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The Daily Beast takes on the Men’s Rights movement — and takes down A Voice for Men’s John Hembling

John Hembling, possibly lying about something
John Hembling, possibly lying about something

The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of  people.

Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.

It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.

Here’s what it gets right:

1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.

2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.

As Kelly notes:

Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …

Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.

Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:

According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.

It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.

In other words: Cool story, bro.

3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,

the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.

“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”

Indeed, Kelly writes:

It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.

But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.

1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.

2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.

3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?

I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.

4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!

Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!

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Joeseph Crumbles
11 years ago

So, did they disable the comments under that article or am I just not able to properly computer today?

Quackers
Quackers
11 years ago

@Joeseph

they are there but take a little while to load

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: Bee

Yeah. As a male rape survivor, I can’t say I’ve EVER felt supported or cared about by the MRM. They’ve done jack shit for me.

melody
11 years ago

Completely irrelevant, but I’ve been watching documentaries about serial killers who targeted women and…..well, some of their quotes read an awful lot like the posts on mens rights forums.
Like the green river killer blames his two ex-wives for his killing spree. And called his first wife a whore for having an affair. Of course, he was having sex with prostitutes at the time in which she cheated on him (he had several STDs as a result). His second wife is where he put most of the blame,…..After they had a son their relationship changed (most notably they had less sex) and their relationship ended in divorce. The whole women are to blame for my actions mentality, the hypocrisy of thinking that if she cheats shes a whore, but if he cheats whatever, all women must be punished for the actions of another woman ect…..I’m just saying…..

Anyway……..

I agree I don’t believe a feminist would marry these MRM types.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

‘Friendzoning’ is of no concern to the overwhelming majority of people concerned about men’s rights. That is one of those myths cooked up to repeatedly strawman what a political movement is all about, quite similar to the ‘men whinge about having to pay for dinner’ strawman. Men’s rights are about the human rights violation that is male genital mutilation, unfair treatment in western educational systems, (lack of) fair treatment in family courts, health concerns, war, and concerns about child abuse.

That’s it.

I do not mind or do not care about ‘friendzones’, who picks up the bill in a restaurant or other related teenage/college campus bullshit that men are routinely strawmanned with by people who have this weird visceral hatred of men.

AK
AK
11 years ago

auggz, I’ve heard them talk a lot about prison rape too, and how it’s an atrocity. And it is.

The thing is, though, I do advocacy in that area, and I’ve never met an MRA who is actually *doing* anything about prison rape. They just like to use the suffering of those men to score points in debates about who has it worse when it comes to sexual violence, which is so appalling I can’t even put it into words. I’ll eat my hat if I ever meet a self-identified MRA doing prison reform/anti-rape advocacy work.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

I friendzone people all the time, and neither me nor anybody who is ‘zoned’ cares. I bought many dinners for people and I never once held any grudges about it.

Warren Farrell is a non-entity, and has been all of his life. He was member of a gender studies faculty before he found his new hobby-horse. Go figure.

About your last question: yes, I do.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: a hostile world

I would LOVE to hear about an MRA who ACTUALLY gives a shit about rape survivors and doesn’t care about picking up checks and fucking friendzones. Please, do share!

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

LBT – But don’t you know, they really do care! That’s why they use male rape victims as a trumph card to try to get women to shut up whenever they try to discuss rape culture!

Quackers
Quackers
11 years ago

Warren Farrell is a non-entity, and has been all of his life. He was member of a gender studies faculty before he found his new hobby-horse. Go figure.

Which is why MRAs quote him all the time and use his theories, and why MRAs to this day screech when his lecture was protested at UofT because of his questionable writing. Go figure.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

• Complains about MRAs being misrepresented
• Asserts that others are motivated by visceral hatred of men with no evidence.

Seriously, ahostileworld, at least learn how to use the term “strawman” before doing your little pot-kettle jig.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

That is a very American-centric view on things. I knew about manboobz before I knew about avfm.

How relevant am I? I’m completely irrelevant, which is why male genial mutilation is so going on in my country. It is the reason men have a much lower life expectancy. It is the reason children are beaten by their parents.

Well how relevant is your shtick? To what extent had banding about buzzwords like ‘rape culture’ alleviated the pain of a single rape victim?

Sitting there and merely claiming you ‘do advocacy’ for this and that group from one corner of your mouth and from the other corner claiming that MRAs ‘don’t do anything’ to confront social injustices is not going to get you anywhere. None of these identity politics trolls on the internet can prove either way that they do anything, so let’s not go down this road.

I have no idea how much money John Hembling, or Paul Elam, or David Futrelle donate to organisations that combat violence against women or genital mutilation, and I’ll never know. We shoukd at least be honest enoughto admit that.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

True story: feminists just sit around saying “rape culture” at one another and call it activism. “Oh hey, did I tell you rape culture?” “Oh, rape culture?” “Rape culture!” “Rape culture.” AND THERE ENDS THE ACTIVISM.

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

Lol, ahostileworld, go die in a fire with your “talking about rape culture’s never helped a rape victim” crap.

