of toilet roll then wander about the flat.

daintydougal
daintydougal
7 years ago

Even better, the couple who stay out all night, then come home to listen to samba music at 4am only to have their horrible (I don’t know why girlfriend left me, I never even beat her!) friend sleep on the sofa all day and complain about any disruption.
If anyone wishes to buy me a place feel free!

Robert
Robert
7 years ago

There’s an old meme about how Americans never think of themselves as ‘poor’, but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires. Poverty is a sign of moral weakness, after all. Note: not endorsing this. Cracked had a decent article a while back by John Cheese about how growing up poor in America fucks up your head, to the extent that if you do escape the trap of poverty you don’t really know how to live like someone who grew up with financial stability. Extreme example being the lottery winner who’s broke within a year. I’m guessing a middle class person who wins the lottery is more likely to pay off the mortgage and invest in mutual funds than buy new cars for all of hir friends. As for working one’s way out of poverty – heh, I’m dating myself there, aren’t I?

One under examined factor could be the constant corrosive effect of the wider society’s message to those who cannot ignore the fact of their own poverty. To be told that life is a competition based on ability that you have already lost – well, that’s gotta leave a mark.

katz
7 years ago

I only ever had one bad suitemate, but you could get several episodes out of her:

-Made coffee once in someone else’s coffee maker. Left it until it got moldy. Then threw away the coffee maker.
-Had an alarm loud enough to be heard all over the suite that would go for a full hour before shutting itself off. Left it on in her locked room while she was gone on vacation.
-Had friends over who nobody else knew. Decided it would be funny to lock one of the boys in the bathroom while one of her female suitemates was showering.
-Didn’t like one of the other suitemates’ boyfriends. Tried to disrupt them any time she thought they might be having sex.

moldybrehd
7 years ago

Also, “women have useless fluff jobs” – in loads of TV series people don’t really do anything on their job other than gossiping and scheming.

I tend the find that the only people who have ‘real’ jobs on tv shows are the police characters. It’s like, everyone wants the fantasy of no-effort careers, but we also want to be reassured that our police people are really doing their jobs.

katz
7 years ago

And there would DEFINITELY be an episode about thermostat wars. Everyone’s had a thermostat war, right?

daintydougal
daintydougal
7 years ago

It’s the American dream isn’t it? Oh, except capitalist societies only work if there’s plenty of un/underemployment, so in actual fact there can only be people at the top if there are lots and lots at the bottom, so there’s literally no possible way of everyone being at the top, or even apparently having enough to eat in the richest countries in the world. Yay choice!

moldybrehd
7 years ago

Idea for roommate show:

Roommate who sneaks in feral kittens, & they proceed to pee on everything black (the kitties, not the roomie).

daintydougal
daintydougal
7 years ago

Hmm, I have put other people mouldy stuff outside. I have kicked doors in when there have been alarms/ceaseless noise, I have taken thermostat dials off walls/messed with the electrics to stop people rinsing it.

Perhaps I’m the bad housemate after all!

moldybrehd
7 years ago

Re: the whole ‘knowing which fork to use’ thing – who do they think set the table???

katz
7 years ago

Cracked had a decent article a while back by John Cheese about how growing up poor in America fucks up your head, to the extent that if you do escape the trap of poverty you don’t really know how to live like someone who grew up with financial stability. Extreme example being the lottery winner who’s broke within a year.

When I’ve heard this sort of argument, it’s always been for the purpose of proving that people who are poor deserve to be poor because they just don’t know how to manage money and so no matter how much money they get, they’ll always end up poor in the end.

The obnoxious flip side is the idea that rich people are rich because they’re so damn good at managing money and so the kids of millionaires become millionaires because their parents taught them to manage money, not because of trust funds and nepotism, and if millionaires suddenly lost all their money they’d be better at being poor than all those stupid poor people and they’d gain it back because of their amazing money-management skills.

(I’m not a fan, obviously.)

daintydougal
daintydougal
7 years ago

I read that John Cheese article and thought it was quite refreshing. There are people who will twist it to be ‘poor people r stoopid’ but I don’t think that was the intention at all.

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@katz

-Made coffee once in someone else’s coffee maker. Left it until it got moldy. Then threw away the coffee maker.

bleeeehhhh. How long does coffee need to take to get moldy, anyway?

And there would DEFINITELY be an episode about thermostat wars. Everyone’s had a thermostat war, right?

With my mom, all the time XD Usually she wins, because she’s paying the bills, but when we had a really tiny apartment with low heating bills I had it warmed enough to wear tanktops in the winter.

daintydougal
daintydougal
7 years ago

A lot of it was about the mindset of constant fear and worry you develop when you have to struggle. Which is something that isn’t often talked about (that I’ve seen anyway).

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“bleeeehhhh. How long does coffee need to take to get moldy, anyway?”

At least four days (yeah I have managed to avoid it for that long, I was kinda, uh, [TW: suicide] in no state to do anything after attempting to overdose.

But longer than a weekend, and I’ve never seen coffee itself grow mold, just the grounds.

My worst? Left his crockpot hidden in a corner long enough it had maggots. If I never bleach the sink because it’ skull it’s full of maggots again…*shudders*

kittehserf
7 years ago

auggz – it wasn’t the lack of the word “joke” I meant as a typo, it was the implication that anyone making jokes about the fucking HOLOCAUST is doing something minor and just in the realms of bad taste. That is every bit as horrific as rape jokes.

And yeah, what SittieKitty said about dead baby jokes. SIDS is a thing. Miscarriage is a thing. I don’t react as viscerally to those but hello, they’re all fucking abhorrent.