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The Daily Beast takes on the Men’s Rights movement — and takes down A Voice for Men’s John Hembling

John Hembling, possibly lying about something
John Hembling, possibly lying about something

The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of  people.

Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.

It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.

Here’s what it gets right:

1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.

2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.

As Kelly notes:

Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …

Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.

Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:

According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.

It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.

In other words: Cool story, bro.

3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,

the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.

“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”

Indeed, Kelly writes:

It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.

But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.

1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.

2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.

3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?

I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.

4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!

Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!

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SittieKitty
11 years ago

The world isn’t all a stampede of puppies and soft fur.

Athywren
Athywren
11 years ago

Apparently not.
Curses, foiled again!

katz
11 years ago

I wonder… if was quick about it, could I overrun the recent comments box just from commenting in this thread?

I did that once. But you do have to be quite quick.

kittehserf
11 years ago

I’ve seen that done once, but I don’t know if the threads were moving this fast.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

You

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Everyone involved decides what the consent is.

This is my favorite, so far. He doesn’t even realize how chilling what he just said is, or in how many ways a system based on that idea could go wrong.

(Or doesn’t care. I still think this one is part lulz troll, which is why I’m not bothering to engage.)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Could

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

…fail

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

The world isn’t all kittens and string.

The world is currently at least 5% cats and sunbeams, at least in my kitchen.

Athywren
Athywren
11 years ago

😛
Karma! If you weren’t cheating, you might’ve made it farther!
(No, hostiletorationality, I don’t actually believe that, it’s a joke.)

kittehserf
11 years ago

Cats and sunbeams! ::is envious::

Yeah, lulz troll is a good part of the vibe I’m getting – that or sock. The shifting goalposts and attempts to needle or cause distress with faux-ignorance, all read that way.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

I still think this one is part lulz troll, which is why I’m not bothering to engage.

Yeah, the bounce is gone out of the bungee. He was amusing for a while, and poking got some great material for katz, but he’s ultimately just the standard model plain old rape apologist idiot, which is pretty boring.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I can see why someone going all “the fact that rape apologism upsets women is so funny, lololol” puts people into “must prove wrong” mode, but honestly, there’s no there there. Not enough substance to be worth the effort, imo.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
11 years ago

@ katz – Pierre is awsome!

kittehserf
11 years ago

Cassandra – it’s possibly even more contemptilble and a lower form of troll that says this sort of shit for the lulz. I don’t imagine for a moment that shitboy isn’t a rape apologist (or worse) but doing it to wind people up says even more about him. Come to that, lulz trolling on a subject like this fits right in with the whole rape apology/pro rape attitude, I think – the desire to force himself or his opinions on others and cause distress.

baileyrenee
baileyrenee
11 years ago

@Brooked, I was totally thinking Patton would be in VJB!

Tea Scones and Clotted Cream: 80’s synth pop

Magic Pony ride on the Rainbow: MLP tribute band

Road-Kill-Munching: Psychobilly

Hostile, darling, are you okay? You’ve been on a site where nobody likes you for an awfully long time, and it can’t be healthy to enjoy that. Wanna talk about what drives you to stay here? Is it simply that the first topics you brought up got smashed so badly that you desperately need to “win” at something, anything, so you will stay until you get the last word (you won’t BTW), or are you numb to the world and you feel feelings again being on here? Or are you just a bored prick with a dreary life and this sad attempt at whatever-the-fuck is the only thing you are capable of doing for fun?

Is your world a hostile one?

🙁

Oh Hostile, we are here for you. Open your cold, black, atheist heart and let us fill you with kittens.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

Just on a sidenote: generally being a creep and accentuating by cultivating an egregiously repulsive snot-barrier under your nose (the last person who got away with it was Tom Selleck) and then accusing other people of doing things that are in bad taste is a tad hypocritical.

Now, would you care to explain how I am a ‘rape apologist’?

kittehserf
11 years ago

baileyrenee, that was beautifully evil. Or evilly beautiful, not sure. 🙂

kittehserf
11 years ago

He has a hate-on for moustaches now?

Trollboy is a) confused and b) desperate.

😀

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

ANSWER THE QUESTIONS, YOU COWARDLY, PUERILE SACK OF SHIT

baileyrenee
baileyrenee
11 years ago

Kitteh, he’s just a wounded soul. Read that username. It’s a cry for help.

Egregiously Repulsive Snot-Barrier: Underground sludge-metal from Berlin

kittehserf
11 years ago

Poor liddle trolly!

Nice to know an easy way for any male-bodied people to keep him away is to cultivate a moustache.

Also nice to see it gives the lie to his claim of having read this site for years’n’years.

… wait, is it the existence of moustaches that makes the world a hostile place? MOAR HOSTILITY PLZ

SittieKitty
11 years ago

Now, would you care to explain how I am a ‘rape apologist’?

Sure. Pretty much every single discussion point you’ve brought up talking about rape and denying rape culture is rape apology.

Glad we cleared that up.

baileyrenee
baileyrenee
11 years ago

2HOSTILE4ME

kittehserf
11 years ago

Ahhh mind on tangent, much as I have no time for metal of any sort, I’m picturing Sir in leather.

WANT.

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