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alpha males antifeminism cuckolding evil women feminist dudes I am making a joke kitties men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA reddit the feminist utopia

Men’s Rights Redditor: When the feminist utopia comes, male feminists “will possibly [be] used for breeding and then fed to sharks.”

At least let me be eaten by oe of these.
At least let me be eaten by one of these.

Today I learned something from the Men’s Rights subreddit that’s, honestly, a little disturbing. In a topic with the title David Futrelle seriously needs help, I found the following exchange:

EvilPundit 7 points 2 days ago* (10|3)  Like Hugo Schwyzer, Futrelle is exploiting his position as the feminists' "trusty". He's a man who can be counted on to dish up dirt against other men, so he gets quoted by feminist media, invited to parties with the right people, and so on.  He probably thinks they're his friends, but wait until he steps just one millimetre out of line ...      permalink     source     save     give gold     hide child comments  [–]Alisdair_ 0 points 2 days ago (8|8)  I think it foreshadows what will happen if feminists get their way with the human race. When feminist utopia comes and men are living in slums outside of the city walls the men who just pillage and slaughter other men will be lauded and taken in to be treated very warmly, possibly used for breeding and then fed to sharks. Some even outright say these things, but you see most of their actions foreshadow the same kinds of wishes.

Ulp! I just signed up for the parties and the breeding. I didn’t know about the sharks.

Elsewhere in the thread, Alisdair writes of me:

I get the feeling that this is just one of those guys, frequently held in high esteem with the feminists, who basically want every man out there cuckolded. With the alpha cock and all of that.

He’s pretty much nailed it. Here’s my to-do list for today.

  1. Write blog post
  2. Candy Crush (9 hours)
  3. Play fetch with cats (4 hours)
  4. Clean litter box
  5. Get every man cuckolded (with the alpha cock)
  6. Go to grocery store

One down, five to go!

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ScoPi
ScoPi
7 years ago

I wonder who “the right people” are in this context? The Illuminati? Jay Gatsby?

opheliamonarch
7 years ago

Okay ladies, that shark memo was top secret! We clearly have a mole.
If you own up now you can keep your eunuch slave. 😉

Willravel
Willravel
7 years ago

Your today list is apparently missing something.

7. Feed man-eating gyno-sharks the flesh of men no longer capable of supplying seed.

La Strega
7 years ago

Did you photoshop that picture? It’s perfect. Thanks for my first out-loud laugh of the morning. Now I’m on to my busy day of taking dogs to the vet, marking papers, cleaning the bathroom, and enslaving men…

bodycrimes
7 years ago

Damn! I’m with ophelia. Who was the douchenozzle who gave away the shark information? At least nobody’s told them where the tanks are. I hope.

So much for the sisterhood.

Scary Trees (@AaronMDellutri)

I get the feeling that this is just one of those guys, frequently held in high esteem with the feminists, who basically want every man out there cuckolded. With the alpha cock and all of that.

When MRA’s think about anything it seems to turn into really weird porn. When they think about physics, do all the particles have little pubes or something?

tedthefed
tedthefed
7 years ago

I’m trying to figure out the math of this “every man is cuckolded.” Given that most people are mostly straight, and there’s a relatively equal number of men and women, how can every man be cuckolded without a really high number of men cheating, too? Even the most promiscuous man has 24 hours in a day and is going to focus his attention on unmarried women, too.

I also like how the writer of that just assumes the reader knows what he’s talking about. Oh right! The alpha cock. Can’t pass sixth grade social studies without learning about that!

Maybe it’s simpler than that. Maybe he thinks feminists want women to cheat on their husbands with actual roosters?

The Arbourist
7 years ago

@Scary Trees

When MRA’s think about anything it seems to turn into really weird porn.

I imagine because much of their thinking is based on notes from their boner; and thus when the ‘peen is sadthe world must also be sad (and enpornulated).

SittieKitty
7 years ago

If you own up now you can keep your eunuch slave. 😉

Wait wait wait, no one told me that my slave was a eunuch! How am I supposed to spermjack, have hundreds of children the state will pay for, and eat bon bons now??

If I confess to the crime can I get a non-eunuch slave? Obviously if I have a non-fertile one then I’m first in line to lose my unpaid help to the greater cause of feeding the sharks…

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
7 years ago

Enpornulated!

I’m keeping that.

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

I laughed.

Also, fuck! You weren’t supposed to know about that! Or the fact that we’re breeding men to steal their sperm and make us bonbons!

Oh shit…

cloudiah
7 years ago

Alisdair_ is my favorite mister, though I’m secretly convinced he’s trolling r/mr. His back story is amazing. Sadly, his plans aren’t working out so well for him. But he keeps his spirits up by formulating interesting theories about women on Reddit.

Scary Trees (@AaronMDellutri)

@The Arbourist | October 27, 2013 at 11:17 am

I imagine because much of their thinking is based on notes from their boner; and thus when the ‘peen is sad the world must also be sad (and enpornulated).

Agreed, however, even in my driest periods my libido has never driven me so utterly nuts. And thank you for the word ‘enpornulated’, I believe I will use that one!

