Categories
a voice for men are these guys 12 years old? johntheother lying liars misogyny MRA

The Daily Beast takes on the Men’s Rights movement — and takes down A Voice for Men’s John Hembling

John Hembling, possibly lying about something
John Hembling, possibly lying about something

The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of  people.

Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.

It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.

Here’s what it gets right:

1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.

2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.

As Kelly notes:

Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …

Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.

Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:

According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.

It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.

In other words: Cool story, bro.

3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,

the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.

“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”

Indeed, Kelly writes:

It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.

But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.

1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.

2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.

3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?

I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.

4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!

Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!

1.9K Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

Katz, I mentioned it as everyone had kind of jumped on that of all the examples of F4J ‘activism’ I mentioned, and it happens to be the one I find least egregious. That’s not to say I don’t think other people shouldn’t find it so, nor can I not sympathise with their views. I didn’t think it was a massive deal to be honest, but if I’d have thought it might rejuvenate the debate, I wouldn’t have.

I don’t agree that vandalism only serves to intimidate and silence. An oppressed group spray painting the walls or putting up posters on the walls of a powerful group doesn’t silence them.

I’d oppose breaking windows of a PP/burning it down as it obviously interferes with the healthcare of innocent people who have nothing to do with what the other group (non-oppressed btw), but smashing the windows of Tory HQ in 2010? I find it hard to give a shit.

ostara321
ostara321
11 years ago

@Argenti, oh, seriously, they were all three different people? Wasn’t there a troll who took on like, a biebillion different socks though? Or am I just really remembering my trolls wrong?

@auggz, I’m pretty sure Harry Potter isn’t art because it’s popular and smarty pants Asshole McGee here likes to turn his nose up at anything popular in order to prove just how smart and original and totally not like those other unwashed masses he is.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Argenti – yeah, if fauxfrench is a sock, he hasn’t been identified yet. I still think he might be Mr 90%. I don’t think the Naif was a sock, and Pell – well, he’s been so many socks, and all in the same pattern, lol.

auggz – what is art? The Ring Cycle, prolly. Or other special dudely dude stuff.

katz
11 years ago

As for serving the same purpose, yeah, hence my “maybe”; as for that line though, whether or not anyone could get hurt seems an easy one.

Obviously anything that does or could harm people is right out, but it’s an insufficient criterion because it allows for all kinds of vandalism meant to intimidate people (threatening graffiti, for instance). Plus then firebombing a building when no one is there is back in. as long as nobody gets hurt.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
11 years ago

@ auggziliary – as a British WWII buff, my guess is he’s a fan of George Formby movies.

kittehserf
11 years ago

ostara – Pell’s done a lot of socking (he always goes into meltdown and gives the game away, though) and Mr 90%, aka Mr Al, has been at it forever.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Sir Bodsorth – George Formby, LOL!

But none of that modern stuff like the Goons.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

a biebillion different socks

WHATIF Mr 90% were teh biebz? *fantasy lines*

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

Tracy – Yeah it is, also nom. Do you listen to Trent Reznor’s music too?

I feel mortified everytime I mention I’m a NIN and HTDA fan. >_>

neuroticbeagle
neuroticbeagle
11 years ago

Matthew Gray Gubler. Not the latest haircut though, he needs to grow that mushroom look out!

Oh good, I’m not the only one who doesn’t like his haircut. I like it much better when it’s longer.

Pauley Perette, who is, by my understanding, an absolute sweetheart in real life.

I <3 Abby.

Does anyone else watch Elementary with Johnny Lee Miller and Lucy Lui? I’m really liking it.

ostara321
ostara321
11 years ago

I think it’s Mr Al I’m remembering then. You’re right, Pell’s too obvious from the get go and would have melted down way sooner. That I definitely remember.

Asshole McGee would probably flip his shit every time my coworkers and I joke that a particularly precariously balanced garbage can is “modern art”. In our defense, some of them do wind up being kinda cool looking.

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

thenatfantastic – O_o Biebs as MRA troll?

cloudiah
11 years ago

Pauley Perrette is the actress AVfM has a hate affair with. For some reason. (Reason: She’s a woman.)

Athywren
Athywren
11 years ago

auggz – what is art? The Ring Cycle, prolly. Or other special dudely dude stuff.

Nah, bits of the Ring are alright, but this? This is art:

*bops*

kittehserf
11 years ago

Oh, is that what biebillion means? ::had no idea::

kittehserf
11 years ago

Oy, I thought you were taking those sleepy brain weasels to bed!

ostara321
ostara321
11 years ago

WHATIF Mr 90% were teh biebz? *fantasy lines*

Mr Al as Justin Beiber? It would probably explain a lot, honestly.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

@Alice – It would explain the shortness and the lazy eye (too much time hidden under a fringe)!

@Cloudiah – I KNEW there was a reason I liked Pauly Perrette apart from the fact that her character is ADORBZ.

ostara321
ostara321
11 years ago

@kitteh, sorry, it’s just an absurd fake measurement I use, kinda like “gazillion”.

kittehserf
11 years ago

David, you owe me an egg sammich.

kittehserf
11 years ago

ostara, no worries, it’s funny! 🙂

1 26 27 28 29 30 75