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The Daily Beast takes on the Men’s Rights movement — and takes down A Voice for Men’s John Hembling

John Hembling, possibly lying about something
John Hembling, possibly lying about something

The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of  people.

Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.

It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.

Here’s what it gets right:

1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.

2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.

As Kelly notes:

Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …

Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.

Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:

According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.

It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.

In other words: Cool story, bro.

3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,

the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.

“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”

Indeed, Kelly writes:

It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.

But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.

1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.

2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.

3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?

I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.

4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!

Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!

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ahostileworld
11 years ago

Uhuh. Scepticism toward the utility of the term ‘rape culture’ is rape apology. AKA ‘if you disagree with me, you’re a do-do face.’

kittehserf
11 years ago

The world is a hostache place!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Well, rape denialist might be more apt for this one, seeing how he denies that any of this is true — http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Rape_culture

kittehserf
11 years ago

I think they come to the same thing in the end, Argenti. When he’s making rape jokes, he’s a rape apologist.

Marie
11 years ago

@radical parrot

Also, I make stupid mistakes with my English. A dumb typo while attempting to type “zombie plague” once inspired me to write a short, educational story about people turning into zombies for not taking care of their teeth properly.

That sounds like a halloween story a dentist would tell kids. /off topic.

If the Steubenville rape had been an isolated incident, if the rapists were universally reviled for their deed, if the rest of the world would gasp in horror at this mockery of justice, if the victim had been offered support instead of being blamed for being the victim of a horrible crime, and so forth… Then no, there would indeed be no such thing as rape culture.

^BAM. Seriously, how much willful ignorance does it take ahostileworld to deny rape culture when so many people were whining that the rapists’ football careers got ruined?

@ahostileworld

The two rapists are serving time in juvenile detention and have been added to the sex offenders register. This is exactly what should happen to all rapists (the young ones anyway, the old ones belong in prison)

Zie’s* talking about that so many people were expressing sympathy to the rapists, acting like it was a bad thing they got punished.

*sorry, radical parrot, I don’t know your preferred gender pronouns 🙁

Ugh. Did you even read about the Steubenville case? The boys went to jail AFTER the town was exposed for covering up the rape. And they got hardly any time in jail.
If everyone in the town understood how rape is terrible, then why the fuck did they cover it up and defend the rapists so much?

I really want ahostileworld to answer this.

@ahostileworld

‘It follows that Asshole McGee thinks it’s ok to burn down the house of a rape victim, because the victim is the enemy of the attacker.’

Your grasp of logic is lacking. My comment was not in reference to that and I *still* do not know where Maryville is and why it is so important to you.

You were asked if you thought burning down someone’s house in the name of your ’cause’ would ever be justified, and you answered yes.

@katz

Comicfury is down right now, but the new comic is done!

Loved it XD

And, no where near caught up, but gonna post anyway.

Ps: hi everyone! 😀

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Oh no no my dear, you started skeptical of the utility of the term, and when you got told, repeatedly, that it is actually helpful to rape victims, then you switched to denying that rape culture exists.

Can’t backpedal to the utility of the term, we already proved it has one.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
11 years ago

But… you are a do-do face.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

Rape *culture* denialist, if anything at all. Although would stop the ‘denial’ if the existence of said culture were proven.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Hi Marie!! Did you see that I have at least 20 wee wittle fishies? I am Very Excited!

ahostileworld
11 years ago

No you did not. You *claimed* it was helpful to victims. Word to the wise: statement of personal opinion isn’t proof.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Go read the damned link.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Also from RationalWiki:

Rape apology or rape apologetics are umbrella terms for any arguments suggesting that rape is infrequent, misreported, over-reported, not that big a deal, or that it is even excusable in some circumstances, such as within a marriage or if the victim was “provocatively dressed”. “Apology” in the case means defense or justification, like in Christian apologetics, and not a statement expressing regret.

Fits this one to a T. “Why didn’t she report it?” and “Not convicted = not a rapist” are rape apologetics.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

RationalWiki? Seriously?

kittehserf
11 years ago

No you did not. You *claimed* it was helpful to victims. Word to the wise: statement of personal opinion isn’t proof.

More rape apologetics and misogyny: rape victims told you of their experiences and how learning about rape culture helped them. You’re now dismissing that as “opinion”.

Dismissing rape victims’ experiences is a perfect example of rape culture at work.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Got a problem with online definitions, rape apologist?

baileyrenee
baileyrenee
11 years ago

I have far too much time for metal, and everyone needs a leather-bound sir once in a while!

Hostie, what do you think? You strike me as more of a 70’s rock kind of guy, but I wouldn’t be surprised if 80’s glam was your thing. Maybe at the most a few first-day-of-metal bands like Disturbed and Mudvayne? How close am I here?

kittehserf
11 years ago

Argenti – do there seem to be more baby fishies since last night? So glad there are lots of babies around, though it sounds like lots more work heading your way with the tanks!

Athywren
Athywren
11 years ago

Uhuh. Scepticism toward the utility of the term ‘rape culture’ is rape apology. AKA ‘if you disagree with me, you’re a do-do face.’

When your skepticism requires that you misrepresent the target of your skepticism, it has ceased to be skepticism. Skepticism is where you take an honest look at the available data in order to come to a reasonable conclusion… what you’re doing is demanding that we show you a crocoduck, and then asserting that evolution doesn’t exist because we can’t. That’s not skepticism, it’s denialism. (That was an analogy, btw. I know we’re not actually talking about evolution, but your behaviour in this particular matter is identical to that of creationists. Which is funny, if you think about your ranting about our religious adherence to a well evidenced and demonstrable aspect of human society.)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

See, you said “Well how relevant is your shtick? To what extent had banding about buzzwords like ‘rape culture’ alleviated the pain of a single rape victim?”

To which multiple people, myself included, explained how it had.

And since I’m now about ten pages of comments ago, here’s a link — http://manboobz.com/2013/10/20/the-daily-beast-takes-on-the-mens-rights-movement-and-takes-down-a-voice-for-mens-john-hembling/comment-page-1/#comment-364192

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Another one who dismisses the links out of hand without loading the damned page. Go read it.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

None of that. I am classical music guy. Mahler, Beethoven, Shostakovitch, Grieg.

Athywren
Athywren
11 years ago

Also, “snot barrier”? You might need to get your nose checked out if any facial hair growth becomes a snot barrier for you.

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

ahostileworld: And yet, you have failed to provide a single piece of evidence for your claims.

And what the world is:
All world is biscuit shaped, it’s just for me to feed my face
XTC Senses Working Overtime


http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S9gq-ANfjc0&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DS9gq-ANfjc0

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

HEY YOU UNAPOLOGETICALLY DISGUSTING, PATHETIC-MINDED PILE OF PUTRESCENCE AND MORAL FAILURE, EITHER ANSWER THE QUESTIONS OR FUCK OFF

cloudiah
11 years ago

He’s still here? The least he could do is bring snacks, since he brought up the subject of food.

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