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The Daily Beast takes on the Men’s Rights movement — and takes down A Voice for Men’s John Hembling

John Hembling, possibly lying about something
John Hembling, possibly lying about something

The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of  people.

Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.

It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.

Here’s what it gets right:

1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.

2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.

As Kelly notes:

Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …

Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.

Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:

According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.

It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.

In other words: Cool story, bro.

3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,

the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.

“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”

Indeed, Kelly writes:

It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.

But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.

1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.

2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.

3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?

I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.

4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!

Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!

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kittehserf
11 years ago

Hating MRAs is hating trans* people?

::head asplodes::

I mean, MRAs are such great spokespersons for trans* people.

Totally OT, I’ve found a site with the Saturday morning superhero comics and cartoons of my yoof and am having a nostalgia bonanza. The Herculoids, Shazzan, Moby Dick, Mightor … ah. 🙂

ahostileworld
11 years ago

‘Lie by implication. You made a direct comparison, in an attempt to show us as hypocritical of one type of destruction (which you lauded as legitimate political expression) with another; now the idea was that we, as internallu consistent, needed to decry that as horrid; or be hypocrites.But, since you had already made a plea for the generic legitimacy of defacing artworks, you were implying the other was in some way unjustified.’

Your entire post is an outright false statement. I did not *imply* anything. I asked one interlocutor what they made of the suffragettes, if they thought defacing some generic, mawkish, non-descript piece of ‘artwork’ was an eeeeebil thing to do.

The rest of your speculations about my motivations on here are just that: speculations. For instance, you say I am against feminism. Here’s a hint for you and all those other paranoid people out there who see the enemy everywhere: I have never been an opponent of feminism. But then, you don’t really strike me as a feminist.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
11 years ago

For the love of god, you made a poor attempt at a ‘gotcha’ and you got schooled. You can take it on the chin and move on, or you can just keep digging yourself in deeper. Your choice.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Hey fuckwit, you wouldn’t be here whining about feminism and women and doing feeble gotcha attempts and shifting goalposts if you weren’t a misogynist. Nothing you’ve said suggests you have any respect for women or feminism at all.

You’re no better than any other troll, just another of the mealy-mouthed, disingenuous slimy type. We’ve seen sooo many of those.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

Hands up who believes @ahostilewotsit is a feminist.

crickets

eseldbosustow
11 years ago

Just out of curiosity, did he EVER answer my questions?

kittehserf
11 years ago

I don’t think he answered anyone’s questions!

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

@Pecunium

Sunny D is not horrid of memory, because I first had it when young enough it wasn’t “WTF is that?” But it’s low on the list of potables today.

Oh gosh, not me. Sunny D is on my list of “foods kids like” that I despised as a kid. Pride of place on that list, by the way, belongs to Kraft Dinner. Gross.

Hyena Girl
Hyena Girl
11 years ago

Now now, let’s give him credit. As opposed to many of our… erm… visitors, he actually noticed that questions were being asked. After all, it reminded him to move the goalposts.
Other than that, no, he hasn’t answered questions in any meaningful way.

Ally S
11 years ago

What. The. Fuck? That was just…no, I got nothing. Besides to ask if anyone read Ally’s link as saying hating MRAs is anti-trans* cuz trans* women face…no, just no. Transmisogyny =/= misandry, I can’t even fucking…

Pecunium, I have a lint roller, if you find my eyes you can borrow it.

What boggles my mind is that Valerie herself (the author of that comment featured in the link) is a trans* woman yet she says shit like that.

It reminds me of a separate incident: one MRA dude had the nerve to try to convince me that my transness is a result of having failed at being masculine and facing misandrist bullying from peers when I was a child. He was trying to do some outreach shit in order to persuade me to join the MRM, and he completely dismissed what I was saying about myself – as if all of his preconceived notions about me were true. Needless to say, fuck that guy.

thenatfantastic
11 years ago

It makes a twisted sort of sense. Like how many TERFs think that trans men are SUPER X-TREME lesbians who’ve been brainwashed by the patriarchy.

ostara321
ostara321
11 years ago

Hostile Shithead, a feminist? Let’s see. I’ll take things no feminist would ever say for 1000, Alex.

