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The Daily Beast takes on the Men’s Rights movement — and takes down A Voice for Men’s John Hembling

John Hembling, possibly lying about something
John Hembling, possibly lying about something

The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of  people.

Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.

It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.

Here’s what it gets right:

1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.

2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.

As Kelly notes:

Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …

Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.

Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:

According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.

It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.

In other words: Cool story, bro.

3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,

the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.

“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”

Indeed, Kelly writes:

It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.

But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.

1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.

2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.

3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?

I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.

4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!

Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!

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pecunium
11 years ago

Because it doesn’t mean noodles, it means paste/dough.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Soon as I see the word vermicelli, I’m transported back to Young Frankenstein …

Medical Student: Isn’t it true that Darwin preserved a piece of vermicelli in a glass case until, by some extrordinary means, it actually began to move with voluntary motion?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you speaking of the worm or the spaghetti?

I’m glad you like that piece! It’s one of my favourites from the album; it’s supposed to have been written for Louis’s wedding celebrations.

There are some really bouncy medieval pieces, too. St George’s Canzona did an album called Medieval Songs and Dances (that’s the album’s later name). Some of it’s a bit, hmm (Robin Hood and the Tanner is one weird song – friend of mine called it a gay men’s bonding ritual song) but some of it’s great:

http://youtu.be/4jf76kG2kdM

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

Oh, I wasn’t trying too be pedantic about the noodles/pasta thing (though Dr. Husbutt would be! He takes his pasta very seriously… and I laugh at him for it); I meant more that we weren’t have pasta/noodles at all for dinner! We feasted on polpette tonight 😀

kittehserf
11 years ago

dustydeste, I knew it! I knew it wouldn’t be pasta and my joke would be ROONED!

David, thank you.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

Ah, music! A much better topic of discussion!!

I have a fairly broad musical taste, but Baroque was never really for me. Bach, of course, Corelli and Vivaldi of course. Maybe Carpentier and Monteverdi. But not much else really.

Shift a bit earlier, however, and you’ve got Palestrina

sigh…

A bit earlier still and there is Guillaume de Machaut

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

So sick of this ableist shit!

I know the person on the Vox thread probably didn’t mean to be an arse and kitteh set them straight, so I don’t want to pile in, but fucking hell!

I’m really fucking struggling with my OCD tonight and I haven’t fucking slept in days, yes I probably am a little bit fucking mad!

But why the fuck would that mean I don’t have sense and decency?

I am a good person, I have never hurt anybody! I also happen to have a very high IQ!

Insane does NOT equal stupid MRA shithead!

MRAs are shits, that is all.

Sorry, I know everyone’s probably gone, but just had to rage, you know what us insane people are like, no sense and decency!

Fuck.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

Later, of course, you have an embarrassment of riches: Mozart, Gluck, Hayden, Clementi and Boccherini. Boccherini is one of my favorites; a little mannered, a little saccharine at times, but lovely.

And hooray for shunting the tedious trollio onto moderation!

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

Sorry, shouldn’t have said the IQ bit, seems like showing off, in a bit of a rage.
Now I’m gonna crawl away and die, I’m such an arse!

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

Hugs if you want them, ophelia <3

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

No, Ophelia, you are not a good person. You are a wonderful person; witty and interesting, and often displaying great compassion and empathy.

My profound sympathy, and empathy as well, as I’ve been averaging two to three hours a night. All the hugs if you want them.

kittehserf
11 years ago

ophelia, you are NOT an arse, you do NOT need to crawl away and you did NOT sound like you were showing off – given how often ableist slurs are used to say not only that someone’s bad, but that they’re stupid, it’s relevant.

Want some kitty hugs? Or hugs from someone with a guaranteed-snot-free ‘tache?

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

Not *just* a good person, I suppose I should have written there.

I look forward to reading your comments, anyway.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

If you are looking for a good hiding place, I think this kitty knows the best ones

kittehserf
11 years ago

Or even better, a highly dangerous shark cat!

http://youtu.be/uxUTc1N75Kg

kittehserf
11 years ago

OMG those legs sticking out of the couch! 😀

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

You’re all so lovely.

I’m just so tired and a bit pissed, thought the alcohol might make me sleep, but it’s not fucking working!
15, 15, 15 have to do everything fucking 15 fucking times, so fucking sick of it!

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

Ophelia, hugs if you want them. Want a free virtual spoon of cookie butter? I have an entire jar full of the stuff!

dustydeste – It is NOMMY. Get some milk too, then it’s like you’re eating milk and cookies, except no crumbs! 😛

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

Also, I’m a bit too English to know what to do with compliments, please don’t think I’m ignoring them though, just kind of shy.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Put ’em in your compliments jar for when you want them later! 🙂

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Well, Ophelia, I have exactly 15 hugs for you then. Because you are still an awesome person, just one who does everything 15 times.

“(yes, Argenti I will not not drop completely from the face of the earth).”

Thank you my dearest mango hater 🙂

Also, all hail the Dark Lord!

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

Lack of sleep can indeed make it hard to get things done. So can having cats.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

Food, foods another thing.
Nobody tells you OCD will fuck with that either!
I am so fucking hungry, but oh nooooooo, OCD says no food for 15 hours or something terrible I’ll happen to Mr M!

Sorry, will stop inflicting my insanity now.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Loophole yourself a snack? Or a beverage that’s got nutrional value? (Sorry if this is unwanted advice)

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

And you aren’t inflicting your insanity, we care, therefore you are welcome to continue!

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