The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of people.
Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.
It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.
Here’s what it gets right:
1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.
2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.
As Kelly notes:
Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …
Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.
Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:
According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.
It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.
In other words: Cool story, bro.
3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,
the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.
“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”
Indeed, Kelly writes:
It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.
But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.
1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.
2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.
3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?
I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.
4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!
Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!
Now if rotten OCD could be fooled into accepting it’s fifteen seconds, or fifteen minutes …
Seconding Argenti here! I wish I had something useful to suggest.
Okay, 3pm here, must dash! Hugs to all!
Oh gods I just saw the comment that caused you to start this topic and ARRRRRGGGGHHHH
I have no common sense or decency? This is news to me. I mean, I did sorta just moon my mother, but she started it with “you’re flashing me” (with my iPad screen, in the dark) so I had a “no, now I’m flashing you” retort.
Pretty sure that wasn’t the sort of decency I supposedly lack though…
Why do they always…ARGGHHH
Ophelia, the lack of sleep problem, seroquel is my wonder drug for that one, anti-psychotic technically, but at MUCH lower doses it works as a sleeping pill. And being the class it is, you should be able to ask about it without ringing the “drug seeker” alarm.
Oh and bipolar, PTSD, and generalized anxiety disorder here btw. Another one you may want to ask about, if you aren’t thinking “just shut up already Argenti”, is prazosin. Idk if you’ve seen me mention my anti-PTSD-nightmare drug, but that’s it. (Also off label with little risk of abuse so asking shouldn’t raise alarms)
Hugs back! For anyone who needs one. In fact, I’m once again dragging out the big barrel o’ hugs and non-contact comforting gestures, to be distributed by guinea pigs, kittens, or penguins wearing Spanx as you wish. I’m just going to leave it here in the center of the room.
Sorry, didn’t mean to make anyone feel like they had to help. I’m fucked, I accept it. Just have to drink so much I don’t notice. 🙂
After reading everything back so many times I realised. I swear A LOT!
Foul mouthed feminist that I am. 🙂
Must have learnt it from Mrs Doyle, ah feck…
http://youtu.be/ogrfAgbIfFo
@argenti, sorry not ignoring you, it’s just if I type a comment it takes me ages to read it so many times.
I have PTSD too, full on fucking hallucinations quite recently! Sorry if I’ve upset you by bringing this up.
I’m going to see a new psych in a couple of weeks who specialises in PTSD, it’s a new research program at the local Uni, but to be honest nothing seems to help.
TMI time, Regarding sleeping meds, I took a couple of boxes of them a while ago, so now they won’t prescribe.
So gin it is, god I hate gin! We’re boycotting vodka because of the homophobia thing, so bloody gin!
Incidentally, my keyboard is now not working on my iPad, and it just told me there’s a new update, bloody sodding iOS 7!
Stoli is not made in Russia, it’s made in Latvia.
Me, I hate tequila, and don’t do Southern Comfort, most gins, Cynar, or Ratzputz.
Stoli it is then. Thank you. 🙂
This. I’d much rather pay attention to the manboobzers than continue editing the crappy, horrible, no good piece of campaign pablum that I need to finish before I can go to bed.
And a firm second on low dose seroquel.
Meanwhile, bourbon is nice, and there are plenty of small batch artisanal versions out there so that you can support small craft makers (I’m a small artisanal crafter, so it matters to me!).
Maybe try this? You are getting sleeeeeepy. Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy…
@gillyrosebee, thank you, sorry, it took me a minute to stop blushing.
I’ve been lurking forever on Man Boobz and your posts always make me stop and listen.
I realise how hard it must be to write about this stuff, but I for one have learnt such a lot.
I’m having trouble putting things into words today so I’m gonna shut up now. Hope it makes sense.
Good luck with iOS 7, it hates me. And no worries, my hearing has me far more upset than you do (really, if anything, I’m trying to be helpful because otherwise I’m just going to be a twitchy mess…so you’re sorta helping or something?)
[Trigger Warning, suicide, in very clinical terms]
I just checked quick, and as I suspected my bottle of 25mg seroquel is WAY less than you could OD on. Like, max daily dose for schizophrenia is 800mg a day…not surprising it’d be impossible to OD on, maybe they were listening when I said I’d tried that last year… (obviously YMMV and whatnot) — but I could down my entire bottle on refill day and be under the daily max dose. Probably be unpleasant in the side effect department, but not fatal.
/TW
Like I said, it isn’t a sleeping pill. It’s an antipsychotic known for knocking people the fuck out at particularly low doses.
In any case, good luck with new-psych!
——
Booze…
Southern Comfort is triggery six ways to Sunday, being what I was barfing when obviously too drunk to consent
Rum is gross
Gin, particularly sole gin…only way I’m touching that is if I’m trying to kill myself
Whiskey, yes, please
Vodka, hand me the bottle
Brandy, idk? Never had it, or sherry, or tequila. I get the impression I’m not missing much on that last one.
Wine…depends the wine, the meal, etc, usually acceptable as a beverage, but a failure at getting drunk (given how much vodka I can drink, I’d probably have to finish a bottle in like two hours…tasty all the same)
Beer…ick. Yueng Ying Black and Tan is lovely though.