A society with a genuine rape *culture* would never allow legislation to pass that would officially criminalise rape.

LOL @ ‘internalised misogyny’

How relevant am I? I’m completely irrelevant, which is why male genial mutilation is so going on in my country. It is the reason men have a much lower life expectancy. It is the reason children are beaten by their parents.
Well how relevant is your shtick? To what extent had banding about buzzwords like ‘rape culture’ alleviated the pain of a single rape victim?

Yeah, no. It’s like he thinks we’re incapable of scrolling back.

Also, I know this is a million pages back, but in the case of “Bill’s wife” as she refers to herself, quite frankly, I’m perfectly fine playing “no true feminist” with someone who claims to be so much better than the rest of us feminists because she’s not “silly” enough to take her husband’s damaging rhetoric seriously (paraphrasing). I’m perfectly fine playing “no true feminist” with someone who’s already implied she’s the “more feminist than thou” one because she is able to ignore her husband’s damaging misogynist rhetoric when it suits her.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

@ kittehserf – YOU are a feminist? 3-4x guffaw to that. You’ve been a good boy and practised all the buzzwords on your vocabulary list. So you would be the maths student who learnt all the formulae by heart but doesn’t understand the principles behind them. But there is a little more to being a feminist than that – Ayaan Hirsr Ali you are not.

Howard Bannister
11 years ago

Yeah, no. It’s like he thinks we’re incapable of scrolling back.

I see that a lot with our trolls. They really seem to think if it’s not on the front page of the comments, nobody can see or remember it.

It really seems to say something about *them*.

thenatfantastic
11 years ago

HEY HEY AHOSTILEWORLD DO YOU THINK F4J ARE SHOWING THAT THEY’RE CAPABLE OF BEING GOOD PARENTS WHEN THEY DO THINGS LIKE PLOTTING KIDNAPPINGS?

ahostileworld
11 years ago

‘THEY’? Do you think parents in general are fit to be parents when some of them kill their babies?

ahostileworld
11 years ago

Was that an racist question?

ahostileworld
11 years ago

Just wondering…

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Stop being stupid, if you can, ahostileworld,.

thenatfantastic
11 years ago

I said ‘they’ are fit to be parents because the whole point of F4J is that they’re parents who think that they (as individuals) have been unfairly denied custody. So do you think that the individuals involved in plotting the kidnap of an infant are doing a wonderful job of showing that they, as individuals, are fit to be parents?

inurashii
inurashii
11 years ago

one MRA dude had the nerve to try to convince me that my transness is a result of having failed at being masculine and facing misandrist bullying from peers when I was a child.

My friend got dogpiled by TERF radscum this past weekend. They were saying the same thing to a trans man in the thread, that society had made him “hate his body so much that [he] wanted to become a man.”

ahostileworld
11 years ago

You could have had this easier. If you had asked me, ‘are kidnappers to be trusted as parents’, then my answer would have been no straight away. Who is doing the goalpost shifting now?

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@ kittehserf – YOU are a feminist? 3-4x guffaw to that. You’ve been a good boy and practised all the buzzwords on your vocabulary list. So you would be the maths student who learnt all the formulae by heart but doesn’t understand the principles behind them. But there is a little more to being a feminist than that – Ayaan Hirsr Ali you are not.

Omygod, I can’t believe a hostile world is getting all “No, you aren’t feminists” on us. It’s just…baffling.

@inurashii

Ugh, that sucks 🙁 Hope your friend is feeling okay (since they were being really fucking creepy/transphobic to him.)

@ahostileworld

You could have had this easier. If you had asked me, ‘are kidnappers to be trusted as parents’, then my answer would have been no straight away. Who is doing the goalpost shifting now?

Dude.
1) you brought up fathersforjustice as a good mens rights organization.
2)they planned out kidnappings.
therefore 3) they are clearly not a good organization and also
4) you are full of shit.

Have a nice day.

thenatfantastic
11 years ago

Who is doing the goalpost shifting now?

Uhm, you. In that very comment. Like, a textbook example.

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