Lea Tapp
7 years ago

Sharks? That’s just silly. We can’t all live on the coast. Quite a few of us are landlocked. Can you imagine the shipping costs for sending our husbands, sons, friends and other allies to be fed to sharks? The costs of maintaining shark aquariums is prohibitive too. Surely we’ll render them down for scented candles and decorative soaps then grind the rest up to feed out kitties and tiny lapdogs instead. Remember wicked overladies, being evil is no excuse for being impractical.

opheliamonarch
7 years ago

@Sittiekittie

Wait wait wait, no one told me that my slave was a eunuch! How am I supposed to spermjack, have hundreds of children the state will pay for, and eat bon bons now??

You misunderstand, the eunuchs are there to make the money AND take care of the babies, in tight, tight shorts.

Any sexy time needs will be taken care of in your very own harem.

Oh yeah, in Misandria it’ll be bon bons all the way baby.

eseldbosustow
7 years ago

Just as long as I don’t lose my Girluminati pension I’m ok with this eunuch slave thing. Because I didn’t spend my whole life being a misandrist just to be left out in the cold in retirement…

Pieter B (@DragonCalf)

Is he saying that feminist men “pillage and slaughter other men”? If that’s a core belief over there, it’s a good thing I avoid Reddit.

pineapplecookies
pineapplecookies
7 years ago

I am glad they haven’t found out about the crocodiles and the giant bears.

damselindetech
7 years ago

Damn it! They’ve broken our code when we talk about our shark week! It was never about menstruation or the Discovery Channel and always about chumming teh menz! If only we could get some frickin lazer beams on their frickin heads, our plans for world domination would be complete.

Ally S
7 years ago

EvilPundit again? I see that commentator very frequently outside of Reddit. As usual, ze’s full of shit.

entropistanon
7 years ago

Feminists: Friends to sharks.

You know, I hate to admit this, but I actually didn’t really even know what “cuckold” meant, so I had to look it up and… THIS? THIS is what MRAs talk about constantly as this horrible disservice to them??? Raising children that aren’t their biological offspring? Yeah, because adoption doesn’t exist, nor do cultures that don’t really have any concept of fatherhood that aligns with “blood” relations. No it’s all about the genetics.

They dismiss the problems that feminists want to address, but then sit there and complain about and fear THIS… It’s like the sound of someone choking on a polished silver spoon!

Scary Trees (@AaronMDellutri)

Kittie Sharks are pretty good, but like @Lea Tapp pointed out they only work on the coasts. How about, instead, Medea-class UAV’s piloted from San Francisco, with “Gorgon Stare” cameras, Hellfire missiles re-titled Banshees, and flare/radar countermeasures for MANPADS?

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

But what about the sharks?! Surely a diet of bitterness and rage can’t be good for them!

Won’t someone think of the sharks?

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Convert your basement, if you have one, to an alligator den. (This is not pulled from my ass, my Pittsburgh fish guy had pics of said basement)

ceebarks
ceebarks
7 years ago

Well, of course I keep my “husband” (aka beta-male-slave) around for sexual gratification and homemade BBQ, since I am finished breeding now.

but I missed the email about turning him into shark food. Can someone explain why we are that interested in sharks?

… and does that mean I am going to have to make my own BBQ ribs now? 🙁

The Stepford Knife
The Stepford Knife
7 years ago

“He probably thinks they’re his friends, but wait until he steps just one millimetre out of line…”, er, like The Woolly Bumblebee thought Paul Elam and Co. were her friends?

ceebarks
ceebarks
7 years ago

Sharks? That’s just silly. We can’t all live on the coast. Quite a few of us are landlocked. Can you imagine the shipping costs for sending our husbands, sons, friends and other allies to be fed to sharks? The costs of maintaining shark aquariums is prohibitive too. Surely we’ll render them down for scented candles and decorative soaps then grind the rest up to feed out kitties and tiny lapdogs instead. Remember wicked overladies, being evil is no excuse for being impractical.

Ah, a voice of reason! Thank you Lea Tapp!

Love scented fucking candles.

Not as much as BBQ, but more than sharks.

hippodameia8527
hippodameia8527
7 years ago

Hey! Sharks get hungry too, you know.

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

As a librarian, Yahoo Answers is my worst nightmare. I shall now replace the thought with David’s cuckolding errand (with the alpha cock and all of that) and feel better.

drst
drst
7 years ago

Well, their intel is almost correct. We’re not going to feed the sperm donors to sharks, we’re going to use them as labor until we can make SharkPuppy real.

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

The picture at the top is both scary, and terribly amusing to me.

And idk, if I was David, I’d really resent the Schwyzer comparison. In fact, I’m not David* and I find it bothersome anyway. David is awesome, and Schwyzer is just…really not.

*If we take a break from reality and ignore the fact that we’re all David. And also cats.

@auggz

Sorry to tell you this David and all other men, but he was right. What, did you think this was about treating women like people? We just ran out of shark food.

We are truly devious.

