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The Daily Beast takes on the Men’s Rights movement — and takes down A Voice for Men’s John Hembling

John Hembling, possibly lying about something
John Hembling, possibly lying about something

The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of  people.

Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.

It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.

Here’s what it gets right:

1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.

2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.

As Kelly notes:

Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …

Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.

Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:

According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.

It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.

In other words: Cool story, bro.

3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,

the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.

“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”

Indeed, Kelly writes:

It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.

But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.

1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.

2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.

3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?

I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.

4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!

Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

@ nat

I am so shocked, truly I am.

(Actor never seen with any drugs at all would be a far more revelatory story.)

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Katherine Moenig is so gorgeous.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

Haha I know. Apparently the quantity was sports-ball sized, which is fairly impressive, but still not actually news.

Now it’s your turn to tell your Cumberbatch story (pertaining to what I was saying earlier, I can’t fancy him because Sherlock is SUCH AN EPIC D-BAG. Sorry Athywren).

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Nothing specific, just general gossip of the “is kind of a jerk to women” variety. Which is about as surprising as the drugs, really.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Only thing I’ve seen Queen Latifah in was Stranger than Fiction, but I really liked her in that.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Also, I feel like actors who often play scumbags are more likely to attract that kind of gossip, whereas those with a more saintly image are often let off the hook even if they are in fact giant assholes and everyone in the business knows it. The dynamics of how the public relates to and perceives celebrities are weird.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

Queen Latifah was just glorious in Chicago. I like Yael Stone playing Lorna Morello in Orange Is The New Black but haven’t seen any other pictures where she gives me the same fuzzies.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Ooh, I like her.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

^What CassandraSays just said. See also famous MoC v white men, hip-hop/pop, etc etc.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

Uhm what CassandraSays said about men with certain images getting free passes.

katz
11 years ago

Nat, I’d like to know how you personally justify being destructive based on your ideology. Wouldn’t a pro-lifer be equally morally correct in bombing a Planned Parenthood (when no one was around) by your reasoning? Their ideology would be wrong, but they’d be going about it exactly right.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Matthew Gray Gubler. Not the latest haircut though, he needs to grow that mushroom look out!

Pauley Perette, who is, by my understanding, an absolute sweetheart in real life.

And, surprise surprise, the ever lovely and talented Emilie Autumn (you’re stunned, I know)

Oh, and ten (and the Captain), of course.

pecunium
11 years ago

hostilityboy:

What passes for art is in the eye of the beholder. Fine engineering is a form of art.

Non-responsive. The mitigating factory I mentioned was that the telegraph poles were something which was easily replaced. They were, in fact, an aspect of early mass production in Britain.

But hey, gotta keep in shape, and making those goalposts dance will do that for you: keeps the old equivicators in top form.

@ katz, skipping past the pointless ad hominems

Care to demonstrate your rhetorical chops, and explain what was ad hominem about it?

Because it seems she was on point.

Oh… so you think the suffragettes were in the right to destroy telegraph poles. Why didn’t you say so in the first place?

The British bombers

This is why German military production was higher in 1945 than it was in 1940. “Detroit” and the Red Army won the warL because The US provided materiel, and food, to the Russians, which made it possible for them to not sue for a separate peace. That and the English Channel, which made it possible for the Allies to maintain an independent base of operations; but without the Japanese it’s possible the German Submarine effort might have been able to bring the British to the point of starvation.

But thank you for playing, “Debunking Myths About WW2”

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Katz — I can’t speak for Nat, but I’m gonna go ahead and put firebombs and broken windows in separate boxes here. The latter can maybe be acceptable, the former is not, ever.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Wow pecunium, the blockquote monster really likes you today! And you get your own spin off too!

Debunking war myths! With your host…pecunium!!

(I’m just ignoring the troll at this point, after spending well over an hour trying to get the TB on the network using my parents’ win-box, giving up, and doing it in ten on the mac, I’m fresh out of patience)

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

@Katz

I did kind of say I didn’t want to get into it, so if it’s OK can we not? As I said, it’s full of caveats, and more based on the principles of the British suffragettes than ‘let’s go smashy smash’. Also it’s 01.30 here and I need to go to bed soon so I don’t want to start something I can’t finish!

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

Also WRT to your specific scenario, what Argenti said better than me and I just saw 🙂

pecunium
11 years ago

hostilityboy:

I like how many people become decorated generals after the battle – ‘yeah, they should not have bombed Dresden, they should have bombed oil fields (Germany has oil fields?) and oil depots (Germany is Esso?)’.

