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The Daily Beast takes on the Men’s Rights movement — and takes down A Voice for Men’s John Hembling

John Hembling, possibly lying about something
John Hembling, possibly lying about something

The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of  people.

Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.

It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.

Here’s what it gets right:

1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.

2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.

As Kelly notes:

Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …

Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.

Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:

According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.

It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.

In other words: Cool story, bro.

3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,

the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.

“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”

Indeed, Kelly writes:

It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.

But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.

1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.

2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.

3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?

I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.

4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!

Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!

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Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Nawh, the juice I used was perfectly smooth, so when it separated (and it took awhile once it was stirred up) it separated cleanly, no gloop.

Well, if the vodka:mango ratio was too high it’d never mix in the first place, have to stir while you pour or you risk supersaturation and that was just weird. Sorta like an orange alcoholic lava lamp…

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

Heard people talk about Gatorade before, we don’t have it here, what is it?

So picturing alligators with bandages now.

katz
11 years ago

Gatorade is just a sports drink. Bright colors, all artificial, but probably less nasty than something like Sunny D because it’s meant to hydrate you and so less sickeningly sweet.

Ally S
11 years ago

Ugh, rum and root beer. My best friend insisted that rum and Coke was the best thing ever and I was like “I don’t really like either rum or Coke” but she insisted so I tried it and sure enough, if you don’t like rum or Coke, you won’t like rum and Coke.

Oh god, I hate that combination. I had it once too, and I could barely finish my first sip.

I think the worst alcohol I’ve ever had, though, was whiskey. Way too strong for me.

Also, slightly unrelated, but I just recalled the time I was 12 and worried about getting drunk after eating tiramisu with brandy in it. I eventually convinced myself that I was drunk and then placebo effect. It was an odd age.

pecunium
11 years ago

hostilityboy:

I never said there was a direct connexion between defacing the painting and ending circumcision. What I *did* say was that it got people’s attention.

More disingenuous claptrap (i.e. lies). Yes, it was meant to, “get attention”. To what end? Oh, right, ending circumcision (among other things).

Other people don’t. Those people don’t have the luxury of choosing between ‘negative’ and ‘positive’ attention. All the attention they are going to get for the moment is going to be negative.

That’s just stupid. There is such a thing as negative publicity. The idea when being politically active is to make people look at your agenda, and take away a warm fuzzy. If you don’t do that you have created a baseline impression which makes people (at best) roll their eyes.

At worst it makes them want to bash your head in because you have done something which offends them in a visceral way.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

@katz, Oh, like lukozade, for some reason we always give that to poorly people, bit like Guinness.

@Ally, I did that when I was little after my sister told me ginger beer could get you drunk.

I had to forgive her, anyone with an 80’s perm, white stilettos and a Frankie says relax t-shirt is bound to be bitter. 🙂

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@katz

Ugh, Sunny D is the worst. It’s fake orange juice stuff.

My parents used to get us that stuff, and Fade loved it 😉 She wouldn’t like this thread XD

@cassandrasays

You guys! The Sunny D site has a recipe section. They want you to make cheesecake with it.

O_o That sounds terrible.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Anyone who’s never vomited up Boone’s Farm Apple Wine doesn’t know what true suffering is.

Or so I’ve heard.

katz
11 years ago

Never even heard of that.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

Ooooh, Apple wine sounds toxic, as does sunny D cheesecake, blargh.

Well, it’s been fun, but it’s six in the morning here, think I’d best go to bed.

Nighty night Boobzers. :). I’m glad to be back.

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

Does Boone’s Farm Strawberry Fields count?

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

That sounds like a really good way to ruin a cheesecake. That might even be bad enough to ruin all cheesecake.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@ophelia

Night 🙂

cloudiah
11 years ago

Anything Boone’s Farm counts!

And, Good night, sleepyheads!

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

Then, yeah.

pecunium
11 years ago

M/D 20-20? Mad Dog? OMG! I was trained by my cousin (female) not to drink that, thus avoiding the, “how sick I got” stories.

Argenti: I will never be hating on the mangos “again”. Again implies a cessation.

Sunny D is not horrid of memory, because I first had it when young enough it wasn’t “WTF is that?” But it’s low on the list of potables today.

pecunium
11 years ago

Argenti: I love that scene, and hate the weapons mechanics. The .45 can’t do what it does.

pecunium
11 years ago

Ally: What the fuck did I just read?

Now I’m picking my eyes up, and I’ve got to get the alpaca and silk off them before I put them back in my head.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

You know, I can’t remember if I banned themaskandrose the last time he was here, or just put him on moderation. But looking back over some of his earlier comments, and considering the namecalling and complete lack of substance of his comments today, and the fact that one contained a slur, I think I’ll just put him on the ban list.

I’ll take it! Actually that’s a pretty fantastic win for me tonight so all my thanks David. <3

I have nothing to add, but a bunch of new shows to watch! Which is pretty exciting for me. And Fanta is way better than Sunny D but I like fizzy drinks. I'm also seconding whomever said they dislike beer because I dislike beer and love cider.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Worse than Fanta? Sunny D sounds more and more like Sunny Boy (or its minimally flavoured cousin, Frosty Boy) every minute.

(Frosty Boy in this case not being ice-cream, but a tetra-pack of ice with few patches of alleged orange flavour in it. Suitable for desperate and broke primary-school students only.)

kittehserf
11 years ago

Oh, and when that wombat grows up, she’ll just push the door down! 😀

SittieKitty
11 years ago

It’s like… McDonald’s orange drink, back when McDonald’s didn’t even use orange juice from concentrate… Only sweeter I think.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Pecunium — again as in saying it again. Which you did 🙂

And which scene? “No Ace, just you”? Amazingly, I’ve never paid too much attention to the gun, odd considering I can do most of the movie from memory (is there a saturation point where, if you don’t care, guns just kinda become background scenery? Cuz I spend a lot of time ignoring conversations about [of the four of us, three are lifetime NRA members, guess who isn’t?])

The VtM one he replies to that by tapping the grenade on his belt. (I love Nines, he’s also the one “stuck between a rock and a son of a bitch” [Prince Pain in the Ass])

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

What. The. Fuck? That was just…no, I got nothing. Besides to ask if anyone read Ally’s link as saying hating MRAs is anti-trans* cuz trans* women face…no, just no. Transmisogyny =/= misandry, I can’t even fucking…

Pecunium, I have a lint roller, if you find my eyes you can borrow it.

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