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The Daily Beast takes on the Men’s Rights movement — and takes down A Voice for Men’s John Hembling

John Hembling, possibly lying about something
John Hembling, possibly lying about something

The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of  people.

Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.

It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.

Here’s what it gets right:

1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.

2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.

As Kelly notes:

Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …

Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.

Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:

According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.

It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.

In other words: Cool story, bro.

3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,

the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.

“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”

Indeed, Kelly writes:

It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.

But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.

1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.

2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.

3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?

I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.

4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!

Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!

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hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

He’s tedious, that’s for sure.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

A society with a genuine rape *culture* would never allow legislation to pass that would officially criminalise rape

Oh. My. God. I….bwuh? The troll just baffles me.

Which makes it difficult to understand why people are hostile to the idea of helping men in general through difficult times.

Citation needed, troll.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Then why do you associate yourself in any way with the MRM, even if you’re trying to distance yourself from the clowns David writes about? Is it a case of crossed wires? Have you read the Spearhead and AVfM and characters like Matt Forney under his various pseudonyms? These guys aren’t outliers, they’re what the capital-letter Men’s Rights Movement (or Men’s Human Rights Movement, as Elam calls it) are about.

They don’t actually give a stuff about genuine issues. Do they try to set up men’s shelters? No, they just want women’s shelters closed, or opened to men, which would totally defeat the purpose of keeping abused women safe from their abusers.

Do they really care about boys who’re sexually abused by women? No, the reaction is “hur hur hur, wish I’d had some of that” unless they’re trying to claim that feminists care only about male on female rape (which they also like to deny happens anyway).

If you’re actually doing stuff to help men or boys in need, you really don’t want to have anything to do with these men. They’re the abusers’ lobby. They’re the ones who praise Sodini and Lepine and Breivik and Ball.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I can’t be the only feminist who’s helped a male friend or partner through the aftermath of a rape, right?

Guess why I was the first person he told. Hint – it has something to do with the fact that feminists have a framework already established for talking about rape and that people tend to know that if they want to talk about it, they can talk to us.

kittehserf
11 years ago

I think you just ruined that site for me, kitteh… no longer will I think “truth and beauty bombs,” only toilet paper. :c

But toilet paper = puppies!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

(First person who wasn’t a rape crisis line worker, that is. When he called them? They listened. Guess who tends to run rape crisis lines?)

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

Guess who tends to run rape crisis lines?

(Hint: It’s not MRAs or other asshats of their ilk.)

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

Alonewolf doesn’t represent anybody but themself. That’s why they trade in hackneyed stereotypes about man-hating “people” (as if we don’t know what that’s supposed to mean) and treat strawfeminists common among MRAs as established fact.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

kittehserf – I do not associate or identify with avfm. I think there are legitimate men’s issues, like genial mutilation or education. Though I do think you misrepresent their stance on boys being raped as ‘ I wish I had some of that’. Quite on the contrary, the most idiotic website in history ‘Register-Her’ lists women abusers alongside people who simply said shit in an effort to conflate opposition with crime.

I will not call any communists the ‘gulag lobby’ be ause this is what a minority is willing to do. I will not call liberals the ‘hypocrite lobby’ because of a sizable minority. Would you be willing to do the same for other political movements, especially those with an international target group?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Want to hear about what happened when he told his brother and male friends? That didn’t go so well.

cloudiah
11 years ago

I can’t be the only feminist who’s helped a male friend or partner through the aftermath of a rape, right?

Nope. And I was sure as shit that by that time I had learned about feminism, because I grew up surrounded by rape culture and otherwise would probably have said something incredibly hurtful out of sheer ignorance.

Athywren
Athywren
11 years ago

But toilet paper = puppies!

You make toilet paper out of puppies!? Does Australian depravity know no bound!? Dear god!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I was still in high school. Good thing I did have a framework to help me understand what happened, because it’s not like I had a vast well of life experience to draw on at that point.

(Though like most girls I had plenty of experience with being a target for predators in a less traumatic sense.)

cloudiah
11 years ago

I didn’t realize swarming the comment sections of newspaper articles constituted a “political movement.” LO-fucking-L.

Hey, can anyone recommend a really good lip gloss? I hate ones that feel too heavy. This would be a more interesting and valuable topic of discussion than Mr. Hostile here.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Thing is, identifying problems and feeling aggrieved about them is not a political movement. It’s when you start doing organized activism with other people who see the same problems that you become a political movement.

Writing ranty blog posts about how women shouldn’t be allowed to vote is not activism, at least not of the kind that’s going to do anything the help male rape or domestic violence victims, or stop circumcision.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Athywren – no, no, it’s our secret weapon. Toilet paper turns into puppies and catches the enemy at their most vulnerable. If they aren’t reduced to helpless squeedom by the cuteness, the puppies sit in their trousers and they can’t move.

If that fails, there’s the Kittens of Mass Destruction:

http://youtu.be/krHIdm-5KQ4

Athywren
Athywren
11 years ago

I will not call any communists the ‘gulag lobby’ be ause this is what a minority is willing to do. I will not call liberals the ‘hypocrite lobby’ because of a sizable minority. Would you be willing to do the same for other political movements, especially those with an international target group?

I’m quite happy to call the BNP the racism party. Why? Because it’s their platform. It’s their selling point. It is true that all groups have flaws, and come with a minority of people who will turn to extremism and savagery, but when the major issues argued for by the majority are appalling as a factory standard, and the extreme minority are simply worse, it’s not really honest to compare them with hypocritical liberals.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

CassandraSays – I couldn’t agree more!

kittehserf
11 years ago

Though I do think you misrepresent their stance on boys being raped as ‘ I wish I had some of that’.

Bullshit.

http://manboobz.com/2012/10/09/spearheader-the-real-victims-of-predatory-female-teachers-are-the-guys-hot-teachers-arent-having-sex-with/

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

The “activism” that MRAs actually do points to a goal of removing legal protections against violence and political rights for women, not doing anything to increase protections for men. The work safety issue is such a perfect example – instead of wanting to see workplace safety measures implemented more consistently for all workers, they just want more women to get hurt. And some of them actively oppose the workplace safety measures that could keep men in the jobs where it’s applicable safe, because apparently safety equipment is for women and wimps.

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

I like how Mr. Lone Wolf won’t respond to me. I suppose it’s because of my nasty foul mouth calling him the names that accurately describe him. Poor baby. It’s not like what he’s saying is any less offensive.

Very curious as to where the hell this asshat is that he can complain about the state of education specifically as pertains to the male population, though.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Troll, you keep saying you don’t care for or identify with the main MRA groups, yet you keep defending them.

Why?

As I said, they aren’t outliers. They aren’t extremists who’re unrepresentative of the MRM. They are the MRM. It’s about hurting women, not helping men (except in the sense that they think it helps men to be able to hurt women).

You’re either really unfamiliar with them, or lying. Which is it?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Did everyone see the story about women being banned from even applying to certain majors at university in China? Yep, those poor men sure are being discriminated against in education.

kittehserf
11 years ago

dustydeste – argh, now I’m afraid this is another Australian MRA douchecanoe.

::crosses fingers that we don’t have another embarrassment like that around – Mr Copyright Nolan and Tony Abbott are enough for one country::

kittehserf
11 years ago

Cassandra – oh, but he said western education. Presumably either things are peachy in non-western countries, or non-western countries don’t count.

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