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The Daily Beast takes on the Men’s Rights movement — and takes down A Voice for Men’s John Hembling

John Hembling, possibly lying about something
John Hembling, possibly lying about something

The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of  people.

Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.

It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.

Here’s what it gets right:

1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.

2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.

As Kelly notes:

Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …

Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.

Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:

According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.

It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.

In other words: Cool story, bro.

3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,

the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.

“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”

Indeed, Kelly writes:

It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.

But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.

1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.

2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.

3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?

I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.

4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!

Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!

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thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

David, can you confirm that Justin Bieber is MRAL? Don’t worry if you can’t, by rules of Cathy Brennan and the PJI that means it’s totally super-duper true.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Katz — no, firebombing and such is still out because it could harm someone. And yeah, threatening graffiti is still threatening, like I said, it is, at least usually, meant to intimidate. I’m okay with graffiti though, and my stauch support of the first amendment includes that sort of horrible shit, because the other option makes legit activist graffiti just as illegal (as an example, there’ say spot in Pittsburgh were crossing the road safely means a flight of stairs, a bridge over the road, and the stairs back down…someone(s) sprayed a complaint of its lack of handicap accessibility)

Do I want the threatening sort? No, of course not. But I prefer that option to the non-threatening, and even good, sort being illegal.

Pittsburgh has a lot of the latter though, from the above example to anti-rape stuff to anti-consumerist stuff. Never saw anything threatening, so I might just be overly hopeful that the good would outweigh the bad (while recognizing that the bad would still exist)

FTR, this all is specific to graffiti and similar, but posters are legal so that’s moot. Potentially dangerous activities are out, no matter how good I think the cause may be, for the reasons you’ve already mentioned. I can see why someone may resort to breaking stuff, but I don’t think it should be legal, nor do I really find it justifiable.

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

thenatfantastic – Plus, he has the PERFECT “why I’m an MRA” story! With proof!

David – Damn you, I can’t focus on my homework as I imagine Elam in a bee costume. 😛

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

I think they already do #4.

cloudiah: Pauly Perette is having a nasty divorce from Coyote Shivers, who it seems is a bit abusive. That’s why they hate her.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Neuroticbeagle — no, my mother hates it too. To the point we spent some of the last Criminal Minds episode debating if it had grown a bit and if he was letting it return to an acceptable style. Because he looks like a frikken’ mushroom! (And not the way pecunium does!)

kittehserf
11 years ago

Say, if farting in public makes one a gender warrior, does that work for people with irritable bowel syndrome, too?

/TMI

katz
11 years ago

I’d oppose breaking windows of a PP/burning it down as it obviously interferes with the healthcare of innocent people who have nothing to do with what the other group (non-oppressed btw), but smashing the windows of Tory HQ in 2010? I find it hard to give a shit.

But you’re still using ideology to define what is or isn’t allowable. Someone who thinks Planned Parenthood is a bunch of Satanic baby-killers would think they very much deserved to have their windows broken. Anyone’s window (or any business or public place, if you’re ruling out homes) could end up broken, because anyone might have a reason that seemed fair to them.

And of course breaking windows is trying to intimidate someone. There’s no other message you can send by breaking windows except “you’re doing something we don’t like and so we broke your window and if you don’t stop doing it we might break your window again.” (Graffiti and such can send a message if it actually says something meaningful, but not if it’s just random or meaningless like F4J.)

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

Does anyone else watch Elementary with Johnny Lee Miller and Lucy Lui? I’m really liking it.

Yeessssss Lucy Liuuuuu <3 <3 Benedict Cumberbatch, tru fax.

I’m not caught up on Elementary, though; I’ve been saving this season for being stuck at my parents’ for a month+ this winter, in addition to Supernatural, which I like but am embarrassed about liking because it’s awful.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

lmao, i’m sitting in the airport and people are looking at me funny between David’s suggestions and deste’s LOL JACKASS PRETTY SURE YOUR TROLL DETECTOR’S ONLY GOING OFF CONSTANTLY BECAUSE YOU’RE HOLDING IT.

Also fuck yes Jason Momoa.

And a bunch of other people, I have a very loose definition of what I find attractive. I can pretty much find any archetype of any gender attractive. In fact, I’m pretty sure I have a harder time finding people unattractive than I do attractive… which is something I’ve never thought about before.