As a rape victim, I can assure you that looking at the awful culture that encouraged your rape to be seen as no big deal is a very helpful thing. Talking about rape culture and fighting against it is great for this rape victim. It is very helpful in counteracting the propensity of this culture to pretend like the fact that someone raped me was my fault.

And you know what? I went on and worked at a crisis hotline, fighting rape culture by taking calls from, among others, people who were raped. I “did advocacy” by supporting those people, connecting them with rape councilors and psychologists who specialized in trauma care, letting them know how to report their rapes if they wanted to do so, getting them medical attention, giving them the information they needed… So I’ll thank you to shut the fuck up about things you clearly know nothing about, you little shit.

kittehserf
11 years ago

ahostileworld – what are you referring to that’s very American-centric? The list of “female privileges”? Views on male circumcision?

Most of the MRAs I’ve read about are incredibly American-centric, whether they’re USian or Canadian. They only bother to mention other countries when they want to do a racist rant, or make claims about how India is a terribly misandrist country (yes, it’s SO bad for the men living in the country identified as the worst place in the world to be born in a female body. It’s SO bad that some of the gang rapists and murderers there are actually going to trial).

MRAs are the men wanting women who have voting rights, to lose them. They’re the ones who think they have the right to harass and rape women as they please, and that to deny them that is an attack on male sexuality. They’re the ones who want control over women’s bodies, forcing us to give birth or have an abortion at their whim, and abandoning their children whenever they want to.

If you’re serious about men’s genuine issues, and not just out to express hatred of women, then you’d be well advised to have nothing to do with the MRM. It’s nothing to do with human rights, except to deny them to women. It’s the abusers’ lobby, the Male Supremacist Movement.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: ahostileworld

I’m a male rape survivor, who comes from a family with a cycle of incest. (And yes, my uncle was one of the victims.) Discussing rape culture was IMPERATIVE for me to get a handle on why these things happened in my family, and to me.

Now come on, I want to hear about these cool MRAs you tell me about. I want to learn more about them.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Give him time, LBT. He’s got to think up the details yet.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“To what extent had banding about buzzwords like ‘rape culture’ alleviated the pain of a single rape victim?”

Seeing how you said one person was all you wanted, I can answer that one! Learning that the shit I was hearing about “that’s not really rape” was a cultural problem, not something I should listen to, gave me some measure of comfort that it was, in fact, not my fault.

toujoursgai
11 years ago

Last I checked, no one knew why women have a slightly longer life expectancy. There a lot of theories out there, but I really doubt it’s because of a concerted effort to ignore whatever ahostileworld is doing to increase men’s life expectancy.

As a matter of fact, Google tells me that men’s life expectancy has been increasing at a greater rate than women’s in recent years. In other words, men are catching up. Hooray!

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: Kittehs

I really do want to know. Hope springs eternal. I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if he never coughed up, though.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

@ Viscaria – I never said that. Not was I talking about feminists in general.

@ Argenti Aertheri – I am glad you drew comfort from the fact that you realised that the crime that had been committed against you was not your fault. However, I doubt that it was a silly buzz word that made you realise it, but the realisation itself. A society with a genuine rape *culture* would never allow legislation to pass that would officially criminalise rape. Humanity is a rape species as much as it is a murder species, which is to say, rape and murder will always happen, whatever ‘culture’ you superimpose on a society. The best a society can do is declare those actions as crimes and follow through.

I am glad that you had people around you who helped you through difficult times. Which makes it difficult to understand why people are hostile to the idea of helping men in general through difficult times.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: ahostileworld

Come on, guy, tell me what MRAs I should throw my lot in with! I’m feeling quite neglected here.

kittehserf
11 years ago

ahostileworld – you do know that even blatantly misogynistic societies criminalise rape, don’t you? But it’s seen as a crime against the man who owns the woman. It’s property damage. Hell, even the ancient Assyrians had legislation against it. You know what the punishment was for a “gentleman” who raped a woman? It was for the rapist’s wife to be raped.

Rape being illegal does not tell you one single thing about whether a rape culture exists. When rape victims are regularly abused, told they are liars, told they are ruining the rapists’ lives, driven to suicide, when their HOMES ARE BURNED DOWN, then yes, that fucking well is a rape culture. Boys will be boys! What was she doing, dressing like that/drinking/being alone with him/being in company/walking to work/catching the bus/going shopping/going home/walking through a carpark/reading her book on the train?

You haven’t a clue, have you?

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

@ahostileworld

@ Viscaria – I never said that.

Nah buddy, I said that. You said this:

To what extent had banding about buzzwords like ‘rape culture’ alleviated the pain of a single rape victim?

Not was I talking about feminists in general.

Cool story so who were you talking about?

kittehserf
11 years ago

BTW you’ve already had what, three? people tell you that it was specifically learning about rape culture that helpe them as survivors. Convenient how you ask for that information, then ignore it.

D’you realise you’re moving fast into the rape denial/rape apologist-at-least-by-default camp?