The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of people.
Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.
It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.
Here’s what it gets right:
1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.
2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.
As Kelly notes:
Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …
Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.
Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:
According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.
It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.
In other words: Cool story, bro.
3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,
the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.
“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”
Indeed, Kelly writes:
It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.
But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.
1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.
2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.
3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?
I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.
4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!
Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!
Not to mention that in the US at least, it seems there’s a chance the fire department will let animals die in a fire if the insurance isn’t paid. Dunno if they’ve reached the point of letting humans die, but it’s the logical step.
natfantastic: Have you gotten sucked into the Law & Order vortex? There’s the OG mothership, SVU, Criminal Intent, AND a UK version.
thenat – did you watch Foyle’s War, New Tricks, Morse or Lewis? They’re among my favourites.
If the Dr Blake Mysteries haven’t aired yet (I think the BBC was getting them), give ’em a go. Set in Ballarat in the late 1950s and pretty damn good.
Kittehs: WUT? This thing about insurance, where did you get that?
If a voice for men is so hateful towards women, why are half of its featured writers and editors female? The question, I suspect, will always remain unanswered by the likes of you sick fucks.
(Blake’s the police surgeon, they’re all murder mysteries. I had no idea Ballarat was so dangerous, though it’s still safer than Midsomer.)
@dustydeste
Ohmigod, finally someone else! :3 (not who likes it, I’m sure there are lots, but I also like it but it’s awful and um…similar thought train. W/e I”ll stop rambling now)
@hellkell
I really did not know this was so common :p What seasons is everyone on? (ignore this if I’m derailing to much). I just started 8. That’s the most of any tv show I watched, which is kinda sad since it’s not very good.
@kittehs
Fuuuuccckkk why does the US suck so much.
Whenever libertarians start talking about privatizing public services I always wonder what they plan to do about the fire department. When people call in a fire do they get put on hold while someone checks to see if their insurance coverage is up to date?
@nat
Elementary, Criminal Minds and Law &Order (original, Criminal Intent and early SVU)
hellkell – it was news I read months’n’months ago, could have been last year, maybe on Raw Story? There was an incident where the fire department wouldn’t work on a house that wasn’t paid. I don’t know how it turned out to be in the end, but the original story at least was that they knew there were pets inside. I hope it’s apocryphal, but it’s in the Nothing Would Surprise Me folder at the moment.
Oh yeah, it’s very good as a procedural. I don’t like them much as a rule so I suppose that watching a whole bunch of Elementary indicates that it’s very good indeed.
I don’t want to sound drama-y, but Kittehs and CassandraSays, could you just please trust me and realise that when I mentioned caveats and property damage I wasn’t talking about any instance where a person or animal could get hurt? So, you know, excluding damage if you don’t know who’s there, or some kind of damage where it could spread and hurt people?
Katz, you know that’s not what I’m advocating for. I clearly said that I don’t think one incident of property damage destroys a movement. You don’t think that. I appreciate that, and I understand that my POV isn’t to other people’s tastes. There’s no need to be quite so passive aggressive about it. Yes, you think that my ideas could backfire and end up with things I support having the same done to them, I get it.
@themaskandrose
1) I’d like to see a citation. I know it has some, but I’m doubting all.
2) women can be hateful toward other women. Internalized misogyny. It’s a thing.
3) have you ever read anything they typed? They’re ridiculously hateful.
Kittehs” Oh, I remember that story. It wasn’t insurance, I think the person hadn’t paid whatever FD fee their community had.
The thing is, though, how can you be sure that a building is completely empty? I’m talking about arson specifically.
LOL @ ‘internalised misogyny’
Because these women hate women almost as much as the men there do — and sometimes, it seems, more, as the quote from Driversuz in the other thread suggests. Whether this is self-hate, or whether these women basically classify themselves as special snowflakes”not like other women” I’m not always sure, though GWW at least puts herself in the latter category.
Thanks for the police procedural recommendations. When I end up a Law and Order zombie and unable to function in the real world I’m blaming you lot.
@Kittehs I have seen some of the UK ones but I think I like the proposterousness of the US ones more. ENHANCE!
Although that’s not to say that Midsomer Murders does not have its own uniquely British proposterousness.
@Ahostileworld
Elaborate, fool.
Marie: we’re about to start season 8. Gotta be better than 7!
We’re the sick fucks? We’ve never advocated for baby girls’ voice boxes to be cut out, so fuck you. We’ve never said October should be Bash A Violent Bitch Month, so again, fuck you.
@CassandraSays
This is my bad for not specifying that I wouldn’t support any kind of PD that had the potential to spread (so fire, bombs etc).
Didn’t this troll get banned, or was it just modded for being a rape apologist on another thread?
(I’m thinking in more general terms here – I really don’t see Nat setting fire to any buildings.)
@Cassandra
Actually this is what happens:
http://www.wpsdlocal6.com/news/local/Firefighters-watch-as-home-burns-to-the-ground-104052668.html
@ahostileworld
QUICK QUICK ANSWER MY QUESTIONS ABOUT F4J