Those efforts would have been better spent bombing Ploesti, sure, or the ball bearing plants at Schweinfurt (though when they did that the Germans moved to ring bearings, and kept on keeping on).

Since the only reason the Allies bombed Dresden was to make Stalin happy by killing a whole bunch of civlians an Open City, and it has been known since… about a week after it happened, the charge of Monday Morning Quarterbacking is facile.

Then again, you are the one who is pretending to know all the strat/tactical aspects of WW2, so the charge is sort of self-defeating, unless you are now telling us you have had an illustrous career on the General Staff of the Australian Forces.

Is that what you are trying to say?

I thought not.

It was said the civil liberties movement under Martin Luther King was non-violent – UUUUUUUUUUURK – wrong again. MLK himself may not have resorted to violence, but the civil liberties movement as whole did not forego the tactic of causing material damage.

So which is it, MLK, or the, “civil liberties movement as a whole”?

Really, you need to keep the goalposts in one place at least long enough to get a response before you move them.

>There are people who simply don’t have the luxury of a society and government that is willing to listen and act on their behalf. That some people have become too fat and too entitled to realise that there are people besides them who have legitimate concerns, is not our fault.

So you are totes down with people who commit violence, got it. Anything we need to know which isn’t a repeat of things you’ve said before.

kittehserf
11 years ago

There’s an even moreboring troll necroing an old thread. Mind you, it did bring attention to a gorgeous video there.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

Maybe it would be more accurate to say that I don’t think an incident of violence against property (with the caveats) condemns the movement as a whole? That’s probably better.

Tracy
Tracy
11 years ago

Trent Reznor, please. Also Mark Ryder *zomg*

Tracy
Tracy
11 years ago

Man, this thread is moving fast.

ostara321
ostara321
11 years ago

I do not get upset. Apologies if I created the impression. If people consider the portrait, the movie ‘American Pie’ or the Harry Potter series artistic, then more power to them.

Oh, do kindly get off that high horse of yours before you fall off onto your ass. Seriously, I’ve worked with art that not only looked bad, but it smelled horrible too. If Andy Warhol’s piss is art, anything is. And until you’ve written a seven novel bestseller, you can kindly keep from turning your nose up at those you deem undeserving of the term of “art”.

As for this guy’s nationality, all the clumsily placed Britishisms and the “broken English” makes me think this is yet again that recurring troll who was “French” who had “broken English”. Who was also I think the sock of a troll who was a math student who knew lots of influential people and was working on some obscure text or something. Who was also the sock of a troll who was supposedly a successful business man getting his MBA.

I know after a while all trolls start to look the same, but this guy is setting off all my sock radar alerts.

katz
11 years ago

I did kind of say I didn’t want to get into it, so if it’s OK can we not? As I said, it’s full of caveats, and more based on the principles of the British suffragettes than ‘let’s go smashy smash’. Also it’s 01.30 here and I need to go to bed soon so I don’t want to start something I can’t finish!

You can do whatever you want, but I’m massively unimpressed with anyone who goes “this is what I think, but no fair discussing it!”

Katz — I can’t speak for Nat, but I’m gonna go ahead and put firebombs and broken windows in separate boxes here. The latter can maybe be acceptable, the former is not, ever.

But dividing acts by degree is the weakest distinction of all. Then there’s absolutely no clear place to draw the line. And that still leaves breaking the windows of a Planned Parenthood as a fine activity.

But more importantly, acts of vandalism, regardless of degree, serve the same purpose: They’re meant to intimidate and silence people. That’s all they do. They don’t communicate or win people over, they just strongarm people into obedience. And that’s the sort of cowardly tactic people use because they can’t win people over for real.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

As for serving the same purpose, yeah, hence my “maybe”; as for that line though, whether or not anyone could get hurt seems an easy one.

“As for this guy’s nationality, all the clumsily placed Britishisms and the “broken English” makes me think this is yet again that recurring troll who was “French” who had “broken English”. Who was also I think the sock of a troll who was a math student who knew lots of influential people and was working on some obscure text or something. Who was also the sock of a troll who was supposedly a successful business man getting his MBA.”

Faux French was Brz, math boy was Diogenes the Naïf, and I’m assuming the last was Pell…afaik they’re three different pains in the ass.

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