And hostilebutthead has yet to answer why the MRM is legitimate when all their main activists are apparently not speaking for them because they’re all awful human beings…

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

Wow, that ended up really weird; I guess that third heart combined with a greater-than ate half my comment…

Anyways, was attempting to say that Lucy Liu is on both my celebrities hotties list AND my celebrities it would be awesome to be friends with list, and also that Lucy Liu is entirely superior to Benedict Cumberbatch by my reckoning (and that I prefer Elementary to Sherlock).

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Supernatural’s totally a guilty pleasure of mine.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

+1 on the Jason Momoa love. Admittedly part of that might be because the first time I saw him he had a shitload of eyeliner on, but still…normally I don’t like dudes that buffed, but for some reason on him at appeals to me.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

Anyone’s window (or any business or public place, if you’re ruling out homes) could end up broken, because anyone might have a reason that seemed fair to them.

Honestly? They’re windows. Look, we disagree on this. We can carry on going around and around until the sun (literally, in my case) comes up, but neither of us will change the other’s mind. Frankly, if MRAs and anti-choicers limited their activities to smashing a few windows I would be jumping for joy.

neuroticbeagle
neuroticbeagle
11 years ago

@dustydeste
Here is an article about the show’s resident diva that I enjoyed:
http://www.tvguide.com/News/Elementary-Jonny-Lee-Miller-Lucy-Liu-1071761.aspx

katz
11 years ago

Elementary has some really well-done parts, I think–the handling of Holmes’ addiction, the relationship between Watson and Holmes, the diversity, and I did love their Moriarty–but at the end of the day it just felt like a police procedural to me, whereas Sherlock, although it has flaws, felt like it went beyond that.

(Lucy Liu and Benedict Cumberbatch are playing different roles, so they don’t seem super comparable to me?)

kittehserf
11 years ago

Honestly? They’re windows.

Windows which might have people or animals right there when the stones get thrown. I’ve been on the receiving end of shitheads throwing stones at train windows. They’re strengthened glass and it’s still fucking frightening and dangerous.

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

(Lucy Liu and Benedict Cumberbatch are playing different roles, so they don’t seem super comparable to me?)

I mean more in general. I don’t find Benedict Cumberbatch very appealing, personally, whereas Lucy Liu is top tier awesomesauce.

As far as Sherlock goes, I’ll admit that a good part of my dislike for it stems from the fact that I find its fandom at large to be weird and mildly disturbing.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

@Kittehs

That wasn’t the situation we were discussing, we were talking about property damage. I’d obviously oppose it if there were anyone in the building. Or at least I would have hoped that would have been obvious.

neuroticbeagle
neuroticbeagle
11 years ago

“…at the end of the day it just felt like a police procedural to me.”

I can see that. I just happen to like police procedurals.

katz
11 years ago

Honestly? They’re windows. Look, we disagree on this. We can carry on going around and around until the sun (literally, in my case) comes up, but neither of us will change the other’s mind. Frankly, if MRAs and anti-choicers limited their activities to smashing a few windows I would be jumping for joy.

Fair enough; between me and “everyone smashes everyone else’s windows if they feel like it,” ne’er the twain shall meet. Actually the “everyone smashes windows” position is more appealing to me than the “you’re allowed to smash windows for the right reason” position, since it’s objective.

kittehserf
11 years ago

I’m thinking more that people get a bit slack about whether their stone-throwing is going to hurt anyone or not – there could be security in the building, how will they know?

Plus, even property damage alone can be pretty damn traumatising – think how bad it is when a place is burgled, home or business – it’s not just about the theft in those cases. And that’s going to hurt people who are probably not the targets, isn’t it? The corporate heads or policy makers or whoever aren’t the ones being hurt by that sort of thing, it’s the people at the bottom of the pile.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

With property destruction, especially arson, I also have concerns about the fact that even if you think there’s nobody inside, there still might be stray animals/homeless people taking shelter/somebody else who you haven’t thought about. Plus why should the fire department people have to risk their lives just because you have a grudge against the people who own/inhabit a building?

kittehserf
11 years ago

*bottom of the pile in that organisation/company, I mean.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

I just happen to like police procedurals.

I’m possibly the only anarchist in the world to like police procedurals. If anyone has any recommendations I’m all ears. Already seen Bones, NCIS, CSI, CSI (Miami) and am currently working my way through Cold Case.

(Why yes I have read ‘How To Be A Fan Of Problematic Things’, why do you ask?)

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