@tedthefed

I also like how the writer of that just assumes the reader knows what he’s talking about. Oh right! The alpha cock. Can’t pass sixth grade social studies without learning about that!

Perhaps it’s just too early in the morning, but I’m really cracking up at the idea of the alpha cock. Not just a alpha cock, it’s the one and only Alpha Cock! Okay, this probably made no sense and I’ll shut up now.

@lea tapp

Sharks? That’s just silly. We can’t all live on the coast. Quite a few of us are landlocked. Can you imagine the shipping costs for sending our husbands, sons, friends and other allies to be fed to sharks? The costs of maintaining shark aquariums is prohibitive too. Surely we’ll render them down for scented candles and decorative soaps then grind the rest up to feed out kitties and tiny lapdogs instead. Remember wicked overladies, being evil is no excuse for being impractical.

Those of us not on the coast may have to substitute sharks for bears. Bears are cuter too.

I am glad they haven’t found out about the crocodiles and the giant bears.

Oh dang ninja’d by pineapplecookies XD And crocodiles is a much more sensible replacement. Cuter, too. (ok maybe I have a weird sense of cute. But crocodiles are adorbs. :3)

@auggz

A dude was seriously asking if women were going to murder all men now that they’ve realized they’re “useless and inferior”. His evidence was an internet article with the title “study finds women smarter than men”, referencing how women scored slightly higher on some intelligence test.

Well that’s just baffling, between the ‘useless people shall be murdered’ and the ‘scored slightly higher on one test, men now officially useless’. Or something. Idk can’t think right now. But my point is I am baffled.

@ceebarks

… and does that mean I am going to have to make my own BBQ ribs now? 🙁

Is that really a high price to pay for total misandry? XD

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@drst

And then every feminist will get their own shark puppy and the world will be much cuter than before :3

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

Agree w/ Marie. David being likened to Hugo Schwyzer is infuriating. It is mucho “intellectually dishonest” (I never thought I’d be able to use that phrase again after that one troll here threw it around at us about three million times).

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

Marie – but making BBQ beef is too hard! I have to go buy the beef, make a sauce, clean and oil the grill, and then cook it for a few hours!

extraterrestrial biological entity princess
extraterrestrial biological entity princess
7 years ago

The questions on the men’s rights subreddit about “doesn’t David have a job? how can he spend all his time on the internet?” could be asked, with much more reason, of them. Not that it’s anyone’s business wether David or anyone else has a job, lives off a trust fund, is a kept wo/man, or what, as long as nobody’s being abused or exploited.
The “feminist utopia with men outside the walls or pillaging” may be taken from a science fiction novel. I think there’s one by Tepper with that in it, there may be another. Uh, folks, science fiction isn’t real. There is no “feminist utopia” or starship Enterprise.

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@Alice

You have a point. BBQ beef is hard. And if we feed all men to the sharks, who will fix my computer! 😮 The only person I know with computer-fixing-skills is my brother, and if he’s gone I may have to find a professional and *gasp*…Pay!

ceebarks
ceebarks
7 years ago

Right?! I’ve never followed Hugo whats-his-face ’cause his articles kind of grated on my nerves– he just seemed smug and preachy about the most mundane stuff and tbh I have only the vaguest idea what the drama is with him; he got caught having an affair with a 20something after preaching marital fidelity, or something?

Ashley
7 years ago

How did they find out about the parties?

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

Marie – EXACTLY. Instead, we should castrate them!

We’ll keep a select few so that we can jack their sperm and use it to impregnate ourselves to make them pay child support 4EVAS, but everyone else shall be made into eunuchs.

And then we can feed the sharks with their severed penises. It’ll be a win-win!

Malitia
Malitia
7 years ago

SharkPuppy! awwwwwwwwwwwww! There are not enough “a”s and “w”s for SharkPuppy! :3

Radical Parrot
7 years ago

The projection, it burrrnnnnsssss!

Myoo
Myoo
7 years ago

@ceebarks
He confessed to trying to murder his ex-girlfriend, and his “apology” was far more about himself and him being a “better man”.
Also, there’s the fact he was having sex with his students. Just an all-around massive asshole, that guy.

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@Alice

Funniest. Idea. Ever XD

Myoo
Myoo
7 years ago

Oops, ninja’d by Argenti.

ceebarks
ceebarks
7 years ago

@Argenti and Myoo:

thanks! I am now relatively up to speed on the drama.

I now feel comfortable deeming Hugo a deluxe club shit sandwich.

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@Auggz

Wild speculating here, but maybe they think Hugo is a good example because he was a feminist dude* who got kicked out/ shunned** for very good reasons, but they like to ignore the reasons and use it as proof that men who try to please feminists are just going to get dumped the moment they make a tiny*** fuck up?

*according to himself
**I think? Or at least I hope.
***read: not tiny.

ceebarks
ceebarks
7 years ago

Though David strikes me as a supremely mellow dude, so yeah, no comparison there. Yikes.

MordsithJ
MordsithJ
7 years ago

@Maire
I think that’s giving them too much credit. They’re probably using Hugo as an example because he’s the only other male feminist they can think of.

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