Ouzo…no. Licorice. No. Bad icky licorice.
Limoncello — despite don’t being too fond of lemon, yuuuummmm
Ooh, hadn’t refreshed before I posted that last one, so didn’t see your 11:46 comment gillyrosebee, actually never tried bourbon, hmmm.
Now it’s my turn to blush. I’m really happy if I can add a bit to the community. I enjoy reading the comments of my fellow cats/ferrets here inside this David suit, I love watching everyone set in on a new chew toy, and when things are at their worst, this is one of the few places that always helps me make it through. And things have been kinda horrible lately, so I can’t thank all of the other cats/ferrets enough for being so wonderful.
Belated hugs for Ophelia!
Also, maybe I should add a new category that will automaticalloy put someone on moderation: demanding proof of something addressed by social science even though you dismiss all social science data out of hand as unscientific.
Sorry things have been horrible for you, gillyrosebee. Hugs if you want ’em.
Could persistent and dogmatic mendacity be acceptable grounds for automatic moderation? Anyone can miss a point, or misunderstand a point, but metaphorically standing there with your hands over your ears, shouting “LALALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU”, a la ahostiledisneyworld is clear evidence of something…
Thanks cloudiah. I’m coming up on the anniversary of some pretty bad stuff, and this year I’m doing all the holidays by myself. Blagh.
Hugs for Ophelia, and gillyrosebee… and everyone, because I can. *goes mad with power*
Ophelia, if you really push through the English thing and lay it on really thick with the accepting compliments, it’s a lot easier… that’s how I soften my upper lip, anyway… then I freak out in my head that I’m coming off as arrogant and self absorbed, just like every time I use “I” in a sentence because, jeez, talking about myself again, how self obsessed can a guy be!?
I (AUGH) think we should do a science experiment between us. Is pyrokinesis a real phenomenon? Next time someone uses “crazy” to mean “bad” (and then refuses to apologise and correct zirself) we attempt to set them on fire with our minds. Whaddya think?
We’ll be here over the holidays with you, gillyrosebee, if you need us.
BTW, apparently now I run a cooking blog:
http://artistryforfeminismandkittens.wordpress.com/2013/10/23/man-boobz-recipe-hotline-pouding-chomeur/
Athywren – Set them on fire? Can’t we just focus on building the Boobinater so that we can whack someone with dead trout for being an asshole?
Sloe gin isn’t gin. It’s some weird infusion of sloes and everclear.
For me, tequila tastes like ass. Really good tequila tastes like refined ass.
As to bourbons… love them.
As to crafting, I have put 7 skeins of yarn in my carry on, with luck I will sell a couple; with which to buy more fiber to make more yarn… it’s twisty all the way down.
So sorry I made this all about me, everyone here is awesome.
I’ve tried so many types of pills, then read the ‘Bad Pharma’ book, so anti-depressants are right out for me.
But, as I have this appointment with my new psych (an hour and a half!) on the 13th, might ask them about the seroquel.
Seriously, I sleep three hours max before the nightmares wake me up, and then I start the bloody 15 obsession, then no more sleep!
@argenti, your hearing? Are you okay?
And thank you for checking the OD info, that really helps.
@cloudiah, you’re lovely, obviously. 🙂
@gillyrosebee, Really hope I haven’t made you feel worse by bringing this up, and I’m so sorry about the anniversary/holidays, lots of consensual hugs coming your way. x
@david Thanks. Also, can’t we ban people who for no apparent reason claim to be German when they are so obviously a pretentious Brit?
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
@Athywren, Christ I get so worried if I use ‘I’ too much! And when you’ve done what I’ve done in this thread and made it the all about me show, argh! Have you seen how many times I’ve written I and me here?
Must do penance, 15 fucking times! And if it doesn’t feel right? Back to the fucking start!
@alice, I vote for a fire breathing Boobinator!
“Could persistent and dogmatic mendacity be acceptable grounds for automatic moderation?”
In theory it already is. Tedious is on the list.
Pecunium — it’s fitting, you’re twisted all the way down (in fact, I think you just get more twisted he further down you go…I like it)
Sloe gin is suicide. In multiple ways in my case. But just what does refined ass taste like? Is that the ass of someone from old money?
Ophelia — my SSI hearing. Whether I’m nuts enough to be legally disabled. My fucking idiot fucking psychs probably screwed me and I’m a wreck, and this is the fucking US disability system, we aren’t exactly known for how great it is!
Gillyrosebee — more hugs for you, and I’ll try for pictures of my wee wittle fishies tomorrow so attempts at cute will be made!
Okay, my proof is edited and emailed back to the printer, which is good because the cats have been behaving worse and worse over the last hour. Cat anger consequences of the moment: Adora attempting to shred the carpet because I am still at my desk instead of under the blankets making a cave for her to snuggle into. I’m gonna go fix that right now.
Ophelia, may you have a deep and satisfying sleep with no nightmares.
Hugs to everyone: may tomorrow be better, or at least bearable!