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The Daily Beast takes on the Men’s Rights movement — and takes down A Voice for Men’s John Hembling

John Hembling, possibly lying about something
John Hembling, possibly lying about something

The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of  people.

Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.

It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.

Here’s what it gets right:

1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.

2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.

As Kelly notes:

Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …

Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.

Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:

According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.

It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.

In other words: Cool story, bro.

3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,

the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.

“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”

Indeed, Kelly writes:

It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.

But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.

1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.

2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.

3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?

I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.

4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!

Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!

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ahostileworld
11 years ago

@ Marie, I extrapolate from this that those five percent did not realise that what they did was rape. This is because sexual acts and killing someone are fundamentally different in nature. When somebody is dead, there is no question about ghem being dead. When somebody has been raped, the victim is still alive (hopefully) and the perpetrator’s perception of his action will be his alone.

Marie
11 years ago

@ahostileworld

Yes. Aaaaannnddd it still was rape. Just because they didn’t think it was rape doesn’t mean it wasn’t rape. the fact that they don’t know what rape is makes it very telling that we live in a rape culture.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

Be specific.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

Well, actually the perception happens to include the fucking victim too. They don’t just stop existing, as you’ve helpfully “hopefully” pointed out in your comment…

Kind of a big issue that consent is so fucking hard for some rapists to grasp eh? Prolly has something to do with that rape culture people have been talking about…

ahostileworld
11 years ago

@ Marie, I do not see how you can jump from 5 percent of rapists being dull/delusional/badly informed to the conclusion that we live in a rape culture.

katz
11 years ago

Be specific.

Post-industrial electronic body music.

That’s about as specific as I can think of.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

So because they didn’t understand consent it’s suddenly doesn’t matter that they raped someone?

No no no, see the victim of the crime, the person who didn’t consent, they don’t have a say at all in how consent matters…

actually, that just gave me a sad because it’s totally fucking true since they’ve been raped… sigh. life is shitty.

Marie
11 years ago

@ahostileworld

@ Marie, I do not see how you can jump from 5 percent of rapists being dull/delusional/badly informed to the conclusion that we live in a rape culture.

Okay. Again: find 5% of people who think killing people isn’t murder. 5% is a lot bigger than it sounds. 1 in 20. Probably someone you know is a rapist. I don’t think that’s as common for murderers*

*the whole rape/ murder comparison isn’t the best, especially since in the US killing of people of color is viewed as justified and not often punished. So we may need another crime comparison.

Marie
11 years ago

^is often viewed. Especially by the justice system.

pecunium
11 years ago

Ooh… a Pellish comment: The rest of us, who are not subnormally intelligent, were 17 or 18 when we became sophomores at a university.

Now, me, I’d say “youth” runs until sometime between 22-25. So the majority of it, even if one is enrolled in university by the age of 17, was gone at the age of 14.

That’s simple arithmetic, doesn’t even require on to logic at all.

I’m not bad at mathS, I am just a good student.

You may have excelled at tests. At learning, not so much.

@ David Futrelle, thank you for finally clearing that up. Now let us see if a certain someone realises that she has a cartonful of egg on her face.

Assumes facts not in evidence. I have spent time in Germany. I have spent time in Ukraine. I have spent time in Korea. I have spent time in Iraq. I have spent time in Kuwait. I have spent time in Canada. I have spent time in Scotland. I have spent time in England. I have spent time in the US. I have spent time in France.

I have posted to Manboobz when not in several of those places. It didn’t make me a native, just because that’s where my IP address was.

“I used the last one and a half hours reading the articles people suggested I read. Well, four of them. I returned here and saw that people had moved on from the topic themselved.”

So… were they long? Because let me tell you, if it takes you thirty minutes to read things of less than 40 pages, your stellar student skills look much more amazing, what with the lack of sleep you must have had keeping up with the reading.

Athywren
Athywren
11 years ago

@ Marie, I extrapolate from this that those five percent did not realise that what they did was rape.

Is ignorance of the law an acceptable excuse?
Would you say that such ignorance could contribute to, or be maintained by some culture of one kind or another?

Hey! Do you think we should try some kind of campaign to raise awareness of the importance of consent so that people are aware if they’re raping someone? That seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to me. I can’t think of any reason to oppose such a thing… unless there was some culture or other which led people to be violently opposed to it.

katz
11 years ago

I want to go back to the bit where he admitted that he would consider it justifiable to murder people to get what he wants.

pecunium
11 years ago

McGee: @ Marie, I extrapolate from this that those five percent did not realise that what they did was rape. This is because sexual acts and killing someone are fundamentally different in nature. When somebody is dead, there is no question about ghem being dead. When somebody has been raped, the victim is still alive (hopefully) and the perpetrator’s perception of his action will be his alone.

