The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of people.
Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.
It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.
Here’s what it gets right:
1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.
2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.
As Kelly notes:
Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …
Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.
Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:
According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.
It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.
In other words: Cool story, bro.
3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,
the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.
“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”
Indeed, Kelly writes:
It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.
But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.
1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.
2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.
3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?
I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.
4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!
Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!
Ah, so you think “rape culture” means that everyone enjoys rape and considers it to be a perfectly acceptable recreational activity? ‘Cuz that’s not what it means.
How often do people say that a person who was murdered “wasn’t really murdered”? How often do they claim that it was a consensual killing, that is only now being painted as a murder because the victim regrets their choice to die? There are very few murder apologists, but rape is routinely minimised. “Rape by regret” is a term that we hear a lot from the MRM… I’ve never heard of “murder by regret.” Have you?
BTW 2: it’s “bandying about” not “banding about”.
LBT – in the interest of fairness, I should tell you that I am not easily baited into what I think you are trying to do here. FYI: I don’t give a shit about avfm, Warren Farrell, or whoever else is fetishised on this website. I care about the issues I care about. I do not answer for American men’s rights advocates. I do not expect anyone on here to answer for anyone who isn’t them.
Quite frankly, I did not answer your question because I did (and still do) find your question irrelevant.
So why cry about what you ignorantly consider to be misrepresentations of them?
Then why are you posting here, in an article specifically about AVfM? Why are you on about the MRM being so different from these groups when you have nothing to say that doesn’t echo them, and don’t come up with any examples of MRAs who actually do anything to help, say, male victims of abuse?
All you’re doing is trotting out the same willfull ignorance displayed by MRM misogynists. You need to up your game.
BTW you seem to be assuming everyone on this site is American or Canadian. Fail!
RE: ahostileworld
You said, “Men’s rights are about the human rights violation that is male genital mutilation, unfair treatment in western educational systems, (lack of) fair treatment in family courts, health concerns, war, and concerns about child abuse.” I am asking for evidence, because I honestly do want to research. Yes, I am baiting you, because I have yet to see a MRA give me evidence, and I do really want it.
Why is it irrelevant to ask for proof of your assertion?
@ Viscaria – I was not talking *about*, but *to* Viscaria.
The bit about unfair treatment in Western educational systems makes me laugh. Yeah, because girls are doing better than boys academically in some places, it could only be because the system’s loaded against boys, waaaaahhhh!
Fact: boys get far more attention in school than girls. Even when girls get something approaching 50%, it is seen by the boys and the teachers as the girls getting far too much time, as if they’re getting the majority of the attention.
Cry me a river.
Sorry, to auggziliary.
So, hostile world, why are you here? We are talking about MRAs based in North America but you’ve just sid you don’t have any interest in them. Is recreational Internet flailing a new exercise fad now?
Kittehserf, I was responding to the first comment on the blog, not the blog post itself.
…
Wat.
Like seriously, does this make sense to anybody?
Cool! Does one have to wear special clothing for it?
Shorter ahostileworld: Strawmanning is terrible! You feminists just hate men. Now let me tell you my idea of what feminist ideas say.
Continuing on from my “murder from regret” thought, it could easily be said that we have an anti-quality of life culture far more than a murder culture – there are people who wish to end their own lives with dignity before living becomes unbearable for them, but the law makes euthanasia illegal. In these situations, a compassionate action and a truly consensual killing is painted as murder – not by a regretting victim, but by the state. Yes, people murder, but we have anything but a murder culture.
I never brought up the topic of feminism. Other posters did. I merely suggested that men’s rights advocates talk about a number of legitimate concerns pertaining to boys and men.
ahostileworld – that still doesn’t answer the question of why, if you’re so uninterested in the doings of Hembling, Elam et al, you’re reading this article, or this blog, at all. You’re evidently familiar enough with it to talk about David “fetishising” these scumbags (pfft what an idea, gross) yet adopt the lofty tone of one whose interests don’t have much to do with them at all. Do you go to knitting blogs and say “Oh, but I’m not interested in knitting, embroidery is my concern”? It’d make as much sense.
On top of that, the first comment here is making much the same points as the OP anyway: the Daily Beast article was far too kind to Hembling &co, talking about them as “misguided” when they are in fact malicious.
This is a feminist site, ahostileworld. MRAs hate feminism, both in their strawman sense and in the very idea that women are people, not property.
You still haven’t answered the questions of 1) who are these cool MRAs you talk about and 2) why you’re here, commenting, at all.
Btw, is anyone else reading “ahostileworld” but thinking “a softer world”?
Not me – I just think it’s a joke an MRA calling himself ahostileworld when that’s exactly what they want for women. Or rather, an even more hostile world.
“A softer world” made me think of ads for tissues or toilet paper.
Nah, I don’t hate feminism. But as I said, I can only speak for myself.
As far as I can tell, ahostileworld believes that we are mischaracterizing MRAs and that we should stop, but he doesn’t consider himself responsible for proving that they have been mischaracterized, because he’s a alone Wolf. But I guess we should take his word for it anyway.
Also, he thinks just talking about rape culture won’t help any rape victims. But he’s not saying feminists just talk about rape culture. He just thought he’d throw that out there, just in case somebody, somewhere, is just sitting around talking about rape culture. He does not approve of that person. Despite the fact that several people have already let him know that talking about rape culture helped them.
Phew. Is that it?
Alone wolf = Lone Wolf, obvs
ahostileworld, you hopelessly stupid, willfully ignorant shitbag, go actually learn what words mean before you whine about the concepts you incorrectly think they represent. Rape culture is not everyone in a culture being all “Woo rape! Rape is awesome and fun!,” and if you actually believe that’s what it means, you’re even more obtuse and laughable than I originally thought.
Now go away, you disingenuous turd.
I think you just ruined that site for me, kitteh… no longer will I think “truth and beauty bombs,” only toilet paper. :c