Is there a thought there? The rapist’s thoughts aren’t really relevant. Martha Stewart didn’t think she did anything wrong. Cheney doesn’t think waterboarding is torture. Zimmerman thinks he was in the right murdering Trayvon Martin.

Rape is rape, independent of the “perception” of the rapist.

@ Marie, I do not see how you can jump from 5 percent of rapists being dull/delusional/badly informed to the conclusion that we live in a rape culture.

Wow… that’s some mighty good logicking there.

Let’s take the most favorable numbers… 1:6 women will be raped in their lifetime.

That’s about 17 percent of women. So of the seventeen percent of women who are raped, 5 percent of their rapists did it by accident. That means 95 percent of those women were intentionally raped.

But you don’t think that’s evidence of a rape culture, that more than 15 out of 17 rapes were done on purpose.

katz
11 years ago

…Maybe that’s why he doesn’t think rape culture exists! Because “well, it wasn’t really murder, because that judge was an activist” actually does sound like good logic to him!

ahostileworld
11 years ago

Sorry, should not have said 5 percent of rapists. 5 percent of men. Well, I tried to say it earlier, but I’ll try again. Murder is cut-and-dry by its very nature. When somebody is dead, they are dead and only the most delusional killers will succeed at bullshitting themselves into thinking that they did not just kill somebody.

Rape does not always involve killing somebody. It is a sexual crime that involves sexual activity. Here, it is much easier to fool yourself into thinking that what you just did was alright.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

1:20 is a huge number… that’s higher than the male rape number of 1:33… seriously, given a rough estimate of 313 million people in the USA, half of them being men, that’s like 7.8 million male rapists… given similar numbers: 39 million women victims of completed rape (1:4), 4.7 million men victims of completed rape (1:33). In just the United States… Assuming no one outside the USA has ever been raped (which is ridiculous because the numbers are closer to 1:3 in Canada for women and I’m assuming places elsewhere aren’t much better but for the sake of argument) that’s 0.013% of the world’s population for women victims ish… That’s fucking enormous…

pecunium
11 years ago

katz: I want to go back to the bit where he admitted that he would consider it justifiable to murder people to get what he wants.

That would require him to admit questions exist outside of his desire to answer them/pretend he answered them.

You know, admit there is a real world outside his head.

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

I do not see how you can jump from 5 percent of rapists being dull/delusional/badly informed to the conclusion that we live in a rape culture.

Hey, just for the record, Asshole McGee conflated “all men” and “all rapists” back up the thread a little bit. I wasn’t going to engage today, given that I’m busy with a deadline and all, but I am reading everything, and that was too funny to pass up.

Athywren
Athywren
11 years ago

Here, it is much easier to fool yourself into thinking that what you just did was alright.

But I thought rape culture didn’t exist? You were quite adamant about this.

Marie
11 years ago

@ahostileworld

Rape does not always involve killing somebody. It is a sexual crime that involves sexual activity. Here, it is much easier to fool yourself into thinking that what you just did was alright.

This is not about whether people are fooling themselves into thinking what they did was alright. It is about 5% of men being rapists, and you thinking that’s an insignificant number, and that 1 in 20 men being a rapist means we’re not in a rape culture. the fact that so many people did not know what they did was rape does not in any way change rape culture. it just exemplifies the fact that lots of people don’t know what rape is.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

There isn’t really any better comparison I can come up with that doesn’t involve property crime and that’s a shitty comparison I’d rather not make… Um… hm, have to think on that one a bit…

pecunium
11 years ago

Sorry, should not have said 5 percent of rapists. 5 percent of men. Well, I tried to say it earlier, but I’ll try again. Murder is cut-and-dry by its very nature. When somebody is dead, they are dead and only the most delusional killers will succeed at bullshitting themselves into thinking that they did not just kill somebody.

You underestimate the ways in which people rationalise.

Large numbers of people have killed others and said, “it was an accident, it wasn’t murder! I didn’t mean to kill them!”.

Not surprising really, given the way you deny rape, and rape culture, and your own words.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

Athywren, what you just quoted from me can in no world of reason be paraphrased as ‘rape culture exists’.

Brooked
Brooked
11 years ago

No Compelling Evidence: Emo

You Can Jump From 5: ska

When Somebody is Dead: shoe gaze

Longer Than 20 Minutes: skiffle

The Topic Themselved: Scandinavian prog rock

katz
11 years ago

So you would murder people, right? I’m still